today i broke down in tears. tears of loneliness, a desire for warmth, family, connectedness. i miss the good moments with my ex, i miss my loving and sweet family in ukraine, my grandfather and grandmother who will probably die of illness or the war before i get to see them ever again, i miss the concept of being surrounded by people who love me. i spend so much time alone it feels normal, inevitable, logical. i texted my mom, walked it off, returned to my room, trying to be gentle for myself. i feel horrible wasting a whole day of schoolwork because of this, although i know there’s no way of forcing myself in this condition. i tried coding but i’m just too frigging sad. every day feels the same.