Hello there

Sliding through the water, you breached the surface in one swift, precise movement, gasping for air. Pushing your wet hair back, you took a second to recompose your breathing and started to swim back to the beach. Getting out of the water, you grabbed the towel you had laid there a few hours earlier and started to wring out your hair and dry yourself. It was a while since you had gone swimming for such a long go. It felt good to be close to the sea again, somehow. 

You pulled on a shirt and grabbed the bag you had brought with you, and started to make the trip back to the house on the hill. 

It was still pretty early in the morning, the stars not quite going to bed yet. You met only a couple of people, villagers who started their day early too – getting a wave or a nod from them. When you finally reached the house, the first lights of the day were starting to shine on the horizon. 

Pushing the door open, you tried to make the least noises you could, tip-toeing to the kitchen to pour you a large glass of water. Only silence answered you, and you let the peaceful atmosphere sink in for a few minutes. It was nice, not having the usual chaos of a whole crew bustling with energy first thing in the morning. Sometimes you came to miss it, but on times like that, the peace felt nice too. Deciding to make the most of the early hour, you poured yourself a cup of tea and brought it with you outside to sit on your porch, watching the sun rise. The sun beams tickled your face as they rose, warming you up after your morning dive like a comforting blanket. You loved the sea, but sometimes you forgot how you missed the warmth too. 

The door cracked behind you, slow steps thumping on the wood until they stopped right behind you. A warm, large hand came down on your shoulder, and a pair of lips pressed a kiss on your temple. 

“Hey love”

You closed your eyes, sinking in the sensation of Ace’s lips and your hand came to grasp the one on your shoulder. Yes, you had missed warmth. 

With a shuffle, Ace lazily came to sit next to you, his hand sliding so that his arm rested across your waist. The operation elicited a small wince from him, but he quickly offered you a soft smile when he finally settled down. 

“Hey babe,” you murmured, before pressing a kiss on his lips. 

“D’ya went for a swim?” he asked after a yawn. 

“Yeah, just came back,” you smiled. “How did you sleep?”

Ace nodded faintly, “Not so bad. It doesn’t hurt that much anymore when I sleep on my belly now.” 

You couldn’t help but glance at his back: where the proud tattoo of the Whitebeard crew once stood, a large angry, red scar now took place. A permanent memory of what happened in Marineford – and a trace that Ace survived. 

Apart from you, there were exactly three people who knew Portgas D. Ace was still alive: Marco, Trafalgar Law and Red-Haired Shanks. It was thanks to the first two that Ace was still alive ; yet it was still unclear on how and why the Heart pirates’ captain had helped you, but you were certainly grateful that he did. The latter was the reason the rest of the world believed Ace to be dead. 

From what Jinbei had told you when you had woken up aboard the Polar Tank, Shanks had stepped in to stop the Marineford war. And if that wasn’t impressive enough, the Emperor had managed to negotiate with the Marines to offer a proper burial to Whitebeard…and to Ace. While it hadn’t been certain that Ace would even survive at that time, you were eternally grateful that Shanks had made that deal. Now that an actual grave had been built, everyone thought that the son of Gol D. Roger had found his demise in Marineford, and no one had looked for a body. 

After two weeks of uncertainty aboard the Polar Tank, Ace still in a coma fighting for his life, your raging anxiety had been put to an end by Law’s short sentence in the middle of the night, when he had knocked on your door. 

“He’s awake.”

Your heart had almost combust on the spot. 

Without thinking, you had pounced in the hallway, rushing to cross the ship the fastest your legs could carry you. And when you ran to the infirmary and found Ace’s eyes open, staring right back at you? This had felt like a second life opening its arms to you. 

After what had been a tearful and messy reunion, where you had both cried until your eyes dried and hugged Ace until it hurt, Law and Marco had filled you in with the information you still missed. Luffy was still unconscious, but overall stabilized. The rest of the Whitebeard crew had scattered, licking their wounds and trying to figure out what to do next. So far, Marco hadn’t revealed to anyone that Ace might have survived. The whole world now knew that he was Roger’s son ; it changed everything. 

“Shanks had offered to allow you to live on an island under his protection,” the blonde medic had said, while you were all thinking about what to do next. 

“Why?” you asked, surprised by the Emperor's generosity – you were already beyond indebted to him. 

Marco shrugged lightly. “I suppose he’s feeling responsible for his former captain’s son. Or to Luffy’s brother, whatever.” 

“Luffy,” you realized, “he will be so relieved to hear that you’re still alive!” you beamed at Ace. 

But his face had closed up, and you frowned. “I…I don’t plan on telling Luffy I’m still alive,” he said quietly. 

That made your eyebrows rise in surprise, but neither Law or Marco looked surprised. “He’ll be in far more danger if he knew,” Law deduced, to which Ace nodded in confirmation. “If the Marines learn that Roger’s son actually survived, they’ll hunt Luffy down to get to you.”

You swallowed slowly. “I understand…but what about you? Marco?”

The former Whitebeard commander gave you a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, I won’t say a thing. And I can take care of myself.”

“Same goes for me and my crew,” Law added. “I didn’t even tell them that Ace survived. If I tell them he passed away from his injuries, that’s what they’ll believe.” 

You nodded once again, Ace intertwining your fingers together. It was going to be some of the hardest goodbyes you’d ever have to say in your life – Ace to Luffy, and you to your almost-adopted brother Marco. But this was for the better. And you’d had an exit door few people were lucky enough to get. So a few days later, you gathered Ace, thanked Law once again, gave a tearful hug to Marco, and you and Ace disappeared from the world. 

People in the village welcomed you without much questions. It was a peaceful place, far from the Marines’ clutch and the World Government’s intrigues. At first, Ace had a hard time in his recovery. Physically, he was diminished and had to learn to live with the pain, to accept that for what could be a long time, he wouldn’t be the man he had once been. And then there was also the guilt, thinking that Marineford and Whitebeard’s death were on him ; not to mention the crippling shame at the thought that the entire world now knew who he was. 

But you were here. Through every step, you had picked up the pieces and got them together again with Ace. It had taken some time, but after two years he was starting to become more like his old self again. And that, more than any house or island, felt like home.

Leaning your head against his shoulder, you nuzzled yourself into his embrace. Ace smiled and pressed another kiss on the crown of your head. 

“This is nice,” you mumbled, closing your eyes to enjoy the sun warming your face.

“It is,” Ace smiled softly. “Wanna stay like this a little longer?”

You hummed, leaning to press your ear against his chest. The soft thumping of his heart lulled you, steady and warm. Your favourite melody in the whole world. 

Yeah, you two could stay like this a little longer ; you had all the time in the world.

This wasn’t good. 

While you should be happy, thrilling today – you were married to Ace for Sea’s sake! –, there was nothing to celebrate right now. And for good reason: you were losing that war. 

Despite the sudden regain of optimism a few minutes earlier, the tiredness of your muscles and sloppiness coming from it didn’t put you in an ideal situation. It was getting harder to deflect attacks and juggle between strategizing, counter attacks and balancing yourself between Whitebeard’s earthquakes or Akainu’s shots of lava. And when you glanced at Ace, you knew he wasn’t doing much better. The weight of this never-ending day was taking a toll on him, his attacks were starting to become less precise and aggressive too. Even Luffy seemed to get overwhelmed by the fight too. 

All around you, marines and crewmates alike were lying on the ground or struggling to get up. Each side had already lost so much, yet it didn’t feel like the fight would come to an end any soon. 

When a roar of pain echoed throughout the whole field, a cold shiver ran down everyone’s spine ; it sounded like a death knell no one could escape. 

All eyes turned to the source of the atrocious sound. Nothing could have prepared you for this sight. Knees on the ground, blood dripping down his temple, ragged breath, Whitebeard had his head hanging low ; and a magma fist through his shoulder. For a few seconds, no one dared to move – even Akainu, which seemed to have a brief flash of surprise in his eyes. 

Ace couldn’t bring himself to move, frozen in place. Whitebeard, his captain, his father figure, that immutable indestructible rock…had been struck down? No, no he couldn’t. 

The Emperor coughed harshly, blood dripping down his lips. And his crew flung into action. 

“POPS!”

“HANG IN THERE, WE’RE COMING!”

“HOLD ON!”

The pirates ran to their captain, but out of a sudden, a crack drifted the ground apart, keeping them far away from the Emperor. A bunch of confused voices – Ace’s louder than any other – rose but the booming tone of their captain stopped them. 

“GET OUT OF HERE, YOU BRATS!” Whitebeard roared. 

Ace’s face morphed into an outraged expression, “Like hell we are! We’re not leaving– !”

“THAT’S AN ORDER!!” 

For the first time, Ace flinched. The harsh tone left no room for negotiation ; it was cold and definitive. At the price of uncomensurable effort, Whitebeard pushed himself up from his knees, rising tall on shaky limbs despite his injuries. 

“That’s my final order to all of you as your captain, my children,” the old man declared – in a surprisingly calm tone, as if he had found peace. “Gather your brothers and sisters, and get out of here.” 

“Pops!” Ace cried out, tears welling in his eyes, “You can’t ask us to abandon you!” 

Newgate turned to gaze at him. You stood next to Ace, having reached him while trying to get to your captain’s help ; you were squeezing Ace’s hand, tears rolling down your cheeks not believing what was happening. Whitebeard smiled ; you two had each other, so he wasn’t worried about what could happen to him. 

“This is my last order to you, boy,” he said calmly. “I didn’t just marry the two of you so that you would die on my watch. Go now.”

Ace opened his mouth, ready to disagree but a tug on his hand made him stop to look back at you. Tears streamed down on your face, as you tried to contain the wobble of your lips ; with a broken heart, you gave him the shake of your head. 

Please don’t. 

The flame user swallowed thickly, feeling his own heart shatter. He knew you were right ; of course you were. Whitebeard had been your father too, in a way. If you told him to listen to your captain’s final order…it was breaking your heart as much as his, but it was the right thing to do. 

“Please”, you begged through tears, “don’t do that. Just…listen to him and let’s go.”

Ace felt torn, the guilt rushing back to him like an earthquake. “He needs me I…I can’t abandon him like that…”

A sob wrecked you. Neither did you want to abandon your captain ; but if you wanted to survive, as tragic as it was, there was no other choice. 

“Don’t make me lose you too today,” you whispered, a single tear rolling down on your cheek.  

Ace’s heart definitely broke at your words. And he knew, deep down he already knew, what he needed to do. 

So with a heavy, broken heart, he turned away. Took a step, then another, then another, running without thinking about the adoptive father he was leaving behind. The only thing that mattered was the feeling of your hand in his, grounding him ; a reminder of why he was running away. 

The view of his crew running away should have saddened a poor captain’s heart ; for Whitebeard, it was solace. The old Emperor smiled as he gazed upon his children one last time, then braced himself. As his duties as father were, he would be the last defense for his crew, even if it cost him his life. History would remember that Edward Newgate died protecting his crew.

As the pirate captain stood tall, Akainu raised a scornful eyebrow. 

“Ordering your crew to leave like cowards,” he sneered, “I thought an Emperor would have more honor than that.”

Whitebeard drew his blade, pointing it at his opponent, “There is no greater honor than dying to protect your loved ones, Admiral.”

“I’ll end every one of them.”

Whitebeard gripped the handle of his weapon, “Face me instead, if you’re so honourable.”

The offer was tempting, really it was. Killing an Emperor would be establishing justice for every crime he had done. But Newgate wasn’t his goal. Akainu had a cursed bloodline to end. 

“You’re a wreck, Newgate. It’s a shame you won’t even be able to save Roger’s son.”

The Admiral snapped his fingers, gesturing to a newcoming group of marines to attack. It took the pirate by surprise, who hadn’t expected an ambush. 

“Akainu!” he roared, barely maintaining his defense against the dozen of attackers, “come and face me yourself you coward!” 

The Admiral didn’t even respond, scanning the field to spot a certain commander. When his eyes set on a familiar tattooed back, he grunted and shed off his navy coat.

“The pirate's era is over Newgate,” he declared, “and you’re ending with it.” 

With a burst of lava, the Admiral fled through the battlefield ; and behind him, swords pierced through Edward Newgate’s heart. 

Ace’s lungs were burning. He didn’t know for how long you had been running, the Marineford area seemed to never end. Wind scratched over his cheeks, where tears marks had already run deep. But he couldn’t let himself get distracted, the beach was closer now, and he could still feel your hand in his. He could make it, you could both make it. 

“PORTGAS!”

The booming voice made him stop dead in his tracks, and you yelped at the sudden stop. Snapping his head around, Ace’s eyes widened at the sight of an enraged Akainu, running straight in your direction. 

“You’re running away like a coward, just like your captain!” the Admiral taunted. “It’ll be known that Whitebeard’s crew was made of weakling, just like their leader!” 

Ace gritted his teeth, his hand starting to flame up in rage. He may have been forced to abandon him, but he wouldn’t let anyone tarnish the name of his captain. But you stopped him, grabbing his shoulder. 

“Ace, don’t! He’s baiting you to fight!” 

“So what?” he snapped, “I can’t stand here and let him insult Pops!” 

His pained tone made you wince – you knew he was already punishing himself for what happened to Whitebeard. 

“If you’re playing his game, then Pops’ sacrifice would have been for nothing,” you said quietly, and you immediately felt Ace’s shoulders falter. He gritted his teeth harshly, then nodded and turned away to run again. 

From where he was, Akainu roared once again. 

“COWARD! THE LOT OF YOU!” 

Ace squeezed his eyes shut for a second, trying to push away the taunting voice. The beach, he had to focus on reaching the beach. 

Finally, the edge of the water came into view and he felt his worries starting to fade a little – and so did you. The Moby Dick was a wreck, a pile of wood that barely floated. On the far right of the area, you noticed a small ship that could easily be manoeuvred to get away. Calling out to Ace you jabbed your chin toward it. 

“Go get Luffy!” you shouted at him, “I’ll try to get this ready to sail!”

He nodded briskly at you, and at the same time noticed Luffy a few feet away. Ace sped up, trying to get to his brother as quickly as he could while keeping an eye on you in his peripheral vision. Luffy called out his name, waving at him and that brought the tiniest smile on Ace’s lips. Then a blink or red bursted in the corner of his eye. 

Ace turned his face to it ever so slightly and his heart stopped. Before him, a tragedy was happening in slow motion. You, running to the ship you had hoped could make you escape ; focused on your goal. Akainu, jumping high in the sky above ; his fist coated in blazing, scorching lava. Ready to punch down. Your head, right in the trajectory. 

Ace yelled your name. You turned your head to him and your eyes widened at the upcoming attack. You screamed and Ace bolted to you. 

Time ticked in slowly. You squeezed your eyes shut, and waited for the impact to come. 

Something threw you down harshly, making you yelp in pain when your head hit the ground. A second after, you cracked your eyes open with a wince, fumbling in the sand to get yourself up. Blurry vision didn’t allow you to make out more than abstract shapes and colors, the ringing in your ears muffled every sound. Yet, a cold shiver ran down your spine ; something felt wrong. 

Someone’s voice shrieked a familiar name and you forced yourself to blink, trying to regain your sight. A choked gasp escaped you. 

