Christine's World

-Kelly Hicks via Facebook

Christine loved credits on movies and shows. This is the photo that was taken when she went to the movies.

Acorns Christine’s favourites when she was little .

New Post has been published on https://www.theautismdad.com/2019/10/09/autism-and-incontinence-an-unspoken-dilemma/

#Autism and Incontinence: An Unspoken Dilemma

As a parent of a child that falls on the autism spectrum, you’re already facing some unique challenges related to social interaction, sensory issues, behavior, and more. Additionally, children with autism are more likely to experience incontinence that lasts well past potty-training age, making everything a bit messier, figuratively and literally. However, there are a few simple ways to manage the added stress while keeping your child comfortable, dry, and sanitary. 

Incontinence is simply the involuntary control of urinary loss or defecation. Children may experience leaks, accidentally void the bladder, wet the bed, and more.

When it comes to autism and incontinence, children may have learning disabilities that delay toilet training, physical disabilities that prevent them from reaching the toilet in time, or the inability to communicate the need to go. 

In some cases, incontinence can be treated and children are able to potty train successfully. But in other cases, the symptoms can only be managed. Your child may have a few sensory issues to overcome in the bathroom or a physical disability that prevents bladder control. 

That’s why it’s crucial to work with your child’s pediatrician to determine the cause and to put a treatment plan together for your child’s individual needs. 

Stressors With Incontinence 

Incontinence isn’t really discussed very often due to the stigma attached. It’s embarrassing to have accidents. Not only do children want to avoid letting others know, but so do the parents. This often leads to anxiety and an attempt to hide the issue instead of seeking help and learning proper management techniques. 

For example, if you explain your child’s condition to their teachers, they’ll be prepared and able to help during the school day by: 

Reminding your child to take bathroom breaks 

Allowing your child to go to the restroom when needed 

Letting your child sit near the restroom 

Developing private code words for needing to use the restroom or accidents 

Assisting with cleanups and changing if an accident occurs 

Helping keep the condition under wraps 

Another stressor with incontinence includes becoming depressed and withdrawn. Your child may not want to participate in social activities such as field trips and sleepovers.

However, with the proper incontinence supplies, your child can confidently maintain their normal routine. It’s important for items to be comfortable, odor-proof, and leak-proof. It’s also helpful for the items to be discreet by looking like regular underwear and easy for the child to pull on and remove on their own. 

The cost of high-quality incontinence products to stop leaks and prevent odors can be prohibitively high, especially for families on a budget. The cost of pull-ups, wet wipes, chux, and more can quickly add up, causing financial stress on the family. 

But your child may qualify to receive incontinence supplies through insurance. Medicaid often covers a certain amount of products on a monthly basis as incontinence items are classified as a medical necessity. 

The process of receiving items is fairly easy, just remember that you will be required to receive your items through a durable medical equipment (DME) provider. With a reputable supplier, you’ll apply online, a rep with contact you with the best options suited for your child’s individual needs, and they’ll submit all of the necessary paperwork to have incontinence supplies shipped to your home every month. 

Another frustrating part of incontinence includes the amount of time involved with toilet training. Getting your child out of diapers or teaching them to help manage their own symptoms takes daily attention. Figuring out the sensory issues that trigger avoidance, such as seeing their reflection or the loud flush of the toilet, setting up a reward system for accident-free days, figuring out what food/drinks contribute to accidents… it’s a lot of hands-on work. 

But working with your child to solve these issues is the only way to reduce symptoms and boost confidence. Remember to avoid reacting to accidents with visible stress and anger. This could make symptoms worse. 

Just like the other daily challenges you face with your child’s autism, remember to be positive and supportive. Motivate your child to work towards a better tomorrow. With patience and persistence, incontinence won’t derail your child’s normal routine. 

This is a contributed post and therefore may not necessarily represent the views or opinions of this blog or its author.

New Post has been published on https://www.theautismdad.com/2019/10/08/if-i-had-hair-id-be-pulling-it-out-2/

If I had hair, I’d be pulling it out

I’m already stressed out about my doctor’s appointment this morning and the kids have been at each other’s throats since waking up. That’s just adding to the stress.

