softmochi

you are cunning

you are ambitious

you are sly

you are unmannerly

you are self preserved

you are selfish

-but you are also honest

you are naive

you are poised

you are modest

you are amiable

you are defiant

your room was neatly arranged

paintings of faraway seas glistening in the sun

the fairy lights hung up on your wall flickered like they were blinking

books, neatly stacked in the corner

not one thing out of place

maybe you took comfort in knowing that at least you could act like a whole

it’s hard saying.

hello

it’s hard saying.

see you later

but it’s the hardest saying.

i stand up straighter

a wreath of laurel leaves encasing my head

but no matter what i have

a crown

a kingdom

a castle

im holding up the sky alone

flying too close to the sun

now my wings have melted

you were drowning in your mind

tears strangling you with poisonous speculations

i could’ve helped

the sedatives help, you say

she needs them, the doctor says

but it’s making you worse

everything i say is wrong

everything i say makes you cry

you fell in love with white poison

leaves pressed within the heavy pages of a book.

flowers with a salty tang, blossoming on paper airplanes.

shattered glass, on a grey sky,

and,

you

me

us

we were in neverland

us

you

me

the record scratches and stops

and

in that moment, the world halts;

a bullet slows it’s pace centimeters away from a target

then, a new disc is put in

i was fire, raging

                    unrelenting

you were the ocean, calm

                    unforgiving

i thought you had come to relieve me from this hell