A flaming fist held barely a few inches from your face ; the heat scorching your skin. But the worst part was the smell. Prickly, gut wrenching smell of burned flesh. A scream died in your throat, as you realized that this horrendous appendage had been stuck through Ace’s chest.

He stood there facing you, panting in ragged breaths. His eyes were covered by his dark locks, sweat rolling down his neck. 

You couldn’t move. Your brain shut down, unable to process anything else than horror. Then the fist moved back, tearing himself off of your husband’s body. Ace fell on his knees and you threw yourself at him, catching him in your arms before he fell face first on the ground. 

The Admiral looked down at you, his cold gaze unwavering as you hiccuped your husband’s name, cradling his body with shaky hands. He knew that the boy was reckless and attacking his companion would lure him out. You, on the other hand, were useless to him now ; he had no reason to kill you – grief would do that just fine. 

Akainu gave one last look at Ace’s torn body – at his work. Roger’s bloodline was dead, justice had been served. So, before anyone reacted, he turned away and walked back to the base. His job here was done.

Eyes wide in horror, you couldn’t stop the tears streaming down on your face. Hands tried to clutch on Ace’s shoulders but trembled too much to hold onto anything. Your throat was tight, no breathing coming through it anymore as you felt your chest ready to burst out of pain. Then a faint, wheezing gasp rasped against your ear. Snapping your head up you tugged yourself off of Ace and – stars, he was still breathing! 

Immediately you gripped his shoulders to help him lay on the floor. “Ace! Ace oh my god, you– stay still,” you stuttered through tears, gripping his hand tightly, “hold on babe, y-y-you’re gonna be okay, alright?” 

Scanning his body through blurry vision, you felt your stomach churn. A gaping hole was piercing through his chest, where most of his organs were supposed to be. Gods, you weren’t even sure that his heart was still intact. Shaking hands came to press on the wounds, to try to stanch the hemorrhage – but you weren’t even sure where to start. 

A broken sob racked your body once again. 

“HELP!” you screamed out. “ANYONE, HELP!!” 

Another wheeze came out of Ace, immediately bringing you attention back to him. He winced, cracking his eyes open. Then his lips tried to stretch into a somewhat of a smile, painted with blood. 

“H-hey love,” he croaked. 

“Ace,” you choked, “wh-why did you do this?”

He didn’t let his smile falter. “ Couldn’t let anything happen to you,” he rasped. “At least,” he coughed up blood again, “my life…was useful in the end.”

Another sob tore up from your throat. “Shut up,” you cried, “you can’t say things like that I– keep your strength please we–”

Ace’s eyes turned softer, despite the pain. “ ‘m so happy you get to live, sweetheart,” he mumbled weakly. 

You shook your head, not wanting to believe that it was the end for him. “MARCO!” you screamed out, hoping the doctor would hear you. “LUFFY! ANYONE!?” 

Ace looked groggily at you. Despite the unbearable pain, he tried to sink in the sight of you. Your face, even distorted in tears, your eyes, the sound of your voice – trying to burn the vision of you in his mind, to hold onto it for as long as he could. He wanted you to be the last thing he’d see in this world. His eyelids started to feel heavy and his mind got foggy. 

“Hey,” you panicked at that notice, immediately pulling Ace’s face into your hands, “no, no, no, nononono no– no please Ace, stay awake!”

“ACE!” 

Someone dropped on their knees beside you without you really noticing, too caught up in panic. They tried to ask you a billion questions but your mind was too hazy to process any answer. It was only when another set of hands tried to stop the bleeding from Ace’s gaping wound that you finally recognized who it was – Luffy. 

Ace’s eyelids fluttered once again, a tired smile grazing his lips at the sight of his little brother. 

“Luffy,” he breathed out, “I’m so proud of you.”

“Shut up,” the younger boy sobbed, his face full of tears, “you don’t get to talk like you’re going to– like you’re going to d-d-die!” 

The scene made your heart break even more than it already was. You wished you could reassure Luffy, to say that it would be alright and that Ace was going to make it but – but even if you wanted it to be true, so damn much…you knew it wasn’t true. And when the straw hat captain looked up to you, eyes full of tears and wide with hope, he realized that too. 

Ace turned his face to you. Stars, even at your worst you looked so beautiful to him. He was so glad you had been a part of his life. 

“I love you,” he breathed out weakly. “Thank you so much for loving me too.” 

You gripped his hand, a ugly cry escaped your lips. No, no this couldn’t be the end for Ace yet, it was too soon– 

“I love you Ace,” you sobbed. “Please, don’t go, please…”

He offered you another weak smile. Then he closed his eyes – and his hand slipped away from yours to fall on the ground. 

“Ace…” you called weakly, “Ace?...”

He didn’t answer. Somewhere deep inside of you, something cracked into a million pieces. 

The wail you let out after wasn’t human. The next few minutes were a blurry mess. You didn’t recall anything but your hands trying to clutch on Ace’s body, like it could bring him back, or the sudden arrival of a familiar doctor. You didn’t really react either when blue flames tried to wrap around Ace’s body, until it tore the last sight of Ace from you and you started to trash around. It was also uncertain to you whose large arms took you away from him despite your screeching protests, while another set of tattooed hands came to your husband’s body too. The last thing you remembered before blacking out was the tears on Marco’s face as he asked Jinbei to take you away. 

[Then]

Days-off were a rare luxury among the crew, but when either Ace and you had one, you made sure to enjoy it to the fullest. 

It usually meant taking the Striker to set sail on the closest island, renting a room at the local inn and spending the day either visiting the island or making love for hours till our hearts’ content. This might be your favourite way to spend your days off. One because it meant you could enjoy your very hot boyfriend without having to face the complaints of the crew the next day (“Ships have thin walls you know!”), and two because it was in those rare times you actually felt like a normal couple. Away from the crew’s daily chaos, from the pirate world’s mess, from devil fruit shenanigans, or cursed lineages. It was just you and Ace and it felt peaceful. 

Laying naked between the bed’s sheets, you threaded your fingers through Ace’s thick hair as he laid his head on your chest. The sensation of his bare skin against yours and the warmth of the filtering sun through the window made you sigh in contentment. This was exactly where you wanted to be and you had no intention of getting anywhere else. A soft grunt of your boyfriend made you glance down, meeting his eyes just barely cracking open. 

“Hey love,” he mumbled, freckled cheek squished against your left breast. 

You smiled softly at him, loving how vulnerable he looked when he woke up. “Hey sleepyhead…how was your nap?”

Ace nuzzled his face further into your cleavage, using your chest like a plushy nest. “Mmmh, ‘twas nice. You’re comfy.” 

Your light laugh made your ribcage rumble and Ace almost purr at the warm sensation. Plus the feeling of your fingers petting his hair, he was the happiest man alive at that moment. 

“I wish we could stay like this forever,” you mumbled mind-absently. 

“And becoming my designated pillow?” Ace asked mischievously, a cheeky twinkle in his eyes. 

You shrugged, “Eh, there’s worse ways to spend your days.” 

He grinned, and the two of you fell back to a comfortable silence once again. As a man of physical contact, Ace needed to be close to you every time he could. Cuddling was his way of communicating, you knew he didn’t necessarily need words. 

“We could do that, you know.”

You glanced down at him, cocking your head to the side. 

“What do you mean?”

He turned his face so that his chin popped on your sternum, gazing at you with his big, dark eyes. 

“Stay like that forever. Away from the crew, I mean,” he clarified. 

Your eyes widened a little. You hadn’t expected that, especially from Ace. 

“You want to quit being a pirate?” you muttered, not quite believing what he had suggested. 

Ace shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know,” he said casually. “Maybe. Never really thought about it before.”

You frowned, “Before what?”

“Before you.” 

That made your heart flutter a little harder – even more when you could see the sincerity in Ace’s eyes. 

That reckless, selfless, beautiful man of yours. When Ace loved, he loved hard, you knew that much. You could ask him anything and he’d turn the world upside down to do it. But you also knew how much he loved being a pirate and part of Whitebeard’s crew, you never imagined he would be open to leave that life, even if you asked him to. 

Gently caressing a few strands of hair on his forehead, you pondered his words. 

“Do you want us to stop being pirates?” you finally asked after a few moments of reflection. 

“I want to be where you are,” he answered softly. “In the crew or anywhere else, that’s fine for me as long as we are together.” 

Gods, did he have to be so sweet? You cradled his left cheek, and he immediately leaned into your palm. 

“I won’t ask you to give up on your dreams, Ace.”

“ ‘m not saying you will,” he assured. “It’s just…I’m happy wherever you are, that’s all. I know that if I have anyone to follow to find my future, it’s you.” 

“Didn’t you have a dream when you joined the crew?” you pressed gently, and once again he shrugged lightly. 

“Yeah, I want to see Luffy fulfill his dream,” he admitted, “but I can do that wherever I am at the moment. Being in Pops’ crew is nice and all but…as long as you’re here it’s just a bonus to me, y’know?” 

That made your heart soar. The knowledge that Ace trusted you enough to be able to decide his future…that sure was a big deal. Especially for someone who had despised his own life for the longest time. 

Sensing your disarray, Ace pressed a kiss on your palm, gently intertwining your fingers with his. 

“I…honestly never thought I’d live past eighteen,” he admitted softly, and your heart stopped at his confession. “I always thought that I’d been killed before or that I…that I would have taken care of it myself.”

His words made your throat tighten. The two of you had worked a lot on the subject of Ace’s depression and suicidal thoughts. It was starting to be something of the past, still hearing him talking about it always brought a squeeze of sadness in your heart. 

Ace cleared his throat awkwardly. “So yeah, I never really planned on getting this far in life so…whatever awaits me in the future, as long as it’s with you? I’m all in, sweetheart.”  

The softest of smiles accompanied his words. And that was enough to bring tears in your eyes – happy, warm tears. 

“You’re the best of us Ace,” you breathed out, caressing his freckles with your thumb. 

He let out a shaky laugh, throat heavy with emotion too. “I’m really not, but that’s okay as long as I’m yours.” 

Unable to resist, you brought his face up for a searing kiss. You loved him so much, stars you did. If he wasn’t able to love himself, you were more than willing to do it for him. You had used to think that the soulmates legends had been bullshit fantasies, but with Ace? Those legends were put to shame. 

No idea what you wanted your future to be like, as long as Ace was in it. That, you were absolutely sure of it. 

[Marineford]

The world still for a moment, chaos hanging on a thin thread of fate just for your heart to beat once, twice. As for your breath, it hadn’t returned to normal quite yet after hearing the words Ace had shouted. 

“Will you marry me!?”

Words were caught up in your throat, lips moving but unable to pronounce them. Ace still stood here, panting and beaming, as he was lit up with the warmth of the sun itself ; expecting an answer like a man who had all the time in the world. 

A nearby cry suddenly made you duck and you immediately punched whoever had lunged at you, briskly making your brain start up again. 

“Ace!” 

“So?!” he asked with a grin, sending a punch of flames to a bunch of marines. 

A bewildered scoff escaped you, how could he still smile in this situation?

“I don’t think now is the best time!” you shouted back – but couldn’t help the smile that had crept up on your face. 

He punched another guy, trying to get closer to your position. “Well, that might be the last time we have, love!” 

You whipped your head around at his words, eyes wide hearing such dreadful omen ; but you were only met with Ace’s soft gaze, a few feet away from you. He looked almost at peace, so certain and honest in what he wanted – for the first time of his life, Portgas D. Ace had never been so sure of what he had said. 

Somewhere in the battlefield, a loud gasp echoed. 

“HOLY SHIT! ACE, ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED?”

Luffy’s scream made Ace and you burst out in laughter and disbelief. Were you? Were you really going to actually get married, in the middle of a bloodshed? 

You held Ace’s gaze for another second, as he reached for your hand, taking it in his warm one. And then you gave him a broad, blissful smile and a small nod, not quite believing what was happening. Ace beamed, his smile wider than before it was almost blinding, and whipped around. 

“YO POPS!” he shouted through the field. A few feet away, Whitebeard snapped his head up from his current fight with Akainu. The old captain looked tired and bruised, but he still stood tall and proud and seemed to give the marine officer a hard time. 

“What is it, brat?!” he called out, swinging his blade to his opponent. 

A cannon ball flew in your direction and you tugged on Ace’s arm to throw yourselves out of its direction, never letting go of his hand. 

“YOU SAID YOU COULD OFFICIATE WEDDINGS ON THE SHIP, RIGHT?” Ace shouted again, flaming up his right arm to parry another round of bullets. 

Even at a distance, you could see Whitebeard’s frown of confusion. “Does it look like we’re on the ship right now, boy?” 

But it seemed that Ace didn’t really care about his captain's answer, as he got caught by the sight of you once again, then in the giddy smile you couldn’t help when you turned to him once again. 

“MARRY US!” 

The Emperor actually choked. Slamming down his haki to keep his opponent at bay, the old captain whipped around to face his second division commander and his adopted daughter, holding hands throughout the fight and glancing up at him expectantly every now and then. A bond so strong their love bloomed into a hurricane, he thought. 

A handful of marines charged at him, jumping on the opening made by Whitebeard’s small moment of confusion. Quickly regaining his spirits, he whipped them out with a swing of his blade. 

“I’m a little busy at the moment, you brat!!” he yelled to his protégées. But somewhere deep down, a sparkle of amusement lit up his heart. Maybe there was something good that could still arise from this madness.

Somewhere near him, something exploded and the shrill voice of Luffy boomed. “THEN MAKE IT QUICK, OLD MAN!!” 

Ace barked a laugh at his little brother’s antics. Somehow, he was even more glad that Luffy was here to see this. Above his head, he heard a familiar grunt. 

“What in the everloving fuck you guys!” Marco screeched in disbelief, hovering in his phoenix form, “you’re doing this now? Really?!” 

Slicing across a marines’ back with your sword, you threw him a cheeky smile. 

“I know right?!”

The doctor blinked hard then let out a stunned laugh, “You’re fucking nuts! Try not to get killed!”

“Can do!” Ace promised, slamming a punch down. 

Whitebeard let out a wide, hearty laugh. By the Sea, this new generation would never cease to surprise him. 

“CHILDREN!” his voice boomed, while he was still going on in his fight against a boiling Akainu – only focusing on defense now, for the time being. “We’re gathered today to witness those two souls unite in the bond of marriage!”

“Oh no you don’t,” Akainu gritted, nostrils flared out of sheer rage. “There’s no way I’m letting this heresy happen!” 

Whitebeard’s stare turned icy cold at his reaction ; in the blink of an eye, a deep rumble of earth shook under the Admiral’s feet, trying to swallow him down. Tumbling down, the marines gripped the floor, anchoring himself with his lava powers. It was all Ace needed to find you again – a previous confrontation having separated the two of you briefly – and grip your forearm tightly. 

“Y/N,” he smiled through ragged breaths, “will you marry me and make me the happiest man in the Seas?” 

“I do!” you shouted, gripping his arm tighter. 

Ace grinned widely. Stars, his heart beat so fast it was almost painful. “Perfect,” he muttered – and he wasn’t even sure if he was talking about your response or about you.

Another punch was thrown to an upcoming marines. You slashed someone blindly, way too busy trying to steady your racing heart. 

“Portgas D. Ace, will you–”, you started only to be interrupted by a flying cannon above your head, forcing you to duck down, “will you take me as your lawfully wedded wife? For the better–”, you ducked again to avoid a swinging blade, “ – and for worse?”

“I THINK YOU MIGHT CONSIDER “WORSE”!” Marco shouted from the sky. 

Ace barked a laugh before tugging you to his chest, eyes anchoring into yours. “I do,” he said with a surprisingly soft voice. The bright smile you gave him was enough to make his heart beat for the rest of his life. 

On Whitebeard’s end, the fight intensified. The impromptu unexpected wedding seemed to have unlocked a new level of rage in the Marines’ Admiral, who was attacking the pirate even more ruthlessly than before. But Edward Newgate had made a promise, and he well intended to keep it. 

“As your captain and by the powers vested in me as such–” he started.

“Stop that!” Akainu roared. 

“ – I now pronounce you husband and wife!”

“NO!!”

“MARCO!” you shouted, “COVER US!”

The doctor immediately dove to the ground. “GOT IT!” 

Whitebeard let out a loud laugh. “You may now kiss the bride, boy!” 

Ace whipped toward you. You dropped your weapon to run to him. Somewhere in between that, Marco landed on the ground but you didn’t really notice. You reached for Ace, and he tugged you to him, taking your face in his hand and pulled you into a kiss. Blue flames erupted around, shielding you from the world for the briefest, blessed moment. 

Nothing else mattered. Not the fight, not the noise, not the raging turn the world had taken just now. It was just Ace and you. United, bonded for the rest of your lives. Forever and after, when the stars will fall down in the sea. 

Ace kissed you deeply, pouring all of his love into that embrace. He had waited for so long to find a reason to live, and finally, finally, it made sense. You made his life make sense. 

Arm circling his back, you gripped him impossibly closer, opening your mouth for his tongue to meet yours. It was like you wanted your bodies to melt together, just like your souls now were. You were his, and he was yours. As simple, as powerful as that. 

When air came to come short, you pulled away slightly ; only to offer Ace the same wide, bright smile he had on his own face. 

“I love you,” you breathed out. 

“And I love you,” he beamed, dropping a quick, equally passionate kiss on your lips. The flames conjured by Marco started to fade away, and you realized that you had to get back to the fight. You squeezed Ace’s hand. 

“Together?”

[Then]

Ace loved you like a devoted man. 

If someone asked him what his love language was – or whatever Thatch had said – he would have several answers. Quality time? Sure, he loved to spend as much time as he could with you, whenever you weren’t on a mission (sometimes ignoring whatever job Whitebeard had thrown at him). Physical touch? Definitely. This man's primary way of existing around others was being physically involved – would it be a pat on the shoulder, a shrug, a hug, anything. With you? It went from the soft, lingering kiss on the temple any time he came across you – with a warm “hey love” slipping in softly –, to the way his arm naturally finding his way around your waist or your shoulder, to the dozen gentle, or hurried, or heated kisses he drowned you into on a daily basis. Or the gentle squeeze of his fingers on your hips whenever he could ; or the way he buried his face in your neck, inhaling your scent and peppering your skin with hot kisses. Or the way he intertwined his fingers with yours, holding on tightly. 

Adding that to acts of service? It was borderline religious adoration. 

To Ace, you were a goddess, gracing his unworthy life with your presence and blessing him with your love. You were to be adored, and your body a temple he should worship. And worshiped you he did – with passionate dedication.

He would trail his warm hands on every inch of your skin, learning the curves and dips, burning this carnal map in his mind. He would note every hitch of your breath or moans when he roamed your body with his fingers and his lips, drinking in those sweet sounds with a hungry kiss. When you gripped his freckled shoulders, desperately needing more of him, Ace would oblige. He’d kiss your chest, his hot tongue tracing around your nipples like drawing in the sand. He’d suck on them and feel his heart miss a beat every time you’d sigh his name in a lusting plea. At that point, he’d known you’d want more – and he was but a simple, stupidly in love man so eagerly willing to provide. 

Ace had learned everything about that body he so ardently worshiped. He knew how you felt around his fingers when he slid them into you, curling them ever so slightly to bring those sweet moans out of you. How you’d arch against his pumping hand while he fingered you, kissing every inch of your neck. His skin runs so hot, you’d whimper at the slightest brush of his fingertips on your engorged clit. 

He had also learned that his favourite flavor was definitely how you tasted. Ace would (could and had) spend hours between your legs eating you out. He loved the feeling of your sweet essence dripping on his tongue and his face when he went down on you. No matter how his jaw might hurt by the end of it, he’d religiously suck on your clit whenever you two had sex. He would wrap one hand around your tight, caressing the soft underside of it while the other would thrust relentlessly in your pussy. The broken moans you’d let out on the building of your climax always made him moan, sending deep shivers through your whole body.  Sometimes the sensation of his tongue inside would be so strong you’d feel yourself shake under the sheer intensity of pleasure ; making Ace grin and unbelievably proud. 

Burying his face in your dripping pussy and making love to you with his tongue was definitely a favourite way of his to worship you. Especially when you clamped your tights around his head and tugged on his hair, pushing his face deeper to chase your own release. It always tore a groan out of him, the sharp sting of pain adding to the throbbing of his cock against the sheets. 

But above all, Ace could never get enough of being inside of you. When he’d draped himself over you, covering your body with his ; searching your lips with a deep, loving kiss before sinking his cock inside of you. The way his own breath hitched every time at the first few inches, or how you’d throw back your head against the pillows with a contended sigh. He’d peppered your face and neck with kisses as he pushed deeper into your wet heat, moaning at the warm sensation around his length. 

Your hand would claw over his bare back, grounding yourself on the overwhelming sensation of Ace’s body. He was so warm, so deep, so big, it always made your head spin a little. When Ace made love to you, he was everywhere. You could feel him all over your body, his ragged breaths against your ears, the taste of his skin on your tongue, his dark hair feeling soft through your fingers, the heat of his whole being enveloping you. With a roll of his hips, anything else apart from the two of you disappeared. You could only feel him, thrusting deep inside of you and pouring in all the love he had for you. 

And if you rode him? Gods had mercy on him, he could die a happy man. The sight of you bouncing on him, your body rolling so deliciously over his own was intoxicating. Ace’s hands would be gripping your hips while his half-lidded eyes heavy with lust drank in the mesmerizing sight of you. You always looked so beautiful, lips parted open with the prettiest moans, breasts bouncing in the rhythm of your hips grinding down on him. The tight clamping of your pussy on his dick was enough to make Ace see stars, leaving him a broken mess of strained moans and tears in his eyes when he felt himself cum. 

Bodies intertwined, united in every sense of the words and lips sealed on yours, that’s when Ace felt alive the most – and he adored you every single second of his life for that. 

Yeah, Ace was devoted to you. Mind, body and soul, without the slightest doubt. 

He had never thought of himself as a religious man, but he swore to any higher power that none of them had anything on you. He relished every one of your smiles, worshiped the ground you walked on, hell he several times forgot to carry on conversation with someone else just because you had walked by. 

“Ace,” Marco called him. 

The second division commander didn’t respond, engorged in the sight of you, casually talking to someone. 

“Oi,” the doctor called louder, snapping his finger in front of Ace’s face, “earth to Portgas. You’re still with us buddy?”

He hummed faintly, barely even acknowledging his friend ; he was far too busy drinking in the sight of his gorgeous girlfriend with a dopey smile. Sensing a familiar warm stare, you turned your head and your eyes immediately glinted in soft adoration at the sight of Ace. You smiled brightly at him and he swore his heart fluttered harder for a second. 

His smile turned into a beam as he toppled back to Marco, like he was suddenly light-headed. “Man, I love her,” he sighed.

“No shit,” Marco deadpanned – but he was secretly amused by the lovesick crewmate. 

“Did I ever tell you how amazing she is?” he insisted, leaning his cheek onto his palm, returning his gaze to you. “I don’t think I did.”

Marco chuckled lightly, shaking his head. “You’re hopeless, kid. I swear you could forget how to breathe by looking at her too much.”

“Fuck off man, I’m in love. And for the record,” he added with a proud puff of his chest, ”I can and I already have once thank you very much.” 

Marco shook his head again, a soft smile on his lips. As lovesick he might be, it was good to see Ace radiating with happiness. The doctor was glad his friend and his adopted little sister had found each other. The whole crew was happy for you, honestly. Even Whitebeard had given his blessing – somehow Ace had insisted on asking him? 

“If my children are happy together, then who am I to forbid you to love each other?” he had laughed loudly to a blushing, very formal yet slightly shy looking Ace who had just asked for his permission to date his adopted daughter. “You love her and she loves you son, as your captain I’m more than happy to give my blessing to the two of you!” 

“Thanks Pops,” Ace had chided with a shy grin, “I promise I’ll treat her right.”

The old man barked a hearty laugh, “You better do boy, or she’ll drown you herself!”  

The freckled man smiled sheepishly, knowing that the captain was right. But his father figure approved of his relationship with the girl he loved, so that was everything! Then Whitebeard put a hand on Ace's shoulder. 

“Just so you know son,” he confided with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, “as a captain, I do have the authority to officiate weddings on this ship.”

Ace’s eyes bulged, blood rushing to his cheeks. “I– ! Pops! W-we haven’t– we never–!!”

Whitebeard’s burst of laughter echoed throughout the entire ship. 

“Bwahaha! It’s just a thought, son, don’t get so worked up about it!”

Ace had never felt so mortified – yet so glad Pops approved of your relationship (more than approved even it seemed). 

“Seesh, uh– thanks for the info Pops,” Ace grinned shyly. “We’re not there yet but I’ll…keep that in mind?”

Whitebeard grinned at the boy’s embarrassment. “Don’t make a big deal of it, even with a wedding I don’t think Y/N could ever make an honest man out of you, boy!”

That made Ace bark a laugh too. He didn’t care about being made an honest man, you were already making him the happiest man. 

[Marineford]

Should the situation have been different, Ace would have been glad to have both you and Luffy by his side. 

Shortly after escaping the dreadful execution platform, you and Ace had ended up on the battlefield once again, fighting your way through to rally the rest of your crew. The two of you fought in sync, knowing each other’s fighting style like the back of your hands and how to complete it. You shielded each other, progressing toward your crew the best you could. 

At some point, a rubber boy had crashed into the confrontation, with a teeth-baring smile and youthful energy. 

“Yo Ace!” he greeted, throwing a punch at a nearby soldier. “Weren’t you chained like a minute ago?” 

The second division commander grinned at his younger brother. “Yeah, but my girl came to save me! She even scared Gramps away!”

Luffy guffawed at you, eyes bulging, “No way!”. He was so busy processing this information he didn’t notice a marine behind him ; fortunately you had noticed him and threw a punch to his face, knocking him off before he could stab your boyfriend’s little brother. 

The straw hat captain beamed at you. “Thank you lady!” 

You winked at him and offered a soft smile to Ace’s enamored face. Stars, even in the middle of chaos you were amazing. This was definitely not the time and place, but Ace felt this tingling need of gushing about how much he loved you to anyone who could hear. It was like a daunting, gut-rooted need, ready to burst out of his fluttering heart under the intensity of what he felt for you. 

A sudden flaming boulder crashed down nearby and the three of you wiped your heads around. A few feet away, Akainu had started a fight with several pirates of the crew – rage, bustling, scorching and inevitable just like the lava he fought with. Ace gritted his teeth, and you felt your heart sink at the sight. You had half forgotten about the Admirals since Luffy’s diversion, and hadn’t caught sight of any of them since. Even with the two brothers at your side, Whitebeard, Marco and all of the crew, you weren’t sure that you could take down three Admirals in a row. And by the looks of it, with how easily it was for the rageful marine to wipe away some of your crewmates, you were right to be wary of this battle’s outcome. 

Anxiety spiked through your heart and Ace seemed to sense it, offering you a reassuring sideway glance. With a slight nod, you shared your concerns – be careful around him. He nodded back, slightly reassuring you. Ace might be a hot head but he knew your concerns in the battlefield were always justified.

Somewhere, the ground shook violently and the booming voice of Whitebeard echoed. 

“Akainu! If you’re looking for a fight, come and face me instead of slaughtering my children, you coward!” 

The Admiral grunted and launched himself toward the Emperor, their clash rumbling through all of Marineford. Immediately, several crew members like Marco rushed to Whitebeard to help him with the marines backing up their own leader ; Ace, Luffy and you lost no time doing the same. 

Any other day, you could have made it. But you were tired, and even if he didn’t show it so was Ace. He was moving slower than usual, you were getting sloppier despite your best efforts and it caused you to not notice a blazing shard – collateral debris to one of Akainu’s attacks – coming in your way and grazing your arm. You yelped in pain, the burning sensation eating your skin like crazy. The cry of pain made Ace’s head snap in your direction – which was enough distraction for a soldier to punch him in the back and shove him on the ground. Like divine karma, another of Whitebeard’s earthquakes swallowed the guilty soldier before he could strike down Ace again. The flame user grunted as he pushed himself up on his feet again, and took a look around him. 

This was utter madness. A few minutes ago it seemed fine, like you could all make it back to the Moby Dick safely ; but now that he was truly looking at the battlefield, he realized he had been optimistic. Whitebeard was fighting with all of his might, but even the towering captain was showing signs of tiredness. Luffy threw punches everywhere, but his arms looked heavier every minute. On his left, you were helped up onto your feet by Marco, who had landed down to come to your rescue, before taking off once again in his phoenix form to come to his captain’s aid. Suddenly, a familiar feeling clutched Ace’s guts. The same cold, dreadful sensation he had felt when he had faced Blackbeard, just a moment before losing consciousness and he had realized he lost. Desperation. This fight was taking a very, very bad turn for all of you. Even if his pride screamed at him to fight, he knew that it wasn’t a good idea. All around him, his friends and family fought but were closer to meeting their end than winning despite their best efforts.

A call of his name pulled him out of his thoughts and he ducked just in time for you to take a swing of your sword, deflecting another lava rumble coming his way. 

“You okay?” you asked him hurriedly over your shoulder, throwing another punch to a marine. 

Ace looked at you and the world around him stilled for a second. You. It was you that had pulled him away from those spiralling thoughts again. Who had come all the way risking your life to save him. Just now, it was you who came to his rescue. It had always been you. 

In the middle of what might be his last battle, you shone like the beacon of hope that irradiated his whole life. The bustling emotion in his heart screamed louder this time ; as he punched his way to you, he recovered his voice. 

“Y/N!”

You turned to him, eyes wide, breath short and cheeks flushed. He stood there, chest heaving, bruised and tired, disheveled – and a burning passion shining in his eyes. The board smile slicing Ace’s face could tear the sky in two. 

[Then]

Whitebeard had seen a variety of things in his life ; some strange enough to turn a man crazy, some so beautiful it could make a stone cry. But there was a thing that Whitebeard had never seen until recently: love. 

Not the kind of familial, brotherly love or companionship, or lust – that he had seen plenty. But ever since you and Ace had met, he had the chance to witness something else: true, unconditional love. Edward Newgate was rather neutral on romantic relationships among his crew members – as long as it didn’t come in the way during missions or the collective life on the ship, he would allow it. Same went on sexual relationships, every crew member was an adult (since you had become one yourself, that’s it), he trusted them to be responsible for what they did in their free time. 

