InkLinkLing

I am both a victim and an abuser.

I have helped to propagate this cycle of abuse by accepting what happened to me as a consequence of my own behaviour — which should never justify or excuse theirs.

The same is true where I am the abuser: my victim’s actions should never justify or excuse my actions, my thoughts, or my behaviours.

I have been sexually assaulted a number of times in my life. I have let it go unnoticed. I have made excuses and minimized my abuse.

There is a difference in how male and female victims internalize and vocalize these transgressions — and in how society views them. The way our society paints these two distinct pictures, and their resulting dissonance is a tragedy.