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period cramps. đŤ | Trafalgar D. Water LawÂ
Pairing(s): Trafalgar D. Water Law x reader
Genre: Smut, fluff
Warnings: This content is for a mature audience.
Synopsis: Law hates seeing you in pain, but he might just have the remedy.
Author's notes: I'm on my period and it fucking sucks, so I felt the need to write this. Also, I've been in a Law mood these days, but that isn't news. Btw, Kinktober will be returning soon. I'm sorry, my body decided to be a bitch, and I couldn't write for a while. Thank you, @sister-lucifer, for the gorgeous dividers.
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Kinktober masterlist
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âI donât know what else to do. She says the pain is getting worse. Iâve given her a bunch of remedies, but none of them are working.â Chopper scratched the back of his head, turning the pages of the book, looking for anything that he mightâve missed.Â
Robin and Nami were helping him, but couldnât find anything new in your books or Chopperâs. Only being able to watch as you contort yourself from pain and cry with every cramp.Â
âShould we call, Law?â The older woman suggested.Â
âAlready did, but he hasnât shown up,â Nami said while stroking your forehead to try to comfort you.Â
âIâll go look...âÂ
The door opened, and the Surgeon of Death made his way inside the room. A book on one hand and a mortar and pestle on the other, âI found this remedy, donât know if it works, but sheâs not allergic to any of the ingredients and it wonât clash with anything sheâs taken already.â He sat on the bed. âHere, drink this.âÂ
You couldnât hear him between your groans and the paralyzing pain you felt. Robin and Chopper helped you sit straight, and Nami pushed the mixture into your mouth. It was disgusting, bitter, grainy, it made you nauseous, but not any more than you already felt.Â
âNow, we wait.â Law didnât look away from your trembling body.Â
He might seem like heâs uninterested, sadistic, or cold, but he generally didnât like seeing people in pain. And you were above the general public in his mind; you were... tolerable. More than that, but he wonât say it out loud. Since getting on the Sunny, everything seemed to be chaos, absurdity, and loudness, but then you offered your enchantmentsâ room as a quiet place, away from the constant fights between the swordsman and the chef, the trials that Usopp and Franky conducted till high hours of the morning, and, most importantly, away from Luffy. He doesnât hate your captain, but my gods, he can be annoying. Both of you would sit next to each other for hours, reading, taking notes, and sometimes engaging in long conversations about politics, medicine, and life.Â
Law found you comforting.Â
Chopper's breathing and heartbeat relaxed as soon as he saw your body calm down. The whimpers stopped, your posture loosened up, and your eyes shut down; you promptly began snoring.Â
âShe fell asleep!â Nami whispered, relieved and beyond happy to see her friend no longer in distress.Â
Robin sighed, finally able to sit back.Â
âIâll monitor her. All of you should go rest.â Law suggested,Â
âAre you sure?â Now that the anxiety had gone, Chopper could feel how tired he was, heavy eyelids and red eyes, but felt responsible for your health.Â
âGo to bed, Tony-ya. Iâll take care of her.â The surgeon insisted.Â
After contemplating it for a couple of moments, and the magical touch of Nami on his scalp, Chopper relented. He made sure Law promised to call him if anything happened.Â
âThank you, doctor,â Robin said, giving him a look and smile that left him feeling uneasy. Â
Was he that obvious? No, sheâs just that observant.Â
An hour went by. He checked on your breathing and pulse; both seemed fine. He cleaned up the table, made a couple of annotations so Chopper didnât have to, and arranged the blankets. Anything to keep himself busy.Â
He found a novel lying around and gave it a look, leaning next to you on the bed. He wasnât particularly invested in it, but it was better than nothing. He did this until he felt the covers shift and noticed how the previous signs of ache sprout back on your body.Â
You whined, curling up into a ball. Your hands gripped the skin of your belly, with glassy eyes and red cheeks. Â
âIs the pain back?â Unconsciously, his hand went to your back, his hand going up and down, bringing warmth to your skin.Â
You could only nod and groan.Â
âIâll make you some tea. Iâm sorry, I cannot give any more medicine, at least not for a few more hours.â He hurried, but as he was about to leave, you grabbed his hand.Â
âLaw,â you moaned, and he turned to look at you, worry in his eyes, âplease, stay with me.âÂ
âItâll be a second, let me...âÂ
You shook your head, âYou and I know it wonât do shit. Just stay. Please.âÂ
And he did. He sat down, not letting go of your hand and not looking away. Only your whimpers and the sounds of the sea clashing against the ship could be heard. You tossed and turned, tears ran down your cheeks, and he didnât hesitate to wipe them away.Â
âIt hurts, Law.â You cried.Â
âI know, Iâm sorry.â He cringed at how bad he was at comforting you.Â
âPlease, make it stop.â You took his hand and pressed it against the naked skin under your belly, the touch immediately sending shivers down your body.Â
He sighed. An idea popped into his head, and it made his face burn. No. Gods, what kind of pervert has he become to think of such a thing? Has he been spending too much time around Sanji? Oh gods, is it contagious?Â
âLaw...â You pleaded.Â
His mouth opened and closed, not knowing what to say. Should he even suggest it? Would you hate him? Would you be disgusted?Â
âThereâs a method we havenât tried.â He looked away, not daring to look you in the eyes.Â
You hummed, heavy-breathed and desperate for any solution.Â
âUmm... I, we, I, you...â He wanted the sea to swallow him alive.Â
âLaw...âÂ
âI... Look, know that Iâm not trying to do anything, but... I, umm, we,â His heart was about to beat out of his chest.Â
âLaw...âÂ
âThereâs this way we, umm, we can...âÂ
âLaw, just fucking say it.âÂ
âOrgasms can help ease the pain.â There, finally.Â
The silence was deafening. Law couldnât believe he dared say it, and now he wanted to commit seppuku. Forgive him, CorazĂłn. Forgive him, Bepo. But he shall...Â
âOkay, letâs do it.âÂ
He turned to look at you, wide-eyed, âWhat?âÂ
âYou suggested we... oh, shit, did I misunderstand you?â Now you were the one drowning in the shame, âOh gods, you wanted me to masturbate, didnât you? Shit, Iâm sorry I...âÂ
âNo, no, no. You were right, I was suggesting... Umm, I was offering to do it myself.âÂ
âOh.âÂ
You both look pathetic, rouged face and hiding away, acting like measly virgins.Â
Eventually, you managed to look past the embarrassment. Law was now sitting behind you; you rested on his chest. His hands stroke your arms up and down to appease your nerves, and his. And you canât help but observe his tattoos. The ink on his skin had made you clench your legs more than once, but never did you imagine your fantasies would turn reality in such a way.Â
âAre you ready?â He said, his fingers going down, now massaging your legs.Â
âDoesnât blood gross you out?âÂ
He snorted, âIâm a surgeon, love.âÂ
âRight, sorry. Iâm ready.âÂ
He went slow, rubbing the skin of your thighs, getting you used to his touch, every stroke getting closer to your core until it finally reached it.Â
âIâm going to touch, okay?â He whispered in your ear, making you tremble.Â
You nodded.Â
He moved hesitantly, grazing your inner lips, forming an upside-down V around them with his fingers, massaging you and pressing your clitoris from the outside, âDoes that feel good?âÂ
You gasped and bit lightly on your lip.Â
He continued this for a few more moments before daring to open you up, moving up and down. The mixture of your blood and arousal produces wet noises. He circled on your clit, wanting you to relax. He pushed and toyed with it, carefully watching your reactions, what made you moan, gasp, all this permanently embedded in his memory.Â
âLaw...â You whimpered, grabbing his hand, squeezing it.Â
âYou like it?âÂ
âYes, more, please.âÂ
This time, his fingers travelled to your entrance, moving around it, teasing a bit, because he just couldnât help himself, but when he heard you complain, he obliged. Two of them thrusting themselves inside, they met no resistance, so he chose a rougher tempo.Â
Your legs would thrash around, shutting and being opened back by his other hand, your back would arch against his chest, and your bottom would grind on his crotch, making him groan.Â
One of your hands flew back, pulling on his hair, pushing him closer to your neck, where he sucked on your skin, kissing and bruising it to satisfy you, him, and make a silent statement.Â
âFuck, Law!â You tossed your head back, your other hand going to your breasts, massaging them before pulling on your nipples.Â
His thumb made circles on your clit, matching the rhythm of his thrusts. His breathing laboured and heavy on your ear, âYou feel so fucking good on my fingers.âÂ
You whined, tugging harder on his locks.Â
He continued his assault, fucking your sensitive core, submitting to his pace and setting every nerve in your body on fire. Heâd whisper the most sinful things, making you clench and cling tighter around his hands, swearing to you and every god there is that this wouldnât be the last time heâd have you crying out his name.Â
âIâll make sure you won't want anyone else after this.âÂ
He could feel himself leaking against the fabric of his pants. He ached to be inside you, but he ignored the need. Right now, his number one want and need was to watch you crumble under his touch.Â
âPlease, what, love? Tell me what you want.âÂ
âPlease, please make me cum.â You begged, grabbing his arms and digging your nails into his skin.Â
âTake it, sweetheart, cum on my fingers.â He doubled his efforts, not caring if he could feel his articulations sting and tense, heâd get you there, âtake whatâs yours, love, come on.âÂ
Your hips moved against his hand, chasing the pleasure. The knot in your belly got tighter and hotter with every thrust. Your mouth blabbered nonsense and his name again and again, âOh, fuck, Iâm going to cum, Iâm going to cum, Iâm, Iâm...â It snapped. You gasped and pulled him close to your chest, crying in ecstasy.Â
âThatâs it, baby! Thatâs it, my love. Such a good job, fuck you did so good.âÂ
Who would have thought the surgeon would be so good at praising?Â
After the euphoria had gone down and the delicious exhaustion had settled on your muscles, you said, âThank you, Law.âÂ
âMm, my pleasure. How are you feeling? Are the cramps still there?â He kneads your hips softly.Â
âActually, they...âÂ
The door opened.Â
âMon amour, Iâve brought you some tea, Chopper said youâre still...â Sanji appeared behind it, making you both freeze in place. The chefâs eyes almost popped out of his head, the tray shook in his hands, and smoke came out of his nose and ears.Â
âSanji...â You tried. Â
âWhat the fuck do you think you are doing?â He yelled at the top of his lungs. Well, now the entire ship knew.
âHow can we even know that actually helps? Maybe heâs trying to take advantage of my poor swan.â Sanji grumbled, lighting up the sixth cigarette of a fresh pack and crossing his arms, pouting.Â
âOh, it helps.â Robin sipped on her coffee, side-eyeing Franky, who blushed and gave her a big smile.Â
Nami giggled and pushed the archaeologist with her shoulder.Â
âOh, come on!â Sanji left the room, slamming the door. Everyone could hear him screaming outside, yelling to the gods, threatening to jump off the ship.Â
The rest of the crew went silent for a couple of seconds. Nami, Robin, and Franky smiled and giggled amongst themselves. Usopp shushed them and covered Chopperâs ears, who, by the way, knew exactly what was going on âheâs a doctor, he just didnât know Law and you were married... cause only married people do such things, at least thatâs what the Doctor told him. Jinbei simply tried ignoring the drama and squeezed some lemon into his tea. Luffy continued munching on whatever he could find in the kitchen.Â
Law entered the room, more than aware of how nosey the entire Straw Hat crew is, and is dreading having to answer any questions. Though seeing the cook contemplating throwing himself into the sea is quite amusing.Â
âTorao.â Zoro acknowledges him. Eyes and arms closed.Â
âRoronoa-ya.âÂ
âLaw, how is she?â Robin starts.Â
âSheâs okay, having a nap. Iâm just here to brew some more tea and grab her something to eat.â He walks to the stove.Â
The door squeaks as it opens.Â
âMove out of my way.â The blonde man pushes him away. He opens the cabinets and pulls out a bunch of herbs and a mug, âYou aren't taking my fucking job, youâve already taken enough.â He mumbles loud enough just for the two. Â
Law sighs, exhausted, but lets him.Â
âTorao.â Now itâs Luffy who calls for him.Â
âYes, Mugiwara-ya?âÂ
âDid the thing you did help?âÂ
Lawâs face filled with blood from his cheeks to his ears and neck. He pushed his hat down to cover the reaction, âUmm..., yes. Yes, it did.âÂ
âGood. Please keep doing it till she recovers.âÂ
âLuffy!â Sanji and Nami jumped at the statement.Â
Working on an AU where Sora successfully saves all of her boys and Judge is not too pleased. By the by: an old pirate named Zeff encounters a whole basket of vegetables out on the sea...
Sora is able to sabotage Judge's attempts to weaponize her boys, but all of them (except Sanji) are still born with minor enhancements- though not in the way Judge wants:
Sanji is deemed a failure from the start: too weak, afraid and emotional to be good for much, and quickly Judge targets him for abuse- routinely beating him and sending him to the lab, seeking any way to make use of him. When it's apparent that he wont get the results he wants, the king masks him and throws him in the dungeons, pretending he no longer exits before moving to the next "subject"
Yonji proves to be more durable/heals faster, so Vinsmoke endeavors to see if he can provoke regenerative re-growth. What starts as experimental cuts escalates into full on removal of his left arm, and for a while- Yonji's body is able to keep up- slowly regrowing again and again. Then- one day, the last of Judges poison is filtered form his system, and his ability to regenerate stops. Disbelieving, judge has his scientists continue their testing, resulting in the removal of Yonjis other arm. Once its proven that his regenerative abilities have ceased, Jude looses interest in him, and he is sent to join Sanji in the dungeons, with one barely functioning prothetic as his only recompense.
Niji's senses are insanely sharp- specifically his sense of sight, hearing and smell. Recognizing this, Judge tries to amplify them further: wanting to push the limit of human ability. Unfortunately, he pushes too hard, and by "removing the caps" from Niji's already enhanced senses, he forces his son into a constant state of abject overstimulation. Abruptly the world becomes too loud, too bright, too sharp, too painful, too rough, too everything. Music is the only thing that helps ground him (along with dark glasses and headphones), but Judge wont have it and immediately sees Niji as another failure, sending him to join his other brothers in the cage.
Ichiji is the closest thing to a success in terms of Judges modifications (even despite his sanji-like empathy and unwillingness to fight): Still, He's strong, fast, agile and has impressive endurance... More-so, he's the only one out of the quadruplets to actually have some proven super-human ability (thanks to Germas medical interventions). Ichiji is able to conduct small amounts of electricity and can shock specific targets. Seeing this as a breakthrough, Judge tries to hone that but once again, overreaches. As a result, Ichiji's abilities are boosted to something he can not control, and he himself is in terrible pain anytime he tries to harness them, resulting in burns and a near-constant tingling under the skin. Unable to find a solution (and unwilling to put up with the boys pleading to stop), Judge once again sends his son into the dungeon.
Reiju meanwhile, is unable to defy her fathers orders but is unwilling to let her brothers suffer under his hand. After Soras death, everything goes from bad to worse, and upon finding all four of her sibling imprisoned, she takes it upon herself to orchestrate their escape. Similar to the OG story, once Germa crosses into the East Blue, Reiju frees her brothers and has them take refuge on the Orbit, promising that one day, when she's free from their fathers orders, she'll come and find them (Cue: future tragic princess rescue, feat. Zeff's boys and the Strawhats).
Terrified but trusting their sister (wanting judge to remain oblivious to their escape), the four hide in a lifeboat: deciding to stowaway incase news of their flight got out.
Sanji and Ichiji regularly sneak out of their hiding place to steal food and supplies from the Orbit, until one day (while they are looting food from the pantry stores) the ship is boarded by the infamous Red-Leg Zeff and his Cook pirates.
The rock then happens, and it is only thanks to the boy's stolen stores (hidden away in their lifeboat) that they have even the slightest chance at survival. Ultimately, during their time on the rock (and near starvation and death), Zeff graduates to unwitting parent and new father- adopting each of the broken boys with all the staunch grit of a weathered lion.
Determined to see them survive and be free from whatever horrors they'd run from, the old man decides then and there to retire from piracy and focus on "getting his feet back under 'im"- resulting in the Baratie and his four starting staff:
Ichiji begins as the host, eventually running the front of house and manning the books as he gets older. As a hobby, he picks up writing and painting, finding happiness and success in his role at the restaurant while gaining a following for his artistic endeavors (oft posted as culture submissions in the News Coo).
Niji flourishes with his music, taking up composing, violin, piano, guitar and singing. He regularly plays for the Baratie, and quickly amasses a dedicated fanbase- drawing more buzz for the restaurant while making his mark as an exceptional musical talent. Later on- Niji will demand that Sanji introduce him to Brook (him being a huge fan of Soul King), and the two wind up collaborating on some of the best lounge music ever heard on the open seas.
Sanji obviously takes up the role of sous, and when Luffy and the other straw hats come to spirit him away (demanding he be their chef), the decision to go is as painful as it is supported. His brothers know of his dream to find the All-Blue: more, they know Zeffs yearning to see it discovered, and out of love for the old man and their brother, they urge him go out to sea.
Lastly, Yonji is just thrilled to have a safe home with his brothers. He takes on all sorts of roles around the ship, happy to help with whatever is needed (wait-staff, dish-boy, poissonnier, baker etc.). He becomes sort of a "jack of all trades" in the kitchen, though eventually, he is trained and allowed to man the back bar on his own. He's excellent at this: chatty, friendly, knowledgeable on all manner of drink, wine and liquor on the blues, mysterious with his two machine arms, charming, and always ready to laugh. Outside of his role on the restaurant, he is a self taught machinist and designed his own new limbs as well as Zeffs prosthetic, Nijis hearing aids (to reduce sound), and a dampener for Ichiji (calming the buzz in his hands).
All in all, they live wonderful lives until Germa finally comes looking for them. Judge has kept Reiju as his perfect princess and heir, but (just like the OG story) is unwilling to give away his most valuable child in barter with Big Mom- thus: hunting down his forgotten sons, hoping to find one "useful enough" to offer to the pirate empress.
While he successfully steals 1, 2, and 4, Judge underestimates what both Zeff and Sanji and willing to do to see their family freed. What results is Straw-hat induced chaos, the fall of a king, the ruin of a country, the wrath of an emperor, and (most importantly) Red-Leg receiving his long-overdue daughter.
lol, anyway, maybe one day i will write this whole thing out (after i finish my other fic)- but for now you get the idea.
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I'm graduating tomorrow but I low-key wanna finish the zanka fic I'm currently writing, also lawstudent!higuruma Ă medstudent!reader who tutors each other because higuruma has a medical malpractice class and reader needs to pass her ethics class then they lowkey fall for each other, super slowburn, friends to lover type shii (I actually don't know about any college stuff but I'll learn) who wants that?
CONTENT WARNING. MDNI, fem! reader, law student! reader, lawyer higuruma, 6.9k words, age gap (24&36), fluff & smut, slow burn? game of thrones references, porn with plot, unprotected sex, office sex, rough? sex, sloppy makeouts, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, higuruma is an EATER, spit, praise, choking, pussy spanking, dirty talk, belly bulge, big dick higuruma, he loves eye contact, dacryphilia? heâs mean & cocky if you squint. enjoy!
your pen sits between your teeth as your eyes switch from the thick textbook splayed open on your kitchen island and your laptop screen.
the cursor blinks for the millionth time in your setup word document. countless words plastered in that irritating format of times new roman size twelve that youâve done a thousand times over.
words mutter under your breath as you multitask in reading, taking notes, and applying the newfound information to your assignment.
âhey, is your prof still asking you guys to take internships?â
your roommate comes from hibernating out of her room, eyes glued to her phone as she saunters over to the kitchen.
you barely catch the words that fly out her mouth, brows furrowing as you look up from your work for the first time in hours. the swivel stool you sat on creaks as you sit up straighter, cringing from how long you held that crouching position.
âuhâŚ. no.â you shake your head, confused as to why she brought it up. she was never the type to dwell on your life as a law student unless overhearing about a case study that seemed âtoo juicyâ to skip out on. âdeadlineâs like, next week so theyâre just talking about the paper due the week after to describe our experience so far.â
âoh.â she says, sounding surprised. âwell, did you find anything?â
you hum. âiâve got an interview tomorrow. itâs multi-hire so iâve got a good chance. why?â
ânothing really.â she shrugs, taking a breath as she scavenges the freezer, grabbing the first pint of ice cream she sees. âa friend of my cousin works at this law firm and i think she said theyâre looking for a temp since sheâs going out of the country for a while.â
you nod, chewing on the end of your pen. âsend me their info. iâll check it out.â
so thatâs exactly what you do. your roommate helps you exchange information with this friend who youâve learned to be is a young woman named shimizu. she worked as a assistant for an independent defense attorney, higuruma hiromi.
youâve heard his name a few times from news outlets, primarily known to take on difficult cases but nonetheless highly skilled and quite honestly a prime example of what you hoped to become as far as talent.
shimizu was going overseas for a little over half a year. thatâs entirely way more than what your assignment calls for but you would be paid well plus it could serve as the perfect job to strengthen your experience in law.
it didnât take much for shimizu to hire you, her eagerness to hurry up and leave was clear. she sent you an email describing her normal routine, things to keep an eye on that higuruma normally forgets and a warning to just be patient for any cases he picks up.
naturally, you were nervous. palms sweating as you clutched your purse and tucked the folder shimizu provided tightly between your arm.
your heels clack with each step you make up into the building then finally, in bold letters, âhiguruma law officeâ. you knock, looking around as you wait for a response.
âcome in.â
the voice is so deep it sends chills down your spine. anxiety pools your chest as you twist the handle, making slow hesitant steps into the office.
itâs small but not cramping and fairly neat. you continue forward, making your presence known. who you assume to be higuruma sits at a chair, pen scribbling against a paper at an incredible speed.
he doesnât look up at first, deeply sighing and too focused on the work in front of him. that is until he takes notice of your silence following your entry. his eyes immediately lift, dragging over your attire for a momentary second. âiâm sorry.â he clears his throat, standing then approaching you with his hand out. âhow can i help you?â
âi⌠uhm⌠iâm y/n.â you meet his hand with a nervous smile. âiâm filling in for shimizu?â itâs embarrassing how unsure you sound as if you hadnât met shimizu yourself telling you detail for detail about the duties of the job.
his brows furrow slightly as he slowly slips his hand from your weak grip. he checks his watch then runs his fingers through his hair. âright, right. i forgot about thatâŚâ he sighs, moreso to himself and then nods, pointing to the empty cubicle beside his. âtake a seat, did shimizu already inform you on what weâre currently working on?â
you nod, carefully setting your belongings down and making yourself comfortable on the chair.
âcould i see? if you donât mind.â he stands over you, watching as you turn the monitor on with quickness and log in to your email account, surfing through the important ones you had starred before finally landing on shimizuâs.
higuruma leans over, his presence immediately makes you feel small and you can slightly feel the weight of his chest as he gently grabs the mouse from your hand.
you keep your eyes on the screen, fiddling with your fingers while he looks at the lengthy details relayed. suddenly, he takes a breath then clicks forward and slides the keyboard over.
âlooks good.â he finally stands, eyes dropping down to you. âweâll just be working on that for today. if anything changes iâll let you know.â
for the first three weeks of working for higuruma goes the same way. coming into the office, saying hello, and him sharing any updates on the current case. some days call for extremely long hours, others are your typical. then there were days like today where youâd be traveling together and have to stay overnight at hotels.
one room, separate beds.you and higuruma hadnât crossed that bridge of being comfortable with one another just yet. it was still awkward smiles and brief exchanges of conversation only in relation to work.
with the work day being over, you showered and decided to walk around the hotel for a bit, maybe grab a bite to eat. you also brought your textbooks and laptop so you could use the time to study for the baby bar you have coming up.
you sat at a table, eating as you focus on your studies. no more than half an hour passes when a figure approaches your table.
âmind if i sit?â
your eyes lift at the deep voice, widening for a short second as you realize it to be higurumaâs. he stands there in a plain black t-shirt and same colored plaid pajama pants with a plate of food in his hand.
it was different to see him in a more cosy state rather than being suited up. when you focus on the fact heâs still there, tilting his head as he waits on your response you sit up and nod a bit frantically.
âyesâyes, of course. please sit.â you gesture to the seat ahead of you which he takes.
itâs silent for a moment as youâre more frigid now, eyes glued to your book without reading a damn thing. higuruma pops a fry into his mouth, looking around the semi-packed dining area before returning his attention to you. âyouâre still in school?â
you nod, âin my first year.â
he raises a subtle brow at that which you donât even notice considering youâve found it difficult to always make eye contact with him.
âfirst year?â he hums, chewing down on another fry. âyouâre young.â
âi guessâŚâ you laugh shyly. âitâs not like youâre old.â
he smiles at that, leaning in with his elbows on the table as he continues to take singular bites of his food. âyou donât think so? how old do you think i am?â
you shrug, finally lifting your eyes to scan the features of his face.
he was obviously older than you but you only deduced that from the way he talks and conducts himself yet he didnât share any facial features that gave away his age.
âthirty?â you squint, not wanting to guess too high and he gets offended.
he chuckles, shaking his head. âno, but iâm honored you thought that low. iâm thirty six.â
âstill young.â you smile, dropping your eyes back down.
âso whatâre you learning?â he sighs, leaning back again, spreading his long legs to be more comfortable and points at your books.
ânothing really.â you mumble. âjust studying for the baby bar.â
âwowâŚâ he nods partially in shock, suddenly thinking of the age gap between you. itâs been so long since his days of staying up all day and all night long when preparing for that exam. âyou think youâve got it? i could help you out.â
you definitely donât got it. there were still at least another two months before youâd have to take the exam. all the current information you were learning was still processing and quite honestly you had a habit of doubting your skills and werenât sure if youâd be able to get the score youâre aiming to achieve.
you shake your head at higurumaâs offer. âno, itâs okay. you already have so much going on. i rather not add to that.â
âiâm offering.â he smiles warmly, wanting to assure that it wasnât a big deal as he crosses his arms lazily across his chest.
itâs only for second that you ogle the surprising size of his bicep when itâs contracted. you shake your head again. âiâll be fine. thank you though. i appreciate it.â
higuruma hums not pushing any further on the subject. âdo you drink?â he asks after swallowing down a bite of his burger.
âsometimes.â you shrug, clicking through your documents of notes that you were hardly paying attention to with higuruma making small conversation.
