this is jem carstairs filming
I laughed way harder at this

art blog(derogatory)

tannertan36

Janaina Medeiros

#extradirty
Cosmic Funnies
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Three Goblin Art

roma★

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Xuebing Du
noise dept.

shark vs the universe
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
🪼
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Peter Solarz
DEAR READER
occasionally subtle
h

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@-vorobyshek-
this is jem carstairs filming
I laughed way harder at this

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Mansplaining protip:
When a man starts explaining a concept you already told him you understand, instead of saying “I know” over and over until you die, try one of these:
Ok, which aspect is confusing you?
It seems like you have the basics down; Would you like me to recommend some good articles so you can get a more nuanced understanding?
So did you have a specific question, or do you just want a more in depth explanation?
SAVAGE
teacher-zone him
My cousin is an asst psych professor. Her new boss brought up how male students sometimes challenge female professors. He asked how she handles that: she says ‘hold on: let me take notes’, grabs a pen & paper, and proceeds to take no notes. If he asks why, she says ‘Tell me something I don’t know & I’ll have something to write’; no student has tried twice. Her boss laughed and asked her to mention it at the next staff meeting.
Additional tip:
If you need to bring up a topic you think he’ll argue against, ask him if he knows what it is, nod along as he tells you, and then build on the argument he’s just made for you by laying the base.
aka, I had a mansplaining coworker who used to trigger the shit out of my PTSD, so one day I asked him if he knew what “trigger” meant as a psychological term. He proceeded to explain my own panic attacks to me and ended up having a facial Oh Shit when I responded with “Yes, that’s exactly what happens to me when you do X, I’m glad you understand.”
It’s very hard to claim ignorance of the subject when you’ve just been so very proud of showing off your knowledge of that subject.
I’m just gonna leave this here for anyone who needs it C:
Saving it for later
I think it’s time for me to just say “fuck it” and write midnight sun for y’all bc honestly? Smeyer isn’t gonna do it and I srsly don’t know wtf PA Lassiter was on when they wrote their version.
I love the father and son playing baseball with each other trope 😍
comedians: it's so difficult to be funny nowadays without sjws getting offended
robert pattinson, without an inch of effort:

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Wax museum but one of the dudes is real and they don’t tell you who
Emmett does this on his days off
Days off from what??
being bigfoot and scaring children, god it’s like you didn’t even read the books
if i ever saw hozier live i wouldn't even know how to act i'd just black out and start levitating or some shit
admit it, we’ve all fantasised about slow-dancing in the kitchen barefoot in our pyjamas at 2am in the arms of someone we love while old romantic jazz songs play softly on the radio
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” - W.B. Yeats.
Darth Vader might not know that everyone around him can hear him breathing.
Imagine Darth Vader trying to sneak up on someone

