KEN

He stood up then, determined to check out the noise. He was cautious though. One could never be cautious enough, less he wants to find himself in a compromising position. Especially in the Vatican. So he bent down to look through the keyhole before daring to open the door. Oh, what a childish act.

The scene unfolding before his eyes almost made him knock his head into the door handle. He felt his heartbeat quicken, his mind screaming: “Look away!” But he couldn’t, he simply couldn’t. Because what he saw was his boss sprawled out on the sofa in the middle of the room, cassock gone, black shirt open on his chest, his fisted hand muffling his cries of pleasure while the other worked his cock.

Valentino felt paralyzed by the scene, his heartbeat quickened so fast he had to grab the door frame for support. His mind turned off, unable to form any coherent thought while his eyes stayed glued to the keyhole.

Assente was reaching his peak, his back arched off the sofa as his hand glided faster and faster on his cock. It seemed to Valentino that he bit forcibly into his fist when a white string of liquid shot out from his cock and landed on his bare chest.

Valentino sucked in a deep breath and forced himself away from the door. He stumbled back to his desk and sank into the chair, hiding his face in his hands. His trousers under his cassock felt way too tight in the lap area. He took in a few deep, slow breaths to calm his frantically beating heart.

If he said he wasn’t attracted to his boss, it would be a blatant lie. Assente was a very handsome man in his eyes, tall and lean, and had a sharp, witty mind. He was not always easy to deal with, he had, for the lack of a better word, bitchy tendencies, but Valentino learned how to maneuver his moods. There was nothing wrong with attraction however, until one could deal with it accordingly. But recently he had found himself dancing on the fine line between innocent attraction and sinful thoughts. The fact his boss was almost openly homosexual did not help his case in the slightest.

After a few minutes he felt his heartbeat had slowed down and he managed to regain control over his mind.

“Maybe, if I could finally finish this document… maybe then I could return to my chambers to pray,” he thought and grabbed a pen to continue what he had started.

Two, or maybe three hours had passed since the incident when Valentino finally felt like the document was ready. But now there was another problem. He had to face his boss after all that.

“Come on, pull yourself together, Valentino! You should know by now how to put on a poker face.”

Ever since he started working on the document again there was silence outside of his office. He didn’t even realize how carefully he entered the main room, secretly fearing what he might find there. He found nothing out of the ordinary, however. The room seemed empty at first glance and he almost started to get annoyed if now he had to go and find his boss God knows where in the Vatican.

But a faint smell of smoke got his attention and he found his boss standing next to an open window, smoking his usual cigarette. The late afternoon sun wrapped Assente in what looked like a holy halo of light. He was dressed fully again, impeccably, as if nothing had happened before. His cassock and pellegrina were slightly fluttering because of the light breeze coming from outside. The background light accentuated his figure, especially how the fascia hugged his slim waist. One of his arms rested against his stomach, supporting the other one holding his cigarette near to his face. He seemed lost in thought.

Valentino cleared his throat, both to snap himself out of his reverie and to get his boss’s attention. Assente turned around quickly, one eyebrow arched while still holding the cigarette in the same position.

“Yes, Valentino?”

“Eminence, I’ve prepared the document you requested.”

Assente moved away from the window, moving to the table in the middle of the room where he snuffed out his cigarette in the ashtray. He simply gestured to Valentino to sit on the sofa. Valentino hesitated just for a moment (“Please, just not the sofa!”) but Assente sensed his reluctance because he looked up from the table to Valentino with a calculating look on his face.

Surrendering to his fate, Valentino moved to carefully sit on the left side of the sofa. His posture felt too rigid even for himself as he tried to not think about what his boss was doing on this exact piece of furniture just mere hours ago. Assente moved to sit next to him, their knees almost touching as they turned towards each other thanks to his long legs.

“Here, Your Eminence,” said Valentino as he handed the document to Assente.

It took approximately five minutes to look through it, his face of utter concentration. Meanwhile, Valentino tried to focus on the patterns of the carpet, but he soon found himself looking at his boss’s concentrating face. His graying hair was slicked back perfectly under his zuchetto, his brows knit together slightly while the steel frame of his glasses reflected the light coming in from the windows. Valentino couldn’t help but appreciate his prominent cheekbones and strong jaw, the freckles littering his face. He wondered if they continued under his clothes. Assente didn’t have the typical pretty boy face, yet one couldn’t deny the attractiveness of his features.

“Will it fit your purposes, Eminence?” asked Valentino when Assente reached the end of the document.

“Yes, Monsignor,” he answered and moved his left hand to Valentino’s thigh.

