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@znahypr
me reading any of my own writing: what the fuck are you talking about

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In my dreams I am kissing your mouth and youโre whispering โwhere have you been?โ I say, โIโve been lost but Iโm here now. Youโre the only person who has ever been able to find me.โ
Sue Zhao (via blossomfully)
&. @zomblight , warren : โyou owe me answers. i think iโve earned them by now.โ
๐ต๐ด๐ฐ๐ , ๐๐ท๐ด ๐ ๐ด๐๐ ๐๐ท๐ธ๐ฝ๐ถ ๐ผ๐๐๐ฟ๐ท๐'๐ ๐ฒ๐๐๐ด ๐๐ฐ๐ ๐๐๐ฟ๐ฟ๐พ๐๐ด๐ณ ๐๐พ ๐ด๐๐ฐ๐ณ๐ธ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐๐ด ; he can feel it , ignited within at the mere sight of his former leader . the footprint of his humanity is not lost , rather locked away tight . like 10kโs soul , hostage in his own body : a flesh-made cage , over which he no longer exerts any ounce of control .ย
heโs afloat , like in a dream , a nightmare . mouth sealed shut against his own will ; he stares at warren in a silent scream , begging her with wide eyes to understand โ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ . ๐โ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ! ๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐โ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ . ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ย โย
10k wants to tell her everything . but he canโt ! the only words slipping past his lips come from the script murphy ordered him to follow . and heโs already said everything the man wants warren to know .
&. prompt , status : accepting .
โโ&โ. ๐ฐ๐ด๐๐๐๐ท๐๐พ๐
๐ซ๐๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ญ ย ๐ ๐ข๐๐ญ ย ๐จ๐ ย ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐ฆ๐๐๐ฒ; ย ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฆ๐๐ง ย ๐ฆ๐๐๐ ย ๐ฐ๐๐ซ๐ซ๐ข๐จ๐ซ,ย neverย wouldย haveย thoughtย sheย couldย oneย dayย placeย herย trustย inย anotherย โย yetย asย sheย contemplatesย hisย moonlitย face,ย sheย knowsย she'sย madeย theย rightย choice.ย monthsย spentย byย hisย sideย passingย byย withย aย strangeย speedย onlyย happinessย couldย bring.ย throughย theirย loveย they'dย bothย healed;ย theย grinย โponย hisย faceย aย starkย contrastย toย howย itย allย started.ย
inย herย blithfulย laugh,ย tracesย ofย joyย andย earnestness,ย herย faceย scrunchingย upย intoย aย grinย asย sheย bumpsย intoย hisย shoulderย rightย back.ย ย โthatย wasย before,ย tenย thousand,ย youย needย toย letย itย go.ย besides,ย iย didn'tย laugh,ย iย gotย youย withย dryย humor.โย ย falselyย solemn,ย especiallyย withย theย grinย uponย herย face,ย sheย nods.ย ย โiย won'tย laughย atย youย forย aย genuineย question,ย isย whatย iย meant!โย ย there'dย beenย countlessย ofย idiomsย andย referencesย she'dย hadย toย explain,ย someย thingsย pastย lifestyleย hadย leftย himย lackingย with,ย andย sheย hadย โย withย aย rareย patienceย onlyย she'dย shownย him.ย
yetย theย nextย wordsย comingย outย ofย hisย mouthย leaveย herย stunned,ย herย faceย frozenย intoย aย grinย sheย triedย toย supress.ย ย โiย don'tย know,ย maybe,ย spaceย isย tooย โโย ย seriousย answerย onlyย cutย shortย byย hisย quip.ย sheย laughsย then,ย shovingย playfullyย atย him.ย ย โiย can'tย believeย iย wasย answeringย youย seriously!ย asย ifย aliensย haveย nothingย betterย toย doย thanย stareย atย usย staringย atย them.โย ย aย rollย ofย herย eyes,ย hisย teasingย moodย spreadingย overย toย her.ย ย โnowย thoughย ifย weย wereย doingย somethingย elseโฆโ
๐พ๐ฝ๐ด ๐ณ๐พ๐ด๐๐ฝ'๐ ๐ถ๐ด๐ ๐ป๐๐ฒ๐บ๐ธ๐ด๐. not in the world they live in , a cruel environment demanding the highest of prices in the name of survival . they know what itโs like out there , both have taken lives and witnessed the loss of many others โ loved ones , the family they were born into and the one they found along the way . it hasnโt been easy , some days it still isnโt . but theyโve come so far , together , and there is no other place 10k would rather be .
on nights like this , itโs almost like before the end . he doesnโt pretend it is โ they never would have met in a reality without zombies . despite all the pain theyโve both endured , the happiness they found isnโt something the boy wants to ever trade . perhaps it is a bit selfish โฆ unlike him , red could have seen and done so many things , met countless people , fallen in love time and again .
in this lifetime , she fell for him . and he fell for her . โyou got me with your kickass moves before you did with dry humor .โ before he even knew her , really knew her , 10k thought she might be his soulmate โ had he known the concept of soulmates . which he does now , it is among what red taught him in their time together . there is little to no doubt in his mind at this point , they were meant to be together . she understands him like nobody else .
