if  it  truly  meant  as  little  to  him  as  he  made  it  out  to,  would  he  really  be  dodging  the  question  so  stubbornly?  if  it  was  nothing  but  casual,  then  why  hold  back?  self-soothing  actions  steering  his  hand  once  again,  he  lightly  scratched  his  temple  before  confessing.  “prince  tyr.  that  is  who.”  

“   well   ,   you   must   not   fear   for   you   and   i   to   cross   over   him   .   while   we   do   share   taste   in   men   it   appears   ,   i   had   him   and   have   no   desire or care   to   ride   the   same   horse twice   .   he   is   all   yours   .   “   was   this   a   way   for   them   to   make   peace   ?   will   kept   distance   to   aksel   and   arie   would   not   make   moves   on   tyr   ?   perhaps   ,   common   grounds   .   “   william   ,   i   seek   no   dispute   with   you   .   i   have   no   differences   with   the   scott’s   nor   you   personally   .   however   ,   you   and   i   have   changed   .   now   tell   me   ,   does   our   friendship   not   appeal   to   you   any   longer   ?   or   why   is   it   that   you   keep   trying   to   exclude   me   from   your   life   ?   secrets   here   and   there   ,   whenever   i   ask   i   get   dismissed   .   is   this   how   you   treat   your   friends   always   ?   because   if   it   is   i   had   preferred   our   affaire   over   it   .   at   least   then   you   would   communicate   with   you   dearest   frisian   prince   .   “

so  he  did  not  defend  himself,  did  not  fight  the  claims  or  assumptions  made  of  him.  instead,  he  played  along,  leaned  closer  as  well  to  show  he  was  not  afraid  to  play  chicken.  “your  dearest  highness,  i  beg,  next  you  find  yourself  straying  towards  our  camp  in  need  of  relief,  consider  how good it might feel  shutting  me  up  in  a  less  verbal and instead  more  physical  sense.”

“   that   sounds   much   better   .   “   a   hand   comes   up   ,   cupping   the   delicate   chin   of   the   pale   man   .   “   you   make   me   proud   .   such   a   quick   learner   .   now   ,   you   make   me   feel   generous   .   i   will   excuse   the   rude   way   in   which   you   approached   me   .   “   hand   falls   from   his   chin   once   more   .   “   but   possibly   now   is   as   good   as   ever   to   silence   you   ,   what   do   you   think   ?   have   you   ever   been   laid   on   silk   ,   boy   ?   “   inviting   him   into   his   chambers   before   even   asking   for   his   name   .   keep   it   impersonal   .   good   .   no   chance   to   feel   any   sort   of   attachment   .   

ready with a witty retort in regards to his bathing habits, aksel turned his head with a playful scowl on his expression. had it come from anybody else he might have found it more of an insult, instead he was ready to fire back at his friend with the same tone - stopping when lachlan spoke his next words. " what? " distracted by the crown prince's words, the viking missed his chance to capture the fishes in the net and by the time his head turned back most of them had swam off, though catching food was no longer his priority - but had it ever been?

the selfish part of him felt something resembling relief, though he knew it was wrong. he wanted his friend to be happy, no matter their past together. " then that is her loss and my gain, i get to keep my closest friend for a while longer. " aksel winked in lachlan's direction. it was an attempt to cheer his friend up, he knew him well enough to know he would be hurting inside. a glance back to the now empty net had the viking pull it out of the water back to it's rightul place. " there are plenty more fish in the sea, but they are not in my net. " he rolled his eyes. " you caught enough anyway. i'll stick to my swords. "

approaching his friend properly, not with the net nor what he was trying to do in his way this time, his hand raised to rest on lachlan's shoulder and fingers gave a reassuring squeeze. " you're a good man and you have a good heart, you will find someone and they'll treat you as you deserve. " with one more squeeze of his fingers, aksel let go and stepped to the side - his own heart suddenly feeling a little too heavy. perhaps they both needed a distraction. " now lets go back and get a drink, you need one and i need to mask the small of fish with the inside of a tavern. "

baby   blue   hues   remained   on   the   net   even   after   the   fish   had   escaped   due   to   aksel’s   rapid   motion   .   they   both   knew   it   .   knew   how   desperately   he   wished   to   find   someone   ,   to   start   a   family   .   he   was   coming   of   age   more   and   more   .   34   that   year   still   and   yet   ,   had   not   provided   a   heir   for   the   case   that   he   became   king   .   no   children   to   continue   their   family   tree   .   no   wife   or   husband   to   plan   such   future   with   either   .   the   pressure   grew   .   more   and   more   .   the   older   he   got   ,   the   older   the   king   got   .   the   town   talked   –   rumors   grew   ,   so   did   doubts   .   it   would   be   easy   to   marry   just   anyone   and   do   what   he   was   supposed   to   do   .   but   lachlan   was   not   selfish   enough   to   expect   anyone   to   enter   a   loveless   marriage   .   while   he   lacked   emotional   intelligence   ,   he   did   not   find   himself   to   be   cruel   either   .   not   like   father   …

