There’s something soft in me— / we killed it and it’s rotting.
Cassandra de Alba, from “A Barbie Dream House But All the Dolls Are Kitchen Knives,” published in Underblong (via lifeinpoetry)
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@0xa00001
There’s something soft in me— / we killed it and it’s rotting.
Cassandra de Alba, from “A Barbie Dream House But All the Dolls Are Kitchen Knives,” published in Underblong (via lifeinpoetry)

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james values solitude and privacy. it shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone that james is an intense introvert who doesn’t mind being alone for days at a time when he’s knee-deep in some weekly fascination, but I do like to point out that he refers to that alone time as “charging his batteries,” because that’s the kind of dork he is.
along those lines, when james has decided you’re somebody worthy of his time and trust, he makes the effort to seek you out when he needs that time to recharge. he has no problem sharing that space with you, as long as you’re not especially intrusive; quietly working beside one another or simply unwinding (though I don’t think james park knows the definition of “relax”) in silence, soft music or tv warbling in the background, is one of his favourite things to do.
❝ I guess beer is just one of those horrible things adults do. Like doing taxes and having babies. ❞
MEME. MEME TAG. INBOX. ALWAYS ACCEPTING! @eyemoticons
adults. funny how james can be acutely aware of the fact that he has over ten years on wrench (he thinks; not like he can know with that mask and with the sweet fuck and all he can find about him) and still be thrown whenever it’s brought up. dedsec has always been primarily for under-thirties but san francisco is especially young.
he pulls a face.
“implying you’d ever do any of those things even if you were an adult,” and he forces as much sarcasm as he can into the word— “and besides, beer is a drink for frat boys. I prefer whiskey.”
"sooooo..." he's dangling backwards over the arm of a couch, mask lighting up in amusement. "you wanna tell me what that face is about? twitchy twitch twitch."
ANARCHIST ANTAGONIZES LOCAL CODE MONKEY
wrench knows exactly what’s got james irked. the way he lounges all loose, gangly limbs splayed across the hackerspace couch proves it, as if the singsong and delighted expression weren’t damning enough.
as far as hackers are concerned, changing your phone background is an incredibly benign prank. and it’s one thing to do it when james stupidly leaves his phone at his desk; that’s the kind of behaviour he’s come to expect of him by now— once james had taken six hours to realize wrench had replaced his existing one with one with a tiny 🖕 hidden in the corner when james had stepped out to grab something from his car.
it’s another thing to do it while james has his phone in his hand.
here’s how it happens: one second, james is politely ignoring a notification from one of their low-level contacts. the next, james is realizing in the span of him opening the message, reading it, and closing it again, his generic android wallpaper has switched to some salacious photo of… a hermit crab in a technicolour fleshlight?
that twitching is, in fact, james trying very hard to not break into a grin.
“how’d you do it?” you’re lucky he’s more entertained than mad— he’s still a hacker, after all, and there’s nothing he loves more than a clever exploit. “stagefright? backdoor through the dedsec app?”
after raiding his fridge and finding hardly anything within it (he's always working so damn hard, on dedsec, on the family he *still* hasn't quit yet for some damn reason), yufi decides to go buy him some things. It's not a lot, but...
LOCAL NERD REALIZES HE CANNOT SURVIVE ON CAFFEINE AND TRAIL MIX
james insists he picks up food to eat on the days he goes out. but as usual with james, there’s that nagging little omission in his half-truths: on the days he goes out, and yufi should know well by now that sometimes those days are few and far between. these days especially, with james’ attention utterly ensnared by this latest passion project— it’s certainly not the first time this has happened, but it’s the first one that’s stretched on this long, the first one that’s consumed him so completely, the first one that’s driven him to sleepless nights from more than just determination to see the task finished.
he’s spoken the words so many times they’re worn into the grooves of his mouth: sleep’s for when the work done.
here’s the thing about doing good: the work will never be done.