โi was serious !โ he begins to counter , when her next words steal the air from his lungs and the boy finds himself choking on his own spit , flabbergasted . a not so subtle blush expands from 10kโs neck to his cheeks , reaching the tip of his ears . oh she got him , alright . โred ! thatโs just weird . i donโt wanna put on a show for the aliens ... what if theyโre into it ?โ

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&.ย @zomblight , vasquez :ย โtoo many questions. not enough answers.โ
๐๐บ๐ด๐ฟ๐๐ธ๐ฒ๐ธ๐๐ผ ๐ฑ๐ป๐ธ๐ฝ๐ณ๐ ๐ณ๐ด๐ป๐๐ฐ ๐-๐๐ฐ๐ ๐ณ๐ด๐ป๐๐ฐ ๐๐พ ๐๐ท๐ด ๐๐๐๐๐ท , manifest before their very eyes . all wrapped up in their attempts to debunk bernadetteโs story , theyโre missing out on the fun . not even in 10kโs wildest dreams , the teen could have imagined he'd have the chance to visit roswell - now with a z - , let alone break into a military base . heโs having the time of his life , overflowing with excitement .ย
on the other hand , vasquezโs frustration is understandable . the place is gutted , nothing for them to loot โ no vehicles either , airborne or otherwise . it appears theyโve been chasing tail ... however , the answers they seek are - must be -ย within reach , hidden perhaps beneath their feet . the military wouldnโt run experiments in plain sight . heโs going to have to mention that , once warren gets back .
โi still think that womanโs telling the truth ... and the aliens did it .โ
&. prompt , status : accepting .
๐๐ป๐ด๐ด๐ฟ ๐ธ๐ ๐ฐ ๐ต๐ธ๐๐ท ๐๐ท๐ฐ๐ ๐๐พ๐ฝ'๐ ๐ฑ๐ธ๐๐ด , on the longest night of 10kโs life since the beginning - or rather the end - of it all . for once , it is the silence that unsettles him ; stretching moments into perceived eternity . the sun wonโt rise soon enough .
beside him , murphy is quiet for perhaps the first time in his life . he hasnโt stirred since they left the museum behind them . 10k might envy him ... how easy the man can rest , despite everything .
he hasnโt told anyone what happened back there . tried not to dwell on it , burying the fear down deeper instead . but 10k canโt stop thinking about it . he would have expected murphy to jump at the opportunity to punish him for mercying cassandra โ why he didnโt , thatโs what keeps haunting him .
โi know youโre awake . nobody lies that still , unless theyโre dead dead .โ
&. @mrcybite : murphy , random starter .
๐๐๐'๐๐ด ๐ฝ๐พ๐ ๐ป๐ธ๐บ๐ด ๐๐ท๐ด ๐พ๐๐ท๐ด๐๐ . they've accepted being blends , embraced it even . it's the best thing that ever happened to them .
โ&โ. ๐ฐ๐ด๐๐๐๐ท๐๐พ๐
๐๐ญ๐ก๐๐ซ๐๐๐ฅ ย ๐ช๐ฎ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ย ๐ญ๐จ ย ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐๐ก ย ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ญ;ย constellationsย ofย starsย theย onlyย ceillingย toย theirย abode.ย withย theย fallย ofย societyย cameย theย riseย ofย nature,ย stargazingย nowย accessibleย toย themย anywhere.ย yetย theย homelyย sentimentย ofย theirย settlementย onlyย servedย toย transcendย theย experience.ย itย isย dreamlike,ย yetย groundedย inย solidย realityย /ย together,ย aloneย inย theirย smallย havenย ofย peace.ย โย hisย bodyย aย solidย andย reassuringย presenceย byย herย side,ย warmthย sharedย throughย linkedย arms,ย fingersย entwinedย together.ย wordsย areย enoughย toย paintย aย smileย onย relaxedย features,ย asย sheย turnsย herย headย toย gazeย atย him.ย ย โiย promiseย iย wonโt.ย youย knowย iย wonโt.ย askย me.โ
๐๐ท๐ด ๐ป๐พ๐พ๐บ๐ ๐ฑ๐ด๐ฐ๐๐๐ธ๐ต๐๐ป - always does - but thereโs something magnetic to the way redโs skin reflects the moonlight . perhaps it reminds him of the first night they ever spent together , only this time thereโs no threat looming on the horizon . she had not smiled at him then the way she does now ; itโs easy to forget the raging apocalypse , in this little bubble of safety and peace they have created around them .
