at planned parenthood and they're playing regular show

"dude if you don't get this abortion benson is gonna fire us"

I’ve said it many times but this might be my favorite post ever

It's spring now which means the kids in my city have started drawing hopscotches on the sidewalk and as a rule I do every hopscotch I see because 1. Use it or lose it (ability to scotch) and 2. If a child got down on the hardscrabble streets of Boston Massachusetts to draw a scotch the least I can do is use it, but in doing the hopscotches, I've learned that about 50% of them are the typical 8-10 step scotch and the other 50% are. Somewhat avant-garde. And of course I'm not vetting the entire scotch before I start it so sometimes it's like haha 8 steps woo! Childlike whimsy! And sometimes they're 20 steps or 30 or they've got a section with three squares instead of two where you have to do a little Charleston to step on all three, or, memorably, FORTY one foot squares. A full BLOCK of jumping on one foot but I'm no quitter so once I've started Jigsaw Junior's fuckin hopscotch gauntlet I'm there til the end just a daily pot smoker in her thirties jumping kasa-obake style through an affluent suburb while some little proto-kennedy watches from his bedroom window rubbing his sadistic little third grade hands together and cackling. It's amazing. I love spring.

warping back to firelink after spending two hours trying to beat Dancer of The Boreal Valley and when you turn around from the bonfire the Firekeeper is sitting on the steps with her skirt pulled up and is just absolutely going wild on her hog jacking off louder and sloppier than anyone has ever jacked off in history and she doesn't stop as you go about your chores in the shrine because she's blind and doesn't notice you enter and it's obvious from the mess and the way Karla and the shrine handmaiden react that she's been at this the whole time you've been gone

My Chemical Romance is what they would call Breaking Bad if it were a yaoi manga

sucking on her boobs in a manner which is delightful