he doesn’t even realize he’s got three missed messages from her because he’s been so consumed by this network architecture. his attention doesn’t waver from the carefully drawn diagrams of switches and servers until he hears the jingle of keys and the soft click of his lock. only three people have the key. it’s not wo fat, he always has the key ready before he gets there. it’s not majima, he likes to make sure james knows he’s at the door.
yufi, then. and she’s… struggling? the keys jangle like off-tune windchimes for a couple seconds longer than he expects. long enough that it becomes a more pressing question than the networking he’s mulling over, and he’s at his door just in time to—
come face to face with two bags of groceries, unceremoniously shoved right into his chest.
“about time!”
this is usually the time when some dry witticism exits james’ mouth, but james is running a bit short in the snark department right now as he realizes, yes, it has been that long since he’s eaten. instead he just ushers the bags onto the nearest counter, leafing through plastic containers of frozen rolls of meat and bouillons of stock and greens that look like she’s just plucked them out of the nearest coop.
his stomach growls at him like he’s betrayed it. maybe a bit of hotpot will get james back in its good graces.
"you’re too good to me.“
"I know.”

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garrotejima.
“Between the both of ya, you two ain’t even got ‘nough for damn scraps.” And that’s saying something from a man so wry and gangly? But, hey. C'est la vie, right? Majima gnaws at his cigarette butt, and the wafting hit of nicotine dulls the aches in his bruises. It’s a pretty scene up here, camped by James’ window: the neon glows, and the skies are hazed, and the nights paint red his welts… But, now, hold on. Is that – is that double large fries with that smoke? “Stopped by for some grub after 'business’,” Majima says, popping suddenly over Yufi’s. Shake, shake. The Smile Burger bag he has sings deliciously. “So, Skin and Bones, ya gonna help or what?”
@0xa00001 and @bloodfcst, THING 1 AND THING 2!
james' apartment is predictably devoid of food by the time they've commenced their thursday night ritual of netflix, you'd think james grand strategist park would think far enough ahead to pick up some damn munchies for the evening after literal years of doing this, but here they are, with the only things worth eating being coffee grinds and cat food.
enter majima, their burger-wielding fairy godfather. he interrupts their idle scrolling though takeout options with all the subtlety and tact of a punch in the face. this is not surprising.
majima knows his order. this is not surprising, either.
“working overtime, I see,” hacker-gremlin fingers make efficient work of the wrappers. the lower half of his body is lost somewhere beneath the abyss of the heated kotatsu. “am I skin or bones in this scenario? yufi should be skin. she’s got a better complexion than me.”
what is more unfair than having to choose between being a monster or being a hero? (—when you have to be both.) when you learn that the road to hell is paved with more than just good intentions.
you are not heads or tails; you are the coin | m.a.w (via dvoyd)
shut up shut up shut up!
biofought.
He’s so focused on the laptop screen that he almost jumps at the sudden voice, hand instinctively taking hole of the top of the lid as he looks up. Slight relax in posture as he realizes who it is, smirk growing on his lips. He budges up the park bench to allow space for James to sit down. “ Oh really? It’s pretty great, right? ” The tone matches the light hearted, playful tone as he accepts the cup, quick to thank him for the well needed caffine. As much as he slept compared to the other, chasing down cults and corrupt companies was pretty draining at times.
“ Seems like everyone a piece o’ the action here, y’ know they just love jumpin’ on those bandwagons. “ He chuckles, taking a sip from his own cup. There’s worry for how exhausted the other seems to constantly look, head tilting slightly before he glances back at the laptop. Smirk quickly returns to lips as he tilts the laptop towards him, gesturing for him to take a look. “ Y’ gonna want to see this though, I pinned down some a’ their member’s super secret messaging servers – well, not so secret anymore – “
he cocks a brow at marcus' frantic coverup, not intentionally malicious but marcus might mistake it for a jeering— good instinct, james thinks, and gladly takes up the seat beside him. but james, being james, doesn't sit beside him; rather pops his foot up on the seat and settles on the back of the bench itself, so his gold floral derbies are on the seat beside marcus.
