0p055UM @wci

He received no acknowledgement - only cold silence.

It was at that moment that Zoro decided to enter, pausing at the threshold when he noticed the scene before him. "What's going on?"

"Stay out of this, moss-head." The cook shot back, refusing to take his eyes off of the woman in the kitchen.

Nami and Usopp sniffed out the drama hours ago, sat at the back of the room watching it unfold as if it were peak entertainment. They beckoned the swordsman over, eager to gossip about the situation Sanji had gotten himself into. “He’s being punished.” Usopp explained, sipping on a lemonade as he watched.

“Why?”

Nami gave a cool smile, crossing a leg over her knee. “Because he’s an idiot.” Her smile only grew when the cook shot a glare over his shoulder. “He flirted with a waitress in town.”

“I was not flirting!” Sanji insisted. “I swear, I wasn’t!”

“Oh, excuse me,” Nami rolled her eyes, “he accidentally flirted with a waitress in the town.”

“I told him that ‘charm’ would bite him in the ass one day.” Usopp chuckled, paying no mind to the gesture Sanji sent his way.

“My love, please, there’s no need to take such drastic measures—”

“—Drastic?!” (Y/N) seethed, grabbing a knife.

Zoro tensed, wondering what the hell she was going to do with it. “Um… so what exactly is the punishment?”

“I’m calling it ‘culinary torture’.” Usopp answered, drink forgotten as the drama finally started up. “He’s locked out of the kitchen.”

“Darling, please, what are you— THAT IS A BREAD KNIFE! YOU CAN’T USE IT TO CUT MEAT!”

“Oh, I didn’t realise you were in charge of my free will.” (Y/N) sassed, using the knife with more force as she sliced through a chicken breast with added fervour.

“Did someone say meat?” Luffy appeared, smile stretched wide. “What’s for dinner?”

“Chicken.” (Y/N) replied.

“No, my love, please don’t— you’re supposed to cut against the grain. The texture—!”

“—Be quiet, Sanji.” She spat, dropping the meat into the nearest pan.

“That’s a SAUCEPAN! It’s for sauces — you can’t cook chicken in that!” The cook exclaimed, a face of horror overtaking him as he gripped his hair in both hands.

Luffy sat down with the others, beyond confused. “What’s going on?”

“Sanji’s being punished.” Zoro mused.

“Oh, okay.”

“What are you doing now?” Sanji asked, his voice shaking with dread.

“Pasta.” Replied (Y/N), seconds before they heard snapping and a cry from the chef.

“NO! DID YOU REALLY JUST SNAP SPAGHETTI?!”

“Did you really call that girl ‘beautiful’ in front of me?” (Y/N) scoffed as she filled another pan with boiling water.

“I was truly only being nice—”

“And I truly don’t care.”

“You are the only woman I have eyes for! IS THAT MAYONNAISE?!”

“And what about the woman at the market? You certainly had eyes for her.” (Y/N) turned up the heat, determined to overcook the spaghetti just the right amount.

“It was an accidental wink.”

“A wink, nonetheless.” (Y/N) strained the pasta and added it to the now cooked chicken, then reached for the spice rack.

A weak gasp escaped the man, a hand brought to his chest to clutch his heart. “Mon amor, I am begging you, don’t.”

It was all the motive she needed.

A large sprinkle of oregano would finish the dish off nicely.

“PLEASE, this has gone too far!” Sanji cried, face pale as a pained sound escaped him as she continued to sprinkle the herb in. He was doing his very best not to let his tears fall.

"You know what? I think I'm going to add some prawns."

"With chicken??"

"And how about a nice cheese sauce?" She pondered aloud, grabbing a frying pan and adding her ingredients.

"You can't make sauce in a frying pan!"

"And you can't accept your fate." (Y/N) shrugged him off, grabbing the bread knife and some garlic.

Finally, Sanji began to cry. "No! Stop! You don't chop garlic-- stop using the bread knife! Please!"

She blocked out his pleads and gasps of horror, continuing with her preparations as the rest of the crew watched in amusement. Before they knew it, dinner was served and Sanji was forced to watch as their friends ate without complaint.

The cook was served last. His plate was gracelessly dropped in front of him and (Y/N) sat herself down at the opposite end of the table, daring him to complain. The crew watched the interaction in silence, bets made and breaths held. With wet eyes, Sanji looked up to her pleadingly, but was disappointed to find the heartbreak on his face had no effect.

Finally, the man accepted his fate. He grabbed his cutlery, only to pause.

The knife and fork were at the wrong side.

The minx knew exactly how to get under his skin. And perhaps there was something thrilling about that; though, he could never admit it.

Sanji was at least wise enough to say nothing about the intentional mix-up. He swapped the cutlery to the correct hands, took a breath, and prepared himself to eat the monstruosity before him.

The spaghetti was lathered in a creamy cheese sauce at the centre of the plate -- half the size that it ought to be and not cooked al dente, as it should be. A mix of chicken and shrimp (a blasphemous combination) sat on top, in a buttery sauce of chopped garlic and oregano. No one else seemed to notice, but the chicken was too tough, a result of being cut with the grain.

To anyone else, it was a decent meal. But to Sanji -- a chef with a passion for culinary rules and refined senses for taste and texture -- it was all wrong. She broke every rule. And she knew it.

Obediently, Sanji brought a forkful to his lips, doing his best to keep a straight face as he chewed. Nami discreetly passed some cash to Usopp under the table.

Dinner was mostly silent as their friends watched the interaction, whispering between each other. This could very well be the highlight of their week; a drama they'd be bringing up for years.

He'd barely gotten halfway through the dish when he simply couldn't stand it any longer. He dropped the cutlery and pressed his face into his hands. "(Y/N), mon amor, I am sorry. I swear to you, the flirting was completely unintentional. I was only being nice--"

Nami audibly sucked in a breath, Usopp squeezed his eyes together, and even Zoro shook his head. Yep, he was fucked.

"Sanji, you really ought to learn the difference between being nice and being a flirt." (Y/N) glared at him, slowly cutting into her pasta with her knife and fork, ignoring the pained tensing of his jaw.

"I know that." He admitted defeat. "And I swear to you, I will not make that mistake again. And I will spend however long it takes making it up to you."

It was then that the others finally felt like they were intruding on this lovers' quarrel and not watching a scripted drama.

(Y/N) put down her cutlery and faced him fully, lips pursed and eyes steady, giving him a scathing look. She would forgive him, of course, but he would certainly feel her wrath for days to come. "You're cleaning up."

"Of course." Sanji conceded.

"I'm making breakfast tomorrow."

He ducked his head and sucked in a breath, but nodded anyway. "Alright."

"And from now on, the only person you will flirt with is me."

"Absolutely."

There was a silence again as everyone deciphered if it was safe.

Luffy, with his clean plate pushed aside, was the first to speak. "So... what's for desert?"

"Chocolate sauerkraut cake."

"Darling, PLEASE--"

•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•

Sanji, the whole time:

Poor thing needs at least 5 cigarettes at the end of dinner.

•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•

Please tell me what you think - I’m an approval driven hoe I swear :(