I don’t know what’s going on with the kids today but they’re a handful and that’s saying something.

While I’m frustrated, I’m so proud and grateful that both went to school without any resistance. That makes life so easier. I have a few appointments today that I would have to miss if anyone came home or didn’t go in the first place.

For right now, I just want to get though this first appointment and move on to the next.

Ok that's cool! I didn't know she was autistic! Also, she has a tumblr! @leftatlondon

‘I love you so much! You’re so precious and I support you!’ when I…

Flap my hands

Happy dance

Watch children’s shows

Love stuffed animals

Curl up in blankets

Only like to eat 5 foods

Have an odd speech pattern

Am shy

‘You need to stop. That’s annoying/weird/rude’ when I…

Have a meltdown 

Get overstimulated

Don’t look people in the eyes

Feel frustrated because I am overwhelmed by somebody’s emotions

Wear earplugs

Tell you being touched makes me uncomfortable

Talk about my special interest

Occasionally say things that are rude because I don’t know better

Can’t read your mind and know you’re feeling

Cry because I feel overwhelmingly guilty because you’re yelling at me (Bonus points if you never told me that what I’m doing upsets you)

Can never act the same around you or trust you because you didn’t tell me upfront, yelled at me and chewed me out often times for something insignificant

Ask to be left alone

Feel overwhelmed

Stim

The truth is, I often times feel humiliated and embarrassed by my childish actions and interests. I am unable to be myself in front of others because I’m afraid of being made fun of for my interests, and I am criticized when I show any negative symptom or behaviors.  My wish for the future is that we begin to recognize that Autism isn’t your ‘uwuwu soft space girl/boy’, it’s a real condition that makes lives very hard for people. Just as you are all different, we are all very different too and I want more than anything in the world to fit in.  I’m tortured by my childish behaviors, the fact that I’m not a super genius, and I struggle with making friends. Recognizing our struggles and working to destroy the box we’re put in is the first step towards change. 

This sounded very angry, I’m sorry. I love you all!

New Post has been published on https://www.theautismdad.com/2020/01/10/surviving/

Surviving

It was decided by all involved to keep Emmett home from school yesterday and today. We have documentation and the school is aware of everything that’s going on. They’ve been very supportive and I can’t say how appreciative of that I am.

Emmett is not in a good place emotionally and his meds were updated Wednesday, which is part of the reason for staying home. He’s still doing his class work and the goal is to return on Monday, with a new support plan in place at school. Again, they’ve been so supportive throughout this whole thing.

It was a really rough night because Emmett had nightmares all night long. He didn’t sleep well and I was up with him on and off all night long.

It took some doing to get myself moving this morning but I’m feeling pretty good at the moment.

Gavin’s IVIG Infusion is already done and I have 2 work related meetings this morning and then I’m done for the most part. I have to finish today’s podcast episode and get it published. Like I said, I’ve been consumed with some of these challenges my kids are dealing with right now and I fell a bit behind.

My goal is to publish either today or tomorrow at the latest. I have more interviews scheduled for next week and I don’t want to get any further behind.

I also need to work on some of the logistics for the Florida trip. These guys are really looking forward to it. I need to setup boarding for Ruby, make hotel reservations for the way down and back but I also need to put together a reasonable budget for the trip as well. That’s very challenging, especially considering I having a hard time getting any work done because of all that’s going on right now.

Anyway, I’m really hoping to help Emmett feel better sooner than later because he’s so miserable right now and it’s pretty much got him frozen in place. I need to get him moving forward, so he can begin to heal.

New Post has been published on https://www.theautismdad.com/2019/12/10/being-a-single-parent-to-3-autistic-kids-is-not-easy-but-it-is-worth-it/

Being a single parent to 3 #Autistic kids is NOT easy but it IS worth it

I’ve spent the day trying to get a million things done and accomplishing very little. When you’re a single parent to 3 kids, life doesn’t leave you much wiggle room. When you’re a single parent to 3 Autistic kids, there’s even less wiggle room. When you’re a single parent to 3 Autistic kids and 2 of them are sick at the same time, you begin to question if there’s even a God.

