⚠️✨zomedy has arrived✨⚠️

When I suggest people go to the doctor for something a lot of them seem to assume I don’t know what it’s like to have doctors that don’t listen to you. Yeah I do actually. I still think you should go to the doctor.

the thing about being bullied for being weird as a kid is that even if you've always embraced being weird your brain is still always looking for the line where it's too much. you can be as proudly and intentionally weird as you want and you can love being weird but your mind is still convinced there's a point where you get too weird and people start treating you like a weird looking bug again. also it feels like you reach that point 500 times a day even if everyone you've spoken to today found you pleasant and likable and even if you're completely alone in your house with nobody looking at you at all.

they sell items at tjmaxx that even God is not aware of

name your baby boy gargoyle. do it for me. and if its a girl... hmmm... name her gargoyle

I wash the cats’ water bowl every other day and every time I do it they swipe at me and pace around me like they are soooo thirsty and I have just stolen their precious water from them that they’ve been spitting food into and then when I put the clean and full water bowl back down they just sniff it and then don’t drink any. Okay so you weren’t thirsty and you just didn’t trust me is that it

graffiti discourse is so stupid why the hell would I give a shit if people spraypaint their names or do some cool paintings under a bridge

sorry didn't realize the bridge has to be plain beige concrete. that was a load bearing plain beige concrete if anyone tags it the whole bridge collapses

''what if you regret it'' then you will expirience regret - a normal and unavoidable part of the human expirience.

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

"less is more" is a lie perpetuated by big small to sell more less