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tilthat

TIL “Yankee Doodle” was written by the British to mock americans. “Doodle” is thought to come from the German “dödel”, meaning “fool” or “simpleton” and “macaroni,” a flamboyantly stylish type of dress, painting the Yankees as morons who thought placing a feather in one’s cap made them a “dandy.”

via reddit.com

toastpotent-deactivated20250619

so you’re telling me that “stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni” would be like saying “wrote a G on his belt and called it gucci”

beggars-opera

that’s…a pretty good analogy actually

ti-bae-rius

US moron came to town

Hunting for some coochie

Wrote a G up on his belt

And this bitch called it Gucci

ti-bae-rius

Seeing my notifications get flooded with this every July 4th is the only thing I respect about America

pathetic-gamer

#fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #fe #fe3h

raionmimi

Redid an old doodle as a warmup. When I say Medb doesn’t let Alter sleep at night, this is what I mean

#fate grand order #fgo

dghehzdehfzjk

This is why eclipses happen

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doriangraysrockcollection

i must say, i am a huge fan of when a book is in the middle of a very exciting plot containing many interesting problems when out of nowhere for a few pages it's like, "hey by the way, real quick, here's a detailed explanation of the city's water filtration system! i'm telling you this for a reason and you should worry about it. anyway! haha okay back to the plot" and you just get to be Scared for a while

doriangraysrockcollection

i am kissing you on the mouth right now

you are the only person who understands me. you and the person who tagged a series of unfortunate events

boomer-mythology-destroyer

targetedknowledge

zangoonse

a party of adventurers that are all equally convinced that they are in completely different forms of media

zangoonse

the mage keeps giving smug glances in the direction they assume a camera is in. the fighter keeps getting indignant about missing attacks because of "bad dice rolls." the rogue is doubtful that a villain is gone for good because "nobody ever stays dead in comics." the paladin attributes fortune to "good rng." none of them have even considered that "tumblr post" was an option

fuck-customers

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kaity--did

Tonight on My Husband Doesn’t Know How to Baby Talk

“Ma’am, are you aware that these, right here are your hands? They belong to you. And you get to decide what happens with them. So when you use these hands to pull your binky out of your mouth that is not necessarily a dad problem. I’ll fix it obviously i just want you to acknowledge it’s not my fault”

kaity--did

Husband: ma’am it has been reported lately that you do in fact have tiny little toes and a little button nose, do you care to comment?

Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby

Husband: RIVETING!

kaity--did

Penny Rose: Does that High Pitched Baby Yell ™️

Husband: Let it out friend! Feel your feelings!

kaity--did

Me: Hehehe silly husband doesn’t know how to do baby talk

All of tumblr collectively at my husband:

kaity--did

Penny Rose: does a sad baby scream

Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!

Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued

Husband: I lied to you Penny your mother does our taxes. Do you want to know about arbitration? I know all about arbitration.

kaity--did

THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND

yes he just walks around the house and talks to her like this

kaity--did

Penny Rose: Cooing as twinkle twinkle little star plays

Husband: Now Penny there is a lot of misinformation out there in the world and I hate to tell you this but the moon is in fact not made of cheese. That is a conspiracy theory pushed by Big Dairy.

????

kaity--did

Husband: Holds Penny Rose up to her reflection in the microwave

Husband: you see Penny Rose! This was the M. Night Shyamalan twist! You were mirror baby all along!

kaity--did

FYI this is how you get a Deals Warlock if you were wondering

justplainsalty

I have follow up questions:

1) Did you participate in baby talk to make up for your husband's deficit, or did you also opt to speak to the Deals Warlock like a very tiny adult from babyhood?

1a) If you participated in baby talk with Penny, did she ever do any code switching with you while she was learning to talk (I mean, babyish talk back to you but fully formed adult like you share with us to Lawyer Dad)?

kaity--did

I didn't baby talk with her very much either! I think I squealed at her more than my husband did.

Something funny that has happened is that while she formally calls me Mama when she's answering me in passing she does call me "My Darling Love" and I don't know for sure but I think it's because I call her and her father "my loves" and her father calls me and her "darlings" and she's created a mash up 😂

So I'll say "okay penny it's time for bed" and I'll just hear "okay my darling love!" 😂

pikestaff

sorry himejoshi tumblr but this person using their yuri manga to spell out the kanji for yuri is living like one hundred years in the future

pikestaff

Great idea: https://twitter.com/sanm_ata/status/1672620608444862467

pikestaff

People sad about missing yuri day: depending on your time zone, you may not have! Yuri Day is June 25. Be sure to celebrate by (! main quest) reading yuri and (! side quest) kissing a girl

whitepeopletwitter

kalesrebellion

So funny story actually. One of my friends was hooking up with this girl, they were friends with benefits. She needed a date for some work party so he agreed to go with her. Turns out her dad owns like 3 dental practices and she worked as the business manager for one of them.

Anyway my friend had some not so nice teeth and during dinner the father of his fwb was like “you work where you work, you sleep with him and his teeth look like that? Get him an appointment.”and then bounced. So his fwb made him an appointment at the practice she managed and my friend ended up needing like 3k worth of dental work and his friend with benefits just gave it to him for free.

So that is the story of how my friend not only got sex, but dental out of the friends with benefits deal.

helloitsbees

mariakono

hans christian undertale

mariakono

This post causes the CONFUSION ailment on whoever bestows their eyes upon it

lapithae

Honestly Tokiko is really smart because if someone started figuring out my divine machinations I would also throw in Everyone's Favorite Director Goredolf Musik to throw them off.

Jokes aside, it was a pretty smart move to see if Ritsuka and Mash were 'metagaming', so to speak.

#fate grand order #fgo #fgo spoilers

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lapithae

FGO's depiction of David is so funny because they make him the sleaziest guy imaginable casually and then whenever he has to lock in and be a Hero he starts making money moves and pulls MVP stunts.

Spends 90% of the time flirting with people he mistakes as his geriatric nurse and then when that 10% rolls around he changes the tide of the entire fight to the point where his limbs are falling off his body and you remember that this shithead is one of the most hyped up guys in the Bible.

What's wrong with this dude.

lapithae

Archer of Ragnarok: you've already lost. i am a divine spirit of time. no weapon from before 4 billion years ago can even touch me, and such a thing is impossib--

King David From The Bible:

#fate grand order #fgo #fgo spoilers

zxbuster-advent

#fate grand order #fgo #reaction image

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