ok i decided i’m just gonna turn on my work laptop for a bit tonight bc that’s when everybody else is gonna be offline so i can peacefully check my inbox and ready myself for tomorrow. that makes me feel a little better i still have the rest of the day to relax yay i’m gonna play stray

and there’s a team meeting first thing back at work tomorrow morning where i have to present some shit i worked on last month that my manager wants me to share with everyone i dont want toooo :((((((( im gonna need to turn on my work laptop today to prepare and catch up on what i’ve been missing since i wont have time before the meeting. i am filled with dread

i go back to work tomorrow after 1 week away i feel so sick i don’t want to go back :((( i want to stay home with my cat my tv my books my video games :(((

i have been shopping more than usual just casual purchases really but i think it’s pointing to my dissatisfaction about something in my life like i’m using material Things to fill up an emotional hole

i cannot spend time on ig that app rots my heart. it makes me envy. i must protect everyone from my evil eye 🧿 but i love posting stories i just wish i have the self control to only open the app to post my stories and nothing else. more than that i wish i have the self contentment that allows me to feel genuine happiness for others without that sneaky ugly “that should be me”

i made beef rendang for the first time which meant laboring over the stove for 5-6 hours (not including the prep time - buying all the ingredients i never use like lengkuas, daun kunyit, kerisek, cutting, slicing, blending, grinding) and the end product was delicious yay worth all the time and effort. served to my family for lunch then me, mom and bestie went for a girl’s day out, shopping, more shopping, dinner and drinks. perfect way to spend the long weekend ^_^

i’m still not over how devastating that scene was with becka, her mom, aunt lydia and vidala….. this was probably why i didn’t finish the handmaids tale i can’t bear how powerless the women and girls are against gilead. and yet they fight on