Valentino almost jumped up when he felt the tender touch. It could be considered innocent enough, just a thankful gesture, but looking at Assente’s mischievous face that thought quickly evaporated. Not to mention the title. Assente rarely referred to him as monsignor, he preferred the more familiar way of addressing him by his given name. On the other hand, he always expected Valentino to address him by his title.

Valentino froze, if it was even possible for him to grow more rigid, and he felt a treacherous blush creep up his face. “Control yourself!” But no matter how strongly he tried to think of anything else but Assente, the warmth radiating from his palm couldn’t be ignored. And when he moved his thumb, barely stroking the inner side of his thigh, he couldn’t help but let out a shaky breath. It was barely noticeable but it felt like lightning had struck him, and the picture of his boss arching his back on the sofa returned behind his closed eyes.

“Damn it all,” he thought, and when he opened his eyes he met Assente's pleading gaze. Pleading for something, anything.

The first touch Valentino allowed himself was a gentle touch of the back of his hand to Assente’s cheek. Feather-light, yet the man closed his eyes and turned towards the hand on his cheek, practically caressing himself with it. When Valentino hadn’t moved, he opened his eyes, and still resting his cheek against Valentino’s hand, looked at the younger man with such want that he couldn’t resist anymore.

Valentino moved in slowly at first but then quickly sealed his lips to Assente’s, fearing he might change his mind. He rested both of his palms on the cardinal’s face, and the man in turn crashed against his lips so forcefully that he had to grab the back of Valentino’s head in order to not let the young man fall back. He kissed him like a drowning man, and Valentino thought that getting suffocated by the cardinal’s kiss wouldn’t be such a bad way to die.

When they desperately needed to breathe, Assente pushed himself away from Valentino just as forcefully as he kissed him. He didn’t move away from the sofa though. He just sat there, eyes cast downwards to his hands strongly clasped together in his lap.

“E… Eminence?” Valentino managed to ask, his voice too high-pitched even for his own ears.

Assente turned his head away, shut his eyes and the young man could see how his jaw visibly tightened. He was definitely fighting with his emotions. Valentino wasn’t in a much better place, yet he found his concern was stronger than his fear.

Cursing himself for such blatant ignorance of hierarchy, he tried again: “Mario?”

And he was successful. Assente looked at him with such pain in his eyes that Valentino’s breath hitched in his throat. He swore the cardinal’s sad eyes shimmered with unshed tears, and they reflected such loneliness that Valentino felt physical pain in his chest. He reached for the man’s clasped hands and covered them with his own.

“Are you alright?”

“What a stupid question,” he thought, “of course he is not alright.”

But the answer was not one he expected:

“Fuck me,” he said.

“Fuck me… please,” he pleaded, the last word barely a whisper.

Valentino searched the older man’s eyes, trying to figure out his thoughts. “He is lonely. So lonely and alone. Lonely in a way only a Catholic priest can be.” To this at least, Valentino could relate. He thought before that he could deal with the loneliness of his profession nicely, sometimes even shunning his colleagues for their weakness. But now, looking at the man he loved the most in this godforsaken place, (“God, I love him, don’t I?”) he felt his own loneliness like never before. He just wanted someone to comfort him, to touch him. And Assente, well, he looked like if Valentino would reject him now, it would be the last straw.

So he leaned in again, placing a soft peck on the other man’s lips.

“Alright,” he said in a hushed voice.

Assente stood up, taking one of the younger man’s hands into his. Firmly, but still lightly enough that Valentino could escape if he wanted. But he followed behind the tall man, as he led them to his private chambers.

Assente closed the door while Valentino took in the room. He was never in there before. The windows were on the same side as in the main room, but the curtains were almost fully drawn here, so only a little light came in. It felt like evening already. The room itself was not especially big, but it was nicely and stylishly decorated as expected of its owner. The antique bed and lamps were similar in every room in the Vatican, he concluded.

Assente threw himself on the bed with such flair that Valentino couldn’t help but chuckle at the man’s eagerness.

“What are you waiting for, then?”

His voice was a challenge, but Valentino knew him well enough already that he also tried to mask his fear with it. His fear of rejection. The fear that maybe, even if someone loved him, it would be only for his body. Only for sex.

Valentino walked to the end of the bed, standing between Assente’s spread legs. The man was so tall, they were almost at the same level even now when he was sitting. The younger man touched the other’s cheek again and said:

“I don’t want to just fuck you. I want to love you.”

“You can certainly try,” he said with a mocking tone, but Valentino knew it was his vulnerability shining through again.

And he was right because the next second Assente pulled the younger man close and buried his face into his chest. His grip was strong, desperate. Valentino realized that all of his feelings were repressed for so long he couldn’t control them when they finally broke out. The man could never control his face, but it was superficial at best. His real, deepest feelings always remained buried deep inside.

