uhhh
i haven't used this tumblr for a long time and i guess this will be the last time, i have nowhere where i can openly vent about what's going on and i thought as my suicidal ideation started on this website, then this is a good place to end it. plus, nobody is gonna see it so that's super epic and awesome
i'm so exhausted of living, i can't do it anymore. Waking up is pain, and living in this same flat where i was raped and abused in with no way out is killing me, thankfully he is not in the picture anymore and i'm in a loving relationship with the most beautiful person i think i've ever met but unfortunately i do not think that this enough to keep me from leaving.
i'm so terminally unhappy with the life i'm living, from a lifetime of trauma being neglected and abused by my mother, to being sexually abused and raped during my teenage years. My first trauma free year of my entire life was this year and it kinda puts things into perspective for me. That i was never meant to be here and i'll never ever see happiness and life for what it truly is. I'm sorry to the people i'm leaving behind but i just can't do this anymore.
see ya later i guess