âwould you like to drink now?â
the second time you look at him you see the teasing look in his own as if heâs urging you to loosen up for the night. heâs clearly in the mood to get to know you. perhaps one night of a few drinks wouldnât be so bad.
âi supposeâŚâ you sport a bashful smile, clicking out of your tabs and shutting down your laptop. you set it aside with your textbooks as higuruma orders your first round of drinks.
it starts off timid as if heâs testing the waters with some cocktails then began to try a little of everything. tropical drinks, shots, beer, and wine. of course you limited yourself to one of eachâ aside from the shots due to the fact you had a busy day tomorrow but it was surely enough to get you a bit passed tipsy.
higuruma proved to be holding his liquor better than you, smiling fondly as you babble on about the targaryen family line. at first he was curious about a video you were laughing at from tiktok and had to explain it was from game of thrones. you then learned he never watched the show and thought heâd find major interest in it.
you would yap about the politics, power, family, loyalty, and corruption. though once you got to the targaryens, higuruma had to pause at the mention of inbreeding.
âso whatâs the difference between velaryonsâs and targaryenâs?â
âvelaryon and targaryen are house names.â you giggle, toying with your straw. âfamily lines. being valyrian is like, their racial background.â
âinterestingâŚâ he nods, sipping on his rum & coke. âand whatâs the relationship between uh⌠daenerys? and jon?â
âi really shouldnât be telling you this.â you laugh. âdonât you want to watch it now?â
ââŚi guess youâre right.â he grins, followed by a sigh as he stretches his arms over his head. âshould we watch it tonight?â
you check the time on your phone, it was late. nearing midnight. it was tempting to indulge in a late night watch of one of your favorite shows but youâd probably regret it by the morning.
you bite down on your bottom lip, hiding the smile that wants to show. âitâs lateâŚâ you sigh out. âwe probably shouldnât.â
âthen letâs start now.â he urges, opening his wallet and dropping a few dollars to cover the tab and allow the server to end their night with a more than generous tip. âcâmon.â he gestures his head, holding his hand out to you.
even with being a little drunk, you still felt shy coming in such close contact with higuruma. as you lifted your hand to connect with his, he guided you through the hotel and it grew quieter upon reaching the elevators.
heâs still holding your hand, waiting for them to open. you attempt to ignore the way his thumb gently brushes against your skin rhythmically and how this must look to bystanders. the thought is cut short when the doors finally split open and higuruma lets go of your hand to palm your lower back.
higuruma follows you in, pressing the floor number. you stand side by side, him humming a soft tune whilst you stare down at your feet to avoid meeting his stare that you could feel burning into you.
it was like a breath of fresh air upon reaching your floor and seeing the doors open. higuruma places his hand to your back again, guiding you down the quiet hall before reaching your room.
he presses the keycard to the sensor, following you in. you take slow steps inside, dropping your laptop and textbook onto your bed.
âwhatâs it on?â he huffs, turning on the tv.
you make yourself comfortable under the sheets, sighing in relief from the cold. âhbo.â
he surfs for a few seconds before shaking his head. âi donât think this tv has that.â
âohâŚâ you frown then look at your laptop. âi mean, we could watch it on my laptop?â
he turns, thinking on what that means.
you both knew that meant laying down on the same bed, next to each other. he rubs his chin in thought. âonly if youâre okay with it.â
your body grows hot but you nod slowly, scooting over to make space for him. he eyes the empty space for a few seconds, making hesitant steps forward. âare you sure? we could always watch it another time.â
ââŚitâs okay.â you spoke softly. âi want to watch it with you.â
he smiles at that, proceeding to lift up the covers and tuck himself under the covers beside you. the immediate warmth of his skin brushes yours and the two of you look at each other the moment heâs settled.
his eye contact is so intense and⌠unsettling almost that it has chills run down your spine. you want to look away but higuruma speaks up before you can.
âyouâre really shy for a future lawyer.â
your brows furrow at his statement. âmânot.â
âyou are.â he chuckles, eyes low as he can feel the crash from all the drinks overtake him.
âi think itâs just you.â you boldly argue.
he raises a brow. âyeah? what about me makes you so shy?â
you open your mouth but nothing can follow through especially with him so close you can feel your stomach churn when you catch yourself looking at his lips. âjust⌠shut up.â you huff, grabbing for your laptop.
higuruma laughs, watching you log into hbo, searching for game of thrones. he steps out of the bed momentarily to turn off the lights before you can press start.
you settle the laptop atop both your legs, sighing as you press play on the first episode.
within the first thirty minutes, you fall asleep, your head rested against higurumaâs shoulder. he stayed up through three episodes, thoroughly enjoying the cause of events but forced himself to go to sleep or else heâd be having a rough day.
by the time the morning comes and your alarm goes off, you groan softly, eyes struggling to flutter open. you aimlessly search for your phone, shutting off the annoying sound before laying back down but then you feel a touch of skin.
you fully open your eyes, face twisting in fear at the sight of higuruma in your bed sound asleep. you werenât that drunk where you didnât remember wanting to watch game of thrones together but you werenât sure why he stayed on your bed through the rest of the night.
you poked him, the action immediately waking him up. he breathes heavily, eyes fluttering open. he turns his head to face you. âgood morning.â
ââŚmorning.â you mumble, all the slight confidence you gained last night completely gone. though you did feel a certain comfortability now around him.
âsleep okay?â he husks out, lifting himself from the bed.
you nod, nervously twisting the sheets.
he checks the time. it was still early and you wouldnât be meeting with your client until the afternoon. âdo you want breakfast?â
âsure.â
âanything in particular?â he grabs his keys from the nightstand, swinging them around his pointer finger.
âyour choice.â you shrug.
he hums. âgo shower. get dressed. iâll be back.â
you do as he says, showering, getting dressed, then eat breakfast with him once he gets back.
the day follows on as planned, you meet with the client, discuss the case, write down details, aim to search for more evidence and layout options.
for the next few weeks, you spent long hours traveling with higuruma to collect more evidence in support of your case. for a time you were able to juggle all the work but the stress of your bar exam coming up was starting to take a toll.
you wanted more time to study but you also had to sacrifice a lot of time to help higuruma. so you start to force yourself to stay up most nights, hardly getting any sleep, caffeine intake drastically rising.
it not only began to present itself through your physical presence but with the way you interacted with higuruma. at first he could understand having been in your position of working between school, studying, and work but as the weeks passed he noticed your decline was starting to affect your work performance.
heâd allow for a few things to slide but not at the risk of a client's future behind bars. so when he asks you a question and you remain too zoned out to answer, heâll sigh.
ây/n.â
âhm?â youâll hum, pen twisting between your teeth, completely focused on the textbook laid out.
âlook at me.â he commands, tone still gentle as he waits for your eyes to meet his. higuruma was completely aware of your inability to do so but he couldnât care at the moment. so when you only lift them for a second as if to show you were listening then drop them back to your computer screen he shakes his head with a sigh.
you donât even notice him stand then come around to palm your chair until he shuts your laptop closed and snatches the pen from your hand. he ignores your surprised reaction. âis this becoming too much for you?â
you frown, opening your mouth to say something but you canât follow through. instead you shake your head.
he spins you in your seat, forcing you to face him. âcan you look at me when iâm speaking to you, please?â
âhiguruma, iâm sorryââ you start with a small pout, not listening to what he asked.
âyou donât need to apologize. just look at me.â
itâs silent for a few seconds and you finally flicker your eyes up to look at him. a hand rests on the chair, the other on your desk completely caging you in. you can smell the strong but warm scent of his cologne that radiates off his skin and clothes.
âis this too much for you?â he asks again. âi can give you a break.â
ân-no.â you deny his inquisition. âthe work is fine. itâs just⌠the studying. iâve got my exam coming up really soon, iâm sorry.â
âitâs fine.â he assures, âlook, on the weekends and on our breaks, iâll help you study. itâs not nice seeing you like this, okay?â
you nod and he stands at his full height, comfortably squeezing your shoulder then patting your head. âtake a nap. you look like you need it.â
there was about one more month left until youâd have to take the exam and higuruma keeps through on his promise and dedicates any moment of extra time he has to help you study.
his methods actually allowed you to gain more sleep, balance work more appropriately, and retain the information easier. you genuinely felt like you were learning. you even complimented higuruma on his skills of teaching, claiming that heâd make a great professor.
this continues throughout the month until it was time for the actual day. he helped you study in the morning for a bit, not too much as he didnât want to override your brain. he got you breakfast and decided to drop you off at the testing site.
âiâll be right here, okay?â
you nod, looking at him with a solemn smile. you hesitate at first but overwhelmed by your emotions you reach over the console to give him a hug. âthank youâŚâ
he lets out a breath that sounds close to a laugh, hands coming around to circle your body. his palm rubs up and down your back in a comforting motion. âyouâve got this.â he whispers. âgood luck.â
you head into the building, gone for a total of three and a half hours. he fell asleep in the car for about an hour until he hears three rampant knocks to the passenger window.
he sees your figure standing there with other individuals following out the building. immediately, he unlocks the door, watching you hop into the car without a word.
âhow do you think you did?â he sighs, turning the ignition of the car.
you can only shrug, anxiety riddled through your body. passing was the only option for you. you opted out in taking it the first month the exam is taken so youâd have more time to study. this was your last chance or else you wouldnât be able to advance in your studies.
higuruma takes in your worrisome expression, reaching his hand out to gently squeeze your shoulder. âshould we go out for some drinks?â
you let out a small laugh, looking at him and nodding.
the two of you settle for some small bar, doing the same as before. indulging in every kind of drink but still keeping limitations. eventually, higuruma suggested to watching game of thrones and you in your slightly drunk state of mind couldnât deny.
you end up at his home because you were too scared of what your roommate might say if you brought higuruma home. you step into the threshold, eyes wide as you stare around in awe.
âwhy is it so empty?â you giggle, noticing the lack of⌠anything.
it was as if he simply bought the house and disregarded buying any furniture, dishes, and utensils. does he even live here? was your initial thought as you scavenged through his pantry, cabinets, and refrigerator only to find nothing that could saturate your hunger.
âi spend most of my time at the office.â he huffs, tugging off his suit jacket and tossing it on his sofa. âi mainly come back here to shower and change clothes.â
you hum, clutching your purse as you continue to look around, dragging your fingers along surfaces.
thatâs sort of become your lifestyle too now. youâve no doubt seen higuruma more than your own roommateâ which supported why you definitely couldnât bring him over without warning.
he steps towards you, pointing to your purse and jacket. âwould you like to shower?â
âthatâd be niceâŚâ you nod, handing him your belongings to toss with his jacket.
he grabs an extra towel he luckily had and his pajamas for you to wear since you didnât have any clothes of your own. âi plan to order some food, do you want anything in particular?â
âdealerâs choice.â you smile at him. he nods, leaving you to shower as he picks on what to eat. you shower for about half an hour as you spent half of that time snooping around his restroom for any indication of a woman being here.
it was surely none of your business but you couldnât help but find yourself intrigued by higuruma. naturally, amongst the things you wondered about was if he shared a life with someone. though it shouldâve been obvious with the way he never spends his time at home and the simple fact of you being here.
you dried yourself off, putting on his clothes and unsure of where to put the used towel, you walk into his bedroom searching for a hamper. though you find yourself eager to just look around. there wasnât much to find except for the basics.
you open his closet and find a wide range of suits all in black and white along with his pajamas that were the same color. he also had a distinct collection of watches and cologne.
you end up spraying the different fragrances into the air, adoring the mixture of them being woody, earthy, and citrusy. you take one, spraying it onto yourself.
âhaving fun?â
you turn fast on your feet, startled by his voice. he sports a teasing smile and you canât help but feel your body grow hot in embarrassment. âum⌠sorryâŚâ you laugh nervously, placing the cap back on to the cologne and settling it back in its original spot.
he shakes his head, fond of how you looked, âitâs alright. i ordered chinese.â he then hands you the remote to the tv and his phone for you to track the food. âlog in to hbo. iâll go take a quick shower.â
you nod, heading back out and taking a seat on his sofa. you log into hbo and as you waited, you ended up using his phone to scroll through tiktok. you definitely couldâve used your own but it felt more fun to use his considering the fact he didnât even have the app in the first place.
the food arrived and within ten minutes after higuruma was done with his shower, fully dressed. he was wearing the same thing as you with the exception of his clothes looking larger on your frame.
he takes a seat beside you, spreading out the arrangement of food he bought on the mini table he had. you press play on the show and hour after hour you felt happier, completely forgetting that you even had an exam today. forgetting that you spent months worrying about this very day all thanks to higuruma.
you always grew a certain amount of courage after drinking so it went without a thought for you to sigh after feeling full then lean sideways to rest your head on his shoulder.
âthank you for today.â you mumble, eyes glued to the screen.
higurumaâs sprawled back, legs spread until you lean against him.
he doesnât want to think too hard about the current proximity, simply enjoying the moment as he throws an arm around you so youâd feel more comfortable snuggling up to him.
âyou deserved it.â he squeezes you gently and you donât say anything in response, just cozying up to him some more.
from that day, you and higuruma grew closer than ever and you began to notice that you often thought about him, smiled at him more, opened up, and gained the courage to look at him longer.
with every compliment, touch, and night that you spent at his house watching game of thrones whilst eating food, there was no denying that you shared particular feelings for him.
and as the weeks past, you began to wonder what you should do with these feelings until the time came where the scores for the bar exam were out. the two of you were sat in the office per usual, and you received an email notification describing that the scores for the exam were out and where to check them.
you swallowed thickly, logging in to your admissions portal.
âdid you ever get a copy of the prosecution's discovery?â higuruma asks, mindlessly flipping through a file.
his question is followed by silence and heâll lift his head. ây/n?â
upon the continuous silence, higuruma rolls on his chair, peeking his head over to your cubicle to see you hiding your face and your shoulders shaking. concerned at the sight, he stands, and approaches you to palm your shoulder and thatâs when he begins to understand that youâre crying when a fragile sob falls past your lips.
his heart burns at the broken sound. âwhatâs wrong?â his eyes lift to your monitor and see the familiar page of the exam results. he scrolls through the letter to see youâve passed.
a laugh of relief spills from his throat, glad that your reaction isnât due to any devastating news. his hand circles around your wrist and tugs at it. âcome here.â
you slowly stand, allowing your emotions to flow upon feeling his arms encircle you tightly. youâll cry into his chest, managing to thank him through your tears. heâll shush you, rubbing at your back and cradling the back of your head.
âyou did such a good job.â he murmurs into your hair.
he continues to mumble praises into your hair and ear, holding and consoling you until your crying has calmed down. once he hears you letting out small breaths to control your breathing, he pulls back, wiping at your tear stained cheeks. âiâm so proud of you.â
your body grows hot at the compliment paired with his stare as he gently cups your cheek, thumb swiping across the skin.
you let out a shaky breath, not sure if it was from your crying or that feeling pooling between your legs. your eyes drop down to his lips then back up to his eyes. higuruma does the same and you canât help but curl your fingers around his dress shirt.
both of your breathing picks up and neither of you are sure of what to do in this moment. you can feel his free hand drop from your back then down to your waist as you each exchange flickering looks between your lips and eyes.
âhigurumaâŚâ you breathe out and he shakes his head, closing his eyes then pressing his forehead to yours.
âhiromi.â he corrects, switching his hand that cups your cheeks to palm the back of your neck. âmy name⌠say it. thatâs all i need.â
you fight the whine that bubbles in your throat, gripping tightly onto him as you open your mouth. âhiromiâŚâ
he gives in at the immediate desperation his name holds, roughly pressing you against him so your lips could meet.
the two of you have your hands moving everywhere along your bodies and a gasp rushes from your lungs as he frantically lifts you onto the desk.
items clatter everywhere as he knocks them away whilst dipping his tongue into your mouth. itâs frantic and eager the way your mouths clash together. soft groans and moans spilling into the air as papers crumble beneath your figure.
you kick off your heels as hiromi hikes your skirt around your hips, pressing your back against the surface and knocking your legs open with his knees, revealing the lace panties hidden underneath them.
he presses himself against you with a rough groan, one hand hoisting your leg at his waist, whilst the other taps your cheek then grips your face to press into them. âopen.â
your jaw widens, and hiromi hums before spitting in your mouth then leaning in to connect your lips again.
heâs hard and big.
itâs all you can think of as your tongues mesh together in perfect harmony.
weeks of built up feelings that you both tried so hard to fight all falling at the seams. you reach up to tug at his black roots as he unconsciously ruts himself against your clothed core.
you take advantage when he finally pulls away, a string of saliva following with him. his lips are swollen and covered in spit as he leans down to kiss along your jaw, then suck at the skin of your neck. you pant feverishly against his ear, gripping tighter onto him each time his bulge connects with your clit just right.
deep shaky breaths fly through his nose as rolls his hips, eyes squeezing tightly from the tightness building in his pants. it felt so fucking good to hear those soft whimpers and moans escape your lips. âfeels so good.â he groans, pressing his forehead against yours. you two practically rubbing against each other like bunnies in heat without even starting the main course.
you whimper feeling yourself clench around nothing. your hands grasp for higuruma and he hums, kissing just below your ear. âgonna cum?â
you nod, mouth slacked open as he breathes harshly against your neck. âthatâs okay, sweetheart.â he huffs, using his free hand to travel down between your bodies. fuck, he thinks the moment his fingers feel how drenched your panties are. your eyes blow wide as he pinches your clothed clit then rubs in tight circles. âyou can cum, itâs okay.â
âoh my god.â you tremble and writhe against his lengthy figure, clawing at his back and arms as you feel lost on what to hold on with your orgasm building every second.
he stops the movement of his hips, grasping your neck so youâd be staring straight at him as he picks up the pace of his fingers. âcome on.â he licks his lips, maintaining the eye contact he forces you to hold. âi wanna see you. youâre almost there.â
âhiromiââ you choke on the air, threatening to close your eyes but he shakes your head, warning you to keep them open as your body trembles from the euphoria that overcomes you.
âgood job.â he wipes at your forehead and cheeks, standing to his full height. you use his tie to lift yourself up, meeting your lips again and immediately sloshing your tongue with his. while he fumbles to unbutton your shirt you do the same then aggressively toss off his tie. his large hands grope at your breast before unclipping your bra to flick and twist at your nipple. you moan into his mouth, fingertips caressing the light muscles of his abs.
he finds it quite amusing how you flinch with each twist and tug but nonetheless you let him continue his worship of your body. he leaves your skirt cinched around your waist, squeezing your hips then slowly tugs your panties down your legs.
you canât imagine what he plans to do next until he drops both his hands behind your thighs, pressing them down as far as he can before bending down to dip his head between your legs.
his tongue flattens against your leaking hole, sucking up all slick your pussy produced. you reach straight for his hair, choking on a moan. âw-wait, i canât.â you tell him, quivering at the sudden sensation. it certainly didnât help with how big his nose is, he had the advantage to nudge it against your clit each lick and suck.
âi just want to taste you.â his voice vibrates against you, eliciting a strangled moan out of you. âis that okay, love?â he pulls back momentarily, mouth and nose coated in your juices as he presses a kiss to either side of your thighs.
what gets you is the fact he genuinely waits on your response. you nod feebly and he presses a kiss to your clit. âthank you.â is all he says before continuing his actions. your eyes immediately squeeze shut and youâre not sure if youâre trying to push his head or pull him closer. regardless, your back arches off the desk, pulling at his hair as he holds you down to prevent any more of your squirming.
a sound of absolute satisfaction rumbles in his chest and higuruma loses himself in your taste. heâs quite filthy really. you wouldâve never expected him to be the type of man that relentlessly switches between licking, spitting, and sucking the way he does. a small pool of liquid has likely formed under you by now.
âr-romi, mâ gonna cum.â he hears, feeling the way you buck up against his mouth and quite literally has to force himself off you at the announcement. he seethes in a breath, huffing and puffing, licking around his mouth.
higuruma stands straight again, unbuckling his belt, letting out a soft breath as he no longer feels constricted. your eyes fall when he drops his pants and briefs. shit. i mean, you figured he was big but not that fucking big.
you yelp as he pulls you to the edge of the table, slapping his thick cock against your drooling hole that pulses around nothing.
âcan i?â he collects your mess between his fingers, spreading your folds and gliding his shaft between them.
you nod but higuruma shakes his head then grips your neck to pull you up. âtell me, sweetheart. can i?â
âp-please.â you look up at him, all doe eyed and desperate. his hand squeezes your neck and keeps you looking at him as he uses his other hand to pull you closer, prodding in just the tip then slowly pushes himself into your warm, gushing cunt. your mouth slacks open at the stretch, gasping for air as higuruma squeezes tighter from the way you sporadically clench around his length.
heâs only halfway in and itâs taking all his energy to not cum. your pussy is torturously sucking him in, so much so a quivering grunt echoes from his chest. he pats your thigh in response. âease up, itâs just me, darling.â he tells you, and you want to laugh at how serious heâs being. ease up? not fucking possible when at least eight inches length and formidable girth was pushing itself into you.
once heâs finally filled to the hilt. your legs cross around his hips, grasping his wrist, preventing him from squeezing too tight on your throat. âyouâre always such a good girl⌠so smart and beautiful.â he praises, leaning in to peck your lips then follows with butterflies kisses along your jaw and neck then comes back up to meet your lips again. your mouths twist slower, fiery and brimmed with passion to distract you from the roll of his hips.
âso warm.â he moans against your lips, biting down and sucking on your bottom one. he finally lets go of your neck, pushing you on your back again then clasping both thighs as leverage to pummel himself deep into your pussy. he groans along to your whimpers and moans, dark eyes focused on the imprint that shows itself on your stomach with every thrust.
his light abs glisten with sweat, his brows furrowed as he zones into the way he disappears in and out of your pussy that sucks him in and coats his base white.
papers crumble beneath your fist as your moans are pulled closer together, the indication that your orgasm was fast approaching. the effect likely to be huge since you already had your first and was denied your second. hiromi grunts, fixing you into a mean semi-mating press, legs over his shoulders as his balls mercilessly slap against your skin to echo around the office space.
âgonna cum.â you quiver but higuruma smacks your clit as if thatâs supposed to help.
âhold it.â
âi-i canât.â you look at him, pouting.
his eyes snap up to meet yours and he smacks you again. âhold it.â
he somehow moves faster and harder, harshly breathing with sweat beading down his temple. after a minute, youâre completely spent, eyes watering as you shake your head. âromi, please. i canât hold it.â
âshhh.â he huffs, pressing his palm over your mouth, viciously chasing the high of his orgasm. he rolls his eyes shut, sticking two fingers into your mouth. âgo. hurry up and cum.â
itâs only a few seconds after his command that your waves come crashing down, body yearning to close upon itself due to the overstimulation but higuruma keeps you spread open, still thrusting for what feels like over a minute.
he pulls out, a hand immediately coming to pump at his length, the other angling your body just right so when he forces your mouth open, hot spurts of his cum land on your breasts, chin, and tongue.
hiromi takes a breath that sounds like heâs inhaling fresh air, squeezing at his tip to extract every ounce of his fill. he takes a good and long look at your weak body, collecting his remains that landed on you to push back into your mouth.
âso beautifulâŚâ he cups your cheek, holding you upright since you clearly canât. âyou alright? did i hurt you?â
âno⌠iâm okay.â you mumble, staring up at him as if he held up the moon and stars. âwas i?⌠okay?â
âabsolutely, love.â his brows furrow, gently caressing your skin as he looks at you. âmore than okay. perfect.â
you smile shyly at that and he has a similar question on his mind as he helps in cleaning you up. âare we okay?â
âam i okay for you?â
hiromi has begun to understand your naturally shy and timid nature but it also crossed his mind that your sense of overthinking would come into play with your age gap.
it wasnât drastic of course but he would never want to put you in a position that made you seemingly uncomfortable.
you nod with a small smile, gripping his bicep and pulling him in to press a gentle kiss to his lips. âmore than okay⌠perfect.â
Š teefushi à do not copy, translate, modify or repost any of my work on any platform, or claim it as your own.
âśď¸ď¸ď¸ď¸ Fire In My Heart (starring . higuruma & nanami)
synopsis . What happens when the man you fell for during a vacation trip abroad turns out to be your arranged fiancĂŠâs best friend? A mess of tugged heart strings, horribly convoluted emotions, and a whole lottaâ fornicationâof which none of you knew how to manage.
content . afab!reader, plot with porn, arranged marriage (nanami), one night stands (higuruma), lots of yearning, slight angst, heavy tension, nanami x higuruma, forced proximity, sloooow burn(s), fluff, 70âs/80âs song references & use, filthhh, oral sex, awkwardness, exhibitionism, strangers to lovers, eventual threesome, possessiveness, size kink, improper use of ties (bondage), dirty talk, panty sniffing & stealing, love triangle ending in a polycule, higu is a freak, prone bone, edging, pet names, virginity loss (nanami), second hand embarrassment, marathon sex, shiu cameo, praise, degrading, men kissing, dumbification, a trip to Paris (heh), drunk confessions, finger sucking, dramatics, etc.
word count . 19.8k (holy balls) || authorâs note: hi, this is a milestone special lol. apologies for errors, if any. banner art from âIkyouto Kouryuukaiâ
You always had a thing for people overworked and underfucked in several positions.
It was evident in the way you constantly attracted that genre of personâstarting with your closest friend Shoko Ieiri, whom you dragged out of the country to vacation withâand ultimately ending with a man occupying a barstool across the way from you.
With a half empty glass of liquor swishing through a rotating cupâheld only by the edge of his deft fingertipsâwide-set, weary brown eyes cast your way suddenly enough to make you flinch.
Then came a mirroring drink sliding towards you from the much softer-eyed bartender.
âI didnât order this,â You hummed easily, letting your eyes run from the dark-haired man of interest.
The bartender nodded his head back into the same direction your gaze just left, and you knew then that youâd gotten exactly what you wanted.
His attention.
Where does this take you? Right back to a game of eye-tag so doused in tension that it feels like a physical strike to your nerves.
Unknowing of how he'd recently fallen victim to your budding attractions, your mystery man sat particularly independent and detached from the room surrounding him. The only thing that seemed to pluck him out of his perpetual state of aloofness was the persistent way in which a gaze landed on him.
The gaze in question being yours, of course.
You simply couldn't help yourself, especially after heâd gone out of his way to buy you a drink.
