Gloomy goober and creepy cookie

"Are you going to Hawaii? Without me?!" Roman demands, eyeing Patton's– well, Hawaiian shirt he's donned on rather than his usual polo.

"Now, now Roman, this is nothing personal kiddo. I'm just taking some much needed me-time. So I'll need to take this journey alone."

"Oh thank God," Janus mutters while Logan blinks rapidly, flabbergasted. Logan spits out, "We are all personified pieces of one man's personality. By the nature of our existence, you can't be alone."

"That's quitter talk," Remus butts in. He literally turns and shows them his butt for some reason, though thankfully with pants still on. "Want me to yeet you out the door, Daddy-o? See how far you can go? Or maybe load you into a ballista and send you hurtling to a beautiful bludgeoning death?"

"No thanks, bud," Patton says far too good-naturedly. "Our dear lord in Heaven gave me two perfectly good legs to walk with. I think I'll be fine."

"You're serious? Just– what, gonna walk out the door?" Virgil questions sharply. Skeptical he may be, he seems somewhat interested in seeing how far Patton will take this bit.

"Absolutely! There's a whole big wide world out there! So much to do! So much to see!"

"So what's wrong with taking the back steets," both Remus and Roman sing at the same time.

"You guys will be fine for a while without me. But just in case you miss me, I have provided each of you with your very own Patton Pal."

They each look down into their hands where a small, stuffed version of Patton materializes. It has stitched in glasses, a removable Cardigan, and its mouth is in the shape of a heart.

"What," they all respond collectively.

"If you feel lonely or need a hug, you just give your Patton Pal there a good ole squeeze! That should tide you over until I get back. Anyways, I'm gonna skeddadle now. Bye! Love you!"

And Patton walks out the front door.

Dad has left the building.

Roman ponders with pursed lips, "Sooo, did we just get abandoned?"

"Nah, I'm sure he's just gone out to pick up some milk."

"Thank you, Remus."

Virgil rises up from the couch and strides over to the door in a huff. "Alright Pat, you can come out now."

The door swings open. A brick wall is revealed where there once was not one.

"Uhhh, guys?" Virgil asks the group, stepping back. Unconsciously, he grips his Patton Pal a little tighter.

"What in the Chris Angel Mindfreak?" Remus questions and taps at the brick. His nail makes a scraping sound along the mortar. Curious, he examines his finger and licks it.

"Did he trap us in the Mindscape?" Roman asks, squeezing in between his brother to test the solidity of the wall. It is indeed a wall.

"Is this his villain origin story?"

Janus rolls his eyes at the twins. "Patton's just serious for a change, that's all. He doesn't want to be followed, and obviously he must be out hanging with Thomas. Really now, have some sense."

"You do know who you're talking to, right?" Virgil asks him waving at the twins, to which Janus gives a saucy, "Touche."

Logan sighs and begins ascending the stairs.

"What, you're just gonna leave too?" Virgil calls after him.

"I have work to do, as I'm sure the rest of you do. Patton will return once he tires of this stunt."

Logan is gone and now it's just the four of them.

"Someone's salty about being abandoned," Roman comments too loudly.

"FALSEHOOD!"

"Alllll byyyyy myseeeelffff," Remus sings off-key.

Virgil debates whether to follow Logan up or try a window next. He stares down into the beady, button eyes of his Patton Pal doll.

"Need a hug?" Janus asks him teasingly, watching him.

Virgil scoffs and shoves the plush into his hoodie pocket. It's bulky, but it fits.

Will it stay there?

Will Patton ever return?

Will the sides use this time to overcome their differences and bond as a true family?

Find out next time on "Episodes From The Mindscape"!

Logan presses into Virgil's space, rests his forehead to his, and lingers there to show Virgil he is savoring his presence.

But Virgil immediately runs a hand down his back and asks sweetly, "You okay, L?"

It would be frustrating if it wasn't so endearing.

"Why do you do that?" Logan asks. He has not been beating around metaphorical bushes. He has tested his hypothesis, discovered he is correct, and is ready to present his findings.

"Rub your back?" Virgil asks in bemusement.