“Let me love you.”

This time Assente stood up and kissed him. This kiss was slower and more passionate. Valentino felt his hands wander, at first over his shoulders then tracing down his chest, finding the buttons of his black cassock. Valentino could only hold onto the cardinal’s pellegrina while he made quick work of the top few buttons of the young man’s cassock. He broke the kiss so he could kneel down and grab the bottom of the garment, and Valentino almost choked because of the cheeky smile the cardinal looked up at him from his kneeling position.

“God, give me strength,” he thought.

Assente stood up, bringing the cassock up with him so the younger man could get out of it. Valentino in turn took off the taller man’s pellegrina and started his own arduous work of the cardinal’s buttons. Meanwhile, Assente traced patterns on the younger man’s exposed neck with his fingertips, and leaned in to leave kisses in their wake. He also got rid of the clerical collar by the time Valentino finished with his buttons. The younger man almost couldn’t entangle the red fascia hanging around Assente’s waist because his hands were shaking with anticipation. And now it was his time to help the cardinal get rid of his cassock, but he still found himself too shy to look up at the man when he leaned down for the hem.

He couldn’t help himself, however, to trace his hands along the man’s sides. He felt the side of his buttocks, the slight curve of his hip bones, the lean dip of his waist. Through the thin fabric of his shirt, he felt the muscles on his chest harden under his touch. Now both men only had their black shirts and pants on, and Valentino felt a certain wall of hierarchy crumble between them. Now they both were only priests, sinning under the roof of Saint Peter.

They got rid of their shirts and pants in record time. Assente found himself lying on his back, Valentino kneeling between his legs. He couldn’t help but appreciate the man like a present, laid bare before his eyes. His red-rimmed black cassock couldn’t hide his form, that was true, but it did hide how well-toned his chest and arms were. His chest was bare, but a dark trail of hair, which disappeared under the band of his underwear, was visible on his stomach.

“Oh…,” Valentino sighed when he realized that the freckles indeed continued down his whole chest.

The look in Assente’s eyes turned to pure lust and… tenderness? The challenge and pain almost disappeared completely as Valentino leaned down to caress his upper body.

“You are beautiful,” he murmured, leaving soft kisses everywhere his hands went. He started with his neck, then shoulders, arms, chest and stomach. He could hear the cardinal’s breath getting quicker and quicker as he went. When he placed a kiss dangerously close to the waistband of his underwear, Assente let out a pathetic whine and tugged at Valentino’s hair. He moved back up and the older man kissed him greedily, his deft hands finding Valentino’s boxers and pulling them down.

Valentino didn’t even have time to break the kiss so he could get rid of the, now somewhat restricting, garment, when he felt a firm hand wrap around his already hard cock.

“Cazzo,” he couldn’t help but swear when the cardinal’s practised hand started to move along his length.

“Sei così bello quando impreci.” (You are so beautiful when you swear.)

His voice in his native language sounded so perfect, as if the deep timbre regained its strength which was lost when he switched to English.

Assente’s hand felt so good on his cock, yet he had to move away to move his boxers out of the way. He finally wanted to see the cardinal without all of his clothes.

Once he stood and removed the annoying garment, which Assente eagerly followed with his eyes, he climbed back to his place between the older man’s toned legs.

“Lift your hips,” he ordered, which the cardinal followed eagerly.

Valentino grabbed the waistband of Assente’s underwear and removed it slowly, paying attention to how the fabric was already almost stretched to its limits. When the cardinal’s cock finally sprang free, it was so hard it almost hit the man in the stomach, the tip already leaking pre-cum.

“Semplicemente bellissimo,” Valentino praised, and he leaned down to slowly wrap his lips around the head.

Assente let out another whiny moan, his hips bucking up, wanting more.

“Such a whore,” he said, and his previous self would certainly slap him crazy if he heard it.

Assente’s eyes grew impossibly big when Valentino swallowed his whole cock almost in one go, which was not easy, considering that the man was not lacking either in length or girth. And when he started sucking on it languidly, the older man’s fist moved to his mouth in order to muffle his desperate cries. It only did so much that the people walking by the apartment couldn’t hear what was going inside, but when Valentino also found his hole, his cries reached such volume he wasn’t sure about even that. He couldn’t care less though, when such a beautiful man was falling apart under his hands (and mouth).

When he added in another finger to stretch Assente’s hole even more, the man started to beg so beautifully Valentino almost came right there. The cardinal tried to push his head away from his aching cock, but it seemed like his previous strength had left him under Valentino’s ministrations.

“Non posso… per favore…,” he breathed, and Valentino let go of his cock but didn’t remove his fingers just yet.