forcing   the   corner   of   his   mouth   to   curl   up   ,   he   finally   looks   over   at   his   friend   .   “   oh   come   on   .   you   would   never   lose   me   as   a   friend   .   no   matter   what   .   “   he   pulls   in   the   net   to   give   his   hands   something   to   do   but   aksel’s   hand   found   his   shoulder   to   recapture   his   attention   .  

this   time   when   their   eyes   meet   ,   he   feels   it   .   feels   the   weight   of   their   history   .   perhaps   the   reason   it   was   so   easy   to   dismiss   all   feelings   he’d   ever   had   for   another   person   was   because   there   was   one   person   who   he’d   never   really   let   go   of   .   who   he   had   thought   he   would   be   together   with   ,   would   have   said   children   with   ,   would   rule   scotland   with   –   one   day   .   but   it   was   too   unrealistic   .   too   out   of   reach   .   a   viking   and   a   scott   on   the   throne   .   reigning   two   nations   who   despised   each   other   .   so   he   had   let   it   go   .   he   had   …   right   ?   “   thanks   ,   brother   .   i   am   certain   you   are   correct   .   “   hand   comes   up   to   aksel’s   wrist   to   give   it   a   squeeze   before   turning   away   to   get   the   horses   ready   for   their   return   to   the   city   .   this   moment   alone   ,   it   had   almost   felt   too   intimate   .   it   had   almost   felt   as   it   had   almost   felt   .   close   .   full   of   trust   .   lovely   ,   perhaps   .   that   was   if   such   thing   could   exist   between   norseman   and   scot   .   

lachlan   had   gotten   so   used   to   ignoring   the   voice   of   his   heart   that   he   did   it   with   ease   now   .   silly   smirk   on   his   lis   instead   as   he   sat   on   the   back   of   the   horse   .   “   a   drink   sounds   about   right   .   or   five   …   “   

Magnificent Century - Kösem: Episode 43

his hand fell from his face, gaze cast up to look at his younger brother. a look of disproval, even confusion rest on it while no words escaped him. he didn't have to question how such a thing had come to happen, he knew arie was more of a free spirit than the rest of his siblings. but he wasn't angry, not truly, frustrated yes but when he finally spoke it was paired with a roll of his eyes. " you... " words failed him again. " arie, why? please tell me you will at least marry her? it is the decent thing to do, for you and your family and whoever this woman is. "

“   of   course   not   .   “   the   younger   one   spoke   instantly   .   “   i   mean   …   not   of   course   not   but   brother   …   no   .   i   do   not   wish   to   marry   .   and   do   not   question   me   for   why   i   did   it   .   have   you   never   felt   desire   ?   never   found   yourself   in   the   presence   of   a   beautiful   woman   who   chooses   all   the   right   words   ?   i   am   a   man   only   .   so   it   happened   .   “   there   was   more   resistance   than   he   had   shown   against   freddy   but   the   more   arie   got   put   down   for   the   circumstances   he   had   caused   ,   the   more   bitter   he   grew   .   

“  your  child.  ”      unable  to  stop  herself  from  finishing  his  sentence  as  she  glanced  down  to  her  middle,  her  eyes  lingered  before  she  allowed  herself  to  look  back  to  the  prince.    “  -  and  princes  may  not  scare  easily  but  i  am..  scared.    i  do  not  have  the  same  luxuries  as  you  nor  do  i  have  a  family  to  run  to  when  i  get  scared.  Instead  all  i  have  you…    yet  you  run  and  claim  you’re  not  scared.  ”    she  should  have  bitten  her  tongue,  elif  knew  that  but  it  was  difficult  to  restrain  herself  after  waiting  for  him  to  show  up  all  this  time.  