agreement comes in the hissing laugh between james' teeth. "certainly no shortage of people eager to make themselves into examples," he muses, and when marcus offers him super secret chatroom dumps— well, that smile tugs into something that might just be delighted.
he leans closer to read, taking a long sip as he does. horatio and sitara had been quick to praise marcus when james had asked, but seeing his turnaround time and determination— well, even james is impressed. kid brushes up against the best and brightest and doesn't even flinch.
"oh," it's a low noise, the kind that sings of piqued curiosity.— if james were a cat, his pupils would be blown out moons in his eyes. "is that the CEO of kindling?"
“Sleep is for the weak,” i say. my hands are shaking. i can hear colors.

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catherds.
there’s barely anyone in the maker-space this early, but daisy’s rigid in her regiment, she has to be. the mere concept of a lack of structure actively makes her uneasy. today’s her day off and for once she has no projects, nothing to do in regards to school which gives her all of the time to dedicate towards the breadcrumbs amr and lola had been so kind as to leave for her. when the door suddenly opens, she knows by the sound of the footsteps who it is. amr’s either extremely light or heavy no inbetween and lola due to her love of combat boots has weight in her walk, grace is light, ev is medium. the faint point-zero-two second breadth is what makes her aware. james never just walks in unless there’s trouble or a huge op going on. brown eyes don’t even glance upward as the sound of a clacking keyboard fills the room. ❛ i just put on coffee, there’s bagels on the counter. ❜ // @0xa00001.
in a group where chaos isn't likely so much as it's in the job description, daisy is one of the few stalwart pillars of consistency that allows their operations to function. even james' habits run on oddly-rotating cycles, like his days are twenty-six hours long and his math is in base twelve. know him long enough and you'll learn the harmony in his disorder.
the sun's barely risen over the horizon when james enters the back door of the cafe, and amr and beth are already working at opening for the day— the smell of fresh coffee drawn up through his lungs makes him perk like pavlov's dog to the dinner bell, coffee == wakefulness a correlation james has drawn for an ever-growing majority of his life. he stifles a yawn down the hackerspace steps, eyes still sleep-dull behind the frames of his glasses.
"have I ever told you you're a saint?" he's been awake for an hour at most, the emotional suppression centers of james' brain aren't entirely operational yet. he cracks a tired smile through sleep-slurred words. "s'it kicking horse?"
soft reminder that james park is a vicious idealist, the embodiment of “good is not soft,” ruthless and pragmatic in the pursuit of protecting people and absolutely does not hesitate to crush anyone who abuses their power along the way. the world can be a better place, we can make it a better place, but we have to destroy the people who inhibit that first.
ruffles hair.
LOCAL CAT IN HUMAN FORM SECRETLY WANTS SCRITCHES
“hey.”
it’s the gentle-yet-firm kind of scolding he’d give sissel for climbing up on his bed, a my pride obligates me to tell you to stop but I’d actually prefer it if you didn’t warning that doesn’t sound the least big convincing out his mouth. maybe ver’s discovered that james’ secret is that he’s weak for a hand on his head by pure, spiteful coincidence. maybe james isn’t complaining about this fact.
he glances over into the mirror— narcissist— and examines the new impromptu, dishevelled styling she’s decided is appropriate for today. tucks a couple stands out of his face. hums a note. “think it looks better this way.”
night in the woods → sentence starters
slightly edited in some cases to work for rp purposes. feel free to change phrasing or pronouns to fit your muse(s)!
