it’s absolutely integral that people understand that it’s not unintentional that the prevailing mainstream understandings of “good” sex almost always feature a dominant man and submissive/powerless woman. it’s absolutely by design that women are encouraged to view sex and sexuality in terms of an often-violent exchange or relinquishing of power with/to a dominant or conquering force. this goes doubly for those also dealing with the fetishization of race, where the understanding is that natural sexuality will inherently follow imperialist ideology.

it’s possible for women to live their whole lives without challenging the expectations for their sexual expression. they never reclaim their sexuality in any meaningful way, living out decades as voyeurs to their own sexual experiences devoid of any authenticity of the self. it’s a tragedy, but when the social message is so clear and constant, that you do not exist for yourself, but for others, can we blame them for simply bowing their heads and remaining silent in an attempt to alleviate their suffering?

it’s actually good to desire intimacy and an emotional connection during sex and the act itself doesn’t actually have to be degrading or performative or leave you worrying about what angle your partner is seeing you from or whatever. like you are absolutely allowed to confidently assert your boundaries and only have exactly the kind of sex you want to have. you don’t have to buy into the idea that sex is somehow a performance for your partner.

just so we’re crystal clear the argument that kinks aren’t inherently sexual is a tool that is overwhelmingly used by predators and abusers to excuse or encourage the involvement of minors in kink. regardless of how ‘innocent’ the kink in question may seem, its exposure to minors or its aggressive marketing as ‘sfw’ or nonsexual easily becomes a cover for grooming or the progressive exposure to increasingly ‘nsfw’ or dangerous kinks

but yeah it does seem that most het men aren’t even attracted to women lol they find women in their natural state repulsive, they find the female body as it naturally exists repulsive and make all kinds of crude jokes about ugly vaginas etc even TO the women they date sometimes, but they are turned on by the power they can wield over women and that’s why they’re so attracted to hyperfemininity and sex dolls and hurting women, they’re attracted to dehumanization and degradation of women…male heterosexuality in our society is mostly sadism

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Being a bi aro sucks because I want boyfriend and girlfriend but also I want no boyfriend and no girlfriend