why can't you fly, bird?

“    you love me.    ”      she knows.    with everything in her,   she knows.      the connection they share is different from anything she’s experienced before,    and to even think about a life without selene in it is enough to make her feel sick to her stomach.    it hadn’t been easy,   living two completely different lives,    the different code names and the secrets hidden behind private identities.     but it had all lead them to where they were now,    and she would do it all over again if it meant the two of them standing together at the end of this.      “    i know you do.    so don’t do that.    don’t pretend that you don’t have a choice.    ”

“   i’m okay,    ”     she keeps telling him,   as though the more she says it will somehow convince herself.     raven watches the blood slowly wash away and puddle at her feet before being swallowed down the drain,    though it still feels as though she’s covered entirely,    like she’s drowning in the death at her hands.      her back faces him to hide the way it all overwhelms her,   and she does her best not to shake as he rinses the blood from her hair.      but he knows better   –––    he knows her better than anyone,    and she knows she’s unable to hide much from him,     even as she’s sucking in a deep breath and fighting back the tears.

“    yeah?    ”     her tone is bitter,    cold,   and when she finally offers her gaze to the blonde,    it’s with a practiced expression   ––   one that hopefully makes up for the way her heart beats slightly faster at the sight of her.       everything is so different now that she knows the truth.      it feels so calculated,    the way everything has played out.       almost as though raven finding out had been part of the plan all along,     like her feelings were only made to drive the plot.        “    was that part of your mission?    ”      she challenges,    brows raised as arms fold loosely over her chest.      “    or did it take us sleeping together to start your heart?    ”

he’s going to be the one with the broken heart,     and in the end,     raven finds herself okay with that.     she’s given him the warnings,    told him there’s nothing past the casual nightly visits     –––     it will be   his  own  fault   for growing too attached.       still,     there’s a slow shake of her head when he speaks up,   an almost  disappointment  in the way he has let it get this far.         “    you can,    ”      she tells him dryly,    avoiding his gaze    (  it’s easier when she doesn’t have to see she’s hurt him  ).      “    just say it and move on.     you knew what you were getting yourself into.    ”