โwho are you and what have you done to my girlfriend ?โ he doesnโt even bother feigning concern , lopsided grin pulling at the corner of his mouth . the boy shifts closer to her , playfully bumping their shoulders . red had once mocked his name , 10k definitely expects her to laugh at what heโs about to say . however serious about it , he wouldnโt mind if she did .
โokay ...โ glancing back to the sky , 10k bites the inside of his cheek . โaliens . do you think theyโre real ? out there ?โ pause . he lets the silence stretch between them , building anticipation . this is going to earn him a shove , but itโs worth the look on her face . 10k can barely hold his snickers as he adds , only to tease her , โwatching us right now ?โ
&.ย ๐ฑ๐ฒ๐๐ท๐ถ๐๐ด๐ด๐ฝ๐ด
Itโs been WEEKS since she has seen another person. Blue hues focused on the track in front of her, leading her deeper and deeper into the woods. Sheโs sure these are human tracks, walkers are zig zag and never consistent like this. Who knows how old they are though if itโs someone she knows or someone DANGEROUS. Sheโs willing to take the risk.ย
She finally gets to what looks like a makeshift camp, something temporary. There are tin cans tied around the border to alert the owner of the camp of walkers. โI donโt want any trouble.โ She called though her hand went to the handle of her knife just in case.ย โGettinโ dark soon and jusโ tired of beinโ out here alone.โ
๐๐๐๐ ๐ธ๐ ๐ฐ๐ป ๐ธ๐ ๐ฐ ๐ป๐พ๐ฝ๐ด๐ป๐ ๐ฟ๐๐๐๐๐ธ๐ . pa often said reliance was a weakness to overcome , and independence the ultimate goal . all his life 10k had been learning how to be self-sufficient , but only after losing his father he understood what the old man really meant . however starved for the solace of company , one is better off on their own : with nobody to look after but yourself , the chance of encountering your untimely demise lessens considerably .
that is , if you know what youโre doing . tommy thought he did , following paโs instructions to the letter . must have slipped up somewhere along the way โ the realization hits him as ears catch unexpected movement in the underbrush ; freezing him in the process of gutting fish . once instincts kick in , the boy reaches for his rifle and seeks cover .
sheโs the first human being 10k has seen in a while . he doesnโt remember fondly his last encounter with a group of survivors , whoโd stolen most of his supplies and his fatherโs truck . through the scope of his gun , the teen studies the newcomer with furrowed brows . he wonders , is she alone ? is this some kind of ambush ? once the girl falls quiet , thereโs no other sound 10k can hear aside from his own breathing and the natural buzz of the woods .
a momentโs deliberation before he decides to lower his weapon and slide out of hiding . โthat makes two of us โ" 10kโs steps are slow , calculated , his muscles taut . however , the weight of the rifle still in his grip soothes the boyโs nerves some . โyouโre not gonna need that , maโam .โ swift nod of his head , pointing at her knife , โunless you plan on helping me prep dinner .โ

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&. ๐ท๐ด๐๐ด๐ธ๐๐๐ท๐ด๐ป๐ธ๐ด
โItโs more than JUST hazardous materials. Bulletproof. Waterproof. Other fluids proof.ย Parts are even knifeproof.โ Heโs used to people asking questions.ย ย ย โThe most Iโve had on me before I started to worry was about eight. Iโm working on tweaking the leg bracers so I can run a little faster.ย ย Safety over speed, am I right?โ
๐ธ๐ฝ ๐๐ฟ๐ธ๐๐ด ๐พ๐ต ๐ธ๐ฝ๐ธ๐๐ธ๐ฐ๐ป ๐๐บ๐ด๐ฟ๐๐ธ๐ฒ๐ธ๐๐ผ , the otherโs words pique 10kโs curiosity . heโs only had the misfortune of wearing a regular suit ... uncomfortable and bulky ; but what ode is describing โ 10kโs never heard of anything like it , let alone seen it . the boy perks up , childlike wonder alight in azure hues .ย โyouโve been building it all by yourself ? can i see it ?โ
โ&.ย ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐๐ฑ๐ธ๐๐ด ,ย ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐๐๐ฐ๐ฝ๐ณ๐๐ฐ