Logan nearly shakes his head but doesn't want to dislodge himself from where they hover so close together. "No Virgil, that's not what I meant. I have found that whenever I initiate physical affection with you, you act as though something is concerning me. Perhaps I simply want to make you feel good."

"You...already do?" Virgil chuckles but it's more confused. "Where is this coming from?"

"I have been researching love languages recently. You excel at physical touch. Which is my preferred method."

"Thanks, I think."

"You're very welcome. It's not an issue, so much as an observation. It may be my love language, but I do not think that it is yours."

Virgil stares at him consideringly. His hand had paused in its rubbing but now it continues up his spine, almost lost in thought.

"Okay," he finally says, "I'll bite. What do you think my language is? Cuz if I know you, you've already got a guess."

Logans lips twitch upwards. "Yes, I do. Are you familiar with words of affirmation?"

"Affirmative."

"Then I would like to try that with you. It's not something we often indulge in. You've mentioned before how the feelings between us are an understood thing, and that is true and often more comfortable for us. But I think it leaves nuances to be desired."

"You gonna start talking about how much you love me?"

"Yes," Logan answers seriously to Virgil's teasing, which quiets him. Logan brings a hand up to trail down the side of Virgil's face. "I love you completely and ardently. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you and wish to be in your presence. You captivate me with your style, your kindness, your biting wit. I adore you."

Virgil swallows hard. His says somewhat shaky, a little breathless, "Okay, I think you made your point."

"Oh, I'm just getting started. I watch the way you walk like a man possessed. Your mouth renders me speechless in many ways." Here, Virgil practically squeaks in protest, face going red, but Logan soldiers on. "You pick up on things that I can't see, and you know me better than I know myself, which is something that I never could believe possible. But you do, because even when you say you don't care about things, you care deeply, and it's something that comes across in how you move, how you act. I know you have a bad habit of self-deprication, but Virgil– you are mesmerizing."

"Logan..." Virgil sighs, and it's a soft vulnerable thing. Logan clings to him more, nuzzling the bridge of their noses together.

"Is that it, my love? Can you not believe how high in my affections I hold you? Do you not believe that you deserve it? Because I would tell you every day that you do. You deserve this. You deserve to be cherished."

Logan moves into that fraction of space left and kisses his lips. He doesn't stop there. He kisses at the corners, his cheeks and chin, where his eyelashes flutter, over his brow and then some.

"You deserve this. You are brilliant, and you are mine, and you deserve all that I can give you."

To both of their astonishment, Virgil starts crying.

"Virgil?" Logan asks, taken aback. This is the exact opposite affect that he intended!

Virgil covers his face with his hands and sits there for a minute, shuddering silently. From his hidden position, he musters out, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry– it's just– it's not been the best day, and my anxiety's been all over the place and–"

"I made you stress," Logan realizes in horror. "I should be the one apologizing. I didn't notice that you were distressed. Virgil, I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?"

"It's not like I try to advertise it," Virgil mutters, smothering a small sob. He leans forward back into Logan's space and cuddles into his collar to more effectively hide his face. "And you're not stressing me out. Idiot."

"Then...what?"

"You can't just say things like that point blank and not KO a dude."

"So, to be clear, I should not apologize?"

"No, because you're being..."

"I'm being what?"

Virgil retracts his hands from where they are wedged, but doesn't move his face where it's pressed. He circles his arms around Logan's waist and holds him tightly.

"You're being really sweet," Virgil mumbles finally. "And I can't handle it. It's unfair."

"I feel as though I'm receiving mixed signals."

"Don't make me say it."

Logan ponders and eventually threads his fingers through purple tinged locks of hair. Virgil relaxes slowly.

"...you don't have to say anything. If you would like, I could say more about how much you deserve to be treated sweetly." Logan knows he's testing just a bit too much, but he thinks he understands what Virgil means, and if he's right...

Virgil whines into his chest and grips him harder.

Somehow, his parents still think he's an embarrassment to the family. They often compare him to his twin brother, Roman, who gained major success as a child actor.

It's not Roman's fault, and Roman tries, but there's an unresolved part of Remus that's jealous and wishes he had any attention at all.

Remus has been through a few roommates. They usually request a transfer the first month in. Either Remus is too crass or too loud or too nosey or too gross. Too much in general.

