Wants vs needs
Not today Justin

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@0lumej
Wants vs needs

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love triangles can’t exist without at least 1 lgbt person. cishets just don’t know how shapes work
I’ve created this helpful info graphic
Most of the characters that people call a love triangle is really just a love corner. And the woman is usually backed into it.
Reblogging for the last comment
It would be nice to be able to actually see the night sky again.
things that made me stop wanting to die that require no effort whatsoever
change the color used to highlight text on your laptop
move the pictures on your wall
stack whatever clutter is in your room into piles even if you don’t have time to clean it all
slightly vary your commute, even just by one street
change where you sit and scroll aimlessly on your phone even if it’s only to the chair in your room instead of your bed
drink water or juice out of a wine glass in the morning because nothing is real
shower with the lights off, without music
buy $3 flowers at trader joe’s—they look bad next to the more expensive ones but they look so good in your room
start typing things you don’t post into your notes. your thoughts can be worth documenting even if you don’t deem them worth sharing
wake up super early just once. you don’t have to make it a habit it’s just extra satisfying to go to bed that night
listen to the entirety of your favorite album from 2015
Almost all of these are about variety. Humans need stimulation! We need enrichment! We literally cannot do the same thing every day!
The other day I was feeling miserable, so I hopped on a bus and rode it all the way back to where I’d started, and my brain, which had finally had some proper stimulation via new environments, was suddenly ready to go again!
This is why taking walks/drives and trying new hobbies are good for you! Don’t turn yourself into a sad zoo animal! You need some pumpkins to roll around in your enclosure!
ITS BACK!!!!!
god i fucking love the quote “dont turn yourself into a sad zoo animal” it has really inspired me!
What really fucks me up about a 40 hour work week and I’ve tried to explain to people over and over is that like of you do the math you have maybe 3 hours every day to just like. Rest and be with your family. And that’s kind of it
Like the average adult needs about 8 hours of sleep every night, so that cuts your 24 hours to 16 right off the bat.
You’re working for 8 hours, so 8 left.
But you actually work 8 to 5 at most offices, not 9 to 5, and that lunch is basically just long enough to retrieve food and eat. 7.
It took you 20 minutes to shower this morning, 10 to get dressed, and 45 to make a bowl of oatmeal and eat it. We’ll say 15 to get your stuff together and out to your car. 5 and a half.
You get home and have to cook dinner, 30 minutes min for that, probably more like an hour, so somewhere between 5 and 4.5 hrs left. And then you’ve got to eat it, 30 minutes if you’re being healthy about it.
So at best you’ve MAYBE got 4/4.5 hours left every week day and that’s assuming you ran exactly zero errands, didn’t stop by the gym after work, didn’t have to stay late, have a wicked fast transition time between tasks AND a commute of like 5 minutes by car. If you have to go to the store after a quick run at the gym, pick your kids up from soccer across town, and you factor in a 30 minute commute both ways, you’ve got enough free time for like one episode of show Monday through Friday. And weekends have got to be for cleaning the house and going to visit your mom for a few hours.
When do you write, or paint, or read or sew or go on hikes? When do you go on spur of the moment adventures with your wife and try to perfect your grandma’s soda bread? What happens when it rains on Saturday after being sunny all the rest of the week so you can’t go to the zoo that day and you don’t have enough money for the museum? Why are we all just content to postpone our whole lives, put off “happy” and “healthy” for a miniscule amount of extra value we’re producing for someone else?
And it’s also a thing that fascinates me about hustle culture like. When do y'all rest? When do sleep and food happen? How do you make 3 different jobs work without dying?
Idk idk like I said I’m real fucked up about it. It amazes me that more office workers aren’t great big socialists because we have this miserable job where we’re monitored constantly and just have to sit. Still. And maintain focus on ONE THING for EIGHT HOURS in a BORING GRAY ROOM with exactly two short breaks at designated times and I just?? How does that not suck for literally everyone else?? You said yourself, Angie, you’re useless after 3 pm so just?? Organize with me and negotiate for shorter days??? Like you’re literally already only producing 6 hours of value, you don’t need to be sitting there for longer than that.
…then add the Neurodivergent Tax of taking more time to do these things and recovery time afterward, and you’re looking at a deficit that has to come from somewhere

