ZERO 5 ZERO 1

Camila Access posted a video on 7/27 in Youtube that cannot be searchable as it’s only accessible by link.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nF0FnlZ84ts&feature=youtu.be

The Great Smudge - Table Cat

Shameless is about Camila’s coming out, simple as that. But it’s just not that. Camila’s not only singing about hersef - she’s singing about her partner (Lauren).

Don’t speak, no, don’t try It’s been a secret for the longest time Don’t run, no, don’t hide Been running from it for the longest time

Camila is talking about a secret relationship where the parties may be running from their feelings. Sounds a lot like Camren around 2013 and 2014, huh? The secrecy is also a theme on Love Incredible and BT. If I might say, Lauren is the one running away from commitment, as described on Señorita:

You say we’re just friends, but friends don’t know the way you taste.

So many mornings I woke up confused In my dreams, I do anything I want to you My emotions are naked, they’re taking me out of my mind

Right now, I’m shameless Screamin’ my lungs out for ya Not afraid to face it I need you more than I want to

This situation and maybe Camila’s sexuality used to make her confused. In her dreams she does anything she wants to Lauren. That’s a powerful metaphor because she couldn’t in real life. So, Camila’s way of dealing with this situation was to come out.

By coming out, Camila takes control of her life and of her situation with Lauren.

Why? If we go down the memory lane, we have Lauren not commiting to Camila and refusing to accept her sexuality while Camila pines and deals with rejection. This is mentioned in Who Are You and OTTM (when Lauren even moved on to someone new, maybe Luis). Lauren’s reasons for not commiting to Camila might include: fear of rejection (family, friends, label), believing falling in love with a woman is wrong (as implied in Burning), and other insecurities. However, she couldn’t let Camila go completely and Camila was holding a burden that wasn’t hers. By coming out, Camila was no longer affected by Lauren’s insecurities. If Lauren rejected her, she could go on and find someone else to spend time with. She didn’t have to hide from her friends and family. She could go around as she liked (as long as she kept it on the down low). And this meant Lauren had to up her game or she’d risk losing Camila for good, as mentioned in No Way.

Show me you’re shameless Write it on my neck, why don’t ya? And I won’t erase it

Camila wants Lauren to come out as well and claim her as her girlfriend. Write it on my neck is a beautiful way of describing a hickey, that can be seen as a possessive gesture.

So we’re there, now it’s real Now that you have me, do you want me still? My kisses are history, they go back a long time, uh And I’m tired of loving somebody that’s not mine, no

There’s just inches in between us I want you to give in, I want you to give in There is tension in between us I just wanna give in

“Kisses are history” are a way of showing that Camren were doing this for the longest time. But Camila is no longer satisfied with someone who won’t stay with her for real. She’s done loving somebody that ain’t hers. As mentioned before, Camila knows that Lauren feels something for her. She wants Lauren to give in to her feelings.

And I don’t care if I’m forgiven

When I first heard Liar, I thought it was an answer to MTT.

I was wrong. Liar happened in the same chain of events NBTS and ATY did. And I’m gonna show you why:

I don’t care if you’re here Or if you’re not alone I don’t care, it’s been too long It’s kinda like we didn’t happen The way that your lips move The way you whisper slow I don’t care, it’s good as gone

Camila is giving herself a prep talk that she doesn’t care about Lauren anymore. If we believe in PM, this all would be when Lauren arranged for them to meet after some insistence. The “if you’re not alone” and “it’s been too long” allude to All These Years:

Couldn’t help but overhear you/ Sounds like you’re happy with her

‘Cause after all these years I still feel everything when you are near

I said I won’t lose control, I don’t want it I said I won’t get too close, but I can’t stop it

Camila’s way of asserting control over her own feelings in this situation is avoiding confrontation. That’s why Lauren had such a hard time convincing her to meet up this time. It’s because Camila knows that, once Lauren is around, she can’t really trust herself. It’s the kind of intoxicating situation detailed in Señorita, Burning, MTT, and NBTS - therefore a part of Camren narrative.

Lauren even acknowledges it on NBTS by telling Camila to stop playing safe and lose control. Also on NBTS, Camila recognizes that running away from her feelings is useless.

Oh no, there you go, making me a liar Got me begging you for more Oh no, there I go, startin’ up a fire

It doesn’t take long for Camila to give in. An interesting parallel here: while Lauren asks Camila to light up her fire in Burning, Camila finds herself starting up a fire in Liar. Meaning… #camilatops

You’re watching, I feel it (Hey) I know I shouldn’t stare (Yeah, yeah) I picture your hands on me But what if, you kiss me? (Yeah) And what if, I like it? And no one sees it

Another sign Lauren is coming after Camila this time is that Lolo is the one watching and Baby C is the one pretending not to see it… as opposed to what’s been told in MTT, where Lauren knows Camila is watching and teases her on purpose.

Oh no, you’re making me a liar 'Cause my clothes are on the floor

I was expecting something sad, not angry. And Camila and Roger read my Tumblr, since I’ve been telling Baby C to go rock from the beginning. It fits her voice. Either way, CFM helps us connect the pieces between the Camren break up in 2016 and their make up in early 2017.

Did you forget, you said that in this lifetime you can never get over me?

The second line gives us a time frame. Lauren would never say she wouldn’t get over Camila in a lifetime in 2013-2014 because she hadn’t accepted her feelings yet. Maybe in 2015, But I believe it comes later on on 2016.

When I said I hope you’re happy, didn’t mean it Never thought you’d be so good at moving on

It’s safe to assume that the break up Camila refers to in this song happened on good terms. That wasn’t the case in 2015, when things were messier because 5H as a whole was involved. But in 2016 they had an excuse for a healthy break up - Camila leaving the group. That was also hinted in Always Love: Nobody talks about walking away when there’s still love.

So, Camila wishes her the best, but words don’t mean much when jealousy comes along.

When I’m lying wide awake, you’re probably sleeping And maybe what I’m thinking is wrong

While Camila doesn’t sleep out of anger and jealousy, Lauren has a hard time waking up without her on Always Love: It’s kinda hard waking up on the morning without you/ When I reach over I realize it’s over, I let the memories wash over me through being adamantly/ But they’re still on the sheets and they stay there, sure, laying there with you

Mija, you’re jealous over nothing.

See that pretty life in pictures See her lips erasing me

Wanna know what’s funny? Lucy spend Christmas with Lauren’s family on 2016 and a picture of them was published by a stylist.

Imagine Camila finding out about this through the news and seeing red. Let’s say Camren broke up because Lauren feared they couldn’t make it through the distance and their crazy agendas. Camila is fine with that, although they’re still much in love. Not even a month later, Lucy - a girl who has hit on Lauren - was spending a family holiday with the Jaureguis.

I fucking get it.

Ohh, who’s gonna touch you like me? Yeah, tell me, who? Who can make you forget about me?

Here’s the ATY link: Couldn’t help but overhear ya/ Sounds like you’re happy with her/ But does she kiss you like I kissed you?

Even when she’s jealous, Camila takes a more active position. She’s not moping around hoping Lauren would come back to her. She’s angry and she challenges: who’s gonna touch her like I did? That shows just how confident Camila is in terms of her sexuality #camilatops

Don’t believe me? Remember Inside Out, when she claimed to be the best of the best? Yes, that’s when Camila revealed that Lauren tried to move on without her, but couldn’t. And when she told L not to waste another girl’s time because none of it could top her loving.

————

Just merch.

Once.

And twice.

And over

and over again.

It’s merch.

It’s a stare.

Or two.

Or more.

Many more.

It’s a hug.

Lots of them actually.

Given with closed eyes,

tender smiles,

sweet caresses,

and so much affection.

It’s a joke, 

a couple of them.

It’s making the fool together

And end up laughing with the other 

or of each other…

It’s a hbd quote.

It’s a picture taken by a stranger.

It’s a nickname.

And another one.

It’s a concert.

It’s a tweet.

It’s messing with each other.

but also, it’s being there for the other,

laughing at the jokes no one else would laugh,

embracing things few gonna embrace.

It’s flirting.

It’s a song.

It’s wishing all can fit in a single post, 

but knowing there’s a lot we haven’t seen, 

a lot more we can’t see, 

and other few that we had seen

that is just impossible get all in one shot, 

´cause it´s history.

It’s a Cuban girl raised in Miami

and another Cuban girl born in Miami.

who after seeing each other for mere coincidence in a TV show, 

couldn’t avoid but fall for one another.

Camren ll Cliffs Edge