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i am shook to my goddamn CORE. THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE
peak LGBT ally is robert pattinson and taylor lautner kissing each other so that kristen stewart didn’t have to be straight live on TV
OKAY BUT LOOK AT HER FACE! LOOK AT HOW HAPPY SHE IS THAT HES NOT MAKING HER GO THROUGH WITH WHAT THE PEOPLE WANT
The movies might have sucked, but the actors have redeeming qualities
every single thing robert pattinson ever does is intentionally genetically engineered to make stephenie meyer’s mormon blood boil hot enough for her to feel the constant neverending pain he experienced having to make and promote her movies for all those years. this is more than lgbt allyship. this is revenge.
SORRY GIRLS
Later:
❤️
Max and Rafe getting ready to destroy Jace in a snowball fight.
@a-very-gay-spider Ask and ye shall receive. :)
When the boys awoke the next morning, bright eyed and eager, they were delighted to find nearly a foot and a half of snow had fallen over night. It was the soft, powdery kind of snow, white and gleaming in the weak sunlight - and it was still coming down in fat, thick flakes. It was the perfect kind of snow for a snowball fight, a battle Jace had promised them would take place if the conditions were right.
“It’ll be Herondales versus Lightwoods!” he had exclaimed the night before when the snow had first started falling.
“Lightwood-Banes,” Rafe had quietly corrected him, but Jace wasn’t listening. He and Max were staring out the window excitedly, watching the flakes fall.
“We Herondales are masters at snowball fights.”
“We?” Alec had asked.
“Me and Kit, of course.”
“Do you even know if Kit has ever been in a snowball fight? The kid grew up in LA.”
“He’ll be a natural,” Jace had replied confidently. “You’ll see.”
“Aren’t you technically a Lightwood too?” Alec was used to his parabatai’s enthusiasm, but even this was a little much.
“Not tomorrow! Tomorrow we Herondales are going to decimate the Lightwoods.”
“Lightwood-Banes,” Rafe sighed.
It had been difficult to get the kids to bed that night with the prospect of their first snowball fight. Alec’s phone had been pinging almost non-stop since sunrise with Jace’s texts. The agreed upon time had been set for 10 am at the park near the loft. So excited were they that Alec had a difficult time getting the boys settled for breakfast and getting them dressed.
“Thank the Angel,” he murmured as the blue sparks indicating an opening Portal floated through the loft. Within moments, Magnus stepped through, holding a strange yellow device that resembled a giant pair of plastic scissors.
“Hey my lovelies!” Magnus greeted, kneeling down to kiss both his boys. “Ready to beat Uncle Jace today?”
“Rweady!” Max yelled enthusiastically. Rafe’s curls bobbed with his vigorous head nodding.
“Then you might need this.” Magnus handed the yellow contraption over to Rafe.
“What is it?” Alec asked as the boys looked over the strange device. Rafe’s eyes started to shimmer with comprehension as he turned the thing over in his hands.
“Some weird thing Elyaas wanted me to pick up for him, though what he’s going to do with it I have no idea. But the boys can use it until we summon him again.”
Alec took the device from Rafe, inspecting it closely. He looked up at Magnus, the two of them sharing a mischievous grin before getting the boys ready.
*****
The snow fall had increased just enough to cover the opening of the Portal in the park. Out stepped Jace Herondale, his golden hair shining above his dark winter gear, a broad grin on his face. Behind him trudged Kit Herondale next to Clary Fairchild, the pair of them with identical expressions of puzzlement on their faces. The smell of the English countryside followed them just before the Portal closed.
“All right, you little monsters!” Jace was saying loudly as he leaned over, scooping up a huge handful of snow. He began to pack it into a tight ball as he looked around for his nephews. “Prepare to be destroyed, Ligh…” He broke over, tanned face going pale at the sight before him.
Max and Rafe were side-by-side, grinning at Jace behind a mound of prepared snowballs. There were at least three dozen snowballs of varying sizes and shapes - and some of them were distinctly duck shaped. Max had in his little mittened hands a very clearly duck shaped snowball.
Jace heard a snort behind him. He turned to find Clary attempting to cover her giggle and Kit looking both amused and puzzled at the same time.
“What in Raziel’s name is this?!” Jace’s voice had gone up a notch as his eyes flicked between the boys and their arsenal. He looked over to Magnus, who was leaning very casually against a tree nearby. As Jace watched, the warlock waved the strange yellow device at him, the ends of it a duck shaped mold.
“I think it’s supposed to be for making fun shaped foods,” Magnus explained casually, “but this is a much better use for it.”
“That isn’t fair!”
“All’s fair in snowball fights,” Magnus said before Rafe started racing for Jace, two duck shaped snowballs in his hands. Jace attempted to dart behind a nearby statue for cover until he noticed the row of snow ducks lining its edges; he backpedaled and just missed being pelted with a snow duck from Rafe.
“Alec!” Jace called, darting behind a tree. “Help me out here!”
Alec sat casually on a nearby bench, a dark blanket across his lap, sipping from a cup of coffee. “Lightwoods versus Herondales, remember?” He grinned, holding out another cup to Clary who came to join him on the bench.
Jace scowled at them both, throwing a snowball at Rafe. “Betrayed by my own parabatai!”
A little wail brought all the adults to a stop. Max, in his attempt to run after Jace and Rafe, had tripped in the deep snow, falling face first into the powder. He was having a time standing again due to the many layers he was wearing. He was just starting to cry when a pair of hands lifted him out and up. Max blinked in confusion as he was settled onto someone’s shoulders. Looking down, he found blue eyes and pale blonde hair gazing back at him. Kit grinned to Max, before turning towards Jace, his intent very clear on his face.
“Betrayed by my parabatai AND by my blood?!” Jace yelled incredulously.
“Oh ho, Herondale versus Herondale!” Magnus exclaimed, pulling out his phone. “Now this I have to video and send to Tessa!”
“Never mess with the Lightwoods,” Alec murmured into his coffee cup, watching as Rafe and Kit chased after Jace. Max was throwing snow ducks while holding onto Kit’s hood. Clary merely nodded in agreement, the pair watching the spectacle before them.
I did this piece for @beaconbookbox I haven’t read The Mortal Instruments book series. The movie kinda ruined it for me. But I loved The Infernal Devices. And want to read The Dark Artificies series. Thankfully I have ebooks and I will read them as soon as I have enough time 🙏❤️❤️ character are Jace and Simon and both belong to @Cassandraclare hope you guys will like it xoxo

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ライトウッド家
アレクとイジーの子供時代は夢いっぱいで色々妄想してしまいます。
基本的に硝子の街までしか読めてないんですけど、ちらちら先々の噂は聞いているだけに
日本でもはやく続き翻訳してほしい。゚(゚´Д`゚)゚。
I heard a sound that didn’t make sense, a strange, ripping counterpart to the otherwise cheery background music. Distracted by the shaking, I couldn’t tell where it was coming from.
“Shh, Bella, shh,” Edward said as he pulled me to the sofa farthest away from the curious human at the desk.
“I think she’s having hysterics. Maybe you should slap her,” Alice suggested. Edward threw a frantic glance at her.
Then I understood. Oh. The noise was me. The ripping sound was the sobs coming from my chest. That’s what was shaking me.
“It’s all right, you’re safe, it’s all right,” he chanted again and again. He pulled me onto his lap and tucked the thick wool cloak around me, protecting me from his cold skin.
I knew it was stupid to react like this. Who knew how much time I had to look at his face? He was saved, and I was saved, and he could leave me as soon as we were free. To have my eyes so filled with tears that I could not see his features clearly was wasteful—insanity.
But, behind my eyes where the tears could not wash the image away, I could still see the panicked face of the tiny woman with the rosary.
“All those people,” I sobbed.
“I know,” he whispered.
“It’s so horrible.”
“Yes, it is. I wish you hadn’t had to see that.”
(new moon, Chp. 22 Flight)