Still, even if he didn’t want to play favorites, Whitebeard had to admit he had watched the evolving relationship between you and Ace with attention. He considered all of his crew to be somehow his children, but he had actually raised you since you joined them ; and the Emperor would lie if he said he didn’t have a soft spot for Ace. So when he had noticed how his (almost) daughter and the new fiery kid were interacting, he had watched closely. And what he saw might have actually surprised him ; where he had always thought true love to be a myth, Whitebeard had been met with a deep and honestly pure love blooming between his two protégés.

One could have objected that this kind of relationship might one day turn out to be an obstacle, should you two break up. After witnessing your relationship building and thriving, Whitebeard had no doubt that would never happen. The bond that united Ace to you was stronger than any higher power Newgate had ever seen – and again, he had seen a lot. 

Since Ace and you confessed your love to another, life seemed to smile onto you. You had your family, went on missions to help wherever you could, navigated through the seas and could swim to your heart’s content, and slept in the arms of the man you loved every night. It was a blessing to be loved by Portgas D. Ace. He was a kind and warm presence that warmed up your day even when he wasn’t with you ; he was attentionate, fun and you felt like his smile could solve all of your problems. And when you were in his arms, it felt like you were finally whole. You never thought of yourself as being a selfish person, but when you laid in Ace’s arms the world could burn you wouldn’t care in the slightest. 

And the cherry on top? Ace was getting better. 

As the day passed, Ace seemed to be brought to life little by little ; for real this time, not only in public. The path to healing wasn’t a straight line, none of you had expected to fix Ace’s problems in the blink of an eye just because you two were now together. Some days were easier, some were rough. Despite all your efforts to support him, loving him and being an attentive ear, Ace still struggled to unravel from his anxiety and toxic habits. It had taken him some time to come around the fact he had been struggling with depression. He had always been all smiles and sunshine, with an easy-going personality; depression was a strong word he never thought it’d concern him. 

Thankfully you were here. Every time he was insecure and felt himself spiralling again, you were here to support him – sometimes quite literally. When nagging thoughts about his own worth were too much, you were here to listen. On nights he woke up in a cold sweat, chest constricting and unable to breathe under the crushing anxiety, the soft embrace of your arms and the thumping of your heart against his ear calmed him down immediately, grounding him. You had become his anchor, the one who prevented him from drowning – figuratively and literally. 

[Marineford]

For the briefest moment, the battlefield felt silent. 

In front of the marines, of his crew, of the whole world to see, Whitebeard was struck. Stabbed by one of his own. 

Ace couldn’t believe it. Pops was the strongest person he knew, he was a respected captain – how could that happen? The crippling guilt that had already been eating him up came back with another strong sting. That would have never happened if he hadn’t been here. Whitebeard wouldn’t have been injured, and you –

Wait. He snapped back to reality. Where were you? 

Ace looked around frantically. The shock of the attack on his captain had made him freeze in shock long enough to lose sight of you. For the second time in a span of a few minutes, he felt his heart drop again. 

No. No, no, no, no, no, he couldn’t lose you. 

His vision blurred, head starting spinning with crushing panic. All around the fight seemed to have started again, but there was no trace of you anymore. Oh gods, did something happen to you? Ace barely even noticed the loud arrival of a new ship – through the sky, damnit –, his mind was solely focused on finding you. Then he heard it. The loud, desperate call of his name slicing through the air. He blinked hard and his eyes found you. 

He felt his heart flutter in relief. You were still here. Running, cheeks flushed and hair blown in every direction with the wind ; and that burning spark of love glittering in your eyes no matter what. You were sprinting, dodging any attack that came in your way, ducking at a nearby projectile meant for someone else. But nothing – nothing – could take your focus away from Ace. Not the wind, not the burning of your limbs under the fatigue, not the noises ; not even the towering silhouettes of the three Admirals. It was useless to pretend you weren’t afraid of them, standing tall as the last obstacle standing between you and the execution platform. Still you braced yourself for the confrontation – you had promised yourself you’d do anything to save Ace. Including getting into a frontal fight with three Marines Admirals, it seemed. Was that stupid? Probably. Were you going to give up? Hell no. 

All the three men stared down at you. One looked bored, barely even acknowledging you – maybe because he knew you weren’t posing much of a threat to them. Another raised an eyebrow, wondering who you were and why someone would be stupid enough to sacrifice themselves for a boy’s life. The third had rage burning behind his eyes, and it seemed that the sole presence of all those pirates in Marines’ territory was a personal affront to him. The intensity of his hateful gaze sent a cold shiver down your spine, and you squared your shoulders for the upcoming confrontation. 

Then all of a sudden, you felt something wrap itself around your middle and yank you back – just in time to watch a hurling pit of magma crash where you had stood a second before. A shriek escaped you out of surprise, and another when you crashed down on whatever had whipped you off of your feet. Which was surprisingly…stretchy? Looking up, you were met with the view of a younger man with dark hair, a curved scar running under his eye and a somehow familiar straw hat. 

Ace had talked about Luffy on many occasions. Always fondly, about their childhood and all the incredible stories with him and Sabo, or about the updates he heard about him, with the warm love of a proud older brother. Ace had even taken time to call you with a den-den mushi when he was in Alabasta, so excited to share the news of his reunion with his little brother. 

For what you had heard about him, you were surprised to see Luffy looking so serious. 

His gaze was fixed on the three admirals, burning holes in them like it could make them disappear and get him to Ace quicker. Even without ever meeting him, you were glad Luffy was here. 

The younger man turned to you, his face changing to a bright smile on the spot. 

“You lady must be Y/N!” he greeted, putting you on the ground – and you just noticed that the thing that had wrapped around you to pull you away from Akainu’s attack was his actual arm. 

“Yeah,” you finally croaked, your brain finally reconnecting, “nice to finally meet you Luffy, thanks for the rescue.” 

The boy smiled brightly, “Of course! I couldn’t let Ace’s girl get hurt!”

Hearing him calling Ace’s girl made you beam. You had expected Ace to mention you to Luffy, but having his little brother addressing you as such made you giddy. The young captain grinned at you once more before returning his focus on the three Admirals, his face closing up immediately. 

“Get to Ace,” he said briskly. “I’m taking care of them.” 

The resemblance between him and Ace at that moment, so intense and serious about protecting someone he loved, struck you for a second. He glanced at you, and you nodded. 

You both moved at the same time ; Luffy hurled a huge wooden mast and you used that to bolt away, rushing to the bottom of the execution platform. You didn’t even wait to check if the diversion had worked, you jumped on the wooden structure and started climbing it. Splinters dug into your palms and muscles cried out in protestation but you pushed that down and climbed faster. Finally, you reached the top of the platform and hoisted yourself up before snapping your head up – and met a familiar freckled face. 

Ace’s breath hitched as he mouthed your name, unable to find his voice. He hadn’t seen you for so long, months since he had chased down Blackbeard, it almost felt surreal having you so close again. When he had seen you on the Moby Dick across the battlefield, it had felt like a sick illusion, a fever dream playing with his mind. Even when you had fought your way closer and closer to him, a part of Ace had had a hard time realizing that it was really you, that you had crossed the world and hell to get him back. 

But you were here, he realized with tears brimming in his eyes, you had come for him. You’d always find your way back to him. 

Jumping on your feet you took a step onward, ready to jump on him and get him free of his restraints – until a giant shadow covered you both. You looked up and met with the imposing form of the Vice-Admiral Monkey D. Garp. 

For a handful of seconds, the three of you stared at each other in a dense, suspended moment. You glaring up at Garp, assessing the man and bracing yourself for the upcoming fight ; the Vice-Admiral narrowing his eyes at you, like he was trying to see through you ; Ace’s eyes burning holes into his grandfather, halfway between a glare and a silent beg to spare you. 

Garp’s fist clenched. You gripped the handle of your weapon a little tighter. 

“Step away girl,” the older man grumbled, “you shouldn’t be here.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “You shouldn't be here. How fucking dare you standing on the same side as those who are trying to kill your grandson ?”

“He brought that on himself.”

“Shut the fuck up,” you gritted your teeth. 

In a blink of an eye, his fist crashed down onto you and you blocked it with your sword. The Vice-Admiral made punches rain without a second of rest, unyielding and restless. He was a massive agent of unwavering justice, and you made your best to parry every single one of his strikes. You dodged the best you could, trying to prevent any punch to land nearby Ace and getting him hurt. Garp may be a ruthless mountain of muscles, but you were quick and knew how to keep a defensive strategy. You knew you just had to tire him out, and at the first opportunity for an opening, you’d make your attack. 

A moment of inattention was all it took. Maybe too hasty, Garp lost his balance for the briefest second and you lunged at him. The steel of your sword sliced his side and he staggered, grunting in surprise. The marine clutched his side and looked down at his hand, soaked in blood. It wasn’t that serious, you had sliced his uniform and skin and the wound wasn’t deep. But you had struck him. 

Garp looked up to you ; teeth bared, in a defensive stance, you were standing in front of Ace ready to pounce back into the fight. He could crush you like a bug, Garp had honestly thought so – how harmful can you be, a mere spy with no devil fruit? He definitely hadn’t expected you to put on such a fight. Above that, Garp hadn’t expected you to fight so fiercely for Ace. 

When he had come to talk to him in Impel Down, Ace had mentioned you to Garp. Briefly, without much details – he hadn’t even given him your name. But Garp had sensed how important this girl was to his grandson. He didn’t really believe that Ace would be foolish enough to fall in love, given his legacy ; that it was a stupid, rash decision to put so much weight on someone else out of sheer infatuation. 

But now? Now you were here, ready to shield that boy with your body, to throw yourself in front of any harm that could come to his way, with the rage of a true warrior. If anything, you could someday pride yourself that you surprised Monkey D. Garp. 

The older marine took a second to sink in that vision. Of his grandson and his girl, ready to do anything to protect him. Something Garp had never been able to do. 

He raised his fist once again, making you brace for the upcoming new attack. But instead of diving right to you, he dodged the trajectory last second and crushed down behind Ace. 

“ACE!” you cried out. 

You cough harshly due to the smoke, squinting your eyes trying to see what happened. When the dust settled, your eyes widened. Ace was fine, still kneeling on the platform – but he was staring down in disbelief at his own hands, at his freed  hands. The heavy chains and lock that had been holding him down laid behind him, crushed to pieces. 

You blinked, gaping without a word ; Ace glanced up to you, equally speechless. After another moment of confusion, you looked at Garp. His back was to the both of you, shoulders hunched and fist clenched. 

“I didn’t see you here,” he grumbled – and was that a slight wavering in his voice? “You kids go.”

Ace’s eyes widened, lips trembling. “Gramps…”

“I said go,” he grunted. “Before anyone notices.” 

Despite everything you thought about him, your heart clenched a bit for the older man. Garp was trying to make amends somehow ; he hadn’t protected Ace in his life, now was the time to redeem himself (even if it wasn’t much). The Vice-Admiral glanced at you over his shoulder – and you gave him a brief nod of acknowledgement. Then the Vice-Admiral turned back and stepped down the platform, disappearing in the background without another word. 

In a flash you dropped to your knees and threw your arms around Ace – and he immediately returned the embrace, his arms circling you without thinking. His breath shuddered at the contact, inhaling deeply your scent like it was the very air he needed. A wet drop tingled his neck and he realized that you were crying. 

“Ace,” you whimpered, “you’re okay, thanks stars you’re okay.”

Despite your tears your voice was full of relief, and Ace gripped you even tighter. The more he felt your body against him, smelled the scent of your hair, the raging thumping of your heart against his chest, the more it finally made him realize you were really here and that it wasn’t a fucked up dream. 

A sob wrecked his throat. “You’re here…you’re really here…”

You let out a broken laugh, throat heavy with emotion, “Of course I am. I promised I’ll never leave you alone, didn’t I?”

That pulled another wrecked sob out of him. Those simple words. They were enough to make his heart soar with love, so much it was also painful. He peeled himself off, just slightly to be able to look at you. His dark eyes drank in the sight of you ; all he was seeing was relief, tiredness, and unwavering, unconditional love. Beautiful. 

“I love you,” he breathed out. It was barely above a whisper, but so, so full of passion. 

The smile that graced your lips could light up the entire sky. Grabbing his cheeks, you pulled him for a kiss, deep and short and poured with ever lasting bits of your adoration. 

“I love you too,” you responded once you let go of his lips. “Now come on, let’s get out of here.” 

Ace grinned, and for the first time in weeks, he felt hopeful. Grabbing your hand, he jumped on his feet, ready to finally take part in the fight. 

“Luffy’s here,” you mentioned as Ace looked around, trying to see where everyone was. 

“Really?” he gasped – but it quickly turned into a grin. “Man, he’s probably even stronger now!” 

You smiled at his evident thrill of seeing his brother again.

 A whistle shrilled through the air above your heads, and you snapped up to a piercing cannonball hurled straight at you. 

“Ace!” you shouted. 

The freckled pirate tugged you into an embrace, “I got this!”

Knowing what to do, you clinged into him and snapped your eyes shut. A sudden intense warmth enveloped you, caging the two of you into a protective fiery wall. Ace’s flames never frightened you ; you knew he had full control on his powers, and as reckless as he might appear he knew what he was doing. And moreso, you knew that Ace would never hurt you. So when he tugged you in and wrapped you into a scorching wall of flames, you had a blind trust in him.

Even with your eyes closed, you could hear sizzling noises of the melting canon balls against the flames. After a few seconds the fire disappeared, remains of melted iron laying at your feet. You cracked an eye open, meeting Ace’s grinning face. He dropped a quick peck on your lips before nodding to the battlefield. 

“Shall we?”

Smiling back, you gripped his hand in return and unsheathed your sword with the other. “We shall.”

[Marineford]

Despite the lump in his throat and the smoke choking him, Ace wanted to scream. 

Watching his crewmates, his family, getting in a bloodshed without being able to do anything was the worst kind of torture. Impel Down almost felt like a vacation compared to that. 

None of them should be here ; from the moment he had been handed to the Marines, Ace knew they would try to lure his crew into a trap. Seeing all of it unfold was the punishment he deserved for leading all of them to meet their demise. 

And when he saw you on the other side of the battlefield? Gods, that was the last nail in his coffin. In the middle of chaos, noises and smoke, here you were standing tall and rushing through the warzone. A beacon of hope staring right back at him with wide, worried eyes, struggling your way to get to him. 

Ace wanted to wail, to scream at you to get back to the ship and flee the farthest you could. But nothing he would say could stop you – or any of the crew.

Everywhere he looked, Ace saw them fighting. Marco transformed into his phoenix form, slicing through the air ; Jozu in an intense battle with a warlord and saving you just in time – thanks the stars ; Whitebeard, standing tall and proud and raising hell on the grounds. And you, oh you, rushing to him like nothing could stop you. 

He had felt his heart stop when Mihawk’s blade had almost cut your throat. Thankfully you had parred it, but Ace didn’t quite regain his breath until Jozu’s miraculous intervention and your quick getaway. 