Remus doesn't know how else to be but himself. He's proud of who he is. Doesn't make it any less lonely or easy to make friends.

Remus has one singular friend. Janus who's not even a student at this college, but he does some work for some students for under-the-table pay. Otherwise known as plagiarizing papers for the tired or lazy masses.

Remus meets Janus because someone recommended him as a tutor. Janus never corrects him and continues tutoring him.

Beginning his third year of college in the dorms, Remus does not have high hopes for his new roomie. Mostly he is excited to see how long the new guy will last. Remus gets set up in the room first and waits for whenever his roomie will appear.

The new roomie is Virgil. He's an undecided major, wears an oversized hoodie, has anxiety out the wazoo, and is the cutest emo he has ever seen.

Remus has a type. His type is angry kitten. He does not realize he has a type until this moment. He kinda wants to really keep this one.

Virgil doesn't mind taking the leftover bed, so Remus doesn't have to move his stuff. Virgil's dad is also there to help his son move in. His dad is a therapist (psst, it's Emile), and is like the total opposite to his son in terms of attire and personality.

Virgil is also really close with his dad. It's clear as day in the way he waddles after him like a darkling duck while giving Remus apprehensive glances.

Remus tries to be on his best behavior, he really does. He offers to help them carry stuff, and Emile is delighted, and Remus cracks some jokes that they actually laugh at a couple of times.

Before Emil leaves, he asks Remus to take care of his son. Remus salutes him seriously and says it will be his honor.

As soon as the door closes, Virgil's timidness skyrockets. He admits that this is his first year living on campus and without his dad. Even though Emile promised he's only a phone call away and he doesn't live that far, it's still a lot for a kid to be thrust out of the nest.

Remus cheers him up by asking if he wants to see his bone collection. Yes, you heard him right. He collects bones of dead things. They're stored under his bed which he affectionately refers to as the boneyard.

Virgil rolls with it. He lets Remus chatter, and he doesn't interrupt him. Remus thinks he doesn't know what to say to break the ice, so Remus smashes all the ice for him.

Remus learns that despite this being Virgil's first year on campus, he already has enough credits under his belt to graduate and then some. Apparently, he's been racking them up at breakneck speed with online classes ever since he graduated high school early.

It was Emile's idea for him to attend university life, to push him out of his shell and make friends. Virgil has been homeschooled most of his life because he can't handle crowds and other kids are the worst. He wants to try this for his dad though, to at least be able to say he put effort into it.

Remus respects that. He doesn't understand anxiety. He's so used to throwing himself out there. Who doesn't like attention? But attention makes Virgil nervous so Remus makes a solid attempt to not pay attention to him.

Which of course makes it all the harder. He overcompensates and comes on too strong. He babbles one night their first week into classes about a documentary he watched on Ted Bundy which leads into John Winn Gacey, and then on to the Zodiac Killer.

Virgil stops him at some point, eyes like saucers. "Do you realize you've been talking for over an hour about serial killers?"

Remus thinks this is the part where Virgil applies to switch roommates on the grounds that Remus is secretly a murderer. But instead, Virgil admits he's impressed by how much he knows and asks if he's ever watched Buzzfeed Unsolved.

And then they bond over watching shows together, and Virgil calls his dad and gushes about it, and Remus feels his stomach do a little flip at how happy Virgil seems to want to share this.

It becomes a thing where Virgil calls his dad and gives him updates not only about his life but Remus. Emile always asks about him and tells Virgil to tell him hi.

Remus is dumbfounded. He can't imagine calling his folks every month, let alone every day.

The two of them find a routine after the first week. By which, that means they have no routine. Virgil is a chronic insomniac and Remus can sleep through anything. Whenever Remus catches Virgil finally asleep, he either steps out of the room or sits completely still on pain of death. It helps that Virgil often wears his headphones and blasts music.

There's a time when Remus returns early to their dorm room and hears the slight, muffled sound of Virgil's music coming from Virgil's closet. Curious, Remus opens the closet to find that Virgil has made a blanket nest for himself inside and is fast asleep. Remus closes the door back gently and never tells Virgil that he knows about his super secret napping spot.

For Virgil's part, he doesn't know what to make of Remus for the first few weeks. Remus is flamboyant and proud in his masculinity even when wearing booty shorts. He sings like a hyena and he has those weird 3am pillow talk thoughts but like all the time.