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I was just about to spiral into a bad panic attack, and my boyfriend goes "Stick an ice cube in your mouth." I'm not really sure where he got the idea, and I kinda laughed at it because I didn't see how it would help, but he was insistent. So I did it.
And now I'm on my second cube, because it worked.
He explained his reasoning to me when he got home.
1. I would initially think "what the fuck" and be distracted from the anxiety. (Correct.)
2. The cold of the ice would shock my system, bringing me back to the physical world and reality, drawing my focus to the cold in my mouth, and keep my brain away from thinking "I'm panicking, I must be dying." (Correct.)
3. He assumed I hadn't drank much water today and wanted to keep me hydrated. (Triple correct.)
It also forced your mouth to make saliva!
When you go into fight or flight mode, non-crucial body functions stop working so you have more energy to do what you need to do to survive (oooor to spiral into a panic attack). By forcing yourself to make saliva it helps calm you down because since fight or flight is an all or nothing response, they can’t happen at the same time.
Learned that from my old therapist, who would use it with veterans with ptsd
It was kind of interesting to me that out of all the people in our training group, the ones that were the quickest to form social bonds were the people from way out in the country and the city people just kind of quietly kept to themselves.
But I was definitely accepted as one of the bumpkins.
Oh! This is actually an example of Rural vs Urban manners.
In rural/less densely populated areas, the polite thing is to offer people your time and social energy which is why country people will talk your ear off at the slightest acquaintence- it's kind of lonely when you have to make an effort to see people, so you Make An Effort (TM)
In Urban/Densely populated areas, you're meeting people whether you want to or not, because you are physically close to each other constantly. So the Polite Thing there is to kind of ignore other people and keep strictly to business, so you're not imposing upon thier (probably already drained) soical spoons.
The city folks will warm right up to you once they get to know you well enough to know that talking to you won't piss you off.
A spider in my bedroom.
Une araignée dans ma chambre.
A Twitter Thread from David Bowles:
[Text transcript at the end of the screenshots]
I'll let you in on a secret. I have a doctorate in education, but the field’s basically just a 100 years old. We don’t really know what we’re doing. Our scholarly understanding of how learning happens is like astronomy 2000 years ago.
Most classroom practice is astrology.
This has been going around my work and friend group on other platforms, and I thought it deserved a place here too.

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What we’re reading, Michael Dumontier & Neil Farber
Jon Adams
Several weeks ago, I was reading a post someone made online about how they were never much of a picture-taker until they lost a loved one, and how now they wish they had more photos of them to look back on.
A few days after reading that post, my cat died.
She was old, but it's still raw. But I have over 400 pictures of her, over 50 videos, probably even more that are lost somewhere in the depths of cloud storage and old hard drives that I can dig up one day. I was never much of a picture-taker either when I was younger, but somewhere along the line I guess I realized their value and started snapping away. Any time I saw her doing something funny, or looking cute, or even just existing, I took out my phone and got some pictures. And now I have over seven years of memories saved up, stored away, there to comfort me any time my grief becomes too much to handle. I'm using these photos to construct a photo book of all the best memories I have of her, so that I'll never forget her no matter what.
Take photos, guys. Even if they're crappy amateurish photos, take them. Your photos are your memories, free from the errors that naturally accumulate in your brain over time. Take them, so that in the moment you can have fun, and in the long run you can reminisce. You won't regret taking those photos, but you will regret not taking them. You'll thank your past self.
My mom was always the one taking photos. We have very few pictures of her. Most as part of a group photo.
Only her voice off-screen in videos, or a glimpse in passing windows and mirrors - a reflection of her observing us and preserving us.
After she passed, every tiny fragment of her image became valuable.
Take pictures of your loved ones. Take selfies with them. You’ll thank yourself later
some people were asking for actual advice and i can never pass up an opportunity to procrastinate so here’s just a couple of things i always need to remind myself of…now back to my paper :(
If you plan to grow an oak, you need to take the acorn seriously.
If you plan to grow contentment, you need to take your moments seriously.

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Don't forget you have none of the benefits of wetland plants (cooling, regulated evaporation, food and habitat for wildlife), when the canals go stagnant they breed tons more mosquitoes because they don't support the amphibians that eat them, it's no longer an accessible water source for bigger wildlife, storm water is faster and more dangerous in a straight channel than in a natural stream, the concrete and the speed prevent water from infiltrating into the soil and maintaining the aquifer... I could go on.
when i was a teenager it felt very revolutionary to be cruel to myself. like some kind of slow passive protest against how much everything hurt. i starved myself of sleep and food and tenderness because it felt right. it felt sharp and angry and radical and i wanted to be those things. adulthood is the realisation that the world is already working to cut into you well before you learn how to do it yourself. caring for yourself and others is the real protest
Michelle K, I Know I Deserve More