❝ Do you think we’d be friends if we weren’t, like, stuck together in the same town? ❞
❝ My entire life feels like running after something that keeps moving away into the distance, while I stay in the same place. ❞
❝ I believe in a universe that doesn’t care and people who do. ❞
❝ We’re all gonna die if we don’t keep living. ❞
❝ Go legally braindead from lack of oxygen due to choking on my entire ass! ❞
❝ There is not one person on God’s Earth who doesn’t love tacos! ❞
❝ I am so scared all the time and the fear hurts. ❞
❝ Pretty amazing, to be something at least. ❞
❝ I have really up up days and really down down days. And I don’t know which it is until it’s over sometimes. ❞
❝ Plastic bags are the ghosts of supermarkets. ❞
❝ Being the only queer people in town sucks. ❞
❝ Not knowing how something worked used to seem like… magic. Now not knowing means it might be going wrong and I may not be able to fix it . ❞
❝ When I die, I want it to hurt. When my friends leave, when I have to let go, when this entire town is wiped off the map, I want it to hurt. Bad. I want to lose. I want to get beaten up. I want to hold on until I’m thrown off and everything ends. And you know what? Until that happens, I want to hope again. And I want it to hurt. Because that means it meant something. ❞
❝ It’s a fantastic ass right? ❞
❝ No fascists at this party! ❞
❝ You could vape. ❞
❝ You know when your body is like ‘Uh whoa I almost died,’ and you get all hyper because you’re filled with dolphins? ❞
❝ At the end of everything, hold on to anything. ❞
❝ If anyone’s going to ruin your night, it should be you. ❞
❝ I’m like, proud of us all, for having good-ass lives in a shitty, stupid, good-ass town. ❞
❝ Nothing is going to save us forever, But a lot of things can save us today. ❞
❝ And nobody cares! I wanted someone to notice things aren’t OK. ❞
❝ Once haunted, can a place be unhaunted? ❞
❝ We devote ourselves to something we barely understand, something we can never touch. We give it a name, and we give ourselves a name for doing so. All of it creates this connection. And that connection, that becomes the thing we can touch. ❞
❝ Oh my god. That was dangerous. I could’ve died. THAT WAS AMAZING! ❞
❝ There was until one afternoon… where something just broke. Reality broke. ❞
❝ They said I had an anger problem, but that’s not true. ❞
❝ I know this won’t save me in the end, but I don’t need it to save me forever, I just need it to save me now. ❞
❝ I have the worst face. I have a nightmare face. ❞
❝ Don’t panic but we’re maybe all gonna die soon. ❞
❝ Okay, I don’t feel comfortable with you objectifying my boyfriend. ❞
❝ I’m gonna go run around naked in the wooooooods! ❞
❝ You can’t take a woman’s husband just because he’s dead! ❞
❝ I am super, super gay. ❞
❝ I think my total gayness came through to the discerning reader. ❞
❝ I am extremely unhappy and you’re the only person who knows. ❞
❝ My dad/mom/parents didn’t like me. ❞
❝ My dad used to hit me a lot. ❞
❝ My mom like, wouldn’t feed me. ❞
❝ I’d be locked in there for a day sometimes, or overnight. So I’d try to develop psychic powers so I could like signal to the neighbors or unlock the door. Didn’t work, as you might guess. ❞
❝ I never told anybody. After a while, I started feeling guilty too, for some reason. Like this was something bad I was doing? ❞
❝ Being abused isn’t your fault at all. ❞
❝ I’m just glad I didn’t – yeah, anyway. ❞
❝ My dad had to stop drinking because he was a danger to me and my mom. ❞
❝ I want to grow giant and pick you all up and carry you somewhere safe. ❞
❝ Screw it! I’m doing two beers! I’m doing beer! ❞
❝ I guess beer is just one of those horrible things adults do. Like doing taxes and having babies. ❞
❝ Time makes most dangerous things less dangerous. ❞
❝ I stayed and grew up while you left and stayed the same. ❞
❝ I don’t even believe in hell and I hope they go straight there. ❞
❝ Hey you get that porn off your laptop? ❞
❝ You’re a smooth talker. you’re a smoothie. ❞
❝ Eff college!! All those rich kids and hot people all wring sex and having papers with each other! ❞
❝ I was just saying you look like crap because I love you. ❞
❝ Let’s steal from my boss, who trusted me! ❞
❝ ______ is probably bipolar. ❞
❝ I don’t know what this feeling is. ❞
❝ Don’t ever say daddy again. ❞
❝ I can’t not give a shit. ❞
❝ I thought you couldn’t leave home because of your… issue? ❞
❝ You’re home enough. ❞
❝ Isn’t it illegal to smoke indoors? ❞
CHARACTER SHEET
repost. do not reblog.
𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬 !
FULL NAME. james park NICKNAME. COLON3L, jams, jimmy, dad, dadsec, shrimp scampi chan GENDER. male HEIGHT. 5'5" (165cm) AGE. late thirties to early forties (main verse) ZODIAC. scorpio, rat. SPOKEN LANGUAGES. english, korean, japanese (verse-dependent)
𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬 !
HAIR COLOR. black. EYE COLOR. dark brown. SKIN TONE. pale BODY TYPE. ectomorph. like undercooked spaghetti stapled to a broom. ACCENT. english: american english with just a touch of new york. japanese: naturally kansai he tries to cover with the tokyo dialect, but it tends to slip when he's upset or, ahem, occupied. VOICE. tenor. clipped, with a very dry, subtle sarcasm. rarely stammers or uses fillers. DOMINANT HAND. right. POSTURE. chin up, closed off, exuding confidence in that "I am exactly where I'm supposed to be" sort of way. the kind of absolutely certainty that any situation is completely under his control at any time. SCARS. a healed-over piercing on his left ear. a small scar on his left thumb. a long scar through the center of his right palm. a long scar along his right shoulder blade. TATTOOS. none. ): BIRTHMARKS. none. MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S). a finely-curated wardrobe and how each part of him seems meticulously put-together. the fact that not a trace of emotion can be found on his face or figure except for the faint tug of his lips, an ever-present smirk— a "dance, monkey" kind of smirk.
𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝 !
PLACE OF BIRTH. new york, new york. HOMETOWN. new york, new york. BIRTH WEIGHT. [error] BIRTH HEIGHT. [error] MANNER OF BIRTH. [error] FIRST WORDS. [error] SIBLINGS. julian park, older brother. prosecutor. PARENTS. joon-hyuk park, margaret park (nee sudo) PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT. absentee at best, downright abusive at worst. mostly emotionally, though sometimes physically as well; james was largely raised by his brother and the family's golden child, julian. all of his early issues with self confidence, his sexuality, and his purpose in life stem from the complete absence of recognition he received, leading to him thinking of his family as a non-entity. he hasn't seen them since he turned 18 and he's happier for it.
𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 !
OCCUPATION. officially a freelance security analyst and owner of an electronics disposal company, though he prefers "penetration specialist and cat herder" CURRENT RESIDENCE. verse-dependent. primarily new york, new york or tokyo, japan. CLOSE FRIENDS. all of the members of dedsec, @bloodfcst, @fearsworn, @ruthlessmeans, @shadowtongued, @anaireach (cough) RELATIONSHIP STATUS. verse-dependent. usually single and ready to completely avoid any attempt at forming serious emotional relationships until he accidentally catches The Feelings, though sometimes he's married to @ncshimuri FINANCIAL STATUS. upper-middle. DRIVER’S LICENSE. full, though living in tokyo/new york mean a car can be more of a hindrance than a benefit. he's taken some advanced driving courses, stunt driving, since he thought it’d be useful (it is). CRIMINAL RECORD. that he's been charged with? nothing. otherwise: classified global security data theft, enterprise trade secret theft, persona data hacking, copyright violation, illegal weapon trafficking, password trafficking, credit card theft and fraud, email phishing, domain name hijacking, virus spreading, dos attacks, identity theft, financial extortion, coercion, blackmail, assault, homicide, arson, destruction of property, breaking and entering, tax fraud, obstruction of justice— the list goes on. VICES. drinking, a stimulant problem in his early twenties (adderall, cocaine), a compulsion to find information and rip systems apart, and rough sex as a substitute for emotional closeness
𝐬𝐞𝐱 & 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 !
