Cynical

Lungs heavy, can hardly breathe. Heaving in and out as your heart beats faster and faster. You look left and right, trying to see if anyone is judging you or noticing your hard breath. Embarrassed and trying to find a reason, but there is none. No reason at all, and a feeling of complete loneliness and confusion. Burying yourself away is all you can do. Pretending like everything is okay, when it’s not. But what are you going to do? When everywhere you turn you pick up a slight glare, thinking that you did something wrong. Losing people like a child’s baby teeth at the young age of six. Constant and inevitable. It was all your fault, you think inside your head. You don’t fit into place with anyone. Once you start to feel comfortable, you think of the worst and shut everyone out. You don’t belong. You don’t belong in this world, you don’t belong with anybody. Because all the happy doesn’t matter when all you are used to is being left alone. Alone you feel, lost you feel, in a world of total somber.