He's also so random that even when Virgil feels anxious, it somehow gets him laughing more often than not. Remus beams during these moments and doubles down, usually becoming even more ridiculous.

Remus notices early on that Virgil skips meals. He doesn't think that it's an eating disorder or anything, because he eats whatever snacks Remus throws at him. Remus is smart though, more clever than people give him credit for, and his eyes often gravitate towards his favorite little emo.

Remus begins escorting Virgil to the food court. Virgil starts eating regular meals again now that he doesn't have to brave the swarms of people alone. The first time the food court is too congested indoors even with a buddy, Virgil crowds close to Remus and holds onto his arm and trusts him to steer them through.

Remus starts offering his hand whenever things get too claustrophobic. Virgil is surprised the first time, because guys don't just hold hands like that. But Remus is far from normal, and Virgil never claimed to be, so he takes the hand when it's offered. He can't look anyone in the eyes while they hold hands, but Virgil refuses to let go.

Holding hands with Virgil quickly becomes Remus's favorite activity. So much that he offers even when they're not around other people. Virgil doesn't always take it, but it makes him go soft in a way that Remus relishes.

Virgil went into university life initially thinking that he would hate it. After some weeks with Remus, he finds enjoyment. He's happy, and his classes are fun, and he never thought he'd befriend someone like Remus. At least, he thinks they're friends. Remus wouldn't hold his hand if they weren't at least friends, right?

Eventually, Remus admits to some of his struggles with his school work. Janus helps, but he's not knowledgeable in every subject(aka, Janus is flying by the seat of his pants and Remus doesn't realize it). Virgil agrees to help for the price of sour Skittles.

Remus learns quickly how Virgil has so many credits. Virgil's got that thing where he reads super fast and has a photographic memory.

"You have super powers," Remus accusses.

Virgil flushes and mutters something about it not being fair that he has built in cheat codes. He seems to be under the impression that this detracts from his successes and that he's not very intelligent.

Remus endeavors to prove him wrong any chance he gets. He compliments him often and praises him for helping him so much. He wants to show that Virgil's effort is its own merit. And Remus proves it to him because his grades do start improving in the courses he struggles with.

There's one night that they stay up late working on one of Remus's research papers. It's worth over a quarter of his grade, so it has to be good. He's got it printed out and ready to take to class, only he gets terribly distracted when getting ready that morning and runs out the door without it.

Virgil wakes up and spots the super important paper on Remus's desk five minutes before Remus's class starts.

Remus is very surprised to see Virgil show up to his class, panting for air and paper in hand.

"You sprinted across campus to bring this to me?" Remus asks, incredulous.

Virgil shrugs, wiping sweat from his brow, "You worked really hard on it."

"Unsolicited affections at five in the morning? You have outdone yourself, Patton," Logan says. He doesn't know whether his tone is admonishing or praising. The fond edge to it gives him away, he thinks. He checks Patton's forehead just to make sure and, once satisfied that the other is not sick and is simply needy, he aquiseces and rubs his back in sweeping circles.

Patton is quiet as he usually is in the mornings. He is not a naturally inclined morning person, obviously, and usually has to gear himself up with a shower and two cups of coffee laced with deplorable amounts of sugar. It's highly amusing because he's uncharacteristically grumpy and the others have teased him relentlessly for it in the past. Currently, Patton makes no fuss and simply wishes to be held. Logan is more than happy to oblige.

They are discovered in this position several minutes later by a slightly more awake Roman. He enters the kitchen with an impressive display of bedhead, one hand scratching at his stomach under his shirt. He stops short at the cute scene before him. Then he smiles, delight creeping in.

"I was going to come wish you good luck for the day, but it looks like someone already beat me to it."

"Is that what this is?" Logan asks. He sits his mug down and pets at Patton's hair. "Luck is not required, nor proven to be an actual thing that exists. I appreciate the sentiment all the same, though you don't have to go to the trouble."

Patton gives a short vocal response akin to, "Unn." He does not move his face away from where it's smooshed.

Roman tuts, "Just let us love you, nerd."

And then Roman joins the cuddling. He throws his arms around them both and buries his nose into Logan's shoulder.

