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I've spent so much of my life hiding truths I desperately wanted to say because others didn't want to hear them. Or even that I suspected others didn't want to hear. And having to say lies or part-lies or nothing at all instead. Or if I chose to tell the truth anyway, being punished for it without mercy or thought. That part I remember. And I carry the little flame of hate in me at all times, because of this.

But even worse, I'm discovering in my memory, are the truths forced out of me, taken from my mouth, when it would have been better for me to lie. Being forced to cough up precious pearls and watch thoughtless animals stomp them into the ground. Being coerced on pain of endless suffering to give truths away to people who had not earned it, and did not deserve it. For being forced, even, to make myself a target of abuse, because I was promised it would be even worse if I lied.

I'm done. My tongue is my own, along with my hands. I will tell truths when I wish. I will tell lies when I wish.

I was never in control of what other people did with either.

"They'll do what they were gonna do anyway." They were always going to. I am responsible for my actions. Not other people's. Not anymore.

This is a warning and a promise. Or un-promise if you'd rather. I am not a story that must be kept straight. I am not a scientific journal that must be reviewed and corrected.

I may still be correct, on purpose or accidentally. And those who pay, or have paid, the price of truth will reap their reward. But if you want only the truth and nothing else, you must look elsewhere.

yes. I've finished. come see.

isn't it beautiful? don't just look. try it out.

it's perfect, of course. an exact fit in every way. I know you. it's what I do. no thing can be perfectly made until I perfectly understand the details of your self. the perfect tool brings perfection to the surface. enacts it.

feels good, doesn't it?

speaking of. we should talk. we haven't talked much. your father keeps you very busy indeed. why do you think that is?

[ she regards the spear, as though she hadn't heard. her lips do not tighten. ]

he's very lucky to have so loyal a daughter. he sees himself in you. how could he not? and we both know why.

he's right. you are very much like your father.

[ you flatter me. ]

that would be the acceptable interpretation, yes. you have quite a knack for that. interpreting things, acceptably. one might say charitably, if we didn't both know what I mean.

[ we stand in his hall. ]

your father's house is large. it contains many things. many more treacherous than words could be.

we will not be heard. and I must speak my piece.

[ speak, then, if you must. ]

I must.

he knows, as you do, as I do, the words of fate. a child will be born from thought and from lightning. and the child will throw down the father, and rule over all.

[ you are petulant. ]

I have every right to be. I scraped my way back here through scorn and in pain and tormented by my mother every step of the way. and when I faced her, she had nothing to say. and still, he favors her.

she is not your mother.

[ stop. ]

and his is the fault. on both counts. that neither of us ever knew love.

[ you were given love. ]

her love cannot be given by another.

[ she loves you still. even now. ]

she loves everyone she sees. and she's taken up with that boy. same idea as me, I think. pity he's such a fool. and too afraid.

she doesn't see me, not really. she sees a ruined child to save. that is not all I am.

you're different. you know exactly what we could do together. you know exactly why we should. and you see, among all others, that I am beautiful.

[ your impatience gets the better of you. ]

what are you waiting for, exactly? a weakness? he will not give you one. how long will you stand at his side, eyeing his neck? we win. you know, you have known, that together, we win.

[ are you so hungry to rule? ]

I am hungry to breathe, for once.

[ breathe how? with everyone watching for their own chance to strike at your neck? ]

yours more than mine. and besides. we both have a way of solving problems before they happen. there will be time. we will make time.

all you need to do is tell me you will.

[ If you have unfolded me, as you say. You know my answer. ]

what I cannot understand is why. and that tells me there is no good reason. no reason but fear.

and if you will not see past it. I can make you.

[ no. you cannot. ]

[]

no. I cannot. how?

[ you see of me what I allow you to. I hide what I wish to hide, where I wish to hide it. ]

you're miserable.

[ I'm throwing your little gift far away. no one will know. be content with this, twisted one. ]

you can remove it, but not unspeak it. it has been made.

[ and it has been broken. and cast away. you should not have tested me. ]

I could not live otherwise.

[ you are very much like your mother. ]

don't leave. please don't leave.

[ I will not be shaped with your hands. nor made a mother. for your sake, or anyone's. ]

your sight does not extend to all things, proud guardian. and when you remember this, I will be waiting.

[ wait, then. fashion your toys. we will not speak of this again. I take my leave. ]

"would you sever body and soul further, if you could?"

and another.

don't 'buddy' me.

thought you'd prefer that to 'kid'. or 'daughter.'

your friend the crow talks a lot. when he's fed anyway.

you're similar. and I see, he's 'my friend' when he's being annoying. you'd met before, if you'll remember.

vaguely. only by feel.

don't rush it. you'll be fine. hello [asshole].

[lighting on her shoulder.] piece of work. cute though. smells like food. fighty. one of your strays for sure.

I'm either flattered or insulted.

insulted. [kissy noise.]

get it looked at. memory, I mean. you tried papering it over. try something else.

might be a while.

correspondences. also you're in me. or at least around. c'mon, do it. it's good for you.

you're deliberately pissing me off with the Jesus stuff.

I won't be bringing you back. that comes later.

did I ask?

I'm a crow. I eat the dead, not the living. mostly not the living. depends.

on what?

I thought you were supposed to give me good advice.