1. You didn’t ruin anything. All that time you went without using the behavior is not gone, or undone, or invalidated. You still own all of that time. That accomplishment is still there and can never be ruined. You did not lose your right to be proud of yourself. You haven’t undone any of the progress you’ve made, and you’ve made so much. You’re not ‘back to square one’ - there is no such thing as going backwards in this!
2. Relapsing does not make you a bad person, or a weak person, or anything less than incredible. It’s a common part of trying to quit anything. You are not alone in any of these feelings or moments, they’ve all been felt and survived before. And they’re hard. Relapsing has nothing to do with your character or your strength, so don’t define yourself or your capability based on what you did in that moment. Who you are is not what you did. Who you are is what you want and what you’re trying to do.
3. You don’t need to feel guilty. It’s okay that you still have moments where it’s tempting. Those aren’t your fault. Don’t think of it as something that you did wrong. You don’t need to feel bad for what you turned to when you were in an extremely stressing moment. You just need to keep moving forward and trying your best to replace the harmful coping mechanisms with safe and healthy ones. It’s totally understandable and human that you might feel guilty for doing something that you’ve been working hard to resist – but you have every right to push away the guilt and focus on moving forward and taking care of yourself.
4. Time is still passing and you are still moving forward every day. Those difficult moments are going to happen less and less with time. Every day, you’re another day closer to feeling totally fantastic & looking back proudly on how you got through this (bad days and moments of self-doubt included.)
5. I love you and I am so proud of you.
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