“Valentino… amore, fuck me already!” Assente cried, his voice took on a commanding tone which made Valentino shiver.

He was not a man to object, so he removed his fingers, which earned him another whine, and lined himself up with Assente’s hole. The man was more than ready, but he still moved carefully, inserting the head first. The cardinal’s mouth fell open when he felt Valentino slowly push his length inside. He moved back, then pushed in again, a little more each time. He was so hot and so perfectly tight, welcoming his cock eagerly. When he was fully sheathed inside, the two men looked into each other’s eyes. Valentino felt his heart beating frantically in his chest, while he saw how laboured the other man’s breathing became.

He moved in for a kiss and started to move rhythmically, listening to every sound the man under him let out, to figure out what he liked best. Their kiss broke when Assente threw his head back and grabbed onto Valentino’s shoulder. The younger man repeated his previous movement and there it was again, such a strong reaction to hitting the cardinal’s prostate. So he did it again and again, moving faster as Assente’s cries grew more high-pitched, his grip on Valentino’s shoulder stronger. He felt the cardinal’s nails dig into his skin, surely leaving marks there to remember what happened. He couldn’t care less though, as he sensed Assente was getting closer and closer to his release, and he could find his own approaching too. He gathered all his strength to hold himself with one arm while he wrapped his other hand around the older man’s cock. He matched the rhythm of his hand with his thrusts, and he could soon feel Assente’s cock twitch and his whole body tremble.

“Valentino… Valentino…,” that’s all he could repeat now as his back arched like a bow, all of his muscles tensing.

“Sì, bello, come for me. Look at me when you come… Mario.”

And Assente looked at him, eyes completely black, mouth hanging open as he came all over Valentino’s hand and his own stomach. His cock twitched and shot out cum multiple times as he rode through his high. Valentino only needed a few more trusts to reach his peak, as the cardinal’s muscles gripped him impossibly tightly. Then he came inside Assente. All his strength spent, he fell on top of the man who was still breathing heavily under him.

Then he felt him move, and Valentino thought: “That’s it, he is going to kick me out now.” But instead he felt two strong arms encircle his back, and those, now familiar, fingertips drawing patterns on his heated skin. He propped himself slightly on his elbows to look at Assente. His cock slipped out, which earned him an unintelligible protest, but the man still didn’t open his eyes.

He moved one of his hands to lightly caress the cardinal’s cheek and he found that this was his favourite way of touching his lover. “Oh, to get used to such tenderness.” The man finally opened his eyes and Valentino chuckled as he looked at him through his crooked glasses. He carefully reached for them and put them over to the nightstand on his left side.

“There, now I can finally do this,” he said, and slowly, as if to prepare Assente, placed a feather-light kiss on each of his eyelids. The man looked positively scandalized by such an intimate gesture, and Valentino couldn’t help but smile at his bewildered face.

“I’ll go fetch something to clean ourselves,” he said, and carefully entangled himself from Assente’s embrace.

The man looked reluctant to let go, but was too exhausted to protest. When Valentino returned with a warm, wet cloth, having cleaned himself already in the bathroom, he was still lying in the same position. But Valentino noticed that his breathing had turned back to normal and his eyes had regained their sharpness. The young man cleaned the man’s stomach, cock, and ass gently, looking for any bruises he might have left. Thankfully there was nothing major and Assente didn’t complain, which was a good indicator that he felt fine.

Valentino quickly went back to the bathroom to discard the dirty cloth. When he returned to the bedroom, he found Assente already lying on his side at the edge of the bed, leaving space for Valentino by his back.

“Join me,” he said, and Valentino noticed that his normal voice returned, purged of all the emotions he had bottled up inside.

He moved around the bed and climbed in. He pulled the soft sheets over their bodies and positioned himself behind Assente’s back. He reached over his middle and the cardinal clasped Valentino’s hand in his, pulling them impossibly close. This way Valentino was the big spoon, which was kind of awkward, considering how much smaller he was to the man next to him. But it still felt right.

He thought Assente was already sleeping, when he heard the man speak.

“Thank you, Valentino. For loving me.”

Valentino sighed and squeezed the man’s hand: “I’ve been attracted to you for so long. Only God knows how long. And I never dared to think us was an option.”

“I noticed… I also noticed you watching.”

“You… you did that on purpose?”

“Not exactly. I just… I suddenly felt so lonely. You know how long ago it was someone called me by my name? Called me Mario, with love? I think the last person was my mother.”

“I’m sorry. I do know the feeling. And if you’ll let me, I’ll try to make up for it.”

“Good night, Mario.”

Assente only answered by pulling Valentino’s hand to his lips and kissing it. And Valentino fell asleep by repeating the same mantra over and over in his head: