shh...

To quote myself from yesterday: “—I love her girl squad. The Holy Trinity. Honestly I feel as if The Unholy Trinity would fit them better. I say that with love and admiration. They’re just really hot and I feel plenty of ways that certainly aren’t holy.” They’re badass, intelligent, independent ladies who love themselves and each other. They’re the plastics of the faculty. They’re the mean girls after they grow up and become slightly better people and a lot hotter. I think I remember them in their awkward teen years when they were students. Those were better times. Onto them individually! 

Ivy - You all know how I feel about Ivy. But I will say, I don’t really see much of her these days. It’s a bit disappointing that I can’t see her pretty face very often. Especially considering that she’s definitely the one most likely to be able to make a mess, in my opinion.

Astraia - Okay, I don’t even need to say it. Yes, she is also hot as hell. I didn’t see her much back as a student. She only went here for a couple years, I think. But one thing I do remember, this one was the runt of the litter, if you will. Also, I’ve heard some questionable things about her. I won’t go into details now, but out of the three of them, I think she’ll be the first one to have her life blow up in her face.

Daisy - Daisy is so cute. I mean, obviously she’s also hotter than hell, but she’s just cute. She’s shyer than the others. Is she the youngest? I think so. She’s definitely the baby of the family, if you will. She hasn’t given me any reason to be annoyed with that, though. I can’t find myself wanting anything bad for her, yet. She’s sweet and pure and she deserves the sun and the stars and everything in between.

“I’m finding myself enjoying Sophia. She’s entertaining and I feel like she’s pretty interesting. She hasn’t been very messy, but I’m somehow not disappointed about that with her. I know I’ve been a bit harsh with Lily, but I do love her. She’s cute and I have a soft spot in her heart for her. Can I include past slytherin girls? Because I’d practically lay down my life for Ivy at this point. She’s super badass, super hot, I feel some type of way about her, and I love her girl squad. The Holy Trinity. Honestly I feel as if The Unholy Trinity would fit them better. I say that with love and admiration. They’re just really hot and I feel plenty of ways that certainly aren’t holy.”

“...Interesting. I want details, textual and sub-textual evidence supporting this. I’m skeptical for sure. But please, try to convince me.”

“Our little Potter hasn’t really gotten around much, has she? I wish I had a legitimate answer for you, but you can blame that on her. So I’m going to say that I want to see her getting some action. I think she’s boring. Cute, feisty, but a little lackluster. Come on, sweetie. I don’t like being bored.”

“James and Scorpius seem to be getting really close. The kids are calling them Jorpius. This is the Real Connection I was talking about, folks. Meant to be. But I hear that Rayin and Rhys are making out buddies. I don’t know what that is. Sounds like some weak vanilla shit if you ask me, but this is a bunch of teenagers so I don’t know what I was expecting.”

“A Real Connection. Like those telephone hotlines. Are you ready to make a real connection?— Okay. Really. I ship him with real love and happiness. I know it’s a cop out answer but this boy really hasn’t gotten around much, okay? I’m pulling this shit out of my ass.”

“What the fuck kind of question is this? Who do you think I’m gonna say, the Queen of England? No! It’s Eli. It’s always fuckin’ Eli. They’re meant to be, okay? It’s fucking cute. And heartbreaking. But cute, dammit.”

Ruby Greengrass for sure, she really needs to start standing up for herself. Does she want to be living under her sister’s thumb for the rest of her life? Talia Bones too, I mean she’s cute and all but she doesn’t do anything. She’s just there — it’s super awkward. Boys wise I’m surprised Marcus hasn’t done anything yet, he’s a pretty boy could get any girl or boy he wanted at Hogwarts, same goes for Knox too. C’mon guys, do something!

Really? Why so? I haven’t seen her do anything remotely annoying, so I can’t comment.

Kill Rayin, he doesn’t interest me, shag James ‘cause I think he’d be good in bed but he’s not marriage material yet. Marry Zach — ‘cause he’s a cutie.