Anyway, I’ve been planning for a couple of podcast interviews and closing out the season. I’m hoping 2020 is a year of growth for the pod. I’m getting more and more work as an influencer and it’s helping to pay the bills. I’m apparently listed in a bunch of databases like https://findyourinfluence.com/the-platform/ and brands find me and reach out. It’s kinda cool and I’m hoping to leverage this to help the podcast grow.

Speaking of podcast, I’m loving my new hosting service. I recently moved from Anchor to Captivate and I LOVE IT.

One of the things I wish I could find is something like Best Central Location Test but specifically for podcasts. Being able to get constructive feedback would be very helpful.

I have also been dealing with some insurance stuff, and I needed to do some good old fashioned internet research, using sites like https://spectrumhealthcare.com/. Do you remember how hard research was before the internet? I know it can still be a pain but life is so much now.

I did manage to get most of what I needed to get done for the kids, done today. That’s not a bad thing but it came at the expense of other things I needed to get done as well. It’s so challenging because when you’re a single parent, there’s’ no such thing as divide and conquer anymore. It really an exhausting, frustrating and overwhelming experience but it’s also totally worth it.

It is amazing how Christine was so different when she was little. She was full of life and very energetic. She spent hours on her bike always moving around climbing trees and running.

Now she is the complete opposite. Some say it autism, some say it was the medication she was taking, Some say it was mum dying. But I am not sure.

On this day 5 years ago. Christine shaving her hair being with Mummy. Katerina was diagnosed with stage 4 Bladder Cancer on the 25th of April 2015.

‘I love you so much! You’re so precious and I support you!’ when I…

Flap my hands

Happy dance

Watch children’s shows

Love stuffed animals

Curl up in blankets

Only like to eat 5 foods

Have an odd speech pattern

Am shy

‘You need to stop. That’s annoying/weird/rude’ when I…

Have a meltdown 

Get overstimulated

Don’t look people in the eyes

Feel frustrated because I am overwhelmed by somebody’s emotions

Wear earplugs

Tell you being touched makes me uncomfortable

Talk about my special interest

Occasionally say things that are rude because I don’t know better

Can’t read your mind and know you’re feeling

Cry because I feel overwhelmingly guilty because you’re yelling at me (Bonus points if you never told me that what I’m doing upsets you)

Can never act the same around you or trust you because you didn’t tell me upfront, yelled at me and chewed me out often times for something insignificant

Ask to be left alone

Feel overwhelmed

Stim

The truth is, I often times feel humiliated and embarrassed by my childish actions and interests. I am unable to be myself in front of others because I’m afraid of being made fun of for my interests, and I am criticized when I show any negative symptom or behaviors.  My wish for the future is that we begin to recognize that Autism isn’t your ‘uwuwu soft space girl/boy’, it’s a real condition that makes lives very hard for people. Just as you are all different, we are all very different too and I want more than anything in the world to fit in.  I’m tortured by my childish behaviors, the fact that I’m not a super genius, and I struggle with making friends. Recognizing our struggles and working to destroy the box we’re put in is the first step towards change. 

This sounded very angry, I’m sorry. I love you all!

So poor Christine has no one in the world to help her and look after her. So even though my wife died, I have died 1,000 times being with Christine so she has a slim chance maybe surviving in this cruel and heartless world maybe for a few more years,

Leo Buscaglia (via 0words0with0some0meaning)

Day 41 - 23 December 2019

The message for today from Paul is “the platinum rule”

Being kind to your self is so important. Living with my autistic daughter is very challenging. I had to lose a lot of expectations for her and accept her as she is. I cannot control her behaviour and the more I accept that the more self respect I show my self. We really cannot control people and many things in our life. The only things we can do is our actions. Once we accept that we show great respect to ourselves and happiness follows.

Keep reading

(via 0my0weight0loss)

Living with Christine is not easy. I have learned to accept her weird behavior and trying to understand it.

She has barricaded her self in her room and I can’t open the door. I was told by a specialist that she want control who comes in her room. She then tells me open the door dad. I said I can’t and then she says use a screwdriver.