now  he  was  here  and  he  was  inviting  her  to  a  birthday  party?  she  tried  to  give  him  the  benefit  of  the  doubt.  but  she  couldn’t  help  that  unease  inside  her.    “  i  appreciate  the  invitation  but  i  wont  be  attending,  i  have  work  to  do.  I’m  sure  the  king  can  send  for  me  if  he  wishes  to  and  i  will  be  happy  to  speak  with  him.  ”    it  wasn’t  all  a  lie,  she  had  work  to  do  though  she  also  didn’t  wish  to  be  sat  there  when  people  started  to  talk.  words  waited  on  her  tongue  but  elif  couldn’t  find  it  in  her  to  not  speak  them  -  even  if  she  wasn’t  sure  she  wanted  the  answer.    “  once  i  have  our  child,  what  then?  what  happens?  Or  have  you  not  considered  it  yet?  ”

gaze   is   lowered   to   his   own   shoes   once   more   .   “   yes   .   our   child   .   “   it   is   the   first   time   he   says   it   out   loud   .   their   child   .   their   baby   .   their   kin   .   which   made   her   …   part   of   his   family   too   .   for   a   man   who   honored   the   bond   between   relatives   as   much   as   he   did   ,   he   had   let   her   down   even   if   they   were   not   family   by   law   .   “   if   this   is   about   luxuries   ,   you   can   have   it   all   .   what   do   you   need   ?   new   clothes   ?   a   new   bed   ?   you   are   more   than   invited   to   live   in   the   palace   with   us   .   i   will   provide   a   room   for   you   .   a   midwife   .   a   doctor   .   “   failing   to   see   that   what   she   needed   was   he   .   the   father   .   if   not   in   a   romantic   way   then   at   least   as   support   .

the   rejection   of   his   invitation   hit   the   wrong   spot   .   it   angered   him   and   while   arie   aimed   to   bite   his   tongue   ,   arms   are   crossed   in   front   of   his   chest   now   and   he   looks   up   finally   .   “   you   cannot   deny   a   royal   invitation   .   “   frowning   ,   arie   shakes   his   head   ,   trying   to   free   himself   of   the   insult   she   threw   at   him   .   even   though   the   mother   of   his   unborn   child   ,   he   could   not   handle   the   disrespect   .   “   you   must   not   speak   to   me   as   if   i   am   a   child   ,   elif   .   i   am   a   prince   !   and   while   i   understand   i   have   angered   you   ,   you   will   respect   me   .   if   not   as   a   person   then   at   least   for   the   crown   .   our   child   will   grow   up   a   van   wieren   !   you   must   not   think   i   am   careless   solely because   i   am   …   !   “   the   last   word   is   swallowed   .   strange   words   that   he   had   repeated   before   would   only   be   contradicted   if   he   admitted   to   how   he   really   felt   .   “   i   will   ask   my   brother   for   help   .   “   clearly   aroused   ,   the   prince   tries   to   smooth   out   his   clothing   instead   of   admitting   to   his   fear   …

admittedly, it hadn't been something they could pursue singlemindedly. though they wanted to know, wanted confirmation in one way or another, even if it stung, they each had their own duties to attend to, ilja's more pressing than their own. it seemed like he was frequently dealing with some important seeming matter, if his proximity to the hungarian king was any indication. not as often as that other one --augustus had not caught a name, but it did well to at least recognize the people of certain employ-- but...often enough augustus could never quite find the right moment.

it appeared now, though. no one ever seems to be fully alone with so many people at this gathering, but this would be enough. and suddenly they realize that they have no idea what to say. are you avoiding me sounds accusatory and childish, not to mention stupid. they're almost certain he is. the why of it is what vexes them. "ilja, i, ah..." a cop out. a bad excuse. "wynflæd has asked about you. she's, um...noticed your sudden absence. too perceptive for her own good."

now   ,   that   they   stood   across   from   each   other   again   ,   the   guard   still   felt   that   softness   with   the   vibration   of   their   voice   and   made   him   wish   they   could   kiss   once   more   .   but   they   could   not   .   because   to   augustus   he   would   never   be   what   he   was   so   willing   to   make   them   .   ilja   would   always   be   just   a   guard   .   and   they   ?   they   would   be   everything   .   

“   your   highness   .   “   politely   ,   bows   his   head   .   “   she   is   a   smart   girl   ,   chasing   after   her   parents   it   appears   .   “   he   wants   to   smile   .   even   as   he   feels   the   defeat   .   defeat   because   no   matter   how   much   he   had   wished   to   find   a   place   by   their   side   ,   he   was   aware   that   it   would   not   be   .   “   i   hope   she   is   doing   well   .   “   and   he   hoped   so   was   augustus   .   asking   would   have   been   easy   but   it   would   have   made   all   of   this   personal   once   more   and   he   had   to   try   doing   the   opposite   of   it   .   had   to   try   distancing   himself   from   them   ,   from   the   thought   of   being   with   them   .  

