silly times

even if you don’t interpret what they have has romantic, it’s still incredible just how well they complement one another.

i think that episode 15 was the beginning. obviously they had some moments beforehand, but i think their fight was what set off two things.

the first is chip striving to be a better person, and in doing so, being HIS OWN person. this began under the threat of violence, but has worked out positively in the long run. but gillion was the first person to challenge his behavior, which, ultimately, was a poor attempt to mimic arlin. chip pulled all the same sorts of jokes that he remembered arlin pulling, but without any of the trust or care arlin put into them. his friendship with jay and gillion was brand new, so it was misplaced domesticity. now, though? being 100+ episodes in, these are his family. and he isn’t mimicking arlin anymore, chip is, or was, his own person.

and i think the second thing that the fight set off was gillion’s doubt. at the start of the campaign, he was courageous, cocky, impulsive. but ever since he first had someone imply to him that his destiny (and the way he was raised) was ultimately harmful to him, he’s been gradually changing from that picturesque hero to someone with the weight of the very world on his shoulders, trying so desperately to do the right thing, even though he doesn’t quite know what that is anymore. he’s cautious, tentative, even. and he’s quiet. he still carrie’s with him a lot of those traits from his introduction, but now we can see his true personality, wearing that mask of righteousness like an ill-fitting shirt. all torn and ragged and coming apart at the seams.

it’s so interesting, because in recent arcs, the two have actually started to seem remarkably similar. they’ve been picking up traits from one another, almost like a trade-off. where gillion begins to doubt his destiny and falter, chip picks up gill’s sword and blindly lunges into battle. where chip pauses to be more considerate of the people around him, gillion lies and tricks and pulls pranks that a long time ago nearly drove him to kill chip where he stood.

it’s like a tug-of-war. a balancing act.

but now, things have changed. very suddenly, i might add.

at the beginning, gillion almost killed chip not just on the basis of him lying, but also on being human. gillion then learned that humans aren’t so bad. but now chip is no longer truly human, but undead. something gillion has been even more kill-on-sight about.

and gillion, he now knows that everything he’s been taught and trained for, his entire life, is bordering on a lie. he’s the chosen one, yes, but what does that even mean? surely, he has the least clue.

Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.

5 minutes later: Morally, I’m a fish

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