Your mind gives up before your body does.

I have restarted my weight loss journey so many times. This time I had had enough. Before the first photo I had been 224 pounds at my heaviest, I had gone through a break up, had a miscarriage, drank and ate my feelings for a whole year. I decided enough was enough. I felt fat and horrible and didn’t love myself anymore. I didn’t take any photos of myself for so long but in January I decided to start. I knew I was going to hate it and not want to look at it and I did, I tried my best to avoid seeing it. And then I took another one in May, and again I tried to avoid seeing it in my camera roll. The other day before my long awaited appointment with the obesity doctor (id been on the wait list for 11 months) I decided to look at the photos. It’s hard for me to see myself smaller than I was before, I still look in the mirror and see who I was before. Every time I emotionally eat I remember the feeling I had in my stomach when my doctor told me I was clinically obese and I hate it. Seeing these photos, is proof to myself that progress is possible, I have come so far and I can lose weight. I need to work on accepting that I’m never going to look like a Victoria secret model and learn how to love myself despite it all but what I do know is that I’m proud of how far I’ve come this year.

That means I've lost 24 pounds! I'm so happy.

That means I've lost 12 pounds since my first weight in!