Beside him, Garp watched over the battlefield in cold neutral stare. 

“This is on you, boy. If you’re looking for who’s guilty for this fucking debacle, remember that it’s all because of you.” 

Despite not wanting to show any emotion to the old man, Ace felt tears roam on his face. This was wrong, all of this was so fucking wrong. 

Every second here put you in danger and it was solely his fault. Had he not been blinded by his revenge on Teach, or maybe more careful, you would never have ended up here, risking your life for him. 

He never wanted you, above all people, risking your life for him. As much as you had helped him realize otherwise, right here, Ace thought that he would do anything to prevent you from sacrificing yourself for his useless, meaningless life.  

He never thought much of his own life, but he was terrified at the idea you could lose yours. Because if that happened, he really would have no reason left to be alive.

[Then]

Since your talk with Marco about Ace’s self-destructing tendencies, you had tried to talk to him about it. But every single time, Ace brushed it off. 

“It was just harmless fun!”. When you had brought up him rushing carelessly into a battle. Ace had come back with two broken ribs and a concussion. 

“Aw come on, I can’t let Izou get hurt, we’ll miss him too much”. When you had scolded him for throwing himself in front of the crewmate a bullet was meant to.

“Don’t worry your pretty head too much, I'll be fine”. When you had asked him if he had slept or got some food in the past two days when he had recently stepped up as second division commander. The bags under his eyes had made your stomach churn ; Ace had brushed it away with a kiss on your cheek. 

It was a long-lost battle. Ever since you had realized that Ace might have self-sabotage tendencies, you couldn’t see his warm laughs and broad smiles the same way. 

Worry hadn’t been the only thing eating you up during that time. If a part of you was worried about Ace and felt guilty for not knowing how to help him, another part had tried to do the exact opposite. When you tried to figure out why the fire fruit user was acting out like this, a part of you was trying to convince yourself it wasn’t any of your business. Being worried about Ace and spending so much energy trying to figure him out had cost you — your sleep, your calm, hell even your own self-preservation. It was only logical that a part of you wanted to try to protect yourself. 

So for a time, you were torn internally ; how could you fall in love with someone so kind, so passionate and honest, and at the same time rejecting it. Only by fear of being hurt by the very traits that had you fall for Ace? It just didn't make any sense. 

The more you and Ace got closer — emotionally and physically — and the more he seemed to punish himself. And you knew he had feelings for you too, that’s what made him even more unbearable. 

And one day, you had had enough. 

“What the fuck is your problem, Ace?! Do you want to fucking die or something?”

Okay, admittedly you hadn’t planned on bringing up the subject so violently. By the way the freckled pirate gaped at you, neither did he. 

It had been a shitty couple of days, with a shitty mission getting to a shitty unplanned fight. It had been messy, and Ace, you and the other two members of the team had found yourself surrounded with way more marines than you had expected. Still you all fought with everything you had, and at some point you had found an opening for a strategic retreat. Your two other companions took the opportunity and so did you, but as you glanced to check if Ace was following – he didn’t. The foolish, hot headed bastard was still fighting marines on his own. He didn’t need to, he could escape easily with you guys instead, there was no need for fighting anymore to allow your run. But here he was, fighting the soldiers he was facing and the ones that had been your and the other pirates’ adversaries before. On his own, facing all of those soldiers while he was losing cardio, strength and energy from the mission. 

This wasn’t bravery or tactical stalling, this was Ace being a reckless idiot. 

By some sheer luck, everyone had managed to get out of the fight without too much harm and your team had made its way back to the Moby Dick. You hadn’t said a word during the entire trip, your concerns morphing into boiling rage as you stepped on the ship. The other team members and you had been sent to the infirmary to check on your wounds while Ace was meeting with Whitebeard to make a report on the somehow still half-successful mission. But instead of making your way to your room to get some rest, you had barged into Ace’s the second he got there ; and you definitely didn’t give him the friendly meet up he had expected. 

“Wha– what do you mean?” he asked, perplexed and taken aback by your furious tone. 

Crossing the room in enraged steps you angrily poked his chest. “Don’t play dumb with me Portgas, what the fuck was that back there?”

Ace blinked at you, not really sure of what to say. He had never seen you that furious, even less against him – and he was starting to feel kind of guilty about it. 

“Fighting two dozen marines on your own, seriously? God, even a barnacle has a better survival instinct than this!”

“Hey,” he huffed in a hurt tone, “easy, what is all of that for? We made it through didn’t we? No need to get so worked up about this.” 

You nostrils flared at his audacity. He really didn’t see the issue? How dense could he be?

“You almost didn’t!” you cried out, throwing hands in the air in annoyance. 

Ace looked away, suddenly finding the wall over his bunk very interesting. “So?” he shrugged. 

That made you choke on air for a second. “So? ‘so’??? For fuck’s sake Ace, what do you mean ‘so’? It’s about you having a death wish or something, don’t you ‘so’ me!” 

The way your tone got trembling despite being angrier made him flinch. But still, he decided to be stubborn. “Careful Y/N. You’re addressing your commander, and I’m the one who was in charge of the mission, not you.” 

A real dick move, but Ace rather had you hating him for that than having you worrying about him. He didn’t deserve that. 

Unfortunately, you were too exasperated with him to let that slide. 

“Oh don’t pull ranks on me here!” you said accusingly, pointing a finger at him. “You could have died there, and I’m the one at fault because I worry about you throwing your life away?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Ace gritted. God, why couldn’t you drop the subject? 

“The fuck it does!” 

Ace turned his back to you for a moment, nervously threading a hand in his hair. He wasn’t angry at you – gods no, he never could – but at himself. Even when he wanted to protect people he cared about, he was doing everything wrong. He was such a failure. 

A silence passed before he opened his mouth again. “It wouldn’t have mattered if I had died there,” he repeated slowly. He still had his back to you, not wanting to meet your stare. “You and the others got out, it’s what matters.” 

“We would have made it without you putting yourself in useless danger,” you spat. “I thought you would die Ace, so yeah I guess that makes me a hysterical bitch for worrying about you.”

A normal person would have turned around and dropped to their knees apologizing and telling how wrong they were. Ace didn’t. Instead he preferred being a coward, having his tattooed back face you rather than doing it himself. 

His silence was eloquent enough. “Wow,” you bitterly breathed out. “Real classy, Ace.” 

He squeezed his eyes at your wounded tone. He shouldn’t have gotten that close with you, he knew he would only end up hurting you. He gripped his hair tighter, the pain from his scalp hurting him like a deserved punishment.

Ace waited for you to run off, slam the door and throw insults at him. But after a long, long moment of silence he slowly turned around – and found you standing right in the same spot. Arms crossed, staring right back at him in a mix of determination, anger and sadness lingering. At that moment, Ace felt really small. 

Not having expected you to still be there, Ace blinked several times. Sensing his disarray and lack of words, you lifted your chin higher in defiance. 

“You have a problem Ace,” you repeated, more calmly than before (but Ace could still hear the tremors of angry worry). “And I’m not leaving this room until we finally talk about it.” 

He swallowed thickly, the lump in his throat growing every second. Ace felt cornered, but the way you looked so determined, so adamant on helping him despite his best efforts…that was breaking his heart. 

His lack of response encouraged you to continue. “You act like your life doesn’t matter,” you said carefully. Almost in a whisper, but you wanted him to hear you. And by the way his breath slightly hitched, you knew you were on the right track. “You’re self sabotaging and you’re pushing everyone who worries about you away, even if you seek their company. You’re burning the candle on both ends, Ace.”

“That’s not true,” he tried to deny. “I– I’m not suicidal or anything I…” But deep down, he knew you were right and the flash of pain in his eyes made your heart squeeze. 

Slowly uncrossing your arms, you slowly took a step closer to Ace, who had a million thoughts running in his head. It felt so weird to say that out loud, but he wasn’t suicidal, he – he wasn’t, he couldn’t, right? A gentle hand came tentatively on his arm, trying to ground him. Ace snapped out of the swirl of intrusive thoughts to anchor his eyes in yours. What he found was no more anger, but only deep concern and a softness so characteristically yours he had come to adore. 

Your hand that had been on his arm slid into his palm, squeezing it reassuringly. 

“I think that you are, Ace.” you said softly. “Because I know you, and that’s why it doesn’t make any sense so I need your help to understand. You’re kind,” you continued, trying to offer him a smile, “you’re brave, and everything seems brighter when you’re around. We’re so lucky to have you in our lives, every person on his ship would give their life for you Ace.”

“That’s not true,” he whispered, not believing that anyone could think that of him. But if Ace knew something, it was that you would never lie to him. 

“It is,” you insisted, squeezing his hand. “You’re the only one who doesn't value your own life and doesn’t seem to care about it, why?”

A dry sob escaped him. “I don’t matter that much,” Ace confessed, his voice breaking a little, “sometimes it feels like no matter what I do, I still shouldn’t exist.”

There it was. The knot of the problem. The ultimate explanation, and cause of why you were helplessly watching that man you had fallen for destroy himself. Tears were threatening to fall, but you couldn’t let yourself break just yet. Ace was finally opening up, and you had to be strong – for the both of you.

“That’s bullshit,” you scoffed softly. “You can tell yourself that, but you can’t convince Marco, Pops, Luffy, Sabo, or anyone that loves you about that. You can’t–”

“Do you?” he interrupted. 

“What?”

He hesitated a second before asking softly. “Love me?”

A beat passed. Your eyes were still anchored into his, unable to look away. They seemed endless, a pitch black infinity ; yet something was shining in them. Something unmistakable, that you had seen in Ace’s eyes several times on different occasions, but only realizing now what it was. Guilt, and hope. 

He squeezed your hand, this time. As a reminder that he was holding on to you, that he would be here for you no matter what. It had also been a long second since none of you spoke. And honestly, deep down you already knew your answer. 

“Yes,” you whispered, “I do, Ace.” 

His eyes widened and his shoulders slumped – like a weight had been taken from them. You had known for quite a time that you loved Ace. It started with your friendship, built on the moments shared, and strengthened every time you had seen him interact with others and with you – warm, kind, and sensible. Marco hadn’t had to do much when he had tried to make you realize your feelings. 

Ace felt overwhelmed – in the greatest sense. The girl he had been heads over heels since his first week aboard the ship, his dearest friend, was actually returning his feelings? You loved him? He couldn’t believe it. Not only did he think he wasn’t worthy of it, but he was also someone who wore his heart on his sleeve ; he had figured that if you had been interested in him beyond friendship, you would have acted out way sooner. 

Sensing his brain starting to build the argument of him not being worthy again, you put a finger on his lips. 

“I love you because you’re you,” you said softly. “There’s nothing you could say to change that. If you don’t love me that’s fine, but please let a friend help yo–”

You couldn’t finish your sentence because Ace has tugged you into the tightest hug he could. He had wrapped his arms around you into a warm embrace, his face hidden in your hair. Immediately, your own arms came to circle his back. He was warm, his breath was fanning against your ear and his heart thumped against his chest ; and for some reason, those few indications made your own heart soar almost to tears. Ace was alive. After the past few months and the building worrying you had piled up, this mere thought was worth everything.

Ace hugged you for a long time. Soaking in the comfort of your body against his – gods he missed that –, amplified by the thought of you loving him. Inhaling your scent, so familiar and cherished. Relaxing under the caress of your hands on his back, the feeling so reassuring it felt it was infusing a renewed will of living in him. His grip tightened slightly around you, suddenly fearing that you could disappear. Stars, he loved you so much it hurt. 

“I love you too,” he whispered against your ear – and you distinctly felt your heart miss a beat. “I’m sorry I’ve been such an idiot for letting you think otherwise.” 

You pulled away slightly, enough to look at his gorgeous face. Ace looked torn apart between the immense relief and love he felt, and the crippling guilt ; on the spot, you vow to eradicate every guilty thought he would ever have. Because that is what he deserved, no matter what he said. 

Your hands came to cup his face with tender care. 

“You’re the idiot I love,” you said fervently, “that’s enough for me.” 

A soft, dopey grin stretched Ace’s lips and his eyes lit up like you hang up all the stars in the sky. One of his hands cradled your neck, guiding you and you met him halfway in a searing kiss. Although it wasn’t the first time the two of you kissed, it felt just like it all over again. His lips were soft against yours, kissing you like no tomorrow and you couldn’t help the breathy moan from escaping them. One of your hands stayed on his face, cradling his cheek while the other had found itself buried in his hair. You parted your lips ever slightly and Ace seized the opportunity to slide his tongue between them, seeking your own – that found him instantanely. His hands squeezed your hips and your neck, pulling you flush against him ; he never wanted to let you go ever again, he'd be damned if he ever did. 

At some point, you had to part away to get some oxygen. You parted slightly, cheeks flushed and chest heaving. Through half lidded eyes, you could see that Ace was in the same state and it almost made you giggle. But you weren’t ready to part from him just yet so you gently pressed your forehead against his. Ace closed his eyes once again, relishing in the physical proximity like the very air he needed to breathe. 

“I love you,” you whispered again. “Please Ace…please don’t think you’re not worthy of living…I can’t…I won’t be able to do this without you…”

Ace swallowed slowly. He had been a selfish prick long enough, and if there was anyone he trusted with his (useless) life, it was definitely you. So for the first time, Portgas D. Ace thought that maybe he did deserve to be helped. 

He opened his eyes, slowly ; his hand on your hip gripped a little more tightly, as if to ground himself. Then, he asked in a small voice. 

“I think there’s something wrong with me,” he muttered. Tears were shining in the corners of his eyes, and a single treacherous drop rolled on his freckled cheek. “I want to talk to you about this, can you…can you help me? Please?”

His tone made your heart squeeze. This was the biggest leap of faith Ace had ever made in his whole life. 

“Of course,” you breathed out gently. “I’ll be there every step of the way, Ace.”

That night, Ace had told you everything. His childhood – the complete version, not only the parts he had already shared with you –, his lineage, how he hated the thought of being Roger’s son. How guilty he felt of being alive, how he threw himself into his relationships with others to have a small feeling of being useful for someone. How painful it was, to have the intrusive thoughts of being worthless, less than nothing. How easy it felt sometimes to brush the thought of sacrificing himself in hope his life would ultimately have some purpose – or to take the matter into his own hands and make himself disappear. 

Laying in his bed, entangled in his arms, you had listened to his every word. Tears had rolled on your cheeks, your heart tearing up as you heard him unfold his deepest insecurities – and the terrible thoughts that plagued him. When Ace had finished, you had kissed him senseless, pouring all of your love into your embrace. From this day on, you made a promise to yourself to heal every single one of his fears, to show him how essential he was to you. From this day on, Ace got better. 

With your help and your love, the two of you maneuvered into a healthy, steady relationship. He brightened your days and your life effortlessly, and you made him cherish his life by loving him. As the days went, at some point you both wondered how you could have lived before loving the other. It felt that you had only lived a tamed, surface life before ; now, you both embraced it to the fullest, and nothing could make your love and trust in each other waiver. And it felt so natural, so damn easy. He was made for you, and you for him. 

So yeah, falling in love with Portgas D. Ace sure had been a bit of a rollercoaster. But loving him? To you, it was as easy as breathing. 