bootsย scrapeย againstย dryย floor,ย announcingย herย presence.ย quietlyย doesย sheย squatย nextย toย him,ย givingย theirย surroundingsย aย swift,ย waryย glanceย beforeย fishingย aย packetย outย ofย herย backpack.ย ย โheyย โย birthdayย twinkie.โย ย sheย simplyย announces.ย โquickย beforeย theย othersย seeย it.โ
๐ท๐ด๐ฐ๐ ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ด๐ ๐ธ๐ฝ ๐๐ท๐ด ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ , ๐ป๐ธ๐ต๐๐ธ๐ฝ๐ถ ๐ต๐๐พ๐ผ ๐๐ท๐ด ๐ฐ๐๐ฟ๐ท๐ฐ๐ป๐ : mirage a mesmerizing sight , mundane distraction from boredom . watch isnโt as fun once oneโs run out of zees to mercy . sitting in the shadow of the groupโs pick-up , 10k seeks comfort from the scorching sun above them . only upon hearing his companionโs voice does the teen turn to face her , gaze falling from cassandraโs earnest smile to the item in her outstretched hand . fingers unwrap from the rifle in his lap to fetch it , but he hesitates : should he accept the gift ? how long had she been saving it ? ย โletโs share it ... before they come back .โ
๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐.
&. @aerythros : โyouโre gonna be okay.โ
๐๐พ๐๐ณ๐ ๐พ๐ต ๐๐ด๐ฐ๐๐๐๐๐ฐ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ด ๐ท๐ถ๐บ ๐ป๐พ๐ฝ๐ถ๐ ๐๐พ ๐ฑ๐ด๐ป๐ธ๐ด๐ ๐ด , but fearโs grip is stronger than faith . life is a gift bestowed upon him , he lazarus raised from the dead : anyone would be grateful in his shoes โ it is a terrible feeling to be anything but . would red resent him , were she aware of the truth ? the boy does not feel lucky . he canโt seem to peel his eyes away from the fresh bite mark on his forearm , memento mori / omen of doom . ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ? with great effort , 10k turns to face her . red just lost her brother and still she sits beside him ; holding 10kโs hand , comforting him . he cannot handle to disappoint her . the boy nods , free palm cupping her cheek . โare you ?โ
&. PROMPT , status : accepting .
Trauma changes you. The person you were before is gone. You have to reinvent yourself.โ
(via betweenthegoodandbad)

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&. @addcarverโโ : โก + trust
๐ฟ๐ฐ๐๐ฐ๐ฝ๐พ๐ธ๐ฐ ๐ป๐ด๐ณ ๐๐ฐ๐ป๐๐ด๐ ๐ท๐ฐ๐๐บ๐ด ๐ฐ๐๐ฐ๐ ๐ต๐๐พ๐ผ ๐๐พ๐ฒ๐ธ๐ด๐๐ long before its fall turned people into monsters . one would expect a son to share his fatherโs views โ for tommy was raised to follow a rather peculiar way of life . their cabin and the surrounding woods were the boyโs entire world / family the only support he would ever need .
he seldom had a chance to meet people and albeit brief their interactions , always under walterโs stern guidance . tommy fully depended on his father , would take his word for anything without reason to believe otherwise . the teenโs inexperience reinforced his naรฏvetรฉ ; he is at once wary and easy to trust , which makes for quite the contradiction .
with paโs passing , tommy lost everything but most of all he found himself lacking direction . before joining ๐พ๐ฟ๐ด๐๐ฐ๐๐ธ๐พ๐ฝ ๐ฑ๐ธ๐๐ด๐ผ๐ฐ๐๐บ , the kid survived on his own for a year . during this time 10k was careful in keeping his distance from other survivors he might encounter , never wandering off too far from the countryside unless necessary .
on occasion he would offer assistance , instincts and good heart overruling reason . he was burned a few times , but it didnโt deter him from helping others down the line โ only taught him to observe first and act second . itโs how he met delta x-ray . accepting docโs offer for a ride had been a leap of faith , which he doesnโt regret ... but did at times (namely , the events of murphytown) .
despite everything he has gone through , 10k hasnโt completely lost the gullible side of him that makes him so endearing , but isnโt as quick to trust strangers (however reliable they might seem) as he used to . remember the con sketchy and skeezy dragged him into ? yeah , never again . it is different where the people he knows and loves are concerned : he trusts them unconditionally , the way he did with pa .ย
&. PROMPT , status : accepting .