zzzach

snotlout wears heels to make himself taller

fishlegs didn’t write his dragon cards. they just appeared one day

hiccup is a lycanwing

stoicks hair is red from the blood of his enemies

ruffnut doesn’t cut her hair, she just eats it when it gets too long (spread by tuff)

tuffnut has sexual relations with sheep (spread by ruff)

bucket’s bucket that he wears on his head was the very bucket he was born in

mala pegs dagur (no one knows if this is true or not, including the twins)

stoick is actually two very skinny haddocks in a trenchcoat

gobber’s dragon is actually just a really big toad

hiccup meows like a cat when he gets excited

snotlout’s middle name is *cue every single name that starts with a g except for gary*

astrid made up heather to make it seem like she has more friends and everyone else just went along with it (this was the first and only rumor the twins ever spread about astrid)

ruffnut single handedly took down a whole camp of hunters (spread by ruff)

snotlout has to sleep in someone else’s room when there’s a storm (this one’s actually true)

tuffnut beat the scourge of odin three times with no antidote (spread by tuff)

gobber didn’t actually lose his hand and foot, they’re just really small and inside of the hook/peg leg

ruffnut is actually tuffnut, and tuffnut is actually ruffnut, they were switched at birth (the twins didn’t spread this one, they have no clue who did) (it was fishlegs)

fanghook is actually a girl and gustav just uses masculine terminology for her to be more like snotlout

hiccup got eaten by a dragon as a child and that’s why he’s like this

tuffnuts shoved the entire dragon eye up his ass

dagur IS oswald the agreeable, he just needed a way to cover up the fact that he doesn’t age

Sometimes ya just gotta write angst. Lotta people liked Coming Down is the Hardest Thing, my version of the ‘Hiccup runs away and becomes the “Dragon Master”, Astrid’s offered up as a Sacrifice years later’ tropes without Hiccup being a dick, and there were requests for sequels, which I didn’t do because this was all I had. Two years post Coming Down is the Hardest Thing, 4220 words, angst and some fluff.

“Berk is dying.”

The words sat heavily in the air of the smithy, lingering like a spectre between Stoick and Gobber.

Stoick almost wished he could take the words back, but that wouldn’t change the accuracy of his words. Berk was dying.

Gobber closed his eyes and sighed, giving him a weary nod of agreement. So he had seen it too. Or more likely, he had seen it in Gothi’s last roll of the bones, before she had gone to bed and passed away in her sleep, leaving the fortune out for Gobber to read when he found her body this morning.

He hadn’t actually told Stoick what the bones had said, giving him the same world-weary look he was currently wearing instead.