[Then]

Ace was a sun. Warm, friendly, welcoming. Burning, passionate, radiating everywhere he went. He gathered people effortlessly, acclimating in the Withebeard’s crew like he had always been here. And you liked him, you really did. He was a kind guy, always polite if sometimes a little flirty, and he genuinely cared about everyone in the crew. At first the two of you only came across each other every now and then, in the galley or in between meetings, or during the crew’s infamous celebrations. You two would talk lightly – he’d tell you about his first adventures as a newbie pirate, you’d tell him how it was to grow up on the Moby Dick. 

You had been an orphan in a village known for its community of freediver women. Like a few other orphans, you had never really known who your parents were, no one had really told you and it had never been relevant. Some of the oldest freedivers had taught you the ropes, and it had been your means of survival until you were ten or so. Then Whitebeard had come to your island ; you wanted to see more of the world while staying close to the sea. The crew needed someone who could swim and dive well enough to make repairs and maintenance on the hull. The next day, you had sailed with them. 

Ace always listened with great interest. His own stories with his brothers were fun, each bringing a soft and hearty atmosphere every time he told them. Even when he came back from a mission Whitebeard had assigned him, Ace radiated with brightness. 

And that’s exactly why you had been cautious. 

Because all of this charm, all this intensity must have its downsides. Yes, you had come to like the guy, maybe a bit more than just a friendly crewmate – the first semi-drunk makeout session you two had shared at Marco’s birthday party hadn’t helped maintain the "acquaintances only” line. Ace was fun to be around, he had a big heart and an ever bigger smile, and he was passionate in everything he did (especially kissing, stars the way he had kissed you–). 

But Ace burned, and that’s why you didn’t really want to fall for him at first. He was a man who burned so bright, so fast, you couldn’t help but wonder why he did so. He seemed to pour so much intensity into every aspect of his life, his relationships with others, his fights, his dreams, it seemed that in fact, Ace was making up for something else. Something cold and hollow that frightened him, should he admit it or not. 

[Marineford]

Crashing inelegantly on your feet, you didn’t spare a second before bolting through the field. 

Flashes of gunshots and steel clashing around you didn’t make you deflect from your goal – the execution platform.  

A bullet grazed your ear, and you briskly dodged it just in time. This acted as a mental slap and you forced yourself to concentrate and focused on spreading your observation haki. Detecting soldiers and enemies, analyzing their position in a blink of an eye and deviating your path to get to Ace quicker by avoiding any confrontation. 

You were able to fight of course. Years growing up among the crew made that happen, you supposed. But your true strength laid elsewhere ; you were quick-thinking, observant and fast. You knew engaging in a fight right now would only delay you from reaching Ace. Instead you observed, adapted, dodged. Returning quick, precise hits when it was necessary to continue through the battle. 

Your eyes rarely broke away from his stare. It was as if as long as you could see him, it would be alright, you would arrive just in time. 

The hair on the back of your neck tingled suddenly. A rush of air split above your head and in a quick reflex you unseathed your sword to block the incoming blade – almost a second too late. Steel of a large sword squeaked against your own, as you struggled to keep enough pressure to put it away from your face. Behind the steel, yellow pupils stared right back at you. Standing tall in the middle of the chaotic battlefield, Mihawk merely raised an eyebrow. 

“Good parry,” the warlord noted calmly, “I didn’t expect a little mouse from the Whitebeard crew to be able to catch it.”

Gritting your teeth, you switched your body weight to dodge the weight of his blade, throwing yourself at a good distance. “I’m not here to fight with you Mihawk,” you said, glancing around hoping to find some help from your crewmates. 

He swung his sword with precise moves, slicing through the air – almost cutting you down if you had not dodged every one of them skillfully. 

The swordsman tilted his head slightly. “Impressive. I must say, you’re not quite what I was expecting. Maybe you might be sort of an interesting opponent after all.” 

“Don’t overestimate me.”

As flattering as Mihawk’s praise could have been, you weren’t stupid. Yes, you could probably continue to dodge his attacks for quite a time – you had studied the style of every Whitebeard’s enemies, and his fighting patterns were predictable. But you weren't foolish enough to think you could match him in a fight. 

The warlord raised his sword once again, and you braced yourself for the impact. But as the sword fell back on you, a giant shadow stepped between you and the weapon, catching the hit with a clash of steel. You stared at the back of your providential saviour, only to have him look back over his shoulder. 

“Go,” Jozu grumbled, “get to Ace, kid.” 

Silently thanking him with a nod, you bolted once again toward the platform. You could make it to him, you would. No matter what it would take, you would make your way back to Ace. 

[Then]

It took you a few months to get him. Coming around on who was really Portgas D. Ace – and in the process, getting closer to him, which you had not really planned – had been sort of a riddle. 

That was your thing after all ; gathering intel, analyzing people and strategies. You had no demon fruit, and despite your immaculate swimming skills, you had realized growing up that you needed to be more than that to stay useful in the crew. So you had studied, trained to become a pretty decent swordwoman, and put your biggest advantage to use: you were nobody. It hadn’t been common knowledge that a girl was growing up on the Moby Dick, and because you had never really taken part in battles, you had stayed relatively anonymous in other pirates’ (and marines) radar. That made you the most qualified to become a spy. 

Gathering intel for the Whitebeard crew, analyzing other people fighting skills, sometimes giving insight on strategies, that was your job and you were pretty good at it. 

And Portgas D. Ace was a damn difficult man to read. 

He shouldn’t be, his easy-going sunny personality shouldn’t raise suspicions, right? Well, because it was blinding, you suspected that it was only deflecting some other things he wasn’t too keen to face. And it had bothered you from the start. First as a fellow crewmate, then as a friend. When you had mentioned it to your captain, Whitebeard had asked you if you thought that Ace was a spy himself. Despite how curious you were then, you had to admit that it was most likely that he wasn’t. 

“He’ll come around in his own time,” Whitebeard had said. “Give him time, girl.”

The spy in you had to admit it wouldn’t be a good strategy to confront him frontally about it. Ace had shown a deep devotion to his newfound family, and once again, he really was a nice guy. Nothing had ever indicated he could have nefarious intentions. So why were you so intrigued by the possibility that there maybe was something more to the sunny character he presented? 

The answer had come slowly, as the two of you grew closer. 

Maybe it was because you both were roughly the same age, or because conversations fled easily between you. As the weeks had passed and the missions went on, Ace and you grew closer as friends – even as something slightly more on that infamous party for Marco’s birthday. 

It had been a joyful celebration, one like the crew was used to, with alcohol, music  and food consumed to all of your heart’s content. At some point later in the evening, you had stepped away from the party, seeking a few moments of calm and fresh air before returning to the feast. Reaching the lower deck, you had been surprised to find a familiar freckled man already leaning on the railway. You had approached him calmly, putting yourself to his side smoothly. 

“Hey,” you said. “You’re good?”

Ace turned his face to you, offering you a soft smile – one that he often gave when you two were alone, different from his broad, tooth-showing usuals he always bears. “Yeah, needed a minute before Thatch pulled me into another round of rhum. You?”

“I needed a bit of fresh air too”, you admitted, slightly grazing his arm with yours as a silent comfort. “The third round of shots with Izou may not have been a good idea.” 

He chuckled, “Damn, you’re trying to get wasted tonight?”

You huffed, “I’m not wasted, mind you. Just a bit drunk, that's all.” Ace laughed softly, bringing a kind of warmth in your chest you hadn’t experienced for a while. 

Well, admittedly you had been a little more than ‘a bit drunk’. Some parts of that evening had been blurry in your mind the day after, while some things you would have usually never said stuck with a bit of harmless shame. You did, however, clearly remember the day after making out with Ace on that lower deck. How the two of you had ended up like that was less precise in your memory – alcohol on both sides might have helped –, but the memory of his lips against yours had been as clear as day. Beyond the hangover welcoming you after that night, the lingering sensation of Ace’s toned body, pressing into your form against the railway, hot and comforting, haunted you for a week after. It had seemed that your brain had remembered every lick of his tongue around your own, how he had moaned against your lips when you kissed him back fervently, or how warm the touch of his hands had been while roaming your hips and pulling you flush against him. It had haunted you as much as it had been a blessing to remember that.  

Still, none of you acted on this after that night. You knew where you stood – well, more or less. Ace was a friend, that’s for sure. A friend you had really, really enjoyed making out with, and who you wouldn’t mind exploring more with if the situation presented itself. But you weren’t so sure that you loved Ace yet ; because of that distance he always seemed to put between him and everyone else, deflecting it with his warm personality. 

Ace didn’t really mention your kiss – more like multiple kisses – after, but your friendship had remained untainted. It had been like always, and you didn’t push him further on the subject. 

Maybe Whitebeard was right, and that Ace would come around when he fell ready. But at this point, you were getting tired and worried about waiting. Because since that day, and even if he had never realized it, Ace changed around you. 

His palm had started to find your waist more often when he passed by you, just a lingering touch of reassurance. When he came back from a mission, he had made sure to greet you first after making his report to Whitebeard. He sought and valued your opinion like a natural reflex during meetings, or casual conversations. He actually became softer, almost more vulnerable when the two of you talked – no matter the subject. Even in casual daily situations, he found his way to you as easily as breathing. Perhaps without realizing, Ace had made his way slowly to your heart and you couldn’t stop him. And the best part? You let him ; even if the more you got closer, the more it seemed he was isolating a part of himself wittingly. And that was hurting you. 

You were falling in love with Ace, but you didn’t know how to help him – as a friend, if love wasn’t the right word yet. Of course you had tried to bring up the subject several times, but he deflected your questions with a hearty laugh and a warm smile. But you were a spy and so you knew better – you had noticed how he needed to isolate himself if he had made a mistake with the crew, even the slightest one, or how sad his eyes turned the few times he mentioned his brothers when the two of you were alone. You also noticed how hurt he looked when Whitebeard noted some things that had gone sideways during his missions, and how he never really put himself or his needs first, and always the other’s. It was a conversation with Marco that made you realize what it was about. While it hadn’t been your initiating subject, the two of you had ended up talking about the fire user (and yes, maybe Marco did succeed making you confess that you might have some deeper feelings for Ace).

“He’s not above putting his life in danger for the ones he cares about, that’s all I’m saying,” the doctor had said. 

Marco had said that about your concerns on Ace sometimes acting like he didn’t matter ; you had mentioned it because you thought that he never thought about himself, but it had seemed that Marco had been more clairvoyant on this one. You had thought about it. Sure, Ace was a hot head and it hadn’t been uncommon for him to literally shield you or another crew member with his own body during battle. But the way Marco had said it supposed it was also the case in real life. 

“I mean yeah,” you had said with a shrug, “but that doesn’t mean that he’s trying to sabotage himself or anything…right?”

Marco glanced down. Something had clicked in your mind and for a moment, had taken your breath away. 

Oh. 

“Oh my god,” you had breathed out, “he is sabotaging himself, isn’t he?” A dozen examples of Ace putting himself in arm’s way or even neglecting his own health for others came to your mind. Oh Ace…

“He’s self-destructive,” Marco tried to moderate, in an attempt to calm you down – which didn’t work. “I know you had noticed some of his habits, didn’t you?”

You had. “But…why? Why would he be like that? Does he not like himself or…?”

That question had hung in the air, refusing to come out of your mouth. 

If he doesn’t care what might happen to him, does that mean that he doesn’t want to live?

Marco rubbed his forehead in defeat. “I don’t know, kid. Even if I did, that wouldn’t be my place to tell either. You’ll have to wait for him to be ready to talk about it, I'm afraid.”

[Marineford]

Chaos was everywhere. 

Smoke heavily clouded the vast field, dark and prickling to the lungs and eyes of every poor soul who was there. Sparks of gunshots blinked regularly through the thick curtain, reminding everyone that it wasn’t just a clouded day in a random place. This was war. A harsh, intense, bloody war. No one was here to respectfully shake their opposant’s hand at the end of the battle, discussing terms of surrender in a polite manner and part ways to lick their wounds before the next clash. No. In Marineford, no matter what side you were on, those on the others didn’t plan for their enemies to survive. That was war. 

Up on the execution platform, Ace could only helplessly watch the chaos unfold. His hands pulled on the restraints behind his back like a sick habit –  as he did ever since the white sails of pirates’ ships had appeared on the horizon line. As if the vision of his comrades, his family, could break him free. But so far, the only thing he could feel was the iron dug painfully on his wrists, the flesh scraped raw to blood and his shoulders crying in strained pain, begging to pop out of their socket in mercy. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to stop fighting, as much as he could. Wood scraped his knees as he pulled on his neck, straining it to try to see something through the fog. Cold steel threatened to cut his neck sharp at every of his ragged breath, the blades of the stiff marines against his throat encasing him like unwavering judgement. 

The world was embodied in chaos and Ace was condemned to being still and watching. 

But if watching he was reduced to, then watch he will. Ardently, looking, searching in desperation for a specific familiar face. He had caught a glimpse of a lot of his comrades, of Whitebeard himself, of his enemies, but there was still someone missing. His dark eyes looked around frantically, hoping to catch sight of the face he would recognize even in the darkest night. A face that would bring him hope, like a shining beacon in this absolute hell. 

And maybe – just maybe, somewhere deep within his heart, Ace also wished he wouldn’t see you here today. 

[Then]

Falling in love with Ace had been a rocky road. 

When you first met, you wouldn’t have bet on you two becoming an item. Sure, the guy had passion, he was funny and god damn attractive. That’s what you thought first when you met Ace the day he tried to fight Whitebeard – or at least, one of the days he tried. It was the 12th try, if you remember correctly. 

Recently having returned from a previous assignment, it had been a few weeks since you had set foot on the Moby Dick – and this update in the usual crew chaos hadn’t reached your ears yet. 

So when a black haired dude came flaming up – literally –, crashing on the deck and ready to throw hands with your captain, the first thought you had was Who the fuck is that suicidal man?

While the fight – pretty much a one-sided one – carried on, you had glanced at Marco who only shrugged behind his coffee mug. 

“Some kid who tries to fight Pops every once in a while” he had explained with a faint smile. “He’s surprisingly early today.” 

You had blinked once. Twice. Maybe you should have blinked a third time at the doctor’s apparent chill despite the situation. And hold on, did he say ‘every once in a while’?

Before you had had the time to react you had felt something barreling into your back, sending you forward with great force. You would have almost fallen across the railing if a strong, warm hand hadn’t gripped your forearm just in time. A firm tug put you back on your feet and turned you around – and came across a pair of obsidian eyes that would make you fall. In this case, they literally did.

The culprit of your almost-fall (and last-second savior) looked as surprised as you – and you had noticed that he was actually younger than you thought. Freckled cheeks were slightly flushed because of the fight, just like his wavy hair was tousled in every direction. He blinked before offering you a light, almost shy chuckle. 

“Sorry beautiful, didn’t mean to push you.” 

The nickname had made your cheeks flush a little, but before you had registered anything more other than his smile full of candor, the freckled stranger had been hauled in the air by Whitebeard – and thrown overboard without warning. 

A splash had echoed. You had turned around to the captain who hadn’t even broken a sweat. Izou and Thatch hadn’t even seemed to have noticed the fight. Marco had shrugged a shoulder again. 

