liv 🐚🪰

Hello from the President of Ralmon 🦎🍊

“the mask was a thing on its own, behind which jack hid, liberated from shame and self-consciousness.”

jack merridew remains a brutal reminder: seeing myself in elaborate masks and stifled tears, in guilt turned to rage, in shame turned to aggression.

my choice in portrayal of jack as blond rather than book-accurate is mainly in relation to my own sun-colored curls and songs sung in high keys. derived from the subconscious starvation of being “man enough,” these qualities are often my most insecurity-inducing. i see this mirrored in fair hair slicked black with mud and a soprano voice that cannot easily threaten. the effort to eradicate gentleness that is carved into your image is a futile battle.

jack merridew gets a piercing from roger

in the book, when piggy dies, ralph is forced to flee even though he is horrified and devastated by what has happened. he can’t save him and he can’t give him any dignity in death. piggy’s body is simply lost, which makes the collapse of civilisation feel complete. in the bbc series, though, ralph uses every ounce of his remaining strength to try to get him out of there so his death can be more dignified. earlier in the series ralph asks, “do we bury him first?” when they find that dead pilot. he cares, nurses, and comforts. the whole scene with him bandaging up piggy, caring for him, risking his life to get water for him makes me think of the quote:

“a healed femur is the earliest sign of true civilisation,” by anthropologist, margaret mead, who was asked, “what is the earliest sign of civilisation?” the student expected her to say a clay pot, a grinding stone, or maybe a weapon […] a healed femur shows that someone cared for the injured person, did their hunting and gathering, stayed with them, and offered physical protection and human companionship until the injury could mend (passage by ira byock)