50 layers of ogre

the entire staff at arby’s when i come back for the fifth time that day

i got centipedes, got a lotta centipedes, got a lotta people tryna take away my centipedes

in case you guys wanna know what modern high school dances are like, at mine despacito came on and everyone t-posed around this one kid as he fortnite danced like his life depended on it

Elf racism will begin this week

Sidequest added: Fuck your wife.

SCIENCE

you also forget to factor in he can punch through trees, cave walls, survive splashing into water at heights that would normally kill a man and swim up water falls

Now there’s a real man.

this is literally my favourite post about minecraft ever

Holy fuck Steve…

And he can kill zombies with his bare hands, murder pigs with no weapon, and destroy literally every solid except for bedrock with his fucking fists. Like, you don’t understand how destructive this man can be. HE CAN JUMP OFF OF BUILDINGS AND BREAK HIS FUCKING LEGS BUT ONCE HE TAKES A BITE OUTTA THAT DAMN PIE HE’S GOOD TO FUCKING GO. THIS MAN IS A FUCKIN  C H A M P

he can also eventually punch through fUCKIN OBSIDIAN WITHOUT HIS FIST GETTING HURT (it’s volcano glass) AND HE CAN SURVIVE BEING LITERALLY RIGHT NEXT TO LAVA?????

Also he never drinks water…

I really tried to scroll past this but here we are

omfg

slam me in that Showert Deluxe… get me an omniwash™

this is a carwash for people

I hear if you turn them all on at once you can use the water pressure to glitch past the boss room

You fucker