SEXUAL ORIENTATION. homosexual ROMANTIC ORIENTATION. he's gay folks PREFERRED EMOTIONAL ROLE. Submissive | Dominant | Switch PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE. Submissive | Dominant | Switch LIBIDO. varies. he's generally low maintenance unless he's especially stressed out, in which case he tends to go far out of his way to frequently engage in rough "I don't want to think right now" sex with the closest available dangerous-looking person. TURN ON’S. a little bit of a sadist. really drills down on the verbal aspect of sex; absolutely adores dirty talk and loves to watch his partner squirm. say his name. tell him how much you like it. he's big on power and being in control, more than a little possessive, and even if he's not topping (because the semantics of penetration aren't really something he's concerned with) he's an aggressive power bottom. brat. it's not that he dislikes being submissive, it's that he's so obsessed with control that he only gives it up if he really trusts you--- and if he does, james loves nothing more than letting you have your way. secretly wants someone he trusts to put him in a nice collar. TURN OFF’S. bathroom stuff. he dislikes dedsec calling him dad, he sure as fuck doesn't want to hear it in bed. otherwise he's pretty flexible. LOVE LANGUAGE. quality time and physical touch. if james loves you, he makes time to give you his undivided attention. RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES. james is gooey soft for his partners, thinks they're the sun and the moon and his whole goddamn world, and he will do anything for them. he tends to know his partners better than they know themselves and in his pragmatic way, anticipates problems or things they might have and try to avoid or acquire them before they even realize it's needed. he'll idly find his hands in their hair or against their hips, snatching pieces of physical affection wherever he can, smiling easily, giving a teasing little remark. under that frigid "don't touch me" is someone who wants to touch and be touched so badly.
𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 !
CHARACTER’S THEME SONG. a beginner's guide to destroying the moon - foster the people and orca - wintersleep HOBBIES TO PASS TIME. hacking. if it involves taking something apart or figuring out how something works, james has done it. every electronic he owns has been dissected and modified by him, and bug bounties are a common time waster. he's also into video games, preferring grand strategy and rts, though dedsec has gotten him into party games as well. rubix cubes. puzzles. anything to make him think. MENTAL ILLNESSES. ptsd as a result of what he experienced and did in his early twenties, which manifests in nightmares and dissociative episodes. chronic insomnia, and an acute paranoia. PHYSICAL ILLNESSES. none. PHOBIAS. a deep-rooted fear of abandonment that paradoxically makes him push people away— you can't abandon what you were never close to to begin with. also gets acutely stressed whenever he has to stand in view of a window, a fear of snipers drilled into him thanks to some trauma from his early criminal days SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL. definitely too high, bordering on arrogance— and even when james isn't sure of himself, he knows how to act the part. not to say he's immune to moments of crippling self-doubt but they become less and less common as he ages. VULNERABILITIES. even with his workout regime, james is smaller and weaker than most people— a fact that always sits at the back of his mind, and leads to him being the type to always be ready to react to someone coming at him. he also doesn't really know how to improvise until his late twenties, meaning if someone can get ahead of him, they tend to be able to take that and run with it. and while he doesn't get attached easily, when he does, james won't hesitate to throw pretty much anything (including his life) away to protect them.
tagged by: @agonybow and @garrotejima! <3 tagging: just steal it

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The first rule of Fight Club is: A member may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
The second rule of Fight Club is: A member must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the first rule.
ship im pretty sure youre thinking of robot rules not fight club rules
no the First Law of Robotics is: you do not talk about robotics
i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream