SAMUEL EARP

Today marks 3 months of my journey in recovery. To most that may seem like nothing but at 24 years old I am now for the first time able to get to know my real self. My mind and body have been fogged and my life had been a string of lies I told myself and others. Being physically addicted to alcohol was never my intention in life. For years waking up in the middle of the night needing a drink to fall asleep then again in the morning just to get myself out of bed to stop my tremors. I had to maintenance drink throughout the day to keep myself from withdrawing. When I didn’t have a drink I would be thinking of ways to get that next drink, it was always on my mind something I could not escape. Rehab didn’t help. I went then relapsed then again a detox then a self detox. I continued to drink. I never worked it. People in AA will always say “it works if you work it”. March 11th marks my sobriety date when I went into detox. I knew this time I could not go though this again. I was powerless over alcohol, my life had become unmanageable. My body was tired and sick. When going though detox I had seizures, severe tremors, I couldn’t even take my medicine and drink water without spilling it all over myself. Sleep paralysis was the worst alongside the sweating then being freezing for days. I lost so much weight because I wouldn’t eat for days at a time. When I got to rehab this time I  participated I went to my classes, I read the big book. I spoke, anything and everything to help me when I got out. In rehab you’re in this fishbowl that’s safe. In the real world you’re just an arms length away from a drink. Alcoholism is a Progressive disease that will only get worse. This disease Is patient and will wait for you to be broken and at your worst. Today through AA, my sponsor, and the 12 steps I’m able to start to feel a little bit more like myself again. I’ve hurt a lot of people and stolen so much time from family and friends. I can not undo what I’ve done but I can do it differently now.