“Wait, isn’t that guy a demon fruit user?” 

Marco nodded, flipping a page of the journal, “Yeah, fire fruit.”

You had turned to Whitbeard, eyebrow raised, “And you still threw him overboard?”

“The kid’s tough,” he had chuckled, “ and his crew usually fish him out right away.” 

You had thrown another glance at the ocean. Ah yes, indeed a small ship was making its way to the Moby Dick ; but it would have been too slow for the poor fool’s crew to arrive on time to get their crewmate on time. 

You had sighed ; then you had discarded your shirt, climbed on the railway and dove into the water without a second thought. In a crew full of demon fruit users, you had the advantage of being an excellent swimmer – and thus having become the unofficial lifeguard of the Whitebeard pirates. You had sunk smoothly into the water, easily noticing the drowning man a few feet below. Then you had hauled his arm across your shoulder and brought him back to the surface in a matter of seconds. A rope scale had already been deployed, and the crew had helped you bring up the idiot who had dared to fight against Whitebeard – again. 

That’s how you met Portgas D. Ace. 

A warm contact laced with youthful foolishness followed by wet and cold reminder of his own mortality. Looking back, this had been a pretty good sum up of his own character, and you should have paid more attention to that. 

After you had saved his ass, the Spade pirates had come to gather Ace and begrudgingly take their captain away…until his next try to fight Whitebeard. From that day, his martial visits had become more frequent, much to the entertainment of your crew. As for you, you watched each fight with interest on the sidelines. This man certainly intrigued you ; why was he so adamant on trying to fight a way stronger opponent again and again? Something about becoming stronger or taking the Emperor’s place or something. But what truly made you curious was why did Ace put so much passion into something that sounded so…trivial? Maybe that was curiosity that made you watch most of their confrontations. 

Marco had noticed that and loved to tease you on the subject. 

“You’re staring again,” he had noted during another one of their fights. 

“I’m analyzing,” you had simply said. 

The doctor chuckled, “Nah, I call bullshit. You’re hooked on this new kid.”

You had rolled your eyes. Marco had basically seen you grow up, he knew you weren’t the type to fall for a guy that fast. “Why does he insist so much on challenging Pops anyway? He’s stupid at best, suicidal at worst.” 

“And you’re soft for him.”

“I’m not,” you deadpanned (even if you had to admit even then, this Ace guy was hot). 

Marco raised an amused eyebrow, “You literally saved him from drowning a minute after meeting him.”

You had shrugged. “He saved my life, I saved his. That’s only fair.” 

Marco could have replied that even if Ace had thrown you overboard, you wouldn’t have been in danger. But the doctor kept the thought to himself and kept a knowing smile until the daily fight came to an end. 

Then Ace and the Spade pirates joined your crew. After a few more confrontations with Withebeard – maybe it had knocked some sense into the young man – you officially got to meet him again. 

“I’m Ace,” he had said while shaking your hand, having recently been officially adopted by the crew. 

You had given him your name with a soft smile. “I know. We met briefly before.” 

His freckled face tilted on the side briefly, wondering where you had met. Then a bright smile stretched his cheeks. “Oh, you’re the pretty lady who saved me from drowning! Thanks a lot by the way, I owe you one!” 

“It’s okay,” you had assured him, “it wasn’t a big deal.”

His smile had broadened even more, and he had thrown his arm around your shoulder. “Awe c’mon, it is! And I’ll find a way to pay you back you’ll see, that’s a promise!” 

It really wasn’t a big deal. But in that moment, with his warm voice and his friendly sunny energy radiating miles around? You had believed him. 

Day after day, you had come to realize that it was just how Ace was. 

[Marineford] 

There was no place where you’d rather be and not be present at the same place. Until today, you had hoped that you would never set foot in Marineford. You still did, honestly. But the second you heard that Ace was there, you hadn’t wasted a single moment to get there. 

High walls and desolate fields in front of you only amplified the anguish twisting your guts. If there was some kind of Hell existing, no doubt it looked close to this. The thick smoke of the first assaults of canon balls and long-range shots clouded your vision, shielding the view. Standing on the upper deck, you squinted your eyes till you felt them burn in fatigue. Yet, you saw nothing – nothing, no one you were desperately looking for. Your observation haki rushed in waves, clinging to the slightest sign that he was still there. Despite years of using and perfectionning it – making you the best user of that haki type in the crew – you felt panic rise as you couldn’t feel anything. 

A large hand landed on your shoulder, and you turned to see your captain standing beside you. 

“He’s here, girl.” Whitebeard stated gravely. “They won’t execute him if we can’t see him, that’s their whole point.” 

The lump in your throat didn’t lessen, but you nodded anyway. This wasn’t entirely reassuring but the captain was right. If the fight was still going on, that meant Ace was still alive. A small highlight in the midst of chaos. 

“Focus,” the Emperor mumbled. “Concentrate on Ace’s presence, don’t let the battle around cloud your senses. If anyone can find him, it’s you.”  

You gave him another nod, a small hope sparked by his trust. “Yes, Pops.” 

Inhaling deeply, you tried to steady your breathing. In, out, in out. Once your breath comes back to a calmer rhythm, you spread out your haki once more. Searching, probing, at every corner of the massive field. You could sense so many people, so much pain – it made you wince every time you could feel someone’s life slip away.

And then, at the very end of the courtyard, you felt it. A warm, familiar presence. Your haki clinged to it, trying to wrap every single one of your senses around it to hold on to it. Teeth greeting you pushed your own haki signature against it, just to signify that you were here– 

A gush of wind blew on the field, just enough to brush away the smoke for a moment. Then you saw him. On the execution platform, all the way back on the other side of the field. Chained, on his knees, battered and bruised, and still frantically looking around. Ace.

Shanks x fem!reader

Would you fall in love with me again? | Shanks x wife!reader | One Shot |

||Angst | song-inspired||

Synopsis: At the end of his journey, Shanks find himself finally ready to come home to his beloved wife. But guilt is tainting what should be a joyful reunion - after leaving you for twenty years, he's definitely not the same man anymore.

[Read it here!] [AO3]

Portgas D. Ace x fem!reader

I don't think now is the best time | Ace x fem!reader | Serie | [COMPLETED]

||Angst | Fluff | Light smut (*) | Alternate Marineford events | Mentionned/implied suicidal thoughts||

Synopsis: Marineford is a warzone. With its lot of bombing, gunfire, blood spilled and lives broken. And in the midst of the chaos, it hits him. Like a bullet straight to his heart. Like a light cast on the entire battlefield clear as day. Ace realizes he wants to marry you.

On the edge of maybe no tomorrow, in the middle of the chaos, in between two bloodshed you both might not survive. Right now.

[Inspired by the wedding scene in Pirates of the Carribeans: At World’s End]

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 (*) Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8

It was over. It was finally supposed to be over – at least for him. He fought his last battles, dragging along his loyal crew through all kinds of wonders and hardships, crossing the world back and forth. Just as he entrusted Luffy with his straw hat years ago he was ready to let the new generation carry on. The One Piece wasn't a big deal anyway – not anymore, not for him. Shanks had accomplished his mission, and now he could step down from whatever shitload awaited the pirate world.

Leaning on the railing of the Red Force, the red haired pirate gazed at the horizon. Or was he technically a retired pirate now ? Maybe it wasn’t something he was quite ready to call himself ; old habits and titles tend to be hard to kill – just like him, in a way. Yet even if his old (yet quite recent) life seemed to be clinging on to him, another part was thrilled of leaving it all behind. And in the middle of it, there was the unfamiliar and baffling feeling of not really knowing what to do next. There had always been a goal, a place to be, people to meet, a battle to fight to serve a higher purpose.

It had been kind of those wooden dolls that hide a smaller version inside. A mission always served a goal, which served an even higher goal, and on and on. Shanks snorted softly at the thought. But as the years went the stupid dolls never seemed to end. There always was another fucking doll inside of the previous one.

A faint smell of tobacco and smoke mixed with the sea’s scent. Benn Beckman stood next to his captain, a cigarette newly lit between his lips. The red-haired pirates’ second in command was as composed as ever – but for those who knew him for that long, they’d notice Beckman was actually relaxed for once. He gripped his matches with less intensity, eyes checking every corner of the ship only two times a minute instead of five. Even the constant headache – price of being the right-hand man of Shanks and being somehow the designated responsible adult of the crew – felt like dimming a little bit hour after hour since their captain announced that they were done with their battles.

Still, even if Shanks said their adventure was over Benn Beckman knew better. Unlike the vast majority of the crew, who blindly trusted Shanks and followed him only with a vague idea of a bigger picture, Benn knew what Shanks’ ultimate goal was eventually. He knew what was the last doll in his captain's bigger picture.

“Where to now, captain ?” he asked casually.

The neutral tone of his question made Shanks smile faintly. Ever the sly fox, Beckman wasn’t one to divulge how much he knew – even to someone already in the confidence. Frankly, Shanks was grateful for his right-hand-man polite discretion. For once he was happy that Beckman knew of the bigger picture - his bigger picture – to have someone helping him on the last part of this journey.

His one good arm drifted into the interior of his shirt, and after fiddling with the small, almost invisible inner pocket that had been sewn ages ago, Shanks pulled out a worn piece of paper. His thumb brushed over the surface once, twice, for a bunch of long seconds. Almost to check if it felt just the same as the day it was torn from its original sheet.

Then Shanks handed the vivre card to his right hand man. It was a wordless exchange ; still, when Beckman took it from the raid-haired hand, he could feel in his captain’s gaze that it was one of the most precious things he had. When Shanks half-reluctantly let go of the paper, Beckman let a light chuckle escape his lips and patted the Emperor’s shoulder before heading to the helm.

It was long due Shanks finally returned.

Shanks was a man of secrets – or at the very least a man of concealed truths. He didn’t exactly hide things, he just...conveniently didn’t disclose everything about him. Few people still alive knew that he had been Roger’s cabin boy, even fewer knew about his heritage and time in Mary Geoise. And above all of that, definitely not many people knew that Shanks was married. And for years, at that.

Perhaps more people had known, at the time being. Even if the ceremony had been small, with the least people possible, he did remember the party following after, at the local bar and people congratulating the newlyweds. And oh, he did remember that day. The years certainly had taken a toll on him, but never tainted this memory ; it was rooted deep into his brain, anchored to the very depths of his soul. Nothing could erase this memory, and every single one of the precious times he had spent with his beloved wife. With you.

Yet those very same memories were precisely what was slowly haunting him as his ship approached the island. As much as he treasured them, those memories were now holding something else – guilt.

“We should be docking in an hour or so.”

Shanks nodded faintly at Beckman’s words. The lump that had been building in his throat wouldn’t allow him to say much, after all. Benn Beckman studied his captain closely. The more the Red Force was approaching the peaceful coast lines, the more he could actually see how Shanks had changed. He looked less like an Emperor, mighty and powerful, and more like a man. Just a plain, simple man. Thus, Benn noted that for once Shanks also seemed to show actual human traits. How tired he looked, how he pinched his lips every once and then formed the anxiety slowly crawling up. And above all, the look of regret that shone in his long time friend’s eyes. Last time the red-haired pirates second in command had seen that look on the captain was… certainly a long time ago. Way too long ago ; both him and the captain knew that much.

“How long has it been ?” chidded Benn Beckman, crushing the last bits of his cigarette on the railing.

A long, heavy sigh escaped Shanks’ lips. The mere thought of what he was about to say made his heart squeeze and his throat tighten even more.

“Twenty years.”

His response had been but a whisper. So, Beckman's only reaction was a nod, before reporting his gaze on the approaching coast too.

This was going to be a tough day for his captain, no matter how he had been longing for it.

As per Beckman’s words, the Red Force did dock an hour later in the island’s harbor. It was a calm place – one or two small villages, practically neighbours, a harbor and the local market, receiving habitual smaller trade ships ; a few fields and a windmill ; the orchard a little bit higher, where the last houses stood before the top of the hill, that was used for sightseeing and celebrations. That very place where Shanks married you.

He left the ship without a word.

The crew was busy celebrating their arrival and their newly found rest from pirate life anyway. Beckman knew very well where he was heading, and that he was probably not going to get back to the Red Force soon.

Shanks’ steps were slow but assured. He knew exactly where he was heading, for he had made the trip from the harbor to the house quite a few times. His body wanted to run and to slow it down at the same ; he couldn’t wait to reach the house, he had longed for it. But knowing that the last time he had made the trip was twenty whole years ago made his guts churn and twist with guilt.

Guilt.

That was it, really. The thing that refrained him from running to the top of the street, leaping inside your home and finally, finally taking you in his arms after so long. But this scenario would be if everything had stayed as it once been, and if you still had him.

And honestly ? He wasn’t so sure that you would. It had indeed been twenty years.

He was so deep in his thoughts that Shanks barely registered to arrive in front of your door. The handle was staring right back at him, almost daring him to twist it. A long, long minute passed with him unable to move. Then, he finally gripped his trembling fingers around the handle, and twisted it open.

The house was quiet. Calm. The late light of the day filtered by the windows, lighting the cosy interior in a soft hue. A quick glance around the rooms made Shanks’ stomach drop a little. The more he looked around, and the more he noted how everything changed since his last visit. Was that piece of furniture always there ? When did you change the curtains ? Fear started to grow within him as the small evidence of change started to pile up. How much exactly, had changed ?

A faint sound of running water snapped him out of his spiraling thoughts. Out of instinct, his legs carried him toward it – to the kitchen where you probably were.

The moment he caught a glimpse of the room, Shanks stopped dead in his tracks. The late afternoon light shining through the window blinded him for a second — but nothing compared to how the vision of you took the breath from his lungs. 

You were there. Casually rising dishes. Putting them away with practised ease. You were actually there. Shanks practically couldn’t believe it ; he spent so many years on the sea, trying to get back to you. Because he did try to come back to you — that was everything was about, in the end right? No matter how other missions, or adventures came in the way, how his way seemed to get astray from this island…the only thing Shanks had ever wanted was to come back to you.

Finally seeing you, a few feet away felt all but surreal. Yet, the next thing The red haired did came to him as easy as breathing. 

The whisper of your name rasped through Shanks’ lips felt like a long-lost prayer. 

Time froze ; and so did you. 

The sound of that voice, you knew it all too well. You had dreamt of hearing it again, and not only via a den-den-mushi for a couple of seconds once in a decade. The rich tone and distinctive accent had inhabited your dreams for the past two decades. 

You turned around slowly — so slow that Shanks thought that you weren’t moving for a moment. When you finally faced him…the pirate felt tears well in his eyes. It was a dream, it has to be. You were as beautiful as the day he had last seen you. A few strands of graying hair may be adorning your hair now, and maybe the circles under your eyes had been less visible before. But it was you. His beautiful, beautiful wife. Whose eyes, now staring at him wide, shiny with tears and trembling, had always been his last thoughts every night for the past twenty years. 

An interminable moment passed. Both of you just stood there — like bewitched by the other’s presence, and frozen in place by your visions. It was like your brain was both shutting down and running by a thousand miles a minute altogether. 

Your stillness and mutism started to worry Shanks. Were you alright? Should he have announced himself? Gods, had he come back too late? He knew he had no right to expect a reaction from you. Hell, he should be on his knees thanking you for even looking at him after he left for so long. But the selfish part of him was begging for more ; a word, a move, a screamed insult, anything. Anything to prove that you were real and not another bittersweet dream conjured by his brain. The lump in Shanks’ throat only grew with anxiety as seconds passed, long and agonising. 

Then finally, after what felt like an entire lifetime, you blinked. Once, twice. Trembling lips moved on their own. And a sound that would break Shanks’ heart for the next decade escaped them.

“Shanks…?”

Somewhere deep within Shanks, something cracked. Maybe his soul, definitely his heart. The broken whisper of his name you let out was crashing onto him like a tidal wave, freezing him on his spot. 

You weren’t doing much better on your side, to be honest. It had already taken a toll on you to turn back - ever so slowly because you were afraid that you were hallucinating again. And when you saw him, right there in your home, at arms’ reach? It was almost too much for your body and mind to process.

Hands trembling, you could feel the tears threatening to fall at the corner of your eyes as you stared at the man before you. Some changes were striking, hard to miss after tewenty years apart, but right now the only thought you had was that your husband was back. 

You knew Shanks would come back, you always knew.

It had been hard to let him go - as hard as it had been for him to leave you behind - but you both knew that it had ultimately been the better choice. You were no pirate, and Shanks never would have imposed that life on you (at least, more that it was already by your marriage). Shanks had secrets and tragedies trailing behind him, both of you always knew that. If you were to come with him on the sea, you would expose yourself to every single enemy he had. Becoming one of the Emperors only amplified that, but it had also been a part of the solution to come back to you.

And you knew that, of course you did. That day when you both made the terrible, heartwrenching goodbye, you knew he was sailing to mend his past mistakes, and make sure that if - when - he came back to you, you both could live together in peace. 

Still, twenty years was a long time. And seeing that familiar, changed yet beloved face again felt like a fever dream. 

Eventually, you took a step in front of you. Then another, tentatively. As your body clicked back in motion, so did your ability to speak.

“Is it you?” 

You hadn’t intended that to be the first thing you said to Shanks. It was barely above a whisper, yet it didn’t diminish how you somehow regretted how it came out. The rational part of your brain couldn’t believe that your prayers had finally been answered. 

“Is it really you?” you asked again with a trembling voice, taking another step on shaky legs. “Or am I dreaming once more?” 

The tremors in your voice made Shanks’ heart squeeze even more. You were a strong woman, seeing you on the verge of collapsing made him hate himself more than anything he did in his entire life. 

Somehow, you found yourself standing in front of the red haired pirate. Close enough to mix breaths, but with that shy distance lingering. Maybe none of you really knew how to be that close again after so long. 

The closeness made you febrile. It was Shanks, he definitely was. You'd recognize him in a room full of a thousand people, and blinded in the darkest night. Now that he was really here, you could feel his breath against your cheek, his body heat radiating through his shirt, his smell…his presence made no doubt. Not the slightest. And now that your mind and heart knew that it was — he was — real…you carefully looked at him. Actually look at him. 

The scars across his left eye, you knew them ; but they couldn't hide how deep the bags under his eyes were. Nor how faded the sparkle was in his gorgeous eyes now. 

Maybe his hair was longer. But what struck you the most was how exhausted he looked. His shoulders were slumping, and you just knew that his once broad smile would never reach his eyes just yet. 

Just like you had done a hundred times before — maybe it was muscle memory — your hand came to cup his left cheek. Both of you shuddered at the contact ; then, like it was the very air he needed to breathe, Shanks leaned into your touch like a starved man. Your breath hitched just for a moment. But your heart? Oh, it was soaring with relief — and gut-wrenching concern.

“You look different” you muttered, more for yourself than for Shanks. “Your eyes look tired.”

The pirate closed said eyes. Although there weren’t many mirrors aboard the Red Force, he knew what he looked like. And that wasn’t even the part he was the most ashamed of yet. 

With the kindest, loving gaze, you trailed your eyes onto him. Carrying on your rediscovery of the man you had married. And what you saw was breaking your heart. 

“Your frame is lighter” you noted, voice tightening. As your eyes descended to the empty left sleeve of his shirt, you had to refrain from a sob. 

You had heard of Shanks losing his arm, years ago. That had been the shortest letter you had ever received from him. Laconically writing that he had lost an arm, with no details. You had made yourself sick for a week after receiving it, unable to get rest, almost considering actually sailing to find him. Then 8 days later, he called you. Filled you in with every detail you asked. Listened to your sobs and reassured you every time you needed him. You both spent hours on the phone that day. That was also the last time you had heard his voice. 

Actually seeing the blatant evidence of his missing limb made you want to cry even more — you could already feel tears running on your cheeks. Not because that made him less of a man, no, never. But because you thought of how in pain he must have been. When it happened, and after. Learning how to adapt himself in daily situations alone ; waking up in a cold sweat because of the pain and phantom shivers, alone ; being plagued with regrets and memories, on his own. All of this, on. his. own. 

Shanks could hear the train of your thoughts by looking at the way your eyes widened ever slightly every time you picked up another change on his body. He knew you would feel at least half as guilty as he felt, and tried to offer you half a smile — hoping that would ease your mind a little.

But it didn’t. Seeing the slight, almost shy tug of the corner of his lips instead of the once broad smile that could light up the sky for a moment, made more tears roll on your cheeks.

“Even your smile is torn” you sobbed softly, unable to contain yourself this time. Your thumb brushed the apple of his cheek, like it could wipe all the suffering away. Gods, you wished it could, you would give everything to have this power. 

Shanks could feel the hand cradling his cheek trembling. He should say something, anything instead of watching the crushing realization of his own presence tear you apart. But he couldn’t. He was a coward ; maybe a younger, different version of him could have done it. He just wasn’t that man anymore, and it was already so painful to accept it, he couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud to you. 

Not even when your second hand came gently to his other cheek, cradling his face with the utmost care in the world. Like you were handling a precious porcelain — or more like an old relic. 

“What has the world done to you, my love?” 

The question stuck him like lightning. What has the world done to him? Flashes of the last two decades came back to him, as hard as a tidal wave. What has the world done to him? Wrenched him, beat him up, broke him and tried to build him up again — but he did some shit to the world in retaliation too, so he guessed that made things even. But there was one thing the world did to him, that he couldn't make up for: it had changed him. And as much as he never thought it'd bother him…presenting himself to you while being nothing like the man he used to be ashamed him.

“I am not the man you fell in love with” 

His words stole the breath from your lungs. The thumb that had been caressing his cheek stopped for a moment — and Shanks felt even more guilty. 

It wasn’t what he had wanted his first words for you to be. Shame had been stronger than his will, it seemed. The utter look of betrayal and hurt on your face was another proof of that. 

You’re a fucking coward, he thought to himself. A fucking, selfish coward, and not the man she once adored. He couldn't be that man anymore. 

You shook your head, as it could brush away this nonsense. 

“N-no it’s- that’s not-” you stuttered. “Of course you are, Shanks”

He almost winced at how softly you said his name. He didn’t deserve that. Didn’t deserve the affection you poured into every gesture and words to him. He was far from the kind and gentle husband you married. After leaving you for twenty years, he knew that the man who came back didn’t deserve your love. 

“Just because you changed doesn’t mean anything has changed between us” you continued, voice wavering with emotion. “We all change, but it doesn't mean— you're not…you’re still you, Shanks”

The pleading look in your eyes could have made atheists believe in gods and believers turn away from their faith. But to Shanks’ crippling guilt, it wasn’t enough. 

“I assure you,” he breathed out above a whisper, “I am not the love you knew before.” 

Another tear rolled on your cheek. “I don’t believe it” 

Your fierce response broke a pained smile out of him. His wife had always had faith for both of you ; you were the hopeful one, and he was the asshole who had the audacity to come back. 

Shanks’ hand came up, slowly, to gently cradle yours that was still on his cheek. The warmth of his rugged palm on your hand sparked hope in you —until he slowly peeled it off his face. 

You could swear you felt your heart break. Shanks couldn't meet your stare, searching, begging for answers. What could have possibly happened for that man, for this Emperor and most powerful haki user, to refuse to look at you? 

“Please,” you begged, “please don’t shut me out Shanks. Talk to me, I promise that whatever has happened, I won’t turn away from you.”

He still couldn’t meet your face. Shanks listened carefully to your words, dizzy by the melody of your voice he had longed for. 

His lack of response made you want to cry your eyes out once again. But you’ll be damned if you gave up on that stupid, precious husband of yours. 

“I never stopped loving you Shanks”, you pleaded, already missing the feeling of his skin against your palm. “I promised I always would when we got married, didn’t I? So why…why are you so adamant on shutting me out?” 

A beat passed. And then finally, Shanks’ eyes looked up to meet yours. Red rimmed the corner of his irises and his gaze…his gaze looked like a storm menacing to tear the skies apart any moment. 

A brush of his thumb on the back of your hand reminded you he had never let go of it — he wasn’t able to. He swallowed hard and then—

“I'm scared” 

Your eyes widened on his confession. 

“Of what?” you asked softly. 

Shanks felt his heart squeeze again. “I’m scared that if you knew all I’ve done, you wouldn’t love me like before. I’m scared,” he added with a trembling voice, “that because of all the years I’ve left you waiting, you won’t fall in love with me ever again. And I know that I’d deserve it.” 

A tear fell from his scared eye. Unable to fight the urge, your hand immediately came up to wipe it away. 

I don’t deserve that, Shanks thought once again. 

“What kinds of things did you do?” 

Your genuine question made his breath hitch. That was it, wasn’t it? The moment when he had to come clean to you, to confess every sin he had made. That was the reason he came back after all ; he left for twenty long years, barely keeping contact. He knew you couldn’t love him anymore, even less after hearing what terrible things he had done. But he owed you that much. He owed you to free you from him, no matter how painfully in love he still was. 

He licked his chipped lips. “I left trails of red on every island I went to,” he began slowly. “I traded lives, sometimes friends’ like objects I could use. I hurt more lives than I can count on my hand,” he carried on, unable to stop the flood of his words. “I lied, and stole, and killed and did unspeakable things to save myself out of selfishness.”

And he carried on. Explained all the missions he went through, every danger he had dragged his crew and innocent lives into. Listed every person he killed, and every occasion when he lost time chasing a selfish goal. You listened to every single one of his words, trying to hold it together. Because all you could hear was how much Shanks had been burdening himself with the weight of the world on his shoulder for all of those years. 

“I…I know I’m unredeemable and that it’s not an excuse,” he whispered in a broken voice, “but all of that…all that I did was to bring me back to you.”

“I know,” you said. 

He tried to offer you a smile ; but he could only give you a pained tug of his lips. 

“So tell me,” he asked, “now that you know everything. Would you still fall in love with me? Knowing what I did?”

You gave him a slow nod. “Of course I would.” 

There was no hesitation in your answer. Or malice. Just an honest answer, coming from the depths of your heart. But still, Shanks couldn’t quite believe it yet. 

“I am not the man you knew” he muttered. 

“You said that before,” you said, your voice tainted with annoyance now. “Why do you keep saying this?” 

“Because it’s true!” Shanks blurted. 

The sudden rise in his voice startled you, and you dropped your hands from his face. A flash of guilt passed on Shanks’ face, and he turned away slightly. Even now, he was still hurting you. 

“I changed,” he whispered. “I’m far from the man you married. I uncapable of going back on being him.”

“Why do you insist so much on being who you once were?” you asked in a pained voice. “Do you not like who you are now?”

Your question, allegedly, was a good one. Shanks shook his head. “It’s not that.”

A terrible thought crossed your mind. “Have you…did you stop loving me?”

Shanks’ head snapped to you so fast you almost thought his neck would break. 

“NO! No of course not, darling. I still love you dearly, and inconditionnally”, he said fervently. “I will until the sea itself dries and the skies cover us in stars.”

The long-forgotten nickname made your heart soar. Shanks loved you still. After all those years waiting for him, having faith in him, you finally knew you were right. 

“So,” you said slowly, “why does those changes make you think that I can’t love you anymore?”

He ducked his head down once more. “It’s just not fair to you,” he finally whisper. “You…you waited twenty years ; I left you for twenty years.”

His voice was heavy with emotions, threatening to break at any moment. And so did he.  

“And in return, what? You get to meet with an old, broken, crippled man?” he added bitterly. “I’m not half the man I was, darling. I can’t deserve the love you gifted me then.” 

“It’s normal to change, Shanks” you reminded softly. 

“But it’s not fair, not to you,” the red hair whispered. “You deserve to get back the man you married, not the wreck I am. And I’m so, so sorry for that, love.” 

There it was. Shanks sounded so defeated, so broken.

He finally admitted his fear, the guilt that had been eating him up from the inside for the past decade. He had thought about it, of course. Sometimes is was brief, a mere echo in his mind at the darkest of night. Sometimes, the thoughts were so loud he’d wouldn’t be able to think about anything else for a while. Clutching his shirt where his heart hurt the most, clenching at those poisoning thoughts. There even had been times when Shanks thought that the easiest way would be to cease to exist. To free you from him, from the waiting and the pain. Maybe he should have jumped from the cliff, the day it had crossed his mind. Maybe then, you would have been free. 

Lost in the drowning of his own guilt, Shanks didn’t notice that you had moved, to place yourself in front of him once again. He didn’t stop you when you grabbed his hand in both of yours. After another moment of being a coward, the pirate captain decided that it was time to meet his fate, and he lifted his gaze to meet yours. 

What he saw took the air out of his lungs.

It was you. Only you, looking at him. With eyes full of love, of kindness and devotion. He suddenly felt taken back twenty years before, on the day he married you. Because you had exactly the same look in your eyes then. It hadn’t changed a bit. 

“I will fall in love with you over and over again, Shanks”, you promised softly. Something bright and true burned in your eyes. “I don’t care how, where or when, and no matter how long it’s been.” 

His breath hitched. All the nagging of his guilt seemed to cower down at the face of your will. The passion, anchored in your every word and the love so strong you still felt for him somehow felt more powerful than any other Haki he encountered. Shanks simply couldn’t take his eyes of you - and neither did his guilt. 

“Don’t tell me you’re not the same person,” you pleaded. “You’re always, always my husband. And I love you, Shanks.” 

Tears fell on his cheeks. How could he doubt any of those words? How did he even try to deny that? Suddenly, everything became clear ; he had been such a fool.

Without any more words or warning, Shanks tugged your hands and engulfed you into a bone-crushing hug. The relieved sob that escaped you came with tears too. Happy, relieved tears this time. One of your hands was gripping the back of his cloak, while the other buried itself in the red locks at the base of his neck. Shanks was here. He was finally home. 

Face buried in your neck, Shanks let the tears roam freely on his cheeks. He had worn the weight of years on his body, yet he had never felt lighter. His only hand gripped your shoulder to keep you close, afraid that if he let go of you for only a moment, you would disappear. 

You two stayed intertwined for a long moment. Outside, the world kept going around, unaware of the two of you. The dimming light let the early night shades take its place in the sky. And after a brushing of clothes, a flicker between eyes, your lips finally found Shanks’ for the first time in twenty years.