p o e t r y

I'm jealous.

Point blank. I'm jealous. I hate how much quality time she spends with them and not me.

I miss her all the time. I'm too much.

I hate them too. I hate how they're always passive aggressive. I hate how there's always something bothering them. I hate their humor. I hate how foul they fucking get sometimes and it's kinda triggering me now. WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS INTERRUPTING that's so fucking ugly in a person

I hate how it rubs off onto her and she interrupts often specially her mom

I hate then I hate them I hate them I hate them

I'm so jealous

I'm so jealous

Let me count

Monday -

Tuesday class dinner with dad

Wednesday class kiwi dnd

Thursday bus in the morning I don't remember the evening

That shit was so uncalled for

both are beautiful

happy days out

because i'm leaving this site for good

just want you to see that

from the very first post

to the last

you have changed S O INCREDIBLY MUCH

and Me writing this

is in such better situation

than the Me that hit the create blog button

in April of 2019

which is

a few months back

TIME CHANGES ALL

you will read things here

that might make you a bit uncomfortable

but it is worth once you're ready

because you realize how right you were

before having the knowledge you have now

and how little credit you gave yourself

and how according to your mindset

every one but you was right.

You love yourself now.

I hope that never changes.

pushing your back in the plane?

the force of the linear present is constantly pushing you into the future

peeking behind your shoulders

you're sitting still in your room, look around

the wholeness to come

but the world is currently turning

the clock hands of the 4th dimension are going ∞ km/h

There is absolutely

nothing

you can Do to stop it

close a door

change direction

stand still

sudden bathroom

stay in

stay home

don't come out

in your room

in your head

in your screen

secure

don't need you

don't need them

in this dark room and

the scariest thing in it is boiling in my head

being invented by my own insecurities

Won't you notice me here

Won't I make myself noticeable

Won't you be patient

Oh right

You can't be patient with which has not even happened yet

Will I learn to try,

Overcome the terror

Of

Exi

Existing

Taking up space

Being here, affecting things and people

I am a part of this environment