"This is highly unnecessary," Logan complains but does not let them go. They are warm and soft in his embrace, and they are his. He would give them anything they ask for. Still, he tries to make them see reason. "I will have to leave soon."

"Being five minutes late for once won't kill you, Mr. Perfect Attendence Record."

"Unn," Patton agrees.

"Incorrigable, the both of you."

Another handful of precious minutes go by. Patton has taken to nuzzling and Roman sighs as Logan scratches at his scalp.

"What, did my invitation get lost in the mail?"

And there is Virgil, because no one can apparently sleep today if Logan is not there to ensure it. Virgil leans his shoulder against the entryway, arms crossed and eyebrow raised in that way that shows he's more amused than offended.

Logan gives an exasperated chuckle. "No invitations were sent, and yet here you all are. What am I to do with you?"

"Love us," Patton mumbles petulantly.

"Here, here," Roman agrees.

Virgil snorts and attempts to skirt by them on the way to the coffee pot. He doesn't get that far when Roman snatches at his hoodie to reel him in.

"Hey!" Virgil complains, but he lets himself be tucked under Roman's arm, so he's not truly angry. Patton squirms to the side enough so that Virgil is pressed in the middle of them all. "I am being held hostage."

"You and I both," Logan says, hiding a smirk in Roman's hair.

"They'll never take you alive," Patton grumbles, nonsensical, to which the rest of them laugh.

"Plot bunnies? What sort of rabbit is a plot?" Logan asked.

Appearing beside him eating a sandwich, Virgil answered, "It's slang, L. It means Sir Doofus here has too many story ideas in the old noggin'."

"Excuse me! I am not old!"

"Seriously? That's what you got out of that?"

Logan ignored their bickering. "Ah, I see. Your creative inspirations have exceeded your ability to efficiently process. Therefore, they have manifested in corporeal form."

Another slam came from behind the door and Roman's body jostled with it. He winced. "It's not my fault I'm so amazing!"

"Thomas has been rather motivated as of late," Logan agreed by not agreeing at all. He pulled out a notebook and pen. "Do you think they would allow me to ask questions?"

Virgil looked bug-eyed over Logan's body, both front and back. "Where did you pull those from?"

"If you want to go in there, be my guest!" Roman said. "The pen is mightier than the sword, after all."

"Quite. Well, if I may then?"

Roman and Logan stood by the door, waited long enough in between the impacts, and then Roman quickly yanked the door open enough for the other to slip in. Immediately after, Roman slammed the door shut.

"So... bunnies can't kill people, right?" Virgil asked conversationally.

"I don't hear screaming. Also we can't die, Virgil. You know this."

"It doesn't stop the fear."

"Logan took a shurikan to the head and lived. If any of us can survive killer rabbits, it's Isaac Nerdton."

"Do the rabbits have weapons or would they just gnaw you to death?"

"Virgil, you're spiraling."

"Right, sorry."

It was about this time that Logan barreled back through in a flurry of paper scraps. His clothes hung in tatters. Roman barred the door again and demanded, "Good God man, what happened in there?"

"They've formed a union," Logan said weakly.

Virgil ran a hand down his face and blew out a gust of breath. "Yeah, I'm gonna go get Remus for this one."

Even Roman couldn't argue. Sometimes violence was the answer.

Logan stood there frozen, watching Virgil walk away.

"You okay there, Specs?" Roman asked in concern. Logan didn't often go quiet.

"No. I most decidedly am not."

"Good, just as long as we're on the same page."

They stood in silence. Or rather, they stopped talking and listened to the bangs of dozens of rabbits throwing their ravenous bodies against the door.

They heard him before they saw him.

"HEEEEEEREEEEEE'S JHOOOONNYYYYY!"

Remus sonic-ran down the hallway wielding a battle axe. His eyes were alight with murder and his lips stretched back in a too-wide grin.

As if they had planned it together, Roman opened the door at the exact moment Remus needed to sprint into the room without slowing down. Then he slammed it closed once more.

Virgil walked back at a more sedate pace. He joined the others as they stood outside the door and listened to the sounds of manical cackling paired with rabbit squeals and ominous squelching.

"We never speak of this to Patton," Virgil said.