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I was mentally vulnerable into liking you

Blinded by lust

I visualized my whole life with you

My flesh crawled everytime someone said your name

Angry at you for leaving

But I’m the real one to blame

For listening to others opinions about you and I

Love doesn’t cost but my card continues to get denied

Taking baby steps is something I should have done with you

You have to crawl before you walk

A lesson learned from you

When you told me that you loved me

I knew something was suspicious

But I had a lot on my plate

I should have done the dishes

I gave you my time and my love

I thought it was Christmas

But a broken heart isn’t something I wanted on my wishlist

Went on a few dates

The best time I’ve had

You had your corny jokes

But I still laughed

We both were really shy

At least I thought you were

Then you kissed me on my lips

You have my mind a blur

After our lips touched

I wanted to jump the broom

But another part of me thought it was too soon

I wanted to take things slow

But you wanted quick results

I wanted to really get to know you

You thought I was a joke

As I didn’t let you kiss me

Your mind began to change

Then you left me out the blue

Like I’m the one to blame

You sent me this emotional text

Like you really meant it

My gut said to take my time

I’m really glad I listened

But just because I listened

Doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt

I should feel really happy

But I feel the worse

A daily dose of misery

Why do I feel cursed

I need a prescription for these feelings

Someone call a nurse

Uncomfortable in my skin

But it’s something that i live in

Not so quick to send my love

Not delivered or it’s pending

I’ve gained confidence in myself

My sadness can’t contend

I’ve come to a conclusion

And the theme of it

I didn’t love you

I just loved the idea of it

don’t talk to me like being in a relationship is a bad thing.

relationships is the key to me getting rid of my pain.

you talk about loving yourself is key to happiness, and that’s true

but don’t act like me giving my heart to someone that deserves it, doesn’t work too

through all your flaws I love you still.

our hearts share this bond that’s tough to explain but so easy to feel

But there’s no “US” in the periodic table

Dealing with yourself is a battle of its own.

Feelings that make you want to runway

and wish you never return home.

You deal with your non relatable issues.

Problems that you only feel like you go

through.

Coveting to dry your face,

But you just used your last tissue.

Sending your prayers up to God

but you're anxious if they go through.

You ask for confirmation

but he gives you no sign and no proof

Your prayer is, "God, why did you create me just to fail?"

"If you wanted to experiment on one of your creations, why me and not someone else?"

"I thought you put me through these adversities just so I can prevail?"

"You said you would be with me always?"

"Have you gone astray, because it's hard to tell?"