daring   to   crumble   under   the   weight   he   loaded   on   his   own   back   ,   the   guard   finally   looks   away   .   this   time   ,   head   lowered   some   as   if   he   winced   from   his own   thoughts   .   the   case   was   clear   .   he   had   grown   feelings   for   the   crown   prince   .   not   love   quite   yet   but   getting   there   the   more   he   romanticized   that   one   evening   in   the   tavern   .   the   more   he   wanted   to   force   himself   to   let   go   …   the   deeper   he   fell   .   “   perhaps   you   would   not   mind   carrying   my   apologies   to   her   .   “   was   he   still   explaining   himself   to   their   daughter   ?   “   but   a   guard   is   to   guard   …   “

he couldn't quite remember a time, not recently at least, where he'd last felt this... out of place? being spoken to by his brother as if he was anything like them, and that it was the most obvious thing in the world that he ought to be included in talk of friesal men despite what he'd been raised to believe. "it is not like that, lachlan," he said, still searching for the least uncomfortable way away from this topic. "i wish not to marry and i'm very certain it's mutual."

finally   ,   an   eyebrow   wanders   up   on   his   forehead   .   “   you   are   certain   ?   have   you   ... discussed   it   ?   “   they   were   done   with   their   food   and   since   the   rest   of   their   family   had   wandered   off   already   ,   lachlan   let   the   servants   start   to   clear   the   table   .   “   you   know   ,   brother   .   i   know   not   much   of   love   or   …   what   it   is   people   search   in   each   other   .   but   i   do   know   that   it   is   in   all   of   us   ,   every   man   and   every   woman   ,   to   seek   it   .   even   father   …   found   mother   .   “   the   crown   prince   looks   away   for   a   brief   moment   .   “   why   is   it   you   pretend   not   to   desire   it   ?   “   constant   reminder   of   the   lack   of   their   mother   pointed   at   so   many   uncomfortable   truths   .   now   more   than   ever   ,   he   was   reminded   that   he   lacked   a   partner   too   .   and   one   day   ,   he   would   be   king   .   no   heir   to   provide   ,   not   even   the   prospect   of   it   .   and   it   would   put   william   in   the   direct   line   to   the   crown   .   to   put   this   pressure   on   his   younger   sibling   worried   him   .   it   worried   him   because   he   knew   well   enough   …   will   would   never   want   it   .   

" milo. " marius broke his gaze this time, if only for a moment. " i would like you to watch milo. " and if he were to find out he would know where it had come from. words came from the king more slowly now, hesitant almost. he hated to even speak of it but he could leave no stone unturned. " it's not that i suspect him... but i suspect he knows more than he is telling me, maybe for my own good but i would like to know and i imagine you would be my best chance, no? " would he truly let ilja see his daughter when it was all said and done? perhaps. even if he allowed such a thing she would still be his own. time would only tell if his heart would allow it.

finally   ,   baby   blue   hues   are   dragged   away   and   ilja   looks   at   his   own   hands   for   a   brief   moment   .   it   was   submissive   ,   ducking   his   head   some   ,   none   of   the   pride   he   carried   visible   in   that   moment   .   though   ,   it   was   the   only   way   for   him   to   be   half   safe   as   he   continued   to   speak   .   “   to   find   out   the   truth   about   the   queen’s   death   is   dear   to   both   of   us   .   as   was   she   .   “   clearing   his   throat   finally   ,   the   guard   rises   from   the   king’s   seat   and   returns   to   the   usual   straight   posture   .   “   now   ,   if   you’ll   excuse   me   ,   lord   king   .   was   there   more   you   need   me   for   ?   otherwise   ,   i   shall   return   to   work   .   “

"I- I would not miss it." He could not. It meant much to his brother, he knew well enough, even if he said otherwise. "Though... I might not stay too long." Frederik had never been the last to leave a party. "I heard the Count of Hainaut once say a party did not begin until the king left." The count had of course not realized how close said king had been. Despite his title Frederik had never enjoyed being at a center of a room, he stayed toward the edges, preferred allowing others to shine. "So you must not worry, I will not dim the mood for too long."

chocolate   hues   look   back   at   the   older   brother   .   there   is   a   moment   of   hesitation   .   they   did   not   do   this   .   not   ever   .   discuss   feelings   ,   talk   about   differences   .   it   was   usually   just   arie   barking   and   being   met   with   silence   or   agreeance   .   “   brother   .   “   the   younger   one   started   ,   lacking   the   usual   confidence   in   his   tone   .   “   what   must   i   do   to   earn   your   forgiveness   ?   i   know   i   have   angered   you   but   i   carry   love   for   you   and   i   would   like   for   us   to   make   up   again   .   the   tension   in   this   room   becomes   more   and   more   unbearable   .   “