Though, despite him being the picture perfect image of your type, you werenât about to let this kindling flame crackle and then die out too quickly. No, you much preferred when mutual interest like this played out nice ân slow.
Which is exactly why you let your eyes glide down to the silently offered drink, lift a manicured nail to the glassâs rim, and then create a mild bit of distance by pushing it away.
The glass coolly slides across the bar far enough to be received as you declining the beverage, and your mystery man of interest catches it immediately. You look up again just to make sure he was watching you and youâre left with a little jump in your heart as his tired eyes mull elsewhere.
Fear threatened to take over at the momentary loss of his attention, but your worry was quickly soothed as he looked at you again. Lifting that half-drunken glass of his, he lightly tips it your way with an understanding nod of his head, obliging to your rejection.
Now, most would assume that this is where things end between you both. He offered you a drink and you politely declined it, how can tension possibly still exist there?
Simpleâif youâre someone thatâs of true interest to him, he wonât exactly stop there.
Which is precisely why it's of no surprise when he moves to stand up.
You'd been sipping on something you'd ordered roughly thirty minutes ago before Shoko left you to network the dance floor, trying your best not to make it obvious that every smidge of your attention was trained onto a man whose name you hadn't even gotten yet. But with the way he carries himself, it was almost impossible to do so.
The moment he stood up seemed to make your centered attention worse off. He was noticeably over six feet, a trait of which you recognize from across the room as you let yourself watch how he absentmindedly lifts a hand to make an unnecessary adjustment to his tie.
The way he walked around the bar had people turning heads and bartenders exchanging glances as if to imply he hadn't moved from his previous spot for a while up until now.
An exit is located not too far off behind you, so part of you figured your singular rejection is exactly the thing that'd drive him into retiring for the night. Was this your intent or goal? No, not at all.
But you liked the thrill of clinging on to the wildly false sense of hope that dwindled about inside you. The same sense of hope that sparked your intuition and made it less of a surprise to see your mystery man round the bar and relocate himself a mere two barstools away from you.
You watched through your peripherals how he fit himself into his seatâthe length of his legs angling beneath the bar, and his charcoal-colored suit sleeking darker under the new angle of the establishment's dim lighting.
With him being closer to you, it was hard not to turn your head to get a better look at him and all that he had to offer you visually. Then again everything involving this man and your will to do things threads on a very, very thin lineâas you'll come to find out.
Five minutesânot that you're counting or anythingâroll by before anything noteworthy occurs.
Unfortunately, it's of your own actions that bring interest back into the slowly rolling interaction-, er, lack thereof...
You look back into the moderately distant clumps of people in search of Shoko, wondering just what has kept her so occupied this long. Eventually you spot her talking to a rather timid man with glasses, his gaze hardly meeting hers due to the intimidation she exuded via maintaining completely undivided attention on him.
The sight makes you smile as you set your drink down and you take this as the perfect opportunity to steal a quick glance at your fairly quiet mystery man. He'd bought you a drink, you declined it, then he came over, and since then... things have been placid. Unwelcomely so.
Has it been your turn to make another silent move all this time? Or were you both waiting for something to just happen out of the blue?
When you move your eyes to him, you feel your heart lurch in your chest.
The man is already looking at youâor, more specificallyâat your legs. His eyes traveled slowly along your thighs based on how much you had revealed, making an intentionally steady descent to your calves and around the curve of them, before eventually falling onto your heels. At that final stop, his brows twitch.
He doesn't make a face or anything like that, rendering you unable to figure out what was going through his head, but he does blink ever so slowly before making eye contact with you.
...Almost as if he knew you were watching him check you out.
You start to open your mouth to say something of the quirky variety but he beats you to it.
"You declined my drink," Rumbles off the expanse of his tongue like he'd been holding the words there for longer than he meant to. The throaty base in his voice has you inattentively crossing one leg over the other.
Which, he notices, of course.
There was music playing softly throughout the room but from the moment he opened that dangerously calm mouth of his, every other sound seemed irrelevant to your ears.
Now that a conversation had finally presented itself, you had an excuse to take in every feature he had. His eyes are naturally wide in a way that should feel hollow or empty, yet does the exact opposite somehow. There's a richness lounging around in his irises, the outskirts of them indicating nights and nights lacking sleep, and the dull way in which he drags his gaze everywhere telling you that being tired is a trait he may have been born with.
All of which have you so utterly intrigued.
"I did," finally exits you, and for a split second his face dares to show emotion. An unspoken battle of attentiveness waged between you both, evident his mild reaction to hearing you for the first time. Someone could walk by and see or feel the tension already blooming between the two of you.
The man patiently waits for you to grant him with more of a response than that, eyeing how you move your hand towards the drink he purchased for you.
Your nail lightly taps against the rim and your shoulders rise to shrug, "Buying a woman a drink from across the room without even saying hello feels a bit lazy to me, sorry."
He doesn't smile at that but the corners of his mouth involuntarily move. A faint scoff leaves his nose, "I see." He murmurs, making it clear he wasn't exactly a man of many words. "Is that your type, then? A man who approaches you directly?"
Things had only just begun and the dynamic had you reeling in your seat already. Turning to face him a little more, "Depends," Your head tilts and you send him a grin, "Is that you?"
"Could be.â He offers suavely, âI've approached you, haven't I?"
You hum, tapping at that idle glass of rejection again before returning to your own cup, "Only after I've declined your drink."
He appears unimpressed by your response, eyes leaving your face and moving to your hand, "You didn't answer my question."
"I thought it rhetorical." You bite back.
His lips twitch again, "It wasn't."
Something about the blunt end of his statement has you unable to lessen your attraction for him. You liked how he was carrying himself through this conversation so far.
Sighing, "...Obviously, you've approached me."
He notes the sass in your tone but doesnât address it in the slightest. Instead meeting you with some of his own, "Then that makes me your type, no?"
Before you can answer that, he slowly leans over with his arm extending out. You thought he was about to offer his hand to shake but it amply moves past you and plucks up the same drink you denied moments earlier. Bringing it to his lips, youâre left to watch him turn his head to the side as he sips.
And thatâwhether it be intentional or notâhas your mind set on how you want this night to go. This stranger had already been your type in terms of perpetually presented exhaustion, a drawling voice, and calculated way of speaking but his most redeemable quality was undoubtedly his nose.
Oh fuck, it was beautiful. The gorgeously arching curve had your eyes stuck in place. You didnât want to stare at it but shit, you didnât realize how big it was up until now.
In the casual manner he goes about drinking, you wonder if he even realizes the sex symbolistic quality shaping his face.
Your lashes bat and your words nearly come drooling out of you, "I don't even know your name."
God, you hope it wasnât obvious that heâd you exactly where he wanted you already.
"I don't recall you asking for it." He hums gravely.
Itâs like heâd written out a response for everything hours before even approaching you! Or, perhaps heâd exchanged this set of dialogue before. Maybe you werenât leaving the stand-outish impression youâd hoped to.
Instead of playing into his game, you take matters back into your hands, "Is that your type, then?â You mock with the slightest smirk on your face, â A woman who shows interest immediately after you've approached her?"
"No,â Fuck. Of course he had a response prepared for this as well, âI prefer a woman who can't keep her eyes off of me, and then plays coy once confronted about it."
You scoff, "I'm not playing coy."
"It's cute how you didn't deny the first part.â He finally grins, albeit small. Then he makes eye contact with you again and lifts his brows, âWas that intentional?"
"Very." You claim.
...Just who exactly was playing into who's hand now?
Thereâs a small beat of suspense that splays out between you, but he eventually breaks it before you do.
"Higuruma Hiromi." He finally tells you, splitting his keen attention to return to his drinking.
You offer your name politely in return and then add, "I like how I didn't have to ask for it."
The exchange of names has him loosened up more than the alcohol. You see it in how he becomes a bit more telling in his expressions and body language.Â
Higuruma shrugs, "You should never have to."
"Almost seemed like you wanted me to," You fire right back.
He canât help but smile for the first time, thinking he was quick with his words but noticing youâre becoming quicker. "No? I'm your type, remember?â He teases, turning his head to scan the bar, âI know how you like a direct approach."
You wanted to hate how smooth he was but unfortunately it was only worsening the existing attraction you felt for him. He was supposed to approach you and say something corny like most men doâyâknow, struggle to finalize your interest and completely squash whatever fantasized version of them you had in your head.
Yet, Higuruma was the exact opposite. He exceeded your prospects and then fucked a throbbing new reality right into your fantasies.Â
That canât be fair, can it?
"Alright,â You finally breathe out, feeling sick of how things are only getting worse for you. âSo did you buy me a drink for the banter or are you interested in something more?" You ask.
Higuruma leans forward toward the bar and moves to rest his cheek against his knuckles as he looks at you, "Are you denying me the option of both already?"
"You didn't answer my question." You mock again.
Something on him twitches but itâs not his mouth this time. He distracts you from it with a kinder expression, "I'm interested in both."
Your brows raise, "So you expected the banter then."
"Not at all," Higuruma chuckles faintly. "My expectations were nonexistent, considering I prefer to be surprised."
You lean toward him a little, your dress shifting against your body and tempting him to dip his gaze elsewhere. Then youâve the nerve to bat your lashes at him, "And how did I do? Are you surprised by my wit?" You joke.
Luckily it lands with another smile coming your way, "I'm surprised by you, period. Mainly because this is my first time seeing you here."
"I'm on a vacation trip with my friend," You hum, glancing and pointing back at Shoko.
Higurumaâs eyes follow before he nods at your spotted friend, "Ah, I see."
âAnd I'm assuming you come here often?" You ask, feeling happy to keep the casual conversation going.
He looks at you again, "More than I care to admit, yes."
"Mh." You squint skeptically at that, "Demanding job?"
If his answer turns out to be yes then it would all make sense. He looks tired, heâs still fully dressed in a suit, and heâs on his third drink of the night.Â
"Yeah, Iâm a lawyer.â Figures. âWhat gave it away?" Higuruma asks.
You gesture at his face playfully, "A little bit of everything."
He chuckles, "I get that a lot.â Then, he finally sets his glass back down and sits up a little straighter, intent on showing you that you have his undivided attention now.
As it stands, the two of you know so very little about one another. The only thing inherently obvious between you both is that youâre deathly attracted to each other.
A mutual comfort of sorts settles in between you and Higuruma, evident in how things felt moderately different now. The small talk had been nice and all, but it was overtly obvious that you both wanted much more than to pass time with words thatâd surely be forgotten come the next morning.
Which is exactly why you run your eyes over the man one last appreciative time and let your head tip to the side as you say, "It's my last night here."
The sound of that has his brows perking up in interest, "You wanna make it worth something?"
"How so?" You shoot back.
Higuruma quips lightly, "Answer my question without another question and you'll find out."
You smile and finally concede, "Yeah, I wanna make it worth somethingâŚâ
ââ
Which is roughly how you end up in the backseat of his carâhis personal driver ahead pretending not to hear the heavy pants and breathy moans leaving the two of you.
You hardly remember how you got from one place to another. One second the two of you were drunkenly locking lips at the bar, and the next you were unbuckling your seatbelt and climbing on top of him after growing too needy to wait for the ride to be over.
The two of you were on your way toâwhat you assume to beâhis place and while your concern for leaving out with a complete stranger shouldâve been present, it wasnât. Instead, the only thing concerning you was the way your dress slid up your thighs and over the curve of your ass via needy shoves from Higurumaâs big hands.
His grasp had been careful when it first met you in the barâinitially treating you all delicate-like as he cupped your jaw and pulled you in slowly for that first kiss. Then itâd traveled to the back of your neck, tugged you in to deepen the kiss, and ultimately ended up where it is now: tracing the skin of your thighs and bundling the fabric of your dress up, up, up! until your lacy panties were revealed.
One quick peek from his poor driver ahead and heâd surely be flashed by the sight of your underwear. Not that you were sober enough to care.
Higurumaâs fingertip dug into your thighs with a certain fixation for them, hauling your body impossibly closer to his own and prompting a proper grind against his clothed cock so you could feel exactly what youâd done to him thus far. It was enough to have you gasping into his mouth, your sounds swallowed up by his desperate kisses and the searing swats of his tongue that accompanied them.
Your arms were slung around his neck loosely and you couldnât help how your hips bucked against himâthe fabric of your panties clinging to your wet cunt as you ground a particularly soaked spot into his dark slacks.
"You want me now?" Higuruma scoffs into your mouth as if to scold you. Smirking before you can even answer and tonguing his next words into you, "Are you like this often? Throwing yourself on top of strangers and begging for them to touch you? Hm?"
When he pulls away, youâre given but one second to gasp as his head dips down and his nose brushes against your jawlineâthe sound of him inhaling your very scent giving you a short chill down your spine.
You manage a cheeky smile as you thread a hand into his hair and ruffle the strands in between your fingers, "If I say no, would you even believe me?"
His lips plaster the right side of your neck in hot kisses before he whispers, "Depends on how convincing you make it sound."
You push him back softly and his body rocks along with the movement, hands growing tighter at your hips. Thereâs a prominent twitch from his cock just under you at your sudden assertiveness, and the way you two meet eyes is downright filthy. Whatever visual chase youâd done earlier couldnât possibly compare to the way you both just eye-fucked one another.
Breaking the moment, you lean to his ear, "No, Higu, I don't throw myself at people like this.â Your hands shift down and you start plucking a few of his clothes offâstarting with his tie and trying to make your way down to his belt, âBut, it's like I said earlier, tonight's my last night here and I wanna make it count. Sue me."
He chuckles at that, "Careful, sweetheart.âÂ
Youâve no idea if he was warning you about your words or the fact that your touch is trekking dangerously close to his erection.Â
Your wonder is satisfied a mere second later as he adds, âI just might."
With a roll of your eyes, "Gross, does dirty talk with all lawyers sound like that?" You groan, finally pulling his belt free from the loops and tossing it to the side.
The sound of it clattering against the vacant seat has the driver up aheadâwho's name you caught as Shiu Kongâpeering into the rear view mirror.Â
"It was a joke,â Higuruma responds to you lowly, a couple of his fingers slipping under the lace of your panties at your hip.
You scoff playfully, âA corny one.â
âYou smiled.â He bites back.
Shaking your head this time, your gaze slips down to watch yourself unbutton his pants as you snort, âJokes are meant to be laughed at.â
You barely get to unzip him before he says, âAnd youâre meant to be moaning by now.âÂ
Just like that, your attention is stripped from the task at hand (literally), and youâre meeting eyes with him all over again. It was clear he didnât want to waste what little time he had with you.Â
Thus leading you to match his energy as you always do, arching a brow and leaning in a little closer, âSo make it happen.â
âNeedy girl.â
ââ
Between the luxury car and penthouse you soon end up in, you hardly remember a pure thought ringing throughout your head. The entire ride had been filled with dry humping hot enough to have the two of you drooling into one anotherâs mouth, and it was like youâd blinked before you were being tossed onto some bed.
Items of Higurumaâs suit and your dress decorated the hallway leading up to his room, and the few remaining pieces of fabric between your bare skin and his was currently being glared at by a patently prurient pair of eyes.Â
During the ride here, Higuruma had muttered something filthy into your ear about how he loooves making women like you feel good. Obviously you were too wrapped up in your own aroused brain to realize this was a warning of sorts.
The thing is, Higuruma was not your average eater. He didn't treat oral sex like foreplay or a thing to be done out of convenience, but he catered to the act as if it were an art to be studied and thoroughly executed.
You, (un)fortunately learn this the hard way.
After being not-so-patiently tossed onto a plush set of sheets, large, grabby hands met the underside of your thighs and were quick to sprawl your legs apart. Then Higuruma was settling himself in between them, uncaring of how hard he was and wanting-, no, needing only one thing from you at present.
You severely underestimated how infatuated a man could be with eating you out until you met Higuruma.
The gentleman was so utterly craving that he didn't even bother pushing your panties to the side. His lips met the fabric with ease, and you were left to watch him with slightly furrowed brows as he tongued through them to gather the first taste of you onto his rather famished tongue.
The first noise you let out was nothing short of embarrassing given that you flinched like a woman who hadn't been touched in months. Higuruma comforts you with a sound of his own thoughâa throaty groan vibrating directly in between your puffy folds in response to the teasing taste of you greeting the center of his oral muscle.
A long stripe of salivating sin swipes up all crookedly against your panty-clad cunt as he takes his sweet time figuring out how he wants to go about devouring you tonight.
When a proper dribble of your aroused slick enters his throat with one slippery descent, Higuruma's lashes begin to flutter as if heaven itself just met his taste buds in liquified fashion. Then he moans against you, a sneaky whine laced somewhere in between the desperate sound.
His hands grip the skin of your thighs and he pushes your legs out impossibly widerâlike you hadn't been spread enough already! The little gasp you let out in reaction to being stretched so widely goes through one ear and out the other with the way Higuruma lets the entirety of his mouth cup your pussy before giving it a firm suck.
You thought having your panties on would be uncomfortable for you but you quickly found that it was the exact opposite with him. He'd suckled your taste hard enough to pull the fabric up into his mouth for a second, lifting his head a little and letting space grow between your now outstretched panties and your glistening cunt.
Then a cold brush of air would slip through said space and you'd shudder just to feel your underwear wetly slap! back down against you.
It was then that your hand shot down to his hair and your hips lightly rolled up for more. You felt the corner of his lips curl up to smirk as he continued with his oral motions.
At some point you get the feel that he's just taunting and your impatience gets the better of you, causing you to use your grip on his hair to push his face a little harder against your cunt.
Higuruma's hips buck against the bed hard enough to rock the entire frame at that as he lets something filthy exit his throat. Then you feel his smirk widening out into a smile before his eyes peek up at you. His tongue glides right and finally shifts under your panties for a moment, languidly licking at the lip he's met with there.
"Higuuu," You try crying out in an honest attempt for him to quit it with the teasing.
As if encouraged by the sound, his tongue simply begins to dip at the outskirts of your pussy. A thumb comes over smoothly to peel the rest of that lacy fabric out the way, and you hear him breath out something of awe at the raw sight of you.
Your poor cunt was sooo swollen from all the sucking and wet kisses he'd given you for the past however many minutes. If the sight didn't have his cock slobbering against his boxers then perhaps he'd feel bad.
With one more adjustment of his positioning, Higuruma moves his hands to your hips and then pulls you a little closer before he dives in nose first. The tip of it peppers a couple kisses around your clit just to feel the way your neglected nub twitches at the first bit of contact, and you feel a fat glob of spit meet your entrance.
The plump pad of his thumb pucks at your weepy hole a couple times before you hear him whisper, "Such a pretty lil' thing, fuuck."
Then he angles his face and you watch the whorish display of him lathering the bumpy ridge of his nose with all your profoundly drooling slick, his mouth returning to taste you directly for the first time.
Once he gets a full taste of you, he doesn't stop until he's satisfiedâyour gorgeous string of whines 'n moans drowned out into the air and battling for volume against the sloshy shlicks! coming from your cunt as Higuruma does what he'd been dying to do from the moment he first met eyes with you that night.
The feel of you against is tongue is something he just can't get enough of, his mouth is moving haphazardly along your slit to work your drenched folds further apart.
Then comes his thiiiick fingers, which work your insides out steadily in scissors-like motions. You feel him prodding against spots you weren't even aware you had, promoting the prettiest arch in your back as your body uncontrollably squirms against the bed to escape him.
Your breath had run from you many moments ago and you struggled to capture it back into your lungs, much too wrapped up in the pleasure thrumming all throughout your body.
Higuruma's a feral eater but he's neat with it, making sure none of your delectable slick escapes the jail of his mouth, and thoroughly pursuing any slips that dare to trickle elsewhere.
It's not until after your fourth or fifth orgasmâcoaxed via his tongue aloneâthat you feel your legs turning to mush, jittery shakes noticeable as you use that grip on his hair to tug and then push at him all confusedly. You were at a point where you didn't even know what you wanted anymore. On one hand, his mouth was absolutely perfect against you, but on the other hand, you couldn't quite take it anymore.
Your whines were of pleas to convince him to give you a break yet your hips insouciantly bucked up at his face. And fuck if all of it didn't drive Higuruma mad.
Nothing could top watching you lose yourself in the pleasure he was able to give you.
Well, except for you giving him a rather rude shove just as his tongue flicks over your overstimulated clit. The exhale you release is one of near exhaustion but he only takes that as encouragement.
Grabbing at your wrist and lifting his head away from your cunt for the first time in a while, his eyes meet yours with a perfectly ticked-off glare, âAs much as I love your hands on me, gorgeous, youâre interrupting my meal.â His tone is low and raspy in a way that shows his vocal cords have been well saturated with your taste.
The moment of grace you're given directly after only comes because Higuruma is busy snatching the loose tie that's been hanging around his neck off, and then lifting over you and taking the both of your hands into his grasp. Crossing your wrists with one another, your lashes are cutely flopping whilst you peer up at him with pleasureful tears coating your waterline.
A few minutes later and you find your wrists tied up over your head 'n anchored to the bed.
Your voice comes out all shaky, "H-Havenât you had enough?â
His eyes lazy flick up to you and for the first time, he crack a crooked, but genuine smile. Cocking his head to the left, "No oneâs ever eaten you out properly, huh?â He asks as if he already knew it to be a fact.
Blinking, ââŚWhat gave you that impression?â You huff.
Higuruma scoffs and looks back down at the sopping spread of your pussy, admiring the way your slick oozes out of you in pretty glimmers. Before losing his train of thought, âThe dumb question you just asked.â He soon shoots back to you.
Your brows furrow, âHiroââ Before the rest of his name can finish its departure from your tongue, he's diving back in and you're left moaning all over again, âF-Fuuck!â
The man was no longer eating you out as if starved, no. He was now feasting upon your sloppy folds with a prideful passion of greed guiding ever nasty swipe of his tongue.
It wasn't long before his fingers joined back into the fun, stuffing you nice 'n full to prepare you for the next way in which greed would express itself into you.
Through the entire time he spent satisfying his oral fixation for you, his poor, fat, neglected cock was left to sob out something creamy down below. His balls ached from the lack of stimulation but fuuuck if he wasn't gonna prioritize his cravings over what his body claimed it needed.
When he finally lets his head fly backâafter watching you fall apart on his mouth for the nth time of the nightâyou see as he pants, as if he was the one who'd just been slut out on a mere finger and tongue combo.
Casually muttering, âI think sheâs ready for me now," as he shifts back to sit on his heels and works the weight of his cock out from the damped fabric it's been confined in all this time.
Your head shakes slightly but your cunt is busy twitching with readinessâclearly matching his greed with some of her own. âI donât think I canâŚ" You tell him while he comes up to untie you. Never quite finishing your sentence, you end it off with a sheepish, "Hiromi...â to gain his attention on you.
As if it had ever left to begin with...
He arches a thick brow your way, âYou donât think you can, what?" Another cocky smile is bearing across his lips, "You talked such a big game earlier. Surely a little foreplay hasnât worn you out already.â
Foreplay?? He just ate you out for two hours!!
At that, you roll your eyes and playfully scoff, âOh, fuck you.â
He hums, âYouâre about to,â and then slots a wet hand to your hip, tapping slightly with his instructions of, "Flip over.â
You do exactly that with utmost swiftness. No matter how many pouts you sent him or how bratty your words were, your body couldn't deny the incessant desire for him. That feeling has been buzzing through you all night and now was not the time to try 'n ignore it.
âOh fuck,â Higuruma lightly smacks your ass as you roll over, helping you to get in position as he throws a leg over you and sandwiches your limbs together. Grinning at how ruined you are for him already, âS'this your type too? Having a stranger's big cock stretch you open jus' right after a long day? Hm?"
You're drooling from every hole alreadyâreduced to nothing more than a wet, needy mess of a woman below the man you met only a few hours ago.
If he'd mentioned anything personal to you between the bar and now, you wouldn't be able to remember it by tomorrow. But the way he fucks? Oh, you'd be remembering that for weeks to come.
And how could you not? There's nothing more memorable than the swollen, plump rounds of his cockhead smearing in between your puffed pussylipsâsweetly streeetching you open to take the rest of his length.
"Yesss, Higu'." Your voice is immediately moaned into a pillow as the soft material smushes against your face, back arching some. "This is my type t-too.. hahh, I love it."
You're obviously just babbling whatever you can in agreement with him, but he couldn't much care.
With a firm thrust of his hips, his cock slides in deep and you're biting down at the pillow already due to his raunchy tip slathering in a messy greeting. âGod, youâre nasty.â He huffs out a breathless little chuckle, already losing his own mind from the warmth that's currently swallowing him, âI think I like that about you.â
âMnngh-, y-you just like how good I feel.â You say back to him, feeling one hand hold your hip to lift it up a few centimeters as the other presses into the slope of your spine.
The arch he forces you into is just filthy and you're almost annoyed by how snuggly his cock fits because of it. Your salivating walls twitch and throb out to his shape, folds kissing his wide base with him just nesting in place for a moment.
He snorts, âNo, I like thisâhow bratty you pretend to be.â Then his hand kindly flies up to the back of your head so he can shove your face down, and his hips are reeling back.
Shit.
Fingers slot through your hair just to grip at you nicely and his cock pivots left inside you, âAll that talk just to get a good fucking as if a simple please wouldnât have brought you the same results.â
âHiro,â You moan breathlessly, fingers dug into the sheets for support and toes curling up as mindless pleasure washing over you in hefty waves.
âOhhh, I know, I knowww, sweet girl.â He coos with a condescension that has you spilling glossy gushes around the thick of his shaft, each spill decorating his thumping veins. âDonât cry like that, Iâm just givinâ you what you wanted. You wanted me to fuck you like this, didnât you?â
The weight of Higuruma comes over you next, smothering you into the mattress and having your entire body jump involuntarily. You don't know whether or not you cum or cry because of it, but either way your reaction is adding a certain wetness to the situation.
Then you're just nodding in an all too fucked-out manner, âM-Mhmmm.â
âMhmmm, yeahhh, you did.â He mocks, hips rocking down into you tenderly so he can stir up your insides jus' right, âNow tell me it feels goodâtell me it feels good to get what you wanted, câmonnn.â
Higuruma's words of encouragement are enough to make your mind go blank, âI-It feels sâgood Hiro,â His thrust gets unintentionally sharper and you're still going, âNgh! You feel sâgood.â
âSo do you,â His voice gets louder with base as the heat of his mouth slanders against the crown of your ear, âIâm tempted not to let you go.â
Him being addicted to you was the one thing both of you wanted to avoid, but the heat of the moment got the better of you and he feels how your pussy hugs him in reaction.
Licking at your skin, "Youâd like that, wouldnât you?â He whispers.
âUhuhhh.â You nod again.
âUse your words, hun. I canât understand you when you mumble.â Fuck, you don't think you'll be lasting the number of rounds he had planned for you if he continues to speak like that. âCâmon, talk to me all pretty like you have been all night.â
âYes, Hiromi.â You eventually mewl, âI-Iâd love it if you-, ah! didnât let me go.â
âFuck, youâre so good for me.â He praises huskily, dick achingly hard within the sleek confines of your cunt, "Bet you want me to keep you around after this, just so you can get the cock you deserve whenever you want it, huh?"
Your body tries to inch away from the strong roll of his hips and how soppily his cockhead is lapping against your sweet spot, "Ohmygod," He easily follows your chaste movements by bucking into you. "M'gonna cum Hiromi."
His bottom lip pokes out to pout, "Aww, again? A little bit of talking really gets you there like this?" He asks as if he's not right there with you, his fat balls taut with the need to pump something sinful into you.
You're a complete mess and your mind is going all blank on you, "M-Mhm."
"M-Mhmmm," He mocks again, "My poor baby, when's the last time you were fucked properly?"
Cunt fluttering around him, "I-I don't-"
"Shhh, not you." A bulky arm comes wrapping around your frantically twitching frame and two fingers suddenly slide right into your gaping mouth. Voice still hot against your ear, his other arm snakes down so he can tap at your clit, "M'talking to my pretty girl down here."
And that is all it takes for you to choke on his fingers as you leave a splashing mess on him, eyes rolling back, back, back! until only the whites are showing.
Higuruma fucks you good. Talking right through your every orgasm as if he had no idea how to shut that filthy mouth of his, cooing and mocking you all through each mess.
You'd hadn't been fucked that good in so long, you're pretty sure you were the first one to tap out not too long after leaving a squirting slob of cum on him.
And Higuruma, ever the cunt-connoisseur, made sure to end the night by "lightly" licking you clean.
During that act is when you actually fall asleep and he's pretty sure you're the kinda woman he'll be thinking about for a while after this.
You may not have kept up with him fullyâat least not to his standards of doing soâbut he does appreciate how you allowed him the opportunity to slut you out exactly as he'd hoped to!
ââ
The morning after was nothing short of a blur.Â
You departed without giving Higuruma much of a goodbye, but youâre hoping the little note you left with your phone number attached to it will be enough. Part of you felt bad knowing that heâd be waking up to a half empty bedâconsidering thatâs definitely not what he fell asleep inâbut the other part of you felt as though Higuruma may appreciate the lack of you in his arms, per not wanting to get too attached.
And bearing in mind the way things play out for you going forward, youâre sure the latter of your preferences are closer to validation.
Shoko had a field day upon hearing you recount your details of the night as you two exchanged stories during the flight, and it wasnât long before you found yourself right back home.
The first day back to reality was a painful reminder of why youâd left in the first place.Â
Walking into the lobby of your familyâs company building for the first time in weeks was dreadful, to say the least. Employees greet you all politely as you pass, but their heads only dip in automatic acknowledgement of the chairmanâs daughterâaka, you. Itâs a fake routine youâve grown both accustomed to and very tired of.Â
Nothing real ever comes from these small interactions and the majority of the people in this building view you as some sort of pawn in your parentâs game. Which, unfortunately, is exactly what you come to find out you are.
You made way towards the elevator and mashed the button for the thirtieth floor, shutting your eyes for a moment to collect yourself and get your thoughts back into that working mindset. Your phone buzzed against your palm with a message from your fatherâs assistant, urging you to make your way to his office a little faster.
A sigh escapes you and with each floor you pass, you feel the weight of impending doom press into your shoulders. You'd hardly been home for more than twenty-four hours and you already wished you were back on vacation.
When the elevator doors finally open to your designated floor, the hallway outside your father's office is quietly expecting you. His assistant shoots up from her desk immediately.
"Miss," She greets ever so politely, a tremor of nerves caught in her voice as she does so. "He asked that you come in right away."
You wave a hand her way and let an unimpressed smile carve itself into your face, "I got your text, thanks."
You watch as she hurries over to the door and knocks once before peaking in to announce your arrival to the room. After which, you step right inside and watch your father's assistant give you nervous eyes just before the door shuts behind you.
As the soft click serves as the only sound in the room, you turn your attention elsewhere and immediately realize something is off.
Your father's seated behind his desk with his hands neatly folded together, a composed expression you only see when he's conducting board meetings plastered across his face.
In your head, you wondered if that was any way to greet one's child after not seeing them for a few weeks, but you suppose your father has never really viewed you as such. You've always been less of a daughter to him and more of a strategic asset liable to be moved at any point in time, for the betterment of the company.
While harsh, youâand everyone else around youâknew it to be true.
Before you or your father could greet one another outside of distasteful looks, the sight of some blonde man sitting in front of his desk makes your brows twinge up some more. You thought it weird that you were called here in such a hurry just for someone else to be there as well.
Your father notices where your eyes have gone and just as you open your mouth to say something, he's cutting you off with a gesture towards the empty chair beside the blonde stranger, "Sit down."
Whatever this was, you hated it already.
Not that your feelings stop you from doing as you're told, considering it was much too early to start an argument. The moment you seat yourself, you turn your head to get a better look at the man next to you.
Safe to say, you've never seen him before.
He seems tall, he's got these broad shoulders that are concealed only by the tailoring of his tan suit, and his facial features are sharper than ever. A fawning pair of brown eyes glance your way and gently meet yours, matching the concern and confusion etched into you.
It was clear that you weren't the only one curious about this sudden meeting.
"I've called you in here because there's an important matter we need to discuss regarding the future of the company," Your father says, snatching both the blonde man's attention and your own all in one go.
His statement is enough to have you feeling nervous but you do your best to steel your emotions until the real bullshit comes flying out of his mouth like you know it will soon.
Continuing on in that tiresome drawl, he looks directly at you, "As you know, our company has been in negotiations for several months with another firm concerning a potential merger."
You can't do much except nod your head slowly, "Right.."
Your father gestures to the man beside you, "This is Nanami Kento."
On queue, Nanami looks your way again and then moves his hand out for you to shake, "It's a pleasure to meet you."
Unfortunately for him and the respectfully offered handshake, you decline it rather rudely. Looking down at his open hand and then turning back to your father with a cocked brow. "And?" You ask, ready to get to the point of this meeting.
Nanami's hand remains outstretched for an awkward moment before he retracts it, pursing his lips together at the feel of embarrassment washing over him. Had he made such a bad impression on you already?
"The Nanami Group has agreed to the merger," Your father finally gets out, leading to your brows lifting in surprise.
Well, now you felt bad for declining the handshake...
"Oh." Glancing at Nanami again, you have a softer expression on your face as you go to apologize. "That's wonderful, I'mâ"
You're cut off by the slow addition of, "On one condition." soothing into the air.
Your head whips back into your father's direction and whatever expression of excitement you had, drops with utmost quickness. "What condition?" You ask with a pointed look.
His eyes shoot down to his desk as if to avoid yours. "You're to marry him," He responds shortly, gesturing to Nanami as he speaks.
Aaaand there it was! The bandaid had finally been ripped off.
For a moment, you swear you heard the old man wrong. Surely he didn't just say you have to marry the man you just met less than five minutes ago?
"...Pardon?" You breathe out.
Your father maintains that eerie calmness of his, "The union between our families will solidify the partnership between our companies."
Some of his words mull through one ear and out the other because you're too busy trying to figure out whether or not this was really happening to you.Â
The man who raised you was actively informing you that he'd basically sold you off for the amelioration of the family company.
You only manage to tune back into what heâs saying when he finds the gall to hum, "The merger between our families will then be finalized after the marriage produces an heir."
Across the desk, Nanami shifts slightly in his chair as he chokesâa clear sign that the conversation had become uncomfortable for someone other than just you.
Meanwhile, you manage yet another scoff, "You're joking."
"Not at all," Your father chirps, "The boards of both companies felt it would ensure a lasting partnership between our two families."
"Oh okay, so not only am I being married off," You begin slowly, "But I'm also expected to start producing corporate successors? I'm to be married and bred, all in one go."
You watch the way he rolls his eyes and gestures a hand out to wave, diminishing both your words and your feelings, "You make it sound so harsh. This agreement merely ensures stability between both families.â He claims before adding, âA-And you've already agreed to it.â
The stammer in his voice told you more than enough. You knew right then that whatever agreement he was referring to was probably born out of some form of manipulation or miscommunication.
Blinking, "I beg your finest pardon?"
A document is slid your way just as your question finishes off.
"Years ago,â Your father nods, âDuring the board's succession program. You remember.â
No the fuck you donât.
Well, you do. But you definitely donât recall signing your consent to this arrangement.
You know what heâs talking about took place when youâd first joined the family business but, at the time, heâd told you that the documents you were signing was "standard procedure for future executives in family companies"
Now you're seeing that this wasn't the case at all.
Silly you for thinking it was all just meaningless paperwork.
As you snatch up the document, you notice your signature sitting clear as day across the bottom. Shaking your head, "Nowhere on this does it say that I'm supposed to beâ"
"Clause seventeen." Your father directs.
Your eyes narrow as they flock there immediately.
In the event that the chairman determines a strategic marital alliance beneficial to the company, the undersigned consents to participate in such union for the purpose of securing corporate stability and lineage...
Your gaze stops for a moment, jaw agape and heart clenching up in your chest. Especially as you continue reading to see that it only gets worse.
...The parties involved acknowledge the expectation of producing a direct heir to reinforce the partnership between two family entities.
"Oh you've got to be fucking kidding me." You scoff.
"Language." Your bastard of a father has the nerve to scold, leaning back in his chair with a casual creak. Shrugging, "You signed it willingly."
That sentence alone is enough to start an argument between the two of you that stretches on for at least thirty minutes. All of which Nanami sits there listening rather uncomfortably due to feeling like heâs overhearing things he really shouldnât be.
You bring up past family issues and the current relationship between your mother and fatherâscolding the old man for doing the same thing to you as was done to him years ago. Arranged marriages shouldnât be some type of tradition in your family but with the way things are looking now, that seems to be what was becoming of it.
Despite his discomfort, Nanami sits there in awe of you. When his parents informed him that heâd be marrying a woman heâd never met, he didnât even think to argue with them the way you are with your father now.
And he hadnât even seen you yet!
Part of him supposes thatâs because he was raised differently than youâhaving been told from a young age that his role in his family matters little to nothing if the future of their company isnât his top priority. Whatever childhood dreams he had were crushed a long time ago and replaced with only the thought of doing whatâs best for the company, even if that now meant marrying a woman he knew nothing about.
But seeing you nowâŚ
Nanami knew then that knowing nothing about you wouldn't matter much longer. The mix of passion and honest frustration you so openly expressed towards your father directly in front of him was nothing short of endearing to the blonde witness.
And by the time you flung that signed document back into your fatherâs face and went storming out the room, Nanami was certain heâd fall for you even if you swore never to look his way.
Which is why he shoots up to his feet just as the door slams behind you, ignoring the way your father murmurs something to him about not bothering to chase after you, and giving the man a curt nod before doing exactly that.
As Nanami opens the door, he spots you making way for the elevator and does his best to keep up with you without looking like he intended to follow you (even though he did).
Like a lost puppy of sorts, he trails behind you and enters the elevator alone with you just before the doors begin to shut.
His eyes fall to the way youâre mashing at the button to another floorâtrying not to chuckle at the way you accidentally press seven other buttons to various floors in the process. His posture stiffens up as you side eye him sharp enough for him to feel it, and he worries that following you in here may not have been in his best interest.
âŚEven though he wanted to speak to you after witnessing everything.
Lifting a fist to his lips, Nanami clears his throat. The elevator begins its slow, creaky descent and he keeps his gaze fixated straight ahead as he breaks the silence, âFor what itâs worth, Iâm sorry.â
âDonât pity me,â You breathe out without thinking, immediately regretting the harshness of your voice.Â
His shoulders tense up at how immediate your response was, heart skipping a beat now that your aggravations were being directed towards him. Even his face was getting warm like youâd complimented him or something.
A quiet moment passes before you slowly release a sigh, âWhile itâs appreciated, Iâm afraid your sorry is worth nothing to me.â
Nanami nods, âUnderstood.â His single word of comprehension soothes your nerves over juuuust a tad. Then, he glances over to youâappreciating the side of your face, âI hope you know I had as much control in this as you did.â
You didnât have any control in thisâobviouslyâso his words provided a light sense of comfort to you. Meeting his gaze, you lift a brow at him, âYour parents see you as a means for breeding just as mine do, Iâm assuming?â
His mouth opens but you watch the way they twitch as your bluntness throws him off. Clearing his throat again, his eyes darted off, âThatâs uh⌠Thatâs one way to put it.â
âWell,â You huff, turning to face forward, âAt least Iâm not alone in that regard.â
Nanami doesnât say it, but he hopes to find more regards to comfort you in as time passes. While the marriage itself isnât what he wanted in the slightest, he canât find it in himself to complain after his eyes have taken you in.
Heâs never believed in love at first sight and he knew for sure this wasnât that but⌠there was something about you that had him thinking all of this would be worth it in the end, somehow.
ââ
The next few days, weeks, and soon months of preparation feel like youâve entered an unimaginable level of Hell.
You were trying your best not to be a drama queen, but you canât exactly help yourself when the announcement of your engagement was merely the tip of the iceberg.
Due to your outburst in your fatherâs office that day, he thought it best to have you and Nanami constrained into the same home for some time before you two were to be wed.Â
The apartment you resided in beforehand had been purchased and provided under the family company, but now that you were forcefully engaged and clearly not fond of itâit was in both companyâs best interest to have you and Nanami grow used to each other in one way or another. So, in other words, shoving the two of you into some house together with curfews and security placed all around simply made sense.
Living with Nanami wasnât the worst thing in the world since heâs nothing short of a gentleman, but you still hated every waking hour of it.
Your father may have been able to drive you into a relationship and a home with some stranger but he couldnât force you to interact with the man so, you didnât!
There was one bedroom designated for the two of you but Nanami insisted that you sleep there and he take the guest bedroom down the hall so that youâd be somewhat comfortable. You appreciated that much from him but it didnât stop you from avoiding him at all costs.
Even if he was the first face you were greeted with every morning, even if you two had silent dinners together, even if you were forced to head to work together, and even if you quite literally could not escape the damn manâyou refused to open up to him.
He could put a ring on your finger and a baby inside you directly after, and yet you remained firm with your decision to never pretend to be happy in your impending marriage.
Nanami of course is fine with whatever you decide to do. He would accept your comfort over fake happiness any day.Â
So if he had to stomach scolding from both his parents and yours about how the two of you are the most awkward couple ever to be seenâheâd do it a thousand times over knowing that youâre content with the way things are.
The concept of distant lovers proved itself in the most outward way through you and Nanami. While labeling the two of you as âloversâ without the addition of its artificial origins is quite the stretch, neither of you could pretend that nothing existed between you.
Especially on Nanamiâs end.
He understood that your distaste toward him came from the lack of control you had in your being together, but no matter how he looked at it, he couldnât bring himself to care at the same level you did. Not when he was so utterly enamoured by all that you are.
You distracted him from the realities of this compulsory relationship. He knew he was attracted to you from the day you walked in that office, hardly spared him a glance, and proceeded to curse your father out right in front of him.
Then there was how snappy youâd been after, how tense you looked every time you and him occupied the same room, and how distant you keep yourself nowadays.
Nanami knows he should be on the same page as youâprotesting against this union through refusing to get close to you and keeping things strictly cordial.
But⌠he canât.
Thereâs a stubborn thump of longing in his heart thatâs highlighted for him every time you enter a room, his eyes find you in every crowd, and he feels himself wanting nothing more than to gently wipe the stress right off that pretty face of yours.
He swears he could do it tooâif youâd let him.
Unfortunately, youâre far more stubborn than he is when it comes to matters of the heart. In the few personal conversations the two of you have just barely managed to have, he can tell your mind is constantly elsewhere. Constantly distant.
You could be sitting a few feet away from him, looking him directly in the eyes, and actively engaging in conversation with him but he can still see that something-, or someone else is on your mind.
And of course he doesnât know it but thatâs another issue for you.
How can you be expected to get close with Nanami on your own accord when Higuruma is still lingering around in your mind?
Perhaps it was because being with him was the last time you got to do something for yourself. Or maybe it was the simple fact that the night with Higuruma still replays in your head while youâre at your most vulnerable. Or, even worse, possibly itâs the way that man hasnât reached out to you once and how much that bothers you.
How fair is it that youâre still thinking about him all this time later as your life is falling apart and yet heâs probably not doing the same at all, considering the way he refuses to contact you?
Was that single night with him really not enough to have him wanting more? Had you meant so little to him because you were a mere stranger? Would you ever see him againâand if you did, would he even rejoice in the reconnection?
At some point, you find that the more you let thoughts of Higuruma plague you, the further you distance yourself from your fiancĂŠ. While that was your preferred outcome, you felt that it wasnât fair to Nanami to have someone else on your mind like this.
It was one thing to avoid him out of parental rebellion but it was another thing entirely to do so because of another man whoâd clearly forgotten about you some time ago.
ââ
Hence why you allow yourself one day to try getting to know Nanami about seven months into your engagement to him.
Yes, seven months in. Thatâs seven months of dry conversation, seven months of stubborn avoidance, seven months of trying to prove to your parents that youâd never be happy in this, and seven months of Nanami suffering from feeling his heart long for you more and more despite the lack of reciprocation.
While the change is certainly unexpected on his end, he doesnât shoot down the opportunity to get somewhere personal with you for once.
You woke up that day telling yourself that if he started a conversation with you, you wouldnât be as dismissive as you usually are with him. When you ran into him in the hallway first thing that morning, you greeted him with a smile that made his heart skip several beats.
Not only was it unfair for you to have neglected him for so longâfor reasons outside of your parents and the overall dynamic of your relationshipâbut it was also unfair how much of an effect you seemed to have on the man.Â
His cheeks hued a soft shade of pink upon being greeted so kindly and the awkward little murmur of good morning wishes that came your way in response had you feeling rather good about your new little plan.
Perhaps giving Nanami a chance wouldnât be so bad after all. Maybe you wouldnât have to fake being happy for the entirety of your being with him. Though, you know deep down thatâs exactly what your parents wanted from the get go.
At least itâll be on your own terms though, right?
The entire day of giving Nanami a chance goes by at a normal pace. You share a breakfast with him instead of skipping out on it and starving yourself for half the day as you normally do, the two of you not only head to work together but youâre also spotted acting like an actual couple for once, and the day later concludes on quite the sweet note.
Which brings you to the end of said day where youâre just pushing away from the dinner table and helping Nanami to collect the dishes and carry them off to the kitchen. He gentlemanly takes your plate before you could even turn with it and leads the way, to which you slowly follow after.
This is where the real rare part came in. Before today, youâd always bid him goodnight after sitting in uncomfortable silence and forking at food you hardly had a taste for. But nowânow that youâd spent the day trying something differentâyou figured you shouldnât let things end as they normally do.
Nanami has moved to wash the dishes by the time you enter the kitchen, and you come to lean against the counter to watch him. He caught on to your change in attitude earlier that day, so it doesn't surprise him too much to see you changing other things in your routine like this.
âThank you for today,â He starts out easily, sponge in hand and skin soaked up to his wrists with soapy water.
Your brows twinge at that almost instantly, âYou donât have to thank me for that, Kento.â
Ah, the sound of his name on your tongue has never been sweeter.Â
Nanamiâs hands are still against the submerged dishes, and you catch the way his shoulders tighten ever so slightly before relaxing again. Then he shakes himself out of his surprise, âI do though,â He says a moment after, his voice a tinge quieter. âIt meant more than you think.â
His delicately spoken words have you seeing things from a new perspective for once. Youâd spent all this time so wrapped up in being trapped in a relationship that you nearly forgot he was just as trapped as you were. Itâs not like he signed up for this, the only difference between you and him was the fact that his parents spent their whole time raising him into being exactly what he was now: a product of marriage for the company.
Meanwhile you had been blindsided by your parents for years.
When you take everything into consideration, you realize both you and Nanami are living on two different sides of the same coin. During the past few months you spent resenting him as much as you did your situation, youâd been incredibly lonely and now you wonder if heâd felt that way his entire life.
To be raised the way he was is nothing short of cruel, but at least with this engagement he wouldnât have to live in that cruelness all aloneâso long as you take the blame off his shoulders and replace it with a feeling of understanding. To be trapped in a relationship is one thing, but to be trapped in a relationship with Nanami Kento doesnât have to be as horrid as youâve spent months convincing yourself it would be.
The kitchen you both occupy is calm now that his thanks has settled into the air. Sounds of dishes clinking softly, the warm water splashing against his skin, and the distant hum of your shared home gave you a domestic feel for a mere moment
Your eyes find Nanami, quietly admiring his acute focus on getting those plates and utensils clean. You knew this from the day you met him but, he was never a bad looking man. Hell, he had a list of redeemable qualities.
Months youâve spent living alongside him, existing in the same space, eating across from him, and yet this feels like the first time youâve allowed your eyes the liberty of lingering with no resistance. Between your appreciative glances, something of guilt swells up inside youâas if you werenât supposed to be looking at him like this after spending so long ignoring him.
But at the same time, he is your husband-to-be.
You push yourself away from the counter and then round it, still taking all of his build in for the first time. His back is the first thing that yanks at your attention as you pace somewhere behind him.
Gaze tracing the line of his back, you notice how structured and broad it isâa feature you noted upon first sight of him in your fatherâs office before. The tension of the day rests clearly in his posture and the way he holds himself upright. His dress shirt pulls across his shoulders whilst his hands busy against those dishes and you nearly walk into the opposing counter-side when the fabric stretches just enough to tease at something bulky resting beneath.
You swallow thickly and turn your head away sharply to distract yourself.
Because youâre standing behind him, you miss how he grins to himselfâhaving felt your eyes on him, but not daring to comment on it. Heâd acknowledged the same thing you did: the two of you are engaged and fully allowed to gawk at one another.
Nanami had indulged in it more times than heâd probably ever admit to you, unable to focus on anything else whenever youâre around.
With the way youâd turned your head away to stop yourself from drooling over a man you willingly ignored for far too long, you notice a small radio tucked neatly into a corner. Curiosity quickly gets the better of you and you snatch the item right up into your hands.
Toying with the buttons rather cluelessly, you wonder why Nanamiâs got a radio sitting in the kitchen when youâve never heard the man play music a day in your life.
Even though youâve been avoiding him like the plague for as long as youâve known himâŚ
Youâre not sure what exactly you press but something soft begins to leave the radio and you're quick to locate what appears to be the volume knob, turning it and letting the sound of Be Like a Woman replace those domesticated noises that were starting to get to you moments ago.Â
Itâs a little staticky at first, just barely crackling the song to life with grainy distortion before the device remembers its own function and plays out smoothly.
The moment your ears pick it up, you smile to yourself and fall into a slow sway.
Behind you, the sound of running water comes to a steady stop. You donât turn right away as the music settles fully, wrapping around you and your idle sways to it.
As if delighted by the tune, Nanamiâs eyes locate you from over his shoulder with passive quickness.
It takes you a moment or two before you glance back at him, spotting an outstretched hand, and then biting back a smile at the implication. âYou canât be serious.â You murmur, even though youâd already set the tone for dancing.
âHumor me,â Nanami hums, a kind smile working wonders at turning your heart to mush. âOne dance wonât kill you, will it?â
You continue to gape at his hand as if itâd go away without you saying something. Sighing, youâre careful with the way you bring your eyes up to meet his.
This is what you wanted, isnât it? To try?
âI suppose not.â You respond while moving to take his hand and let him gently bring you closer.Â
His palm is moist from the water heâd hastily dried off and it tightly locks against your own. Then as he guides you toward himself, his other hand lifts before stopping just short of your waist. Thereâs a question and request for consent in his eyesâto which you grant by looking down at his not-yet-connecting hand, and then back up at his face to nod.
Nanamiâs touch eases into your side and both of your bodies sway right into one another. Your free hand finds his shoulder to rest on, and just like that the two of you are dancing.
Itâs naturally a mix of slow ân awkward at first but what makes it an act to relish in is the way you both feel the romance bundling about.
The subtle clumsiness of it all is enough to make you break eye contact first, looking off to the side as you sway together. That is, before Nanami tilts his head toward the direction youâve focused your attention into and whispers, âYouâre good at this.â
God, his voice was much too endearing for you to ignoreâespecially all close to you like this. You shake your head and let your eyes roll playfully, âWeâre just swaying back and forth, it doesnât take much skill.â
Nanami chuckles at that and you feel your heart thumping a little louder. "Then I suppose I shouldn't be too proud of myself," He murmurs.
You release a soft huff, the sound light and easygoingâmuch unlike how the two of you have been for months.
Your bodies continued in their dance with one another, everything steady and close as the music continued to envelop you.
Soon your hand shifts slightly on his shoulder, fingers brushing the fabric of his shirt and feeling how firm he is beneath it.
Nanami's reaction is near-immediate.
He inhales sharply to show that the touch had clearly caught him off guard, composure thinning by the second. Then his jaw tightens a bit and you see a faint flush creeping in along the highest points of his cheekbones.
Cute.
Unable to control your grin, "Kento..?" You murmur.
Instead of answering right away as he usually does, Nanami seems to be lost in thought before he responds. His hand tightens at your waist just a faction and his mouth is slow to open and close with words struggling to leave him.
"I've uh..." He starts, only to stop shortly after.
You're patient with him and give no sense of hurry with how you're staring up at him.
Clearing his throat, "I've wanted to do this for a while." Nanami admits quietly, eyes dropping.
Your brows raise, "What, dance with me?"
His gaze flickers and something in between shy and utterly embarrassed flashes over him. The way he shakes his head all slowly makes you want get the sudden desire to bite him or something.
"...No," The honesty in his singly spoken word makes your chest clench.
Swallowing thickly, "Then what?" You ask.
Your dancing gets impossibly slower and you're left to realize just how close you two are. Breaths are shared, gazes are locked onto everything but one another's, and it's almost like the music had stopped playing just to highlight the mirroring beats of your hearts.
Nanami's head tips to the side and he leans in, stopping just short of pressing his lips to yours, and leaving your breath to hitch.
Were you really gonna let him kiss you? That easily?
His lips graze yours and you're unconsciously gripping onto both his hand and his shoulder with something anxious building inside you. You didn't realize how badly you wanted this until it wasâquite literallyâdangling in front of your face.
âMay I?â He utters, oh-so-sure your rejection will be what follows.
To his surprise, youâre already nodding.
And then it happens. Then his lips are meeting yours and you're feeling the way he flinches as if he hadn't initiated the whole thing.
Something vibrates inside his mouth but you're unsure whether or not it's a hum or some sort of whine. Nanami kisses you in a tentative way, testing something delicate with every soft slip of his mouth to yours.
Your hands leave each other and he carefully wraps the both of his arms around you as your arms do the same with his neck.
For a first kiss with the man you've been engaged to for seven monthsâit's not exactly what you expected.
Nanami is surprisingly shy with it, almost as if he doesn't know what the hell he's doing. Because of this, you're guiding him through most. of it and he's blindly following your lead.
Even so, the kiss is quite sweet, and when you pull away, your eyes widen out at how much he's blushing.
You didn't know a man's face could go so red from a single kiss. Especially a kiss without tongue. You hardly did anything!
When Nanami's eyes open, they meet with yours briefly in hopes you won't comment on how embarrassed he seems to be.
Luckily for him, you find the hues of pinks and reds on his face endearing enough to move your hands up to his face and cup his cheeks into your palms. He's warm against your skin and you hear his breath stutter when you pull him in for another kiss.
It's clear that you never really know how badly you wanted or needed something until you have it.
This time around, the kiss is needy. Your lips part over one another and he lets you slip your tongue into his mouth, groaning at the connection, and pressing forward with you until your lower back meets the nearby counter.
Nanami keeps kissing you like he doesn't know how to, but you find yourself enjoying the liberty of leading him through it.
That is, until he grunts into your mouth and you feel something solid twitching against your front. You try to ignore it at first, telling yourself there's no way he popped a boner from kissing you, but that grows increasingly difficult as his hulking frame melts into you entirely.
You nibble on his lower lip a little, whispering, "Kento.." as if ready to scold him.
Nanami panics. Fuck, why do you choose now of all times to call out his name? He's already trying his best not to cu-
"Are you hard?" You ask.
Fuck. Why would you ask him that? Can you feel it? Has he accidentally rubbed up against you?
"U-Uhm-," Nanami chokes on his own breath. "I-, what?"
You snort.
There's no way you find this funny, right?
"I asked if you were hard," You repeat nonchalantly, caressing his face, "Did kissing me like that turn you on?"
"Well.. uh," He gapes at you like one big himbo, "I-Is it that obvious...?"
Now you're giggling, "I mean, I can feel it."
"Sorry," He looks down to avoid getting even more turned on from the way you're staring at him. "I told you I've been wanting to do this for a while and-, well... I didn't mean to get so excited from it, sorry."
"You don't have to apologize for it, Ken." You comfort sweetly.
The nickname makes his situation worse by a long shot, sticky dribbles of precum promptly oozing out of his blushing tip. God, did you have any idea what you were doing to him?
With the way you remove an arm from around his neck and begin to trail your hand down his body, it's clear that you most certainly did. "I just didn't expect you to be so reactive like that," Your tone is different now.
Something sultry is in your voice and it's making poor Nanami nervous beyond belief.
He'd never gone this far with a woman.
Shrugging, "Well, most virgins are rather sensitive to touch, I'm sure." Nanami says timidly.
Your hands freeze against him and you blink. "You're a virgin?"
He nods.
The way he kept avoiding eye contact with you, the sound he let out when you initially kissed him, and the way he flinched at your touch shifting earlier all make so much sense now.
âDoes that... turn you off?" Nanami asks, voice airy. "Me not being experienced?â
âWhat? No, of course not!â You pull him closer and then push up to peck at his mouth, âIf weâre really getting married then, Iâll take care of you, Kento.â
That makes his head spin with dizziness and his cock throb. So much so that he's hardly even thinking straight as he asks, âYou want to wait?â
You blink again. âYou.. donât?â
Because of the nature of your relationship, you always just assumed Nanami would prefer to wait 'til marriage, and now that he's admitted to you that he's a virgin, you were sure on that fact more now than ever.
You never had a preference of when sex between you two happened since you spent most of your time failing to think of a way out of this engagement.
âIâm sure our parents would prefer it if we did.â Nanami tells you.
Oh.
It was true, both of your parents would probably prefer the two of you doing things the more "traditional" way, but with that rebellious streak still lingering inside you...
âPerhaps we shouldnât, then.â Flies out of your mouth without second thought as you're pressing up on himâtits neat against his chest.
âI agree.â Nanami rushes out, thinking only with what's drooling in between his legs right now instead of his head. âLetâs have something for ourselves."
ââ
And have something for yourselves you did.
While one would think that after a softly whispered claim such as that, the two of you would end up fucking like feral beasts within the next few minutes⌠thatâs not quite how Nanami loses his virginity to you.
Instead, you two agree not to do anything that night.
Nanami mentioned something about not being ready for it by the time you both made it to the bedroom, but in actuality, he was a bit fearful to have sex. He told himself that kissing you would be enough for the time being, and you went right along with it.
âŚUntil the following morning, that is.
Now, after you and Nanami finally seemed to resolve whatever thick walls of tension had been between you both, you took it upon yourself to share a bed with him. Nanami, having been crushing on you from the moment he laid eyes on you, wouldâve been a fool to deny you of your wish to do so when youâd asked.
Which is exactly how you two ended up in the position youâre in nowâsnuggled up together in what used to be his bedroom but would soon be shared between you both.
Nanami remembers vividly how he told you he wanted to wait to take things to the next level but that request seems to have been tossed right out the window as he stirs awake first. Heâd always been one to think with whatâs in his head instead of whatâs in his pants but it seems a simple night of sleeping in the same bed as you is enough to change things for him.
This isnât the first time heâs woken up with a troublesome throb coming from in between his legsâespecially not since heâs been living with youâbut itâs downright ironic how he just told you he wanted to wait and now his body was desiring otherwise.
Nanami keeps his eyes shut for a while, hoping his boner would magically go away before you wake up.
Unfortunately for him, you donât even have to wake up for his situation to get worse.
His eyes end up shooting open as a soft breath of air flutters against his naked chest, making him keenly aware of your resting face smushed up against him. Then other sensations occur; the scent of your shampoo trickles up into his nose, your chest snuggly presses into his side, and your entire leg has been thrown over him somewhere in your sleep.
His gaze lifts up to the ceiling in hopes he can ignore how those combined factors do nothing more for him than lead his cock to weep small dribbles of precum against his sweatpants.Â
Nanami had gone to sleep in only his sweats due to the fact that youâd already been in his room by the time he got in the shower last night. He never found an appropriate time to slip in to grab the boxers heâd conveniently forgotten, so now he was dealing with his tip leaving a prominent wet spot against the grey fabric concealing his erection.
Fuck, heâs sure if you were to open your eyes now, youâd be met with the nasty sight. The worst part about it is the fact that you laying on top of him is only making it worse by the second because his brain just won't shut up.
He canât help but wonder how youâd react seeing him like thisâknowing youâre the reason he gets so uncomfortably hard. Would you scold him for it? Tell him off and call him a perv even after the lighthearted events of last night?
Or would you comfort him? Show him another side of you heâs only ever dreamed of seeing?
Either way he knows heâs screwed since his cock twitches at both thoughts.Â
And then you shift.
The hand you had laying idle on his chest slides down a little and his dick bobs its thick head up against his sweats. Being so sensitive to your touch was faring much worse for him than he expected it to.
Your head moves a bit as you stir awake and Nanamiâs heart is pounding so hard in his chest that he wonders if you can feel it. You turn to groggily look at him, immediately met with his half-lidded eyes meeting yours as the morning sunlight highlights the flush decorating his cheeks.
You blink a few times before mumbling, âMorning Ken.â
The arm Nanamiâs had comfortably wrapped around you grips you ever so slightly. Then he whispers back to you, âGood morning, love.â
Warmth settles into your heart at the sound of that.
âAre you okay? Your face is all red,â You point out, lifting your hand away from his chest and up to feel his forehead.
âIâm fine,â He lies, knowing youâre just one glance down from realizing heâs everything but.
You nod though, moving to sit halfway up and extend your arms over your head to stretch. Nanami watches you carefully, having spent night after night dreaming heâd wake up to this very sight.
Seeing you wearing a shirt of his because you were too lazy to go grab one of your own last night, gaze following how the fabric hugs youâNanami is forced to adjust his hips a bit.
He feels utterly perverted staring at you like this while his mind works up the most sinful imaginations of you so early in the morning.
Youâre likely about to depart from his room and yet heâs laying there wondering how your hands would feel exploring every inch of him.
âKento,â He flinches at the abrupt utterance of his name. Then he focuses his attention back onto your face and notices where your eyes have finally fallen. âDo you uhm,â You point at his crotch, âDo you want help with that?â
Something especially wet slides down the side of his cockâas if he were literally drooling from his tip. Glancing down at himself, then back up at you, âYou can ignore it if you want. I justââ
âI donât wanna ignore it, though.â You admit, leaning closer to him.
Nanamiâs breath catches for a moment and he tries to sit up, only to be stopped by your hand meeting his chest and lightly pushing him back down. Eyes softening on you, âWhat are you doing?â
âI told you Iâd take care of you last night, didnât I?â You remind him.
He gulps, âYes but⌠I didnât think youâd want to do something like this. Itâs embarrassing and..."
As he speaks, your hand is traveling down the smooth, yet firm board of his absâfeeling him tense 'n twitch the lower your touch gets.
It's not until you're playing with the drawstrings of his sweats that he lets out a rather submissive noise. "...A-Are you really going to touch that?" Nanami squeaks.
You smile at him innocently, "Touch what?"
The usual base in his voice is all but lost as he gulps, "My cock."
"We agreed to have something for ourselves," Your fingers halt against his drawstrings and then slip under the fabric, skimming over the light tufts of blonde hair just above his base. "So unless you want me to stop, I should like to have this for myself."
Nanami shakes his head slowly, chest rising and falling as his nervousness runs rampant throughout his body, "N-No, don't stop."
Those words are exactly what lead you to jerking your fiancĂŠ off on that slow morning, eventually working his cock out of his sweats and kissing at his flushed skin as your hand travels up 'n down his length.
It was more intimate than it was inherently sexual up until Nanami began returning the favor. In the middle of your lips locking against his, you felt a hand creep in between your legsâpalming your pussy just to feel how wet you got from jerking him off.
As Nanami's big hand lightly squeezed and then rubbed over you through the cottony shorts you were clad in, you both began to pant heavily into one another's mouth.
The room got hotter and both of you got needier, your thumb teasing his sobbed tip as it traveled through his slit, and his hand wasting no time in locating your core without all the measly fabrics in the way.
He hadn't even seen you and yet he was muttering into your mouth, âGod, youâre gorgeous..." Two long fingers gliding up 'n down your leaky entrance, âIâve thought this from the moment I met you.â
âMgh-, Kento,â You gasped in return, your hand growing shaky around his dick whilst your wet lips messily detached from his.
Nanami may have been unexperienced and shy but the second half of that seemed to go out the window the moment he felt how aroused you were. "Can I feel how gorgeous you are in here?" He politely asked, fingertips rounding your oozy hole and daring to slip inside.
As you nod, he watched your face intently to see your expression twist up in response to his digits greeting your warmth. Then your hand had tightened around his cock and he hissed out some sort of low curse.
It wasnât long before the two of you were making a mess around each otherâs hand. But that didnât seem to be enough for either of youâespecially not Nanami whoâd been waiting for this day for months.
When you soon strip whatâs left of your clothes off, tossing them across the room, and then throwing your leg over his body to straddle him, he gapes up at you in pure awe.
Thereâs nothing sexier than watching the woman heâd silently fallen for get on top of him with such a starved look in her eye.
And the way you move to grab his cockâangling it against your cunt and furrowing your brows with great focusâhas his jaw left open. Drool slips out the corner of his mouth and nothing can compare to watching you slooowly sink down on him.
Nanami never thought himself to be big or anything like that, but considering the way you struggle and flinch as he enters youâŚ
He nearly gets nervous all over again before your head tips back and you slip further down, fluttering walls swallowing him in thankfully with a sloshy squelch ringing out upon each quivering inch.
âKento,â You husk out, moving one hand to his lower abdomen for support just as he grabs at your waist.
âYou say my name so sweetly,â Nanami compliments with sweat causing his blond hairs to cling to his forehead. Eyes batting up, âDoes⌠Does it feel good?â He nearly moans, âDo I feel good inside you?â
Youâd thought it be obvious based on the whorish way in which your face is twisting upâtears coating your waterline from the long stretch of his cock.
Each time you think youâve met his deft base, you found yourself still traveling down on him. Nanamiâs cock stood up straight with no curve, giving you nonexistent room to run or escape his sheer size.
âUhuh, yes,â You eventually whimper.
He seems a little unconvinced below you, âYou keep squirming, though. Are you sure?â
âKento,â You lock eyes with him and his cock twitches against the lathering edges of your inner walls, âYou feel fuckinâ perfect inside me.â
âO-Oh.â Then his hips snap upwards uncontrollably, and your body jerks along with it as you moan out. âSorry,â Nanami huffs, repeating the movement despite his apology, âFuck-, sorry. You feel s-so good-, ngh.. so wet ân warm.â
It was almost like he couldnât help himself. As soon as he heard your praise and saw the way his your cunt lips bulged around the very wide ân thumping base of his cock, his hips moved on their own.
He was fucking himself up into you and watching how pretty your tits looked bouncing along with the rest of your body before he knew it.
Hearing you cry out, âKentoo! Nngh, right there.â
âThere? Do I feel good there?â He asked, punctuating his words with a sharp thrust.
Your goopy insides gobble up everyyyy inch of him so perfectly that he feels like heâll cum in you without realizing it any second now. Especially as you begin to rock your hips along with him, gaining your own momentum and fucking yourself down on him to further paint his cock with filthy traces of your slick.
âHahh, your hips wonât stop moving,â Nanami grunt, brows taut together, âDo you like my cock that much?â
His only response to that is a wild throb around him.
To which he smirks briefly, âSâthat-, hahh.. Sâthat supposed to be a yes?"
Left to whine helplessly, your hands clasp over his wrists and he maneuvers them to hold them instead as you nod.
âSay it then,â Nanami hums, âI want to hear more of you, instead of her.â
Her..? Your brows furrow, âWhaââ
Oh. As Nanamiâs thumb darts across your clit, you understand quickly what he meant.
âF-Fuuck,â You moan, âYes-, just like that, Kenâ.â
Something pitiful ân creamy gushes up into you but neither of you really acknowledge it.
âYeah? Fuck,â Nanami curses lowly, his pupils dilated out, âMore, p-praise me more⌠Please?â
Your fingers clench at the skin of his large hands, hips rolling back ân forth with needy vigor as his dick knocks around every nook of your cunt.
âKen, sâgood. Ah! Youâre doinâ so good for me,â You praise all prettily, head tilting a little once you realize heâs left most of the movement to you, âJ-Just-, mngh! Just go a little harder. You can be rough with me.â
His eyes soften, âAre you sure? I donât want to-â
âKento.â You scold, âFuck me.â
That flips a switch in Nanamiâs head and you lose the hand holding with him as he grabs ahold of your body and promptly flips you over. Your back clashes into the fluff of the bed and he slips out of you for a second too long, hurrying to stretch at your wet core once more.
âIs that it? Sâthat how you want me, sweetheart?â Nanami heaves with a different look in his eyes. Before you can even answer him, heâs got two fingers pulling your pussylips apart to watch that glossy, debauched sight of his cock entering you again. âYeahhh, this is how you like it. Goddd, Iâve fantasized about this, yâknow.â
Your legs are captured into his hands within the next moment and heâs got you in a meann mating press as if to prove a point. Itâs almost like your little permission of a harder fucking had challenged him or something.
Nanamiâs voice sticks against your ear, âGot off just thinking about how good itâd feel inside you and n-nowââ Both your body and the bed jolt up with his rude thrusting, the mushroomy head of his dick kissing at your sweet spot, âFuck, now Iâm in here.â
âUhuhhh,â Your jaw slacks and youâre the one drooling as if fucked-out now.
He lifts his head for a moment just to hold eyes with you. Whispering, âDeep in here too, huh?â
You pout, âD-Donât get cocky.â
âIâm just being honest, look.â His hand moves to splay out against the fat bulge of his cock nestled inside of you.
You moan, nibbling at your bottom lip to conceal a slutty little smile, "Yeah, but you also-, mmh.. you also came inside me."
Nanami smiles back at you for realizing heâd already experienced an orgasm, "Hahh.. accidents happen..â
"No, you meant to do that,â You tease back with your arms wrapping around his neck.
"I have an obligation to breed my girl, do I not?" With that, another load is being french kissed against your womb, globs and globs of an impossibly thicker substance filling you.
You tug him down for a kiss and your lips tangle against one another as you whisper into his groans, "I suppose you do."
ââ
It wouldâve been lovely if that intimate morning was the very thing that solidified your relationship with Nanami. The days after were filled with a more loving relationship, leading both of you to assume things from there on out would work.
And it shouldâve! It really, really shouldâve.
But you were forgetting one rather important factor.
It was foolish for you to think life was gonna let you fall for another man without throwing a surprise at you.
The following days after you and Nanami finally seemed to break down whatever walls were being held up between you, something changed.
You noticed Nanami on his phone more often, heard him chuckling on calls at inappropriate hours of the night, and caught a newfound light lingering in his eyes as if you and someone else were brightening his every day.
Now, you know Nanami wouldnât be dumb enough to have an affair going on during his engagement to youâespecially when heâs the one who had less of a problem with the arranged marriage to begin with. But, at the same time, he started to act differently.
Not with you, of course. Just⌠with everything else.
He almost seemed happier in some ways. You wanted to rejoice in the positive energy he radiated now, but there was a shadow of doubt casting over you at every turn.
Something bad was on the uprise.
And that something rears its ugly head on the day Nanami calls you out to help a âfriendâ of his move into the city.
You almost said noâand maybe you shouldâveâbut with the way he asked all soft ân hopefully like he just wanted to include you in more parts of his life now that you two were somewhat happily together, it was too hard to turn him down.
Besides, you told yourself that this is what you wanted, right?
Hence why youâre pulling up to an address for some luxury apartment complex Nanami had sent you, and aiding him with unloading a truck full of boxes.
Swirling around as the sun casts its warm glow down onto the right side of your face, you glance down at the box thatâs found itself in your hand for a moment. It was rather large ân heavy when you swiped it up so obviously you grow curious about whatâs in it.
The word Gavels is printed out over the top in Shappie, making you snort a bit. âKen, is your best friend a judge or something?â You ask curiously, looking over his way.
Nanami waves a dismissive hand at you playfully, âIgnore him and his weird assortment of items. I couldnât tell you why he has that, honestly.â
You chuckle again and open your mouth to say something just as you catch the apartment complex doors swinging open. Unfortunately, your words die out on your tongue along with your smile the moment you see a familiar face strolling towards you and Nanami.
Your heart sinks to your ass and you think youâve lost all sense of movement as you and the familiar face in question lock eyes.
Higuruma nearly tripsâjust barely managing to catch his footing before making a fool of himself. Quickly taking his eyes off of you and hoping heâs just imagining things, he makes way towards your fiancĂŠ.
You hoped for a second that he wasnât the best friend whoâs been bringing Nanamiâs energy up lately. Thereâs no way, riâ
âKento,â Fuck. âIs this one giving you some trouble?â Higuruma asks before reaching his hands out to take the box Nanamiâs holding, âYouâve been out here for a while, I was starting to get worried.â
Nanami, none the wiser, smiles softly as he keeps the box close to him, âNo, no, I was getting distracted by my darling fiancĂŠe here.â Then he gestures your way with a tilt of his head and gives Higuruma your name to introduce you.Â
And god is it awkward.
The two of you donât bother meeting eyes, Higuruma introduces himself as if he doesnât vividly remember the way you were drooling his name out into his bedsheets some months ago, and both of you can feel how things are about to play out from here on out already.
After the thin-lipped, unnecessary exchange of names, Higuruma steps forward to try helpfully taking the weighty box out of your hands.
âAh, no, itâs fine,â You shake your head and step back a bit, âIâve got it.â
He ignores your claims, âNo, please, I insist. This is one of the heavier boxes left.â
His hands meet the ends of said box, brushing over yours.
Tension shoots throughout your body as if youâd been shot and your voice bursts out of you with more conviction in it than necessary, âReally, Iâm fine.â
As if he handn;t heard a thing you just said, Higurumaâs eyes steady onto yours and itâs like his hold on you returns all in one moment. Memories of that night wash over every thought youâve had since and your breath is nowhere to be found as he finally takes the box from you. Sternly humming, âAllow me.â
Againâawkwaaaaard.
You clear your throat and try to recompose yourself by looking away, âThereâs uh, thereâs a lot of gavels in thereâŚâ Maybe if you pretend not to know him, thatâll help your situation? âAre you a judge?â
Hopefully he doesnât remember you.
Higuruma stops to think for a moment, then smirks, âDependsâŚâ He trails off for a second much too long. âIs that your type?â
The questionâthe theme of which had been repeated to you multiple times throughout that night you spent togetherâhas a chill churning down your body and straight to your cunt. You almost wish youâd forgotten about him now because it was clear he damn sure didnât.
Nanami nudges his arm, turning to him, âAre you flirting with my fiancĂŠe, right in front of me? Have you no shame?â He teases.
Higuruma sends him an innocent smile, âYou hate it when I flirt with you, so I thought Iâd try something a little different.â
The two men carry on with banterful conversation that somehow manages to exclude you, but youâre stuck reeling over the fact that this is truly happening to you.
Your fiancĂŠâs best friend is the same man you slept with on the day before you got engaged.
What the hell are you gonna do now?
ââ
Simple; youâll treat Higurma the same way you treated Nanami for the first seven months of your engagmentâavoiding him like the fuckinâ plague.
Even being in the same room with him was like torture though.Â
Higuruma was shameless with how he sent you these accusatory looks, as if it were somehow your fault that you two spent a night together just for you to end up marrying his best friend.
Who seemed to be a little more than that to Higuruma as the weeks passed by, might you addâŚ
Maybe it was just that shamelessness of his, but Higuruma wasnât exactly subtle with how he eyes your fiancĂŠ. Like, not subtle at all.
Youâre not blind and youâre far from stupidâyou know what a yearning man looks like.
The only confusing thing about it was the fact that Higurma shared those gazes between you and Nanami as if he were experiencing bi-panic every single time he interacted with you guys.
Nanami seemed clueless to all of this. Which, checks out considering heâd spent so long as a virgin and probably doesnât have the best sense of picking up on flirtatious or romantic looks.Â
None of that takes away from the tension building between the three of you though.
You could keep yourself distanced from Higuruma all you wanted, but if he had any say in the matterâwhich apparently he didâthis wouldnât last forever.
In fact, it only lasts until the night before your wedding.
Because you kept Nanami in the dark when it came to what had happened between you and Higuruma, he would constantly bring the three of you together. You would all meet up for lunches, go out for drinks, and linger a little too long in conversations that should've felt harmless but never did.
The three of you fit together rather naturally.
So much so that after a long day of being with the both of them, you just barely managed to break off into your Higuruma's kitchen for a moment to breathe. It was hard pretending that he didn't have you uneasy, particularly on nights like this where Nanami instead the two of you spend time at his place.
You were supposed to walk down the aisle tomorrow and yet the marriage had somehow become the least of your worries.
Now you were stress cleaning a spotless counter, panicking in thought of how the your married days would play out if Nanami planned to never break his friendship with that devilishly handsome lawyer.
And what would you even say if Nanami ever found out aboutâ
âYouâve been avoiding me,â Higuruma murmured, voice like a cruel drag of burning smoke to your spine.
You swirl around, already looking for an escape.
He naturally steps in your way before you can even depart from the counter, âDonât try doing it now, either. I just want to talk.â
Shit.
Letting your shoulders slump, âWhat is there to talk about?â You ask.
Everything about the conversation you begin to have with him goes by with rapid fire questions and responses.
Higuruma enters the kitchen fully and makes his way towards you. Keeping his voice low, âArenât you curious?â
You remain where you are, too fearful to make any sudden movements just yet, âOf?â
âWhy I didnât contact you.â He clarifies.
âNo.â
He stops just short of entering your personal space and a stupid smirk appears on his face, âLiar.â
âAsshole.â You shoot back.
He scoffs, âThat was cute.â Stepping closer again, âBut you donât mean that.â
You finally manage to shift further back, âIt doesn't matter why you didn't contact me, considering Iâm engaged now.â
âIâm well aware,â Higuruma chuckles, âTo quite the astonishing man, might I add.â
The compliment rolled so easily off his tongue that it almost made you jealous. But, in the recent time you'd come to know Higuruma again, you'd learned that he and Nanami had been "friends" for years.
Friends remaining in quotes due to the questionable way in which Higuruma's voice softens whenever he speaks highly of his best friend, how his eyes showcase something of longing within them, and how he admires your partner in a manner well beyond something friendly.
"Fine, I'll bite." You soon sigh as you fold your arms, âHow could you not call, or text? I didn't leave my number for no reason.â
âI knew you were curious." He hums victoriously, "Anyhow, I was busy, andââ
That ticks you off faster than you expect it to and words shoot out of your mouth carrying solid repugnance, âPeople make time for what and who they care about.â
Higuruma also decides to speak without thinking, staring you down as he says, âHow could I care about you? I spent one night with you.â
That hits much harder than you expect it to.
You thought you'd moved on but the feelings you'd been harboring for the man come back all in one moment, âWow.â
âI'm being honest. I hardly knew you,â He shrugs, âWe had a wonderful night, but I was swamped with responsibilities directly afterâespecially between work and preparing to move.â
âI don't even know why I asked.â You scoff, rolling your eyes elsewhere and attempting to turn away, "Fuck you"
Higuruma bites back a smile. Thatâs fairâhe thinks, hating how your immediate response for him never fails to rial him up. Itâs one thing (amongst others) that he couldnât stop thinking about after that night with you, âYou did that already."
"Save me the cliche responses." You nearly push past him, "If you have nothing of substance to talk about with me, then iâmââ
He steps in your way again, flying a hand to your waist that you don't even try to remove. Then both his words and voice comes out softer, âFor what itâs worth, Iâm sorry.â
Your jaw tenses, âItâs worth noth-â
âYou donât have to lie to me,â He interrupts as if he knew exactly what you were gonna say. âI know itâs worth something to you, donât be so stubborn.â
For the first time since he'd entered the kitchen, you manage to meet eyes with him, âWhy should it be worth anything to me when the night we spent together wasnât worth anything to you?!â
âI never said that.â Higuruma claims.
âWell, it was heavily implied.â You scoff, yet to remove his hand from your waist. âWhereâs Kento?â
âAsleep.â
Your tongue clicks, âAh, so youâve ambushed me. Got it.â
The man laughs, âNot at all. I only want to talk.â
âYou donât have to be this close to talk to me.â
âItâs the only way youâll listen, as Iâve come to learn.â
You ultimately smack his hand off, â...Itâs wrong to touch an engaged woman in this way.â Higuruma scoffs and you send him a glare, âSomething funny?â
A smug look takes over his usually tied features, âWe both know you donât really want anything to do with Kento or that arrangement youâre trapped in.â
You're left offended, âYou donât know shit.â
ââand I donât owe you any sort of explanations. I donât need you to save me from this, or to sweet talk your way back into my life.â You explain, despite yourself, âI donât need you, period.â
He takes a moment to let your words settle, then the corner of his lips quirk further up, âDoes lying to yourself like this help you cope?â
âCope with what.â You breathe.
âCope with the fact that you donât feel the slightest thing for Kentoâand you may never be able toâbecause youâre still stuck on that night we had together.â
âI⌠I-Iâm not-,â Your words tangle up, âIâm not stuck on anything.â
âSo answer me then,â That hand returns to your waist and he takes up the space directly in front of you, his other hand coming to your chin to tip your head up, âWhy have you been avoiding me?â
His touches should've felt disrespectful to what you had built with Nanami thus far, but in the moment you found yourself forgetting that.
The contact leaves you blurting your truth out, ââŚItâs awkward to face you.â
And he's annoyingly quick to ask, âWhy?â
âBecause..."
Higuruma gets closer, âBecause, what? Because you canât stop thinking about it? About that night? About me?â He leans to your ear, âAbout us?â
Your resolve crumbles, ââŚFuck you.â
He lightly grabs a full hold of your jaw and lifts your face further up, âYou want to so badly, huh? Havenât even let poor Kento kiss you because of it, I bet.â
It was ironic how wrong he was with that statement.
But you don't get to argue about it because the man in question walks in with a loud clearing of his throat, "Whatâs going on here?â
You instantly shuffle away and nearly trip over yourself, muttering, âShit.â
Higuruma remains casual and swivels around, âWe were just talking, Kenâ.â
The nickname on his tongue makes your stomach twist up weirdly but you refuse to label it as jealousy for sure.
âYou two seemed rather close for a conversation,â Nanami says, nearing you already and bringing a warm hand to where you'd bumped into the counter, âAnd you hit your hip, are you alright?â
The fact that he noticed that makes your heart churn with guilt, âI-Iâm fine.â
âYour voice is unsteady,â He points out, glancing at Higuruma. âWhat kind of conversation were you two having, exactly?â
âOne of the past.â Higuruma replies for you.
âHiromi.â You warn.
His dark brows furrow, âWhat? Surely you donât mean to hide it from the man youâll be married to by tomorrow.â
âHide what from me?â Nanami presses.
Putting it all out there, "We slept together. The night before you two met, actually.â
Those words open an entirely new can of words that span out for the next few minutes, ultimately resulting in a series of confessions. Many truths come out all at once.
Nanami asks you if that's why the two of you spent seven months like strangers, to which you naturally deny. Then he asks if you have feelings for Higuruma and you begrudgingly admit that you do, only to get rejected again by the manâsince he had a confession of his own to get out.
The night was a lot, all because Higuruma decided to ambush you in the kitchen.
Hell, with the way things play out, you nearly wonder if the two men had planned this sorta thing. Especially when all feelings have been expressed and you realize it's a three-way mess of romance with only one not-so-obvious solution.
Of which Higuruma is the one to explain by making his way in between you and Nanami.
His hand intimately glided hand along Nanami's shoulder, then his neck, and soon grabs his jaw at the same time he grabs your hand and pulls you closer.
Higuruma leans over as if to kiss Nanami before whispering, âLet me be yours.â He starts, turning to you to kiss your hand fully, âAnd yoursâif youâll both have me.â
Obviously, the two of you let out a choke.
âWhat?â You snort.
Meanwhile Nanamiâs face has gone beat red, âYouâre suggesting a throuple? Hours before I'm to be married??â
Higuruma meets his eyes, âYes. Think about it, how could your family deny another powerful union?â Then he looks to you, âSame with yours. Two brilliant men at your beck and callâtwice the chances of you getting pregnant, as you've mentioned they so desperately want for you.â
With all that's transpired, you hardly even remembered doing that. But, you knew he had a point.
A damn good one too.
ââ
And to solidify the threeway agreement you all come to after a rather hasty conversation... the three of you rightfully make your way upstairs together.
Nothing else mattered when you had two genres of your type catering to both you, and one another, within the confines of Higuruma's bedroom.
By now, your body was trembling between them as you found yourself caught right in between the raw heat of pent up arousal. Nanami's hands were gripping your hips firmly, his fingers grounding into your flesh as he thrusted deep into you. His familiarly thick shaft kept your sloshing pussy stretched with each deliberate push of his hips.
The slick sounds of skin clashing against skin crowded the room, and your muffled moans vibrated against the cock Higuruma had curving all nastily into your mouth. There was a steady rhythm between the two men that swiftly guided your body back 'n forth between their much bulkier ones.
Nanamiâs stiff cock easily broke you open from the back, while Higurumaâs leftly curving length slathered against the center of your drooling tongue.
A low groan rumbled right out from Higuruma's chest, his hazed eyes locked onto your teary onesâloving the way your swollen lips stretched around him, âOhhhh fuck, I bet youâve been wanting this, huh?â He puffed hotly, mixing his questions with praises of, "That's it, sweet girl." and, "Take me juuust like that, mhm."
Even if you could answer him, Nanami wasn't letting up with how his pace was building. His hand slides up the delicate arch in your spine, forcing you to feel every twitching vein 'n inch of his like he'd done beforeâthe sensation sending rapturous sparks through your core.
"Our greedy girl," He grunted, not even noticing the way Higuruma began to lean closer to him. "S'tight in here-, fuck. You were never gonna be satisfied with one or the other..."
The dual stimulation was enough to have your eyes cloudy as pretty streaks of tears ran down your face. Higuruma would do his best to wipe them from you, but when he saw how Nanami wasn't doing much betterâeven with how filthy he managed to speak to youâhe couldn't help but get distracted.
Higuruma's cock throbbed against the roof of your mouth, your cheek hollowing out so you can swirl your tongue along his veiny underside and draw a crisp hiss from him. Then his hips buck forward and push you further back onto Nanamiâmaking the blond gasp while you gag.
You're too busy doing exactly that to see how the Higuruma takes his hands off of you for a moment to grab at Nanami's face, tugging him over and kissing him. Nanami's thoroughly fucked out and can hardly think with the combination of your cunt quivering around him as his best friend devours the inside of his mouth.
Then Nanami's pouring his words out against Higuruma's lips, "A greedy pussy like this needs two cocks to fill her right."
Higuruma whines at that as if his dream were actively coming true. "That means we hafta' take turns ruining her, right?" He mumbles.
You barely realize what that means before Nanami's withdrawing from you, leaving your pussy all aching 'n emptyâslick arousal dripping down your thighs.
A gasp hitches out of you as Higuruma then moves to take his place behind you, grabby hands pawing at your ass to spread you out for him to see. His plump tp presses against your entrance to tease you just once before he sinks in with a smooth thrust. The angle instantly hits differentlyâdeeper, brushing against your candied walls in a way that causes your fingernails to curl into the sheets.
Meanwhile Nanami kneels in front of you now, his erection overtly rigid and shimmering with your juices. He cups your face a moment, wiping drool from your chin. "Messy girl," He whispers lovingly, tapping at your bottom lip. "Open up nice and wide for me, yeah?" He instructs.
It was clear he gained a little more confidence with the presence of his best friend.
The taste of him soon mixes with the prior taste of Higuruma on your tongue as you bob your head, feeling your tongue sore from all the weight that's rut against it for the past however many minutes.
Higuruma's hips slap harder against your skin, his palm calming down on your ass with a slight smack. You push back against him and he scoffs, "You should see the mess you're making. Should be ashamed of it, really."
Then Nanami's distracting you all over again with his hand tangling into your hair and his words landing down on you, "Swallow around me-, mhm."
You cry out around his cock, the thrum making him thrust a little more erratically. Higuruma's following soon after by burring himself impossibly deeper before choking on his own breath and spilling hot 'n sappy cum inside you.
A few seconds pass, and while he's pulling out of you to watch his seed chase after his tip with stringy shlicks, Nanami's impolitely releasing his own few thick ropes of cum down your throat.
Panting, you're slowly eased down onto the bed by the two menâwho waste no time in cleaning you of their messâand you all flop into some semblance of relaxation.
You're barely lucid but you feel Higuruma pressing kisses into your temple as Nanami keeps wiping at the lower half of your face. Then, the lawyer whispers, "I'll make it all official by morningâdocuments and all."
As if you cared about any of that now...
Nanami nods along though, pulling you closer and leaving you to wonderâif both men really were to become your husbands, and nights like this would occur more often...
additional tags of interest: @blkkizzat @cupidstrace @uhnosav @madamechrissy @yenayaps
another authorâs note: and just in case anyone asks... no, im not going to nearly match the wc with my follower count like this ever again. i just got caught up in the plot!
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They're everything in between (the cleaner's POV of your relationship with enjin)
â synopsis: You and Enjin's relationship cause quite the confusion within the cleaners, so they try to decipher it together (aka they gossip about you guys)
â tags: crack fic, implied more than friends, gossiping, slight manga spoilers about Amo and Fu, she/her pronouns for reader, in denial of feelings
â A/n: Yeyyy I finally uploaded this, I was supposed to upload this earlier, but I was busy with my research defense. This is basically a song fic as their dialogues are lyrics from "in between by Gracie Abrams" so I'd recommend listening to that while reading, enjoy! all images used were taken from pinterest, I do not own any of these pictures and full rights go to the owners.
When Rudo first meet Enjin he thought he was an asshole. He still does occasionally; When Enjin wants him to learn something on his own, and only giving him straws of hints to grasp onto. Now his viewpoint of the blonde has significantly improved, especially with how he does try his best to help Rudo with his endeavors in going back up to the sphere. As well as uplifting and mentoring Rudo in his own very bizarre and laid back way.
But then his entire perspective of the man went askew the moment you came into the picture.
You were so grounded. In the way that you carry yourself and how you treated others. A constant stability in the unpredictable world of the Ground. Always true and loyal to yourself and those that you love. Perhaps that's why people often gravitate towards you, whether it be for comfort, any form of physical affection or simply to talk and seek advice. you were there with open arms. Never speaking in any unkind manner, but quick in mind with how you deal and respond to unnecessary comments directed at you or to anyone on your team.
Rudo could never forget the time when you were always asking about Regto; about his features, his personality, everything about the man that stepped up in rudo's life. Then a few days later, handing him a perfectly drawn portrait of his adoptive father that you commissioned from remlin . The way your hand softly held his gloved ones and told him "It's okay to let yourself mourn, even with all that anger bubbling up inside you; after all, what is grief if not love persevering?"
so yeah, Rudo might be slightly attached to you, he might even owe you. A lot.
So imagine his shock to see the first time you and Enjin interacted with each other. Two completely different vibes, completely on the opposite sides of the spectrum. You were stable while he was spontaneous, but the way you two worked so well together was unbelievable. You grounded the umbrella user, while he taught you how to indulge in a little thrill from time to time. Not to mention how you softened up the man. For someone who claims to hate clingy people, he seemed to turn into one with you. You were no exception. The way you let yourself let go of your reigns a bit and just be carefree with Enjin was fascinating to watch. You both brought out different sides of each other that no one else knew about. Especially with how you two talked to each other. Inside jokes and endless banter. Rudo couldn't help but just stare at you two every time.
Of course he would surmise that you two were together! But he never assumed unless stated, so he never said a thing.
On one occasion, he was staring particularly long at Enjin, who was cackling alongside you as you tried out the new energy drink the suppliers got everyone. The young boy observed the way the blonde was wiping off a few droplets of juice off the side of your mouth, not missing the fond look Enjin gave you. And you beaming at him in return. Rudo was staring so hard that he didn't even notice the rest of team akuta standing beside him to watch the nauseatingly tender moment in front of them.
"you just can't come between them huh?" Riyo suddenly mused, making Rudo jump at the sudden noise.
"they've kinda' got their own thing" Zanka agreed.
Rudo looked to his side to see the rest of team akuta as well as Amo, Fu, and Follo observing you and enjin from a good distance in the lounge area.
"how long have you guys been here?" Rudo huffed, waving hi to a smiling Amo who waved at him first.
"a while" they said in unison.
then they turned to watch you and Enjin once more. This time he was animatedly telling some juicy gossipâhe got from the next town overâto you, while you watched him with your chin resting on the palm of you hand, your smile wide and eyes crinkled. If the kids didn't know any better, they'd say that your eyes were sparkling while gazing at Enjin.
"I just wished that he'd stop pretending that he wouldn't let his choker ring for more than a couple seconds every time she calls" Follo blurted out.
"Amo thinks that nice lady and stinky face might be two hearts just falling in and out of love for somethingâŚnew. Even though Amo knows that stinky face doesn't even deserve to be near nice lady and her warm welcoming scent" Amo noted, a matter of factly. Pouting in disgust at the way Enjin leans his head on your shoulder as you talked.
"You guys are just noticing this now?" Another voice spoke up, but it wasn't from the initial crowd of young onlookers. This time it came from a bored looking Semiu, accompanied by a smiling Gris and an amused looking Tomme.
"Mannn, if you guys only knew" Gris chuckled.
"I just wish that you guys could see how their faces lighten up when they see each other again after being separated from a mission" He proclaimed, sipping on the can of beer resting on his fingers.
"Can't really blame em' with their shared cold and empty past, they know it's been enough of waitin' on somebody who doesn't care" semiu remarked, having known you both the longest as well as knowing your backstories alongside the boss.
"But she knows his name, and she knows he'll always be there; same goes for him."
Then their eyes were on you and Enjin once more. You were wiping something off his jacket as he leaned down to whisper something to you, his hand covering his mouth from their groups perspective; so they might never know what the blonde said to you. Whatever it was, it made you gasp and chortle for air. He laughs alongside you, smiling at your eyes, your smile, pushing your glasses up from falling off your face.
"Don't even get me started on their late night calls" Tomme sighs, exasperated. She's unlucky enough to have been in the room next to yoursâwhere she could hear every little conversation you had with Enjin, and every time, on the clock; Enjin would call you at 10 pm on the dot. Even when you two just saw each other a few minutes ago or when Enjin was out and about to who knows where. Even when you had nothing else to say; Enjin would be there, voice coming out of your choker, complementing every little thing about you. How beautiful you are, funny, and smart like nothing he's ever seen.
"Glad to know that he's good to her." Gris remarked.
"They seem to want each other, so what are they really?" Rudo seemed to voice out the very main thought of every single person in their steadily growing group. With no one to give any answer to that question.
"Probably friends or moreâŚand everything in between" another voice spoke, this time it came from the meek and quiet healer of the cleaners. Eishia was quick to look down as the others sent their gaze her way, her words echoing between the silence of their thoughts.
Makes sense
"They definitely toe the line between their friendship" the honeyed voice of tamsy muttered, arms crossed above his chest. Raising an eyebrow at the not so friendly way Enjin was now currently holding your hand, gliding his thumb back and forth above your knuckles.
No matter how many times you two denied or rejected the idea of any romantic implication between one another, there was definitely something brewing between you two, no matter how slow the burn may be, all must inevitably boil over until these feeling couldnât be withheld anymore. Holy ground was beneath yours and Enjin's feet, all you both had to do was fall.
"Did'ya guys know that Enjin absolutely HATESS it when she's crying?" August's boisterous whisper (he'd consider it a whisper in his book) caught their attention. Not expecting the platinum blonde to even have any interest in things that don't relate to his fashion line or family. "Eishy told me once that when Enjin took a particularly NASTAY hit from a trash beast and couldn't even stand up, she practically flooded the infirmary with er' tears and ya boi Enjin didn't even care about his sick injuries and just hugged herâEAOUCH!" the zap of electricity made the ends of August's hair stand up, Eishia was clutching at her brother's forearm, face flushed with embarrassment.
"Brotherrrr, you weren't supposed to tell anyone that! You promised"
"Speaking of stories, for someone who loathes high maintenance people, Enjin sure is super clingy when it comes to herâŚwhat's up with that?" Surprisingly, it was fu who asked the question.
Riyo smirked and leaned into Fu's direction, whispering her words quietly, but just enough for the group to hear. "One time he kept on calling her on her choker nonstop to ask when she was coming home from her mission"
That made Fu (as well as the others from the group) even more confused on where you two stood between each other.
Gris pat Fu on the back, shrugging. As did all the others who've watched you and Enjin's relationship for months and years. They've got no answer to that, but they do know that even at you and Enjin's worst, they know that you two will still be okay.
â Additional A/n: I'll also be uploading the part 2 for the zanka fic, so stay tuned for that! lots of love, mwuah!
fellow filipino, how are we coping with the tumblr ban TT
OH MY GOD DONâT EVEN GET ME STARTEDDDDUHH. (practically) useless na nga sila, bobo pa. Who the hell decides to ban an app for (alleged) gambling schemes without conducting any sort of basic research on what the app entails???? This could've all been avoided if they DID in fact conduct immersed investigations before coming to that conclusion. đŠđŽâđ¨ anyways, thankfully my app isn't shut down on my phone and laptop, otherwise kukulamin ko talaga silang lahat sa governmentđŤĽ
The fact that I went in expecting a cool shonen and I got that, but also a genuine story about connecting with people and letting go of your personal bias in order to grow is so important to me. The story is directly tied to Rudoâs personal growth and him overcoming his flaws and the other characters doing the same by interacting with him and reevaluating their own values and belives. Itâs so refreshing reading Gachiakuta after an era of objectively good and cool, but also very slow shonen manga where the emotional message gets lost or muddled and buried by the plot or the power system. Urana-sensei really said here, a young protagonist with anger issues and a tender heart, watch him grow and be better
you kissed me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever
â synopsis: in between the push and pull of your relationship with zanka, perhaps all you needed was a little liquid courage.
â tags: friends to lovers, underage drinking(drink responsibly guys), mutual pining, these two are just pathetic for each other, drunken kisses, sloppy make outs, I tried to make the reader as gender neutral as I could, suggestive themes(?) (is making out suggestive?)
wc: 3k
â A/n: I wrote this instead of doing my accomplishment report, also I scoured the internet on the topic of "what does kissing feel like?" so safe to say I'm not well versed in the art of make outs, I almost considered asking my friend to make out with me so that I'll be able to write this correctly. also I remembered that they legit don't know what a moon probably is in the gachiakuta world due to the smog and pollution in the sky, so let's just pretend that they do for the sake of this fic. all images used were taken from pinterest, I do not own any of these pictures and full rights go to the owners.
To say that the adults from cleaners HQ drank a lot would be an understatement. They'd find many and any reason for a quick drink. A new cleaner was recruited? Time for a celebratory drink. They just defeated a big ass trash beast? A little drinking treat after the job would be nice. A comrade was heavily injured? Theyâll buy them a get well soon drink (not including the kids of course). Theyâll drink especially on holidays. Their table crowded and busy on these days, often leading to them not being aware of their surroundings. You've always known this â of course â ever the observant one. Zanka noticed this as well, he'd also take note of the way you'd grin at him a bit, as he always does with everything you do, eyes darting from him to the crates of drinks the adults set aside to chill. He'd raise an eyebrow at you, shaking his head in disapprovalâwhile you'd just nudge his side with your elbow in jest.
Tonight though, was the night you decided to act upon an itch. while the adults thought that all the younger members of the cleaners were asleep, they popped out several crates of chilled booze and wine. What they failed to notice was your figure crouching silently with the shadows of the corners of the dimly lit room, waiting for the moment to present itself to you.
Enjin slung his arm around Gris, trying to coax him into a drinking contest. Semiu was tastefully appraising the glass of wine on her hand, swirling the deep purple liquid round her glass. Bro was happily popping open a bottle of beer alongside Delmon, who kept on forgetting to control his vocal volume and was being constantly hushed by Tomme whose side was accompanied by a smiling Tamsy, cradling a glass of white wine. Even the boss was included in this little get together, smiling at the scene in front of him.
A moment passed, then another. finally, the opportunity arose when Delmon cheered a bit too hard and it woke up Dear whose irritated stomping shook the entire building. As bro hastened to put Dear back to sleep, the others were fussing at each other to keep quiet. Leaving the ice box with the chilled drinks unattended. Quickly, you scramble on your feet, careful not to make any susurrations. Swiftly nabbing a bottle of red wine and two cans of cold beer. Dashing towards the other door, you look back to see the slight trail of wetness in your wake, but it's subtle enough to be mistaken for the residue of their little gathering.
Your feet padded through the halls of the graffitied corridor, colors melding into each other as you hurriedly made your way towards the end of the hallway. Knuckles rapping on the worn wood of the room next to yours.
"Psst! Zanka, it's me" a beat passed. Nothing.
You knocked rapidly once more. "C'mon zanka! Open up!" A few moments later, a groan came out from the other side. Then the door swung open, there stood Zanka Nijiku, looking irritated and half asleep. The back of his dark blonde hair sticking out in different directions like exclamation points.
"What the hell are ya' doin' here in the middle of the night?"
You smiled at him, shaking the bottle of wine and beer in your hands. At that very moment, his sleepy pertinence was immediately replaced with exasperation. Running a hand through his face, Zanka opened the door for you to come inside â you were grinning as you do so.
Placing the drinks on his table, you rummaged through his cabinet for any hidden snacks to munch on while drinking. Zanka watches you hard before inevitably helping you find snacks. His hand lingered a second more with every brush of your fingers, a rosy tint showing on the knuckles with every morsel of contact. He hoped that you don't notice. And you never do. Too busy thinking about having alcohol in your system to numb the painful yearning sensation in your heart for the man beside you.
You grabbed the drinks from the table and plopped down on the floor, your back leaning on his bed. Zanka loomed over you, his features being illuminated with the warm golden glow of his bedside lamp.
"We could get into trouble cause' of this ya' know?" He mumbled, but despite his hesitation in fear of getting reprimanded by Enjin, he still sat down beside you. Placing the snacks into a bowl that he got from his cabinet.
"I know, but we're almost adults anyways, you're turning 18 next month. Besides, how would they even know? I'm not gonna be tellingâŚunless you are?"
Cold was the can of beer on your hands as you popped it open, looking at Zanka through your eyelashes. Daring him to tell Enjin about your little stunt. He decided against it, shaking his head in defeat. Despite you being the complete epitome of everything his upbringing went against âimpulsive, chaotic, and mischievousâHe could never say no to you, no matter how much he tried.
"Have ya' even drank before?" Zanka raises an eyebrow at you, accepting the can of beer, precipitation rolling down his fingers and onto the floor.
"No, but thereâs a first time for everything. How about you? Oh waitâlet me guessâŚ" you take a swig of the cold beverage, scrunching your nose at the taste.
How in the sphere does Enjin even enjoy drinking this? You thought to yourself.
"you haven't because it ruins your discipline and all that jazz?" You teasingly poked at his sides as he circled the rim of his can.
"âŚI have, actually"
That stunned you into silence â for the first time since you've known each other. Your jaw slightly ajar from shock. Who knew the ever so disciplined Zanka Nijiku has indulged in drinking.
Letting out a smug and satisfied huff of air from your reaction. Zanka took a sip at his can, noting the bitterness and slight nutty notes of it on his tongue.
"Wait, for real!? W-when? How? You're not just fucking with me right?"
Resting his arm on his upright knee, he studies your face; the way your eyelashes flutter in anticipation with the most soulful pair of eyes he's ever seen, full of questions, full of life. The kind that he'd get lost in for hours on end. The electrified silence stretches on, debating whether or not to give answers to them. He bit his lower lip and sighed, giving in.
"Back in the Kamuatari district, when I was still with my family, they would host these fancy ass parties for special occasions an' stuff. Of course they'd give me the role of greetin' the guests alongside my siblings."
He bit the inside of his cheek, reminiscing the faint smell of polished wood of his family estate, the twinkling brightness of the ornate lights, the buzz of mingling guests from different sectors of the hell guard as well as the leaders of different districts. It was beautiful as it was imposing.
His train of thought broke as his hand was enveloped with the warmth of yours.
"you don't have to say anything if it relates to your family, I'm fine with wondering if you were bullshitting me or not" you squeezed his hand, directing a soft smile towards him.
a warm fuzzy feeling settling in his chest at the very essence of you in front of him, your touch warming the ever present chillness within him. He huffed out a laugh.
"nahh, it's good. m' fine with talking about itâŚif its with ya'" his voice was so small at the last part you almost didn't catch it. But you did.
"hmm? what was that?"
"nothin', not important. anyways, in one of these events, I was dismissed early by my siblings an' I happened to pass by one of em' cocktail tables an' by curiosity I just nabbed a bottle and bolted straight to my room."
you snorted, a giggle escaping you, leaning into him.
"no way!" you tried to hold your snickers in.
"yes way. I ran faster than a greased pig caught on fire, ya could practically see my soul' leavin' my body with regret." That sent you over, toppling into him with giggles and snorts at the mental image of a younger zankaânaive, stuck up, and obedientâ clutching a bottle of wine while he reprimanded himself for even attempting his little stunt.
"Then what happened? Did you get caught?"
Zanka smiled, the warm fuzzy feeling in his chest growing with every laugh you let out. Feigning deep thought, he let out a snort himself. Amused at the memory of his younger self.
"Nahh, I drank the entire bottle' by myself and got so hungover the next day they thought I was sick with trash toxins."
He popped open the bottle of wine, pouring the deep maroon liquid into a tall glass he acquired from his little storage cabinet. Handing you the drink.
"Try this, it's much up to yer' taste than a can of beer."
You looked back and forth thoughtfully from the glass to the can in your hands, deciding whether to be picky and just take the glass or to be adaptable and just raw dog the can. You chose the latter, downing the entire thing in one go.
"Whoa! Hey!" Zanka bolted upright from his leaning position, patting your back as you sputtered out a cough. After the fits calmed down, you grabbed the wine still in Zanka's hand and proceeded to chug half of it, leaving you in a hiccupy state.
"UghhhâŚis it just me or is the world kinda trippy right now?" You croaked out, several hiccups leaving your lungs.
"Yeah no shit dumbass, ya' just guzzled an entire can of beer an' half of your wine in seconds. I'd be surprised if ya' aren't drunk!" He tried to take the glass from you, leaving you to whine and clutch the glass to your chest.
"NooooâŚhicâI'm not even tipsy."
"Well you obviously are, and I'm confiscatin' that" In a flash, he seized it from you as you yelped in protest.
You huff in frustration. "At least drink some of it, I bought it here for you y'know"
"If I drink my glass, will you please sober up? You'll get a nasty hangover if ya' continue like this"
You nod enthusiastically, letting out a frantic "mhmm!" as your cheeks flushed from the alcohol on your system. Everything around you seemed more colorful, more saturated. Even with just the dim golden light of the lamp. Maybe it was the booze⌠or maybe it was just because of the presence of Zanka beside you, warming you in ways that felt feverish, either way you smile with glee as he mirrors your actionsâchugging the beer following with the wine and grabbing a handful of chips.
He sways slightly on himself. Blinking hard to clear his vision.
"Okay...now sober up" he grumble, setting the glass down on the floor.
Your lips quirked upward, pouring the remaining contents of the bottle into the glass Zanka just put down. "I'll sober upâŚafter I finish this bottle!"
Zanka stared at you, clearly unimpressed even in the state of intoxication. Then he exhaled, lamenting the very heavy and painful hangover he's sure you both are going to have tomorrow. He makes a mental note to head to the infirmary to ask Eishia for some pain relievers and electrolytes juice for you in the morning.
â
The two of you went on to finish the bottle of wine, munching on the snacks afterward while you two rambled about random shit well into the night. Before you knew it, you were leaning your head onto his shoulder, while he was slowly tracing his finger back and forth on the length and edges of your hands, leaving goosebumps in its wake.
"Wow! look at the moon, it's so moony and luminous!" You rambled, pointing to the source of the soft light.
"Thatâs my fucking bed lamp"
"Oh..âŚwell it looks like the moon. YâknowâŚyou remind me of the moon zan-zan"
He hummed, gaze lingering soft at your features. "Oh yeah? Why is that?"
"It shines so bright even when it disappears over the brilliance of the sun, but that doesn't make it any less beautiful or meaningful. And despite its craters and flaws, that makes it even more pulchritudinous. And y'know how the moon goes into different phases?"
"Mhmm" He answers, thoughtfully. Looking at you so intenselyâfully listening, his attention all on you as if you were to disappear the moment he averts his gazeâthat you almost choke on your saliva.
"It goes through a cycle of phases, but each one is just as mesmerizing as the last. Heck! It even has a phase where it disappears completely from the naked human eye, but despite thinking that it's not there, that its glow has dimmed; Itâs still there! In the night sky, it's radiance still persevering, even when no one notices it, even when it seems invisibleâŚit's still shining bright."
The more you babbled on about the moon and how it correlates to Zanka, the more flushed your skin becomes, it might be from the alcohol, or it might be from your passionate introspective observational ramblings. Whatever the case may be, you have Zanka absolutely mesmerized by the mere sight of you, even more so with how deeply you just yapped about your observations on him.
"Wow⌠that'sââŚthat's very perceptive of ya'...y'know sometimes I wished that I could go into your mind to know every little thing about what it is yer' thinking of in the moment" he admits, eyes now facing downward on your hand in his lapâthe one he's been playing with for the past hourâface slightly painted in a rosy hue.
This time, it was your turn to hum in thoughtful agreement. The traces of his hand leaving lingering tingles on yours.
"Mind letting me into yours then? What're you thinking of right now Zanka?"
You turned your hand over, letting him trace the palmar creases within it. He studied it for a long time, like he was trying to memorize every fold and line.
"I can't say what I'm thinkin' about right now, cause' you'll think it's the booze speakin'" he mumbled against your hair, voice soft and faint, like it was meant to be heard by you and you alone.
"What do they say in weddings? Speak now or forever hold you peace."
"So we're doing vows now are we?" he smiled into your hair.
You weakly smack his thigh, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "All I'm saying is that you should speak whatâs on your mind right now, or forever wish that you did"
"âŚit's a bit silly...sometimesâwell, it's frequentâI'll think about how I'm just average, the best in a room full of the worst and the worst of the best, that I'm not even worth someone's time. But when ya' look at me, I start to think that maybe, just maybe, I'm worth something." He buries his face into his hands, throwing out his every thought that had anything to do with the very essence of you. This time, you were the one to look at him with intensity.
"Ya' see pass all of my walls that I put up an' it's fuckin' scary cause' I don' even know how ya' do itâŚand I wanna be able to do that to ya' too...an' I donât even know where to beginâŚI wanna be able to learn every about ya' soâŚso bad"
"Then show me"
"Huh?" He looks up from his hand to see you leaning into him, your faces mere inches away from each other you could hear him gulp. The warmth of your breathe tickling his lips.
"Show me how you want to learn everything about me Zanka Nijiku"
With those words leaving your lips, he closes the distance between you two. Your soft lips meeting his slightly chapped ones. It starts out gentle, mouth closed and featherlight. Then it turns desperate and hungry. Your body moved on its own, straddling him. Your hands curl around the soft roots of his hair as he trails his hands under your shirt, pulling you in impossibly close to him. Tiny goosebumps forming all over your body from how good it felt to be held by him.
When you both pull back, his pupils are blown wide, ragged breathes escaping him, his hair tousled, and his face burning up. Your foreheads touched as you both tried to catch your breathes.
"We shouldn't be doing thisâŚtell me to stop, please...tell me to stop" Zanka, ever so disciplined and responsible Zanka, was now begging you to tell him to stop, while looking absolutely depraved from the first taste of you.
He was panting now, rubbing his cheek into the crook of your neck, little noises of pleads and whining slipping from his throat.
"If I kiss you againâŚIâI don't know If I can even stop"
With that, you grabbed his face, looking absolutely ruined yourself. The warm and tingling sensation in your tummy increasing tenfold as Zanka looked up at you with his pathetic ocean blue eyes. Tears threatening to spill out.
"FuckâpleaseâŚdon't stop"
Then he's on you again, carnal with the way that he uses his mouth on you, but tender in the way that he holds you. Worshipping and roaming his hands around your body, feeling every inch of where he could get his fingers on. Mapping you in his mind, immortalizing the sounds you let out inside his memories.
When you both let go, both of you were sporting flushed faces while catching your breath. Clinging to each other, his face nuzzling into the crook of your throat. You shivered as his fingers were drawing circles at the small of your back, causing him to smile into your neck.
"Are you okay? Was I okay?" He mumbled.
"Better than okay, you kissed me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever"
â Additional A/n: I was gonna be evil and make a part 2 where reader wakes up and forgets the things that transpired the night before but zanka remembers every single detail and debates on whether or not to tell them about it, but I decided to spare you guys the angst. lmk if you guys want that tho, lots of love.
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enjin's never been the type to stay past whatâs convenient, and you're the first girl who makes him hesitate at the door. for once in his life, leaving doesnât feel like the right move.
tags âď¸ frat!enjin, fem!reader, college au, he's lowkey an asshole but redeems himself, enemies (if you SQUINT) to situationship to lovers, some very suggestive parts, pretty light angst with a happy ending, he uses a lot of pet names, plus a lot of swearing, reader has a strong personality/sense of self, mentions of recreational drug use and drinking, the tiniest bit of violence, not beta read
wc âď¸ 14.2k
a/n âď¸ if you saw me post this fic earlier this morning and then proceed to take it back downâŚno you didn't. lets get you back to bed grandma. anywayssss, happy valentines day everyone! i saw someone post something a bit ago about enjin needing the frat!jo treatmentâŚso here's my first work to branch out into the fandom hehe. i know it's a total 180 from what i usually write (and my first fic outside of the l&ds fandom), but i had so much fun making this!! i hope you enjoy reading it just as much as i enjoyed writing it <33
The partyâs already out of control.
Some kid launches himself off the beer pong table and completely eats shit. Enjin watches him crash; and Augustâs the only one cheering and hyping him up for making a fool of himself.
He looks over at Gris, sprawled next to him on the couch, still working on the same drink heâs had since the party started. They watch the house unravel in real time.
âSwear theyâre gonna get the cops called,â Gris says.
Enjin shakes his head. âWeâve got an hour till we get busted.â
Someoneâs yelling from the bathroom about a person passed outâpossibly dead? Possibly needing narcan?
Gris gives him a look.
Enjin exhales. âOkay. Forty-five minutes.â
The bass rattles the walls like the house might give up, and someone stumbles past the couch sloshing beer onto the floor. Enjin shifts his feet to avoid itâthen freezes.
âHold up.â
Youâre by the kitchen, caught in the spill of cheap LED lights. You tilt your head, hair slipping over one shoulder as you laugh at table flip boy curled up and crying on the ground. Glitter clings to your hair and skin, the rhinestones on your top catch every flicker of color the lights give. Low-rise jeans, bare collarbones, glossy lips.Â
Enjins sold.
He nudges Gris with his knee. âWho is that?â
Gris follows his line of sight and squints. âHer? Ohâyeah⌠Sheâs in my eight a.m.â
He watches you move and sparkle, letting out a low whistle under his breath. âJesus.â
âDonât.â
âSheâs hot.â
Your head tips back as you drink, throat working, gloss shining with liquor on your lips. He doesnât even try to hide the way heâs staring. âIâm gonna go talk to her.â
Gris laughs, patting his back. âYou have fun with that.â Enjin stands, sitting his drink down and rolling his shoulders like this is just another Friday nightâbecause it is. âCâmon. Iâve pulled harder.â
âYeah, man. Iâm sure.â
He doesnât hear him. Heâs already weaving through the crowd, confidence locked in, 100% convinced this is about to be another easy as hell win.
He stops in front of you with a smooth smile.
âHey, mama.â
You snap your head around. Oh great, of courseâitâs that guy. Campus womanizer. Certified asshole. Enjin.
Itâs hard not to know who he is. His name floats through the ladies on campus like a bright red and flashing warning labelâpassed around in group chats, whispered in bathrooms, dropped mid-story with a donât do it! More girls than you can count have slept with him, and none of them came out unscathed. Even fewer have anything nice to say after.
Heâs basically the face of hisâunfortunately this fratâeven without an exec title. They know exactly who theyâre selling to: hot chicks and underclassmen guys desperate to rush whatever looks coolest.Â
Either you wanna fuck him, or you wanna be him. Doesnât matter the gender, he has sex appeal that applies to all. How inclusive of him!
And yeah. As much as you hate it, you can see why. Blonde hair always pushed back and messy like he just ran a hand through it, piercings, tattoos wrapping his arms and disappearing under his shirt like thereâs plenty more youâre not seeing (there is, youâve seen more than enough of his shirtless gym photos). Sharp but pretty eyes, and a face that hits before you can stop yourself.
But youâve heard enough. The stories about the mixed signals, no text backs, the way he treats attention like a game and women like placeholders. That alone is enough to have you back away and run for the hills.
Youâre not stupid.
Your response to his unwelcome presence is immediate. âWhat.â
He squares his shoulders like heâs warming up for a mating dance, and his grin turns lazy. âDamn thatâs cold. I was just saying hey.â
âYeah, I heard you.â You roll your eyes. âFuck off.â
âFeistyâthats my bad. Didnât mean to scare you.â
Still isnât leaving. How nice! You have the ever so unfortunate pleasure of being tonightâs diamond.
You down whateverâs left in your drink and drop it to the floor, where it joins the sticky corral of crushed cans. You look back at him, eyebrow raisedâyou done yet? Apparently not, since he takes this as encouragement. Enjin leans against the wall, crossing his arms and trying to flex his biceps. Ugh.
He leans in, âYou always this mean, or am I just lucky?â
âLucky.âÂ
âSee, I like a girl with attitude.â
âThatâs nice dude,â You glance past him, scanning for your friends. âBut I donât think I remember asking.â Something shifts in his expressionâinterest firing up, big ego kicking in. He steps a little closer, lowering his voice like thatâs supposed to work. âLemme get you another drink.â
âAnd let you spike it? Thatâs gonna be a hard pass.â
He laughs at that one. âAw, câmon, pretty girl. You really think Iâm like that?â
You just tap a finger to your chin, fake it for a second like youâre weighing the evidenceâthen shrug. You spin on your heel to leave.
He goes to call out after you. âYo, wait a secââ
You glance back over your shoulder, flash him a quick smileâ
Then flip him off and keep walking.
Enjin turns to look at the couch where Gris is posted up, whoâs mid-laugh and already coughing into his fist like he knew exactly how that was gonna go. Enjin laughs with him, dropping back down next to him and sprawling out like he didnât just eat shit with you five seconds ago. Arms tuck behind his head, looking way too pleased with himself.
âYou look real proud for a guy who just got curved,â Gris passes him his drink back. He takes it and chugs like itâs water. âNah. Sheâll crack.â
âYou hear yourself?â
Enjin just grins, tipping his head back against the couch and settling in again.Â
Most girls laugh at his corny jokes, or soften when he smiles and leans in with low lidded eyes. He is the king of seduction after all. Or at least pause long enough to let him work. You, however, didn't hesitate. Didnât even give him a single second to adjust, and zero to work with. Just flipped him off and disappeared back into the crowd like he was nothing.
But he has the determination of a soldier and the ego of a dirtbag. Which suddenly makes him want you so bad itâs almost funny.
He reaches up, pulls the cig from behind his ear, and sparks it like the nightâs still going exactly according to plan. Takes a slow drag, eyes drifting back across the room to where youâre now dancing with your friends.
Youâre not checking to see if heâs watching, and you certainly donât care if he is.
Enjin hums. Heâs already thinking aheadârunning into you on campus, catching you between classes, seeing if youâre just as feisty sober. He doesnât need it to happen tonight. Heâs patient when he wants to be.
And now? He really wants to be.
Gris shakes his head. âYouâre gonna get punched one of these days.â
He exhales the smoke, smiling. âWorth it.â
~
The universe is bored and decided to mess with you.
Because somehow, some way, you didnât just end up in a class with one of his friendsâyou landed two. Which means divine intervention is clearly not on your side. If anything, whatever higher power is running this place has favorites, and Enjin is one of them. Man, how come heâs the blessed one?
You walk out of class with Semiuâyour lab partnerâto a sight that immediately spikes your blood pressure.Â
Enjin, leaning against the wall outside.
Of course.
He straightens when he sees you, grin kicking up a notch, eyes dragging over you like he chooses not to be subtle.Â
There she is!
Luck really does love him!
âYou didnât tell me you had the hottest girl on campus as your lab partner,â he says, pushing off the wall and walking toward you. âWhatâs that about? Holding out on me?âÂ
Semiu deadpans, âTry focusing on why youâre here.â
âYou owe me lunch. Last time I checked, I saved your assââ
She cuts him off with a raised hand. âUnfortunately. But I know damn well your phone works, so use it to text me next time.â
Enjin's attention slides right back to you, though to be fair it never really left. He walks backward for a step just to keep you in his line of sight. âSo,â he looks you up and down again, âis flipping people off for fun something you always do, or is that activity special and reserved for little olâ me?â
You donât answer, and that only makes him smile wider.
âOh, come on,â he teases. âYou canât act like we werenât having a moment.â
âI think youâre schizo.â Your voice is flat. God, does he know how to shut up?
âI call it like I feel it, sweet girl. Eye contact, hand gesturesâyou canât deny we have some mad energy.â
Semiu cuts him off again. âYou done? Weâve got plans.â Enjinâs eyes flick between the two of you, and something clicks into place. He has to stop himself from smiling too hard. No way. This is easier than anything heâd planned to find you again.
âOh,â he says, slow and amused. âI see.â You donât like that tone. At all.
âSo this is girl time?â You donât even get to blink before heâs beside you, completely uninvited. âI can crash. Iâm free.â
âNo,â you snap immediately.
âRelax, mama.â His hands slide into the pocket of his hoodie. âIâm not gonna bite. Unless you ask.âÂ
âWhere we headed?â he asks, already strolling lazily at your side.
What Enjin doesnât expect is the library.
You and Semiu slide straight into work mode, laptops out and talking over each other about a lab report about biology or something.
Yeah, alright. Fine. He can do a library, heâs not above it. And if sitting around for an hour while you drone on about science means getting into your pants, then whatever. Heâs done worse for less.
A man's gotta do what heâs gotta do.
Not to mention youâre a nice view. You look different nowâeven better, somehow. At the party everything on you was glitter and sparkles (which is hot, donât get him wrong), but this is quieter. Your hairâs tucked behind your ear while you focus on your laptop, the glow from the screen and the library lights catching your face in a way the fratâs dim lighting never did. Sweater, sweatpants, bare minimum effortâand still, itâs working on him.
Shit, he thinks. Sheâs actually really pretty.
Though he prides himself on his conditional patience, he canât help but get boredâshifting in his chair and asking you questions every ten minutes.
âSo whatâs your major?â
One word.
âGot a boyfriend?â
A look that could kill.
âWhat do you do for fun?â
A shrug.
He even throws out the good olâ fashioned, âCome here often?â like it might land this time. It doesnât.
He sighs, taps his fingers on the table, and continues to watch youâand itâs really starting to piss you off.
âYou donât have to be here,â you point towards the door. âExits that way.â
Enjin just grins, leaning back like heâs perfectly comfortable right where he is now that youâve properly acknowledged him. âNah,â he says. âIâm good.â
âIâm done anyway,â Semiu snaps her laptop shut. âWe can finish this after lecture on Thursday.â She points at Enjin. âWhere you will not be.â
He leans toward you, grin already loading. âWherever she is, I am.â You physically recoil. âEw. Gross. Back up.â
Semiu slings her bag over her shoulder. âBe careful,â she says. âItâs cold out tonight.â
âThanks. I will.â You smile at her.
Enjin watches you stand, eyes narrowing just a bit. âYou walking?â Your smile falls, turning into a scoff. âNo. Iâm teleporting.â
Semiu doesnât even wait for a responseâjust gives you a look that says good luck and disappears toward the elevator. Internally, youâre begging her to come back. How did she pack up that fast? Is teleporting actually real? Can she teach you, so you can avoid him?
âI can drive you.â His voice is like nails on a chalkboard. Your head snaps over to him. âHell no.â
âCâmon,â Enjin is already grabbing his keys off the table. âItâs late. I donât want you walking.â
âThatâs not your problem.â
âIt is now, itâs dark.â
âStill no.â
âAnd itâs lateâand getting colder.â
âYou donât even know where I live.â
âIâll learn.â
You stop walking just to glare at him. âWhy are you like this?â
He shrugs, almost sheepish, but not really. âBecause I donât want anything bad happening to you.â
âTry again.â
âOkay, because I like you?â
âWrong answer.â
âIâm seriousâIâll take you home, I can behave.â
âI said noââ You push the door open and the cold hits immediately, straight through your clothes. You stop short, breath catching, instantly regretting everything.
Enjin steps out behind you, hoodie already half-off, holding it out like he planned the weather himself. You stare ahead for a long second, jaw tight. Then you exhale.
âYou can drive me.â
He nods. âCalled it.â
âEnjin, say one more word and Iâm walking.â
âYes, maâam.â He mimes zipping his lips, then opens the passenger door and makes a whole production of ushering you in like heâs a chauffeur. âSo,â Heâs behind the wheel, hands planted like heâs about to take off, âwhere to?â
You stare out the windshield. âPull out and turn left. Iâll tell you.â
âCan I get your address?â
You laugh once. âFuck no.â
He takes that in stride. Lets you pick the musicâbecause he knows girls like that, likes watching them scroll and decide. You cue something up.
It makes him pause.
ââŚI havenât met anyone else who listens to this guy.â
You look at him, actually surprised. Not what you pegged him for. Against your will, a smile slips out. The first one directed towards him. âReally? Heâs one of my favorites.â
âThat so?â he says, keeping his eyes on the road like he promised, but failing to hide the way he lights up just a little at your pretty smile. A few minutes later, âStop here.â
He hits the brakes. âWhat?â
âIâll get out here.â
He looks around, whistles. âDamn. Big house.â Youâre already opening the door. âNo. I live down the street.â Something flashes across his faceâpure panic. Did he mess up? Say something wrong? He tried so hard to be on his best behavior. Itâs so obvious it makes you laugh.
âDude,â you're laughing now (but only at his expense), âyour face. I just said Iâm walking, not calling you a slur.â
He blinks. âButâwhy?â
âI told you I wasnât giving you my address.â
âBabe, itâs cold.â
âItâs less than a block.â
He rubs a hand over his jaw, contemplating. âCan I get repayment for driving you?â
You narrow your eyes. âI didnât realize this was transactional.â
âEither I drop you in your driveway and walk you to your door like a gentlemanââ
âAbsolutely not.â
ââor,â he continues smoothly, âyou repay me.â
âGod, you men. Fine. What do you want?â
His grin is all teeth and confidence. âA date.â
You scoff. âAbsolutely the hell not.â
âThen get back in,â he says, nodding toward the street. âWhich oneâs your place?â
You stare at him, exhausted. Four hours. Thatâs all it took for him to completely derail your night. And stillâthere is no universe where he learns where you sleep.
You drag your hands down your face. âWhen and where?â
He hands you his phone, contacts app already open. âDonât worry your pretty head. Thatâs for me to figure out, and you to show up for.â
âYouâre insufferable, you know that?â
You slam the door shut before he can say anything else.
~
First of all: giving him your number was a terrible idea. A catastrophic one. You shouldâve gotten a burner phone. Or a fake number. Anything.
For someone with an aggressively busy social life, Enjin somehow has an insane amount of time to blow up your phone. You donât even know how one man has this much to say, but apparently texting you about every thought that crosses his mind is now a daily ritual. Nonstop.
No matter how many times you leave him on read, he just keeps on going.
A picture of food he swears youâd likeâsent.
Updates about his classâsent.Â
Something dumb one of his frat brothers saidâsent.Â
A sunset photo with almost as pretty as you ;)âunfortunately, sent.
You donât respond. You donât encourage it. And you are not asking for updates.
Doesnât matter.
Because if thereâs one thing Enjin has, itâs determination.
Second: Okay, listen, you really didnât have high hopes for this date.
Likeâcome on. Heâs a slutty frat boy. How inspired could this possibly be? You were fully braced for the worst: an invite over for âa movieâ (sure), you showing up to him shirtless in gray sweats, maybe a blunt passed over before he scrolls Netflix for thirty seconds and picks the first thing that pops up.
Twenty minutes inâif youâre being generousâthe movieâs forgotten. So are the sweats.
You tell yourself all of this while getting ready, mostly as preparation. He didnât even give you a dress code. Didnât give you anything, actually. No hints. No context. Just a time. Meeting him at eight oâclock on the sidewalk down the block from your place.
Thatâs it.
So when he shows up fully clothedâproperly clothedâand borderline dressed nice while holding actual flowers?
You just stand there for a second, genuinely appalled. You certainly didnât expect a well-thought-out plan.
But Enjin didnât plan on half-assing this.
If he was gonna win you over, he was gonna do it right. Youâre stubborn. You might even hate his guts a little. But youâre also a womanâand women love effort, whether they want to or not.
So he actually cleans up. Red sweaterâthe expensive one by his standards. Black slacks. Boots. His nice pair, not the ones thatâve seen too many party floors. He checks his reflection twice before leaving, grabs flowers on the way because yeah, duh.
He takes you to this hole-in-the-wall place firstâone youâve never heard of, which already earns him a point (good start!). You end up in the back corner, tucked into a booth against a wall thatâs been completely claimed by past customersâlayers of Sharpie notes, doodles, dates, half-legible confessions. The two of you try to decode the inside jokes scattered about. The foodâs good and the live bandâs low and warm.
You really enjoy it.
You even kind of enjoy him.
When heâs not being a flirtatious menace, heâs⌠Fine? Funny, even. He gets a few real laughs out of you, and you donât immediately try to take them back. If even Semiu can stand being friends with him, then maybeâin some distant, alternate realityâyou could see yourself tolerating him too.
Maybe.
He asks about you. Starts with the surface stuffâwhere youâre from, why you picked this schoolâand the follow-ups too. He listens when you answer, and doesnât interrupt. When you talk about your friends, your family, the things you really care about, he stays with it.
Youâre animated nowâhands moving as you talk, eyes lighting up as you donât think for once to guard every word against him. He sits back and lets you keep goingâhe really wants you to keep going.
Enjinâs still doing everything he can not to spook you, youâre still a feral cat and heâs trying not to get bit (not like heâd mind it though, heâs a freak like that).
He ends the night by taking you to a park with benches lined up along the edge, overlooking the city. You step up to the railing and stop short.
âOh my god,â you gasp. âIâve never seen it like this before. Itâs so big!â
The city stretches out in front of you, lights blinking and glowing, your hair whipping around in the wind. You start pointing things out without even thinkingârandom buildings, little landmarks you recognize. The night you and your friends got so drunk you tried convincing strangers at Taco Bell that the earth was flat. The building with the mural where you knew the artists, so they let you paint a couple flowers along the edge.
âThose flowers were yours?â he asks.
You nod, grinning wide. âYup. All me.â
âThat explains why they looked a little messed up.â
You smack his shoulder, laughing. He doesnât mind your sass and annoyance, but he likes this version of you a lotâthe bright one, the storyteller, the you when youâre letting your guard down.
You quiet down after a while, eyes fixed on the skyline. The wind hums, the city moves, and for once the silence isnât pointed. Itâs not you ignoring him or him pushing for more.
âIâm guessing you like the view?â
Heâs still looking out at the city, not at youâand you take the chance to look at him instead. His face is softer like this. Calm and stripped of the usual arrogance. It suits him much better.
âYeah,â you breathe.
You wonder just how many girls heâs taken on dates like this, or even brought them here. How many of them ever made it past a night like thisâpast the charm, the effort, and the gestures. How many even got a date in the first place?
A shiver runs down your spine at the thought.
âCold?â Enjin can already see the goosebumps on your skin, the way you clench your jaw just enough to keep your teeth from chattering. You shrug. âEh. A bit.â
He doesnât have anything extra to give you this time, so instead he slips an arm around your shoulders. Itâs a move heâs pulled countless times, but you perfectly fit against him. Youâre all nice and soft.
Normally, this is where heâd start drawing lazy circles on your shoulder, then letting his hand trail down your back, settling at your waist. Heâd brush your hair away from your neck, lean in close, murmur something low and suggestiveâWanna get out of here?âand that would be that.
But he doesnât do any of it. Part of him knows it wouldnât work on you anywayâheâd just earn a fist to the jaw. But more than that, he doesnât really want to. He likes this. The quiet. The city humming below. The way youâre warm under his arm.
You donât push him away either, which surprises him. You stiffen for a second, just barely, then relaxâleaning into him the smallest amount. His body heat cuts through the cold, and you take it without comment. Youâll take what you can get. And he smells goodâspicy cologne, clean laundry, the faint lingering trace of cigarettes.
He drives you home and you stop him at the same spot as beforeâthough not without some whining on his end.
âThanks for tonight,â he says.
You raise an eyebrow and laugh. âShouldnât I be the one saying that?â
âIâm just glad you actually showed up instead of ghosting my ass.â
âI tried to.â
Enjin leans forward across the console, pushing his luck now that youâre already halfway out the door, hand on the handle. âSo,â his voice is hopeful and obnoxious, âdo I get a goodnight kiss?â
There it is. The arrogance, right on cue.
You scoff. âCâmon, Enjin. You were so well-behaved tonight, too.â
âHey,â he says, grinning, âI can be a good dog. So whereâs my treat?â
âYouâre so gross.â
âPlease, ma?â A dramatic pout. âJust one kiss. Short nâ sweet.â
âNo.â
He sighs, finally leaning back in his seat. âIâll get you next time.â
âThere will be no next time,â youâre already shutting the door. âI donât owe you anymore.â
âNext time!â he calls through the glass, voice muffled.
You walk away shaking your headâand you hate that youâre smiling.
~
A giant, obnoxiously loud, extravagant bouquet is waiting on your desk at 7:50 a.m.
It is far too early for this shit. Be so for real.
Tied to it with a ribbon is a note:
Could next time be today after your classes? âEnjin âĄ
You feel someone looking at you. Well, a lot of people are. Gris is fully side-eyeing you from his seat, and you immediately glare at him. He winces, flashing you an apologetic smile.
You and Gris have followed each other since freshman year. Youâve seen the party photosâEnjin throwing up fours, Gris holding up beers. Both of their pages are basically a highlight reel of the two of them. Same energy, same circlesâexcept Gris lacks the aggressive arrogance and proud douchebag streak that Enjin wears like a badge of honor.
You know who put the bouquet there.
Pulling out your phone, you snap a photo.
You:wtf is this
He responds immediately.
asshole :/you like them?
You:no! everyone in my class is staring at me now
pretty sure they think my mom died or something
You:oh great i think my professor is about to give me her condolences
iâm going to need them after dealing with your bitchass
You:also how am i supposed to carry these to the rest of my classes today
asshole :/iâll come get them after your class then
iâll give them back when i see you later
You:do not come to my class. i will carry them.
also iâm not hanging out with you later
You:enjin DO NOT COME TO MY CLASS
asshole :/<3
Much to your dismay, heâs waiting outside at 9:45 on the dot.
Heâs leaning against the wall with Gris, mid-conversation. You take this as an opportunity to try and speed-walk past them, ducking your head like that might help.
It does not. Not when youâre holding a bouquet roughly three times the size of your head. Youâre impossible to missâand Enjin is downright delighted watching you try.
Just as you almost slip by, he reaches out and grabs your sleeve, tugging you back. You stumble straight into his side, and heâs quick to loop an arm around your shoulders.
You reflexively hunch in on yourself, attempting to hide behind the flowers. Because reallyâwhatâs worse? Being seen as Enjinâs girl of the month (which was already far longer than what any other girl got), or getting stared at like youâre auditioning for a botanical garden exhibit? 100% both at once.
Enjin can feel the heat coming off you, pure irritation bundled under his arm. A sane person might back offâ
But heâs not sane. What was it he thought again? Oh yeahâheâs a freak like that.
âGris,â he says, gesturing to you like heâs presenting a prize, âhave I introduced you to this sexy lady?â
âI think youâre forgetting we just walked out of the same class.â Gris nods at you, polite smile in place. âBut hey.â
âLucky motherfucker, wish I got to see this pretty face first thing every morningââ
You shove the bouquet straight up into his face. He chokes, coughing and sputtering as petals go everywhere. He snatches the flowers from you before you can do it again, then smoothly pivots the two of you away from Gris, already steering you down the hall.
Youâre groaning and whining trapped in Enjins grasp. âIâve got class in like fifteen minutes. Can you please let go?â
He doesnât. Instead, the two of you fall into another one of many quick back-and-forthsâhim trying to angle for when he can see you again, you shutting it down every time. Tonight? No. Tomorrow? No. Heâs annoyingly amused by all of it.
âWhat about Friday?â he asks, finally. âYou gonna be at the party?â
âIn your dreams, lover boy.â
Enjin smirks like heâs heard something else entirely. âOh,â he adds, holding the bouquet out toward you. âWhen should I give you these?â
You glance at the flowersâcrushed, bent, a little worse for wear thanks to being shoved into his face. âNever. Theyâre mangled.â
He sighs dramatically, plucking a single flower from the bunch and holding it out. âFine. Just one.â
âYouâre impossible.â
But you snatch it from his hand anyways and finally shake his arm off, shooting him a warning look as you break away toward your building.
~
For the first time in his life, Enjin is bored at a party.
Heâs standing in the kitchen, leaning against the counter while August yells next to him about some cheap starter clothing line heâs been working on. Whoever heâs talking to looks trapped, nodding along like theyâre waiting for an exit that isnât coming.
Folloânice kid, Grisâs littleâstands on his other side gripping his beer so hard his knuckles are going white. Still learning how these things work. Gris isnât even here. Off being responsible, staying in to work on a project. Lame.
Normally, this wouldnât bother him. Heâs a social butterflyâcould talk up a wall if he felt like it. Parties usually entertain him.
So why is he so bored out of his goddamn mind?
He downs another drink, chases it with a cigarette.
âI thought you couldnât smoke inside the houseââ Follo starts. Enjin claps a hand on his shoulder. âRight. You canât smoke inside the house. But this is my house.â
Follo opens his mouth, then thinks better of it.
Thenâfinallyâa blonde wedges herself between him and August like sheâs been waiting for the opening. If he looks down heâs seeing straight down her shirtâher lashes bat up at him like she knows the script. He knows it just as well.Â
Enjin smirks as she presses in close. He doesnât say a wordâjust slides an arm around her hip, pulls her in and turns them so sheâs backed against the counter and there's no room left for Christ. She laughs, breathy, tilting her head and leaning into him. Mid-motionâhis eyes drift.
Past her shoulder, out the kitchen window and to the back patio.
You.
The blonde keeps smiling up at him, oblivious and waiting. Clearly expecting him to either fuck her there or at least take her upstairs. He does neither.
Instead, he pulls away just as quickly as he pulled her in, leaving her standing there high nâ dry.Â
Youâre standing by yourself on the patio, blunt balanced between two fingers in one hand, drink in the other. Your friends have fully abandoned you. Girl code was apparently optional tonightâhow dare they leave you alone at a frat where youâre very aware youâre being actively hunted by your biggest problem.
You hear him before you see him.
âAm I dreaming, or is that really you?â
Dammit.
He strolls up and youâre caught off guard by the look on his face. He looks genuinely happy. Like seeing you here just fixed something thatâd been off all night.
It surprises him too. The fact that heâs excited just to see youâno alternative motives with an endgame in mind. Thatâs new.
You look insane. Hair done, eyes smoked out, shirt doing very little to help his focus, bangles clinking every time you lift your wrist for a hit or a sip. Heâs pretty sure youâre the most attractive person here. Maybe the most attractive person heâs ever seen (which is saying something, heâs seen a lot of girls).
âYouâre dreaming,â your voice is better music than the DJ could ever play. âAnd youâre gonna be late for class. Wakey wakey!â
Enjin laughs, leans in, presses a quick kiss to your temple. âYou look really good, babe.â
You freezeâjust for a literal milisecondâand he takes advantage of the moment to laugh and swipe the blunt from your fingers. He takes a drag while you smack his arm and snap something at him, already annoyed.
When he pulls it away, he notices the lipstick mark on the paper.
Thatâs hot.
âYâknow,â he teases, âthat was kind of an indirect kiss.â You scoff and laugh at the same time. âWhat are you, twelve?â
âClose enough.â
You wince, playful. âI donât know if thisâll work then. I donât really fuck with younger guys.â
Now, heâs talked to you enoughâagainst your will, unfortunatelyâto know exactly how much he can push. He lifts an arm, resting it against the railing behind you, close enough that his side brushes yours. âReally? And whatâs this?â
You pause, mouth opening, closingâcoming up empty.
That hesitation only makes him bolder. Your smartass mouth has finally run out of ammo.
He leans in, close enough that you can smell the weed and alcohol on his breath, the cigarette smoke clinging to his clothes, his cologne youâve come to enjoy underneath it all.
âIâm grown,â he murmurs. âSo you gonna fuck with me?â
Heâs so close now itâs dizzying.
The seltzers you slammed earlier thrum in your head, tangled with the high and how close he isâhow hot he suddenly feels. Was he always like this? Your gaze drops to the soft skin where his neck meets his shoulder, the ink that decorates it.Â
Enjin is insufferable. The campus fuckboy. But dear god in the heavens above did he so look good. He thinks you look better.
You swallow. âDo you wanna dance?â
The smile that spreads across his face is slow and satisfied.
Heâs won.
Grabbing his hand and dragging him inside, you bring him straight into the heat of itâbodies packed tight, bass rattling ribs, air thick with sweat and smoke. You pass the blonde who was all over him earlierâsheâs already moved on, grinding on someone else in the corner.
You let go of his hand without looking back and slip into the center of the crowd, hips rolling naturally with the beat. The open back of your top calls his name, and his gaze drags down the length of you without shame.
Fuck.
You donât look backâjust lift one hand and curl a finger, commanding.
Heâs on you immediately.
You keep your back to him as he closes the distance, chest to spine, hips fitting into yours. One of his hands settles at your waistâthe other slides lower, rougher, fingers digging in.
Reaching back, you scrape your nails down the buzzed undercut at his nape. You feel him shiver behind you, sucking in a sharp breath like you punched it out of him.
Slowly, you guide him down until his mouth is near your neck. Breathing you in, his lips barely brush your skinâa ghost of a touch that sends heat straight through you. You move together and itâs downright filthy, bodies slick with sweat and hips grinding to a song neither of you are really paying attention to. His grip tightens, then loosens, like heâs trying to keep some sort of control not to fuck you right there on the middle of the floor.
Heâs a known vice, but with the way youâve got him hypnotized with the scent of your perfume alone combined with your body against hisâheâs almost convinced the tables have turned.
Maybe youâd won.
Youâre fully aware this is a decision youâre going to regret in the morningâwhen the hangxiety hits like a truck and your head feels like itâs splitting in two. But right now youâre not exactly thinking straight, and honestly? If sleeping with him means heâll finally leave you aloneâmaybe even walk away satisfied with getting some of the best dick on campusâthen youâll deal with the consequences later.
Neither of you is sure how long youâve been dancingâminutes, hours, something in betweenâbut eventually whatever restraint you had left in you finally snaps. You turn to face him, giving him that look. The one heâs seen plenty of times before. But seeing it on your face hits different. Way different. It looks unreal on you.
Sliding one hand up his chest, you feel the heat there alongside his racing heartâwhile the other wraps around his bicep, solid muscle flexing under your grip. The sensation sends something hot straight through you, pooling low in between your thighs and making your mouth water.
You hook a finger into the chain at his neck and tug him down just enough to meet your eyes.
âDo you want your kiss?â
You donât even get a chance to blink before youâre in a dark hallway, away from everything else. The only things around are the dim lights and a few unlucky stragglers slumped over on the floorâpeople who didnât quite make it to the bathroom before the night caught up to them.
Enjin gives you no time to think before he slams you into the wall, his mouth crashing into yours with a low groan. The kiss is messy and hungryâall teeth and tongue, no patience at all. Heâs vocal and grabbyâhands everywhere, panting into your mouth as he grabs at whatever he can reach.
He never stops moving against you, grinding in desperation for more friction, and you whine into the kiss, instinctively chasing his hips to match him.
One of his hands slips under your shirt, groping your tit, while the other tangles in your hairâyanking your head to the side so he can drag his mouth down your neck with hot, wet, open mouth kisses.
You gasp at the contact, breath stuttering, and before you can stop yourself you whine his name out loud.
The sound of it makes his heart kick up hard. He wants to hear you say his name againâwants it repeated, pulled out of you like a mantra. Itâs one of the best sounds heâs ever heard.
The way youâre pressed beneath him, fingers fisted in his shirt. The feel of your lips, the taste of youâitâs nothing like anything heâs known or felt before. Heâs solely thinking about the nearest room he can get you into to fuck you dumbâwhen a thought cuts through everything else.
Not like this.
It stops him short. Makes the devil on his shoulderâthe one thatâs always winningâstart shouting obscenities in protest.
Not like this. He doesnât want it to happen this way.
And he doesnât know why. This is what heâs wanted from the start, isnât it? So why does it suddenly feel wrong to take it like this?
He pulls back and really looks at youâlips swollen, eyes glassy, breath still uneven. You already look fucked out and so beautiful it hurts his heart and his dick
âThe bathroomâs over there,â you pant, barely getting the words out.
He averts his eyes. âNo.â
âOkay⌠isnât there a bedroom upstairsââ
âNot gonna happen.â
Your brow furrows. âArenât you gonna fuck me?â
His answer is already written all over his face, and it makes your heart sink. Panic creeps in fast and unwarranted. What did you do to make the campus hooker of all people stop short? Heâd sleep with anyone with a pussyâso what about you made him hesitate?
He finally looks back over, and the sight of your face hits him square in the chest. You look crushed. Like a kicked puppy. When you mumble, âDid I do something wrong?â itâs quiet enough to almost break him.
âOh my god, no.â He shakes his head hard. âNoâthe opposite, actually. Fuck, ma, please donât look at me like that.â He drags a hand through his hair, exhales sharply through his teeth, like heâs trying to get control of something thatâs already spiraling.
âThis isnât a you thing, you didnât mess anything up.â
Youâre still watching him, trying to decode what changed.
He exhales. âIâm just not doing it here. Thatâs all.â
Enjinâs eyes flick over your face like heâs checking somethingâmaking sure youâre okay, or at least not hurt.
âIâm not backing out,â he adds quickly, like he doesnât want you filling in the silence yourself. âI justââ He stops, jaw tightening, then shrugs. âThis isnât how I wanna do it.â
He kisses you againâslower this time, and gentle. Your mouths fit together stupidly well, the same way you felt tucked under his arm.
You pull away first.
He licks his lips, like heâs trying to hang onto the taste of you. âYou good?â he asks.
You nod, hands dropping from his shirt as you give him space. He steps back fully, then smooths your hair, tucking a loose strand behind your ear. âWant me to walk you home?â
You shake your head, say youâll call a friend. The answer shouldnât matter. It shouldnât smack him the way it does. Where did that come from? Youâre just some chick.
You turn to leave. Make it a few steps before he speaks again.
âHey.â
You pause, look back at him. âIâll text you,â he promises. âOkay?â
You nod once and disappear back into the crowd.
And suddenlyâeven with bodies everywhere, music shaking the floor and the house still alive as ever âeverything feels empty without you standing there.
He doesnât text right away. Tries not to think about it. He doesnât usually do stuff like that, texts back and everything.
Later that night, once heâs home and the adrenalineâs finally worn off, he gives in.
asshole :/you get home alright?
Read 3:47 a.m.
~
Enjinâs a chronic ghoster. Itâs one of his specialities, a defining trait that comes with his package (in every way that matters). Heâs never really seen the point in keeping up conversation once he gets what he wants. Everyone knows how it works. If a girl expects more, thatâs on her.
What heâs not used to is being ghosted.
Text after text goes out to you, all of them met with nothing. At some point you either turned your read receipts off or stopped opening his messages altogether. At first, heâs offended. Like⌠What? This is his move. Heâs the one who disappears. Not the other way around.
But it doesnât sit right with him. Because beforeâeven when you were displeased with his existenceâyouâd still send something back. A snarky remark, a dry response. Now itâs radio silence. Thatâs when it starts to get uncomfortable.
He tells himself youâre probably pissed he didnât sleep with you. People donât love getting turned down, especially when they didnât see it coming. And yeah, it probably doesnât help that a guy with his background suddenly decided to stop things.
Still⌠it feels like more than that.
If heâs being honestâjust a littleâit didnât look great. And if he wants you talking to him again (which, begrudgingly, he does), he should maybe clear the air. Say something that isnât a joke or a half-assed text.
Problem is, that would mean admitting he hesitatedâand even if heâs not fully sure why, he knows thatâs not something heâs good at explaining.
But to his own surprise, he misses you bad.
So instead of overthinking itâor owning up to anythingâhe goes with what he knows.
The second lecture ends, Gris is already at your seat while youâre packing up.
âListen,â he grimaces like this is physically painful for him, âcan you just text him back?â
You snort. âWhatâs he got on you?â
He exhales through his nose and pauses, clearly choosing his battles.
âI donât wanna do this any more than you wanna talk to him,â he admits. âBut Iâd really like him off my ass sooner rather than later.â
âOh good,â you stand abruptly, slinging your bag over your shoulder. âAt least heâs on someoneâs ass.â
You start to put your earbuds in. Gris gently catches your wrist before you can. âWhen it comes to women, Enjinâs a piece of shit. And yeahâI know youâre embarrassed. Anyone would be.â
You click your tongue.
âBut,â he continues, âI donât think Iâve ever seen him like this. Not with a girl.â He shrugs. âIâm not saying it means anything, and Iâm definitely not trying to hype him upâbut heâs been real worked up. And Iâm tired of listening to him bitch every time you leave him on delivered.â
You stare at him for a second.
ââŚYouâre really selling this,â you deadpan.
âJustâthink about it?â
Later that night, youâre home, staring at your phone and your thumb hovers over his contact. The last thing he sent was from last nightâa photo of him at some chapter meeting, looking exhausted and another message complaining about them still trying to rope him onto exec next semester.
Itâs not one of his usual selfies. Heâs just got droopy eyes and messy hair, tie loosened with the top buttons undone. You can see the dip between his throat and collarbones.
Which is unfortunate.
Because now youâre thinking about the party. About having your mouth right there. About the way his lips felt against your own neck, his hands hot and insistent on your skin.
You groan, toss your phone onto the couch, grab the nearest throw pillow and scream into it.Â
Earlier, youâd screenshotted the text and sent it to Semiuâbecause if youâre gonna spiral, you might as well involve Enjinâs own people. She replies almost immediately.
coolest lab partner
weird he sent that and not a dick pic
You ask what she means.
She sends back a shrug emoji. Great!
So he bailed on sleeping with you andâaccording to both of his best friendsâis now acting differently with you than he does with other girls. Which means what, exactly?
This whole thing is just straight offensive. He crawled six feet up your ass trying to charm his way into your bed, only to bail the second things got close. After you let him get close, no less. Dropped the bitch act, let your guard downâand apparently that was the dealbreaker. Maybe the rumors are true and he really canât stand needy women.
Exceptâhe did say another time. He rainchecked your hookup.
Who does that? Certainly not men like him.
And yet here you are, staring at your phone, wondering when the hell that became your problem.
Youâre still annoyed, still stewingâbut at this point youâre out of pride to lose. You open his messages again and, after a long pause, react to the photo with a thumbs down.
You donât even get a full minute before your phone starts ringing.
Asshole :/
The audacity! You answer anyway.
âShe speaks!â Enjinâs joyful voice comes through the phone.
âSay shit like that and Iâm hanging up.â
He draws out a dramatic, wounded, âNoooâI didnât mean it like that! Donât go, I missed hearing your pretty voice.â You scoff. âWhy did you call?â
âBecause you texted me and confirmed you donât hate me.â
âI sent you a thumbs down.â
âHey,â he says, voices echoing faintly in the background, âafter days of nothing? Iâll take it.â You turn the volume up and sink back into the couch. âYou sound busy.â
âNah. Never too busy for you, mama.â A pause, some shuffling. âJust got a few guys over.â Someone shouts something unintelligible. Then Gris, unmistakable even through the mufflingâ
âHeâs got his girl on the phone.â
Enjin doesnât correct him. âIâll be right back,â he tells them. More movement, then a door closes, and itâs quieter now.
âHey,â his voice is softer this time. You tilt your head to stare at the ceiling. âHi.â
âAm I allowed to say Iâm sorry?â
âWhy wouldnât you be?â
He exhales a small laugh. âI dunno.â
Silence stretches. Then, âIâm sorry.â
You sort through the million things you could say. You land on one. âFor what?â
âThe other night.â
âWhat about it?â you say. âNothing happened.â
âCâmon,â he replies gently. âLet me make it up to you.â
You hum, noncommittal. Actually fucking me this time would be a good place to start.
âLet me see you again, baby. Please?â His voice is hopeful. âIâll be good, promise. Iâll take you anywhereâyour pick.â
You sigh. âDo you do this with all the girls you fuck up with,â you ask, turning his own words back on him, âor am I just special?â
Silence. Special isnât a word he uses.
ââŚSpecial.â
~
You let him see you again.
A lot, actually. More than you meant to.
You canât deny you started enjoying his presence, mostly because it became clear his advances werenât leading anywhere any time soon. It stopped feeling like he was hovering around just to get something out of you. Sometimes it actually felt like he just liked just being around you.
He took you out constantlyâplaces you already loved, places youâd never heard of. He even let you plan things sometimes: random craft afternoons at the park, wandering the mall for no reason. Before long, it became routine for him to grab you after class and drag you off to lunch, or sit with you while you studied (even if you bitched about it the first few times).
What started as him trying to win your attention back slowly turned into the two of you just finding excuses to spend time together. Sometimes that meant going out, sometimes it meant doing absolutely nothingâjust sitting in his car at night, passing a joint back and forth while music played low through the speakers as you talked about anything and everything.
"Do you think dihydrogen monoxide should be allowed into the water supply?"
âWhat the hell are you saying to me right nowââ
Enjin, surprisingly, was capable of being decent. His presence started to feel like it was somewhere between homeboy and something far too similar to boyfriend.
You knew better than to ask questions, though. Honestly, you werenât even sure you wanted the answer. You were hanging out all the time, hovering somewhere between friendship and something more, and the space in between felt way too uncertain to risk asking the worst question.
What are we?
The first time he kissed you again after the party happened late one night at his place (you still never let him come to yours).
Heâd somehow convinced you to bake with him, which felt far too domestic for whatever the two of you were doing. Youâd rolled your eyes, complained about it the entire drive over, but still showed up. By then, heâd officially worked his way onto your good side, and it was getting harder to say noâespecially when he asked the way he did, all soft smiles and pleases.
Your shared playlist hummed quietly through the speaker in his kitchen while you stood side by side mixing cookie dough, arguing over measurements you werenât really following anyway. At some point, without warning, he grabbed your hands and pulled you into the middle of the floor.
âHey!â you laughed, nearly losing your balance as he started swaying you to the music. âI donât really think this kind of dancing goes with a Journey song.â
He spun you around. âTrust me, you can dance to anything if you try hard enough.âÂ
You giggled harder, flour dusting both of your clothes, and when he dipped youâoverdramatic, barely coordinatedâyou reached up and wiped the streak of flour off his cheek with your thumb. It was painfully clichĂŠ.
You looked up at him while smiling wide with bright eyes, and something in his chest tightened in a way he didnât quite know how to deal with. He found himself thinking, almost absently, that he wanted so many more nights like thisâmore of the simple, stupid, warm moments that had nothing to do with anything else.
But he was just as afraid of that question as you were.
He lifted you up onto the counter, stepping between your knees, laughing as you tried to shove him away. He kissed youâsoft at first, then again, and again, scattered across your cheek, your jaw, the corner of your mouthâjust to hear you laugh louder.
It slowly turned into kissing you hello and kissing you goodbye, picking you up and spinning you around every time he saw you. He was always showing up exactly when you needed him, always ready before you even had to ask. He was at your beck and call.
Favorite soda when he picked you up? Already waiting in the cupholder, along with whatever candy youâd mentioned liking once weeks ago. Sitting through hours of your favorite show just so you could ramble about theories and plotlinesâeven though it bored him half to death. Heâd still sit there, nodding along, way more focused on watching your lips move and the way your face lit up when you got excited than anything happening on the screen. He loved listening to the way your mind worked.
Enjin was almost the polar opposite of the guy he used to be, and the strangest part was that he didnât even notice it happening. He was so caught up in you that everything else started to feel like background noise. In the few months youâd been hanging out, he had become wrapped around your finger.
Youâd been introduced to all his friendsâsomething he never wouldâve even considered doing before. Girls usually came and went in a single night, never sticking around long enough for introductions to matter. There was never a reason to blur those lines.
But you were different. You were around all the time now, folded into his circle until it felt like youâd always been there. His friends liked you, you liked them, and before long it didnât even feel like you were âEnjinâs guestâ anymoreâyou were just part of the group.
Hell, August even put you on the Instagram page for his clothing brand, insisting you were the best model heâd had so far. Enjin had pretended not to care, but he definitely saved the post.
He was constantly on your own mind now, showing up in the smallest moments. When you passed a place the two of you had eaten at, when a song from your shared playlist came on, when you caught yourself reaching for your phone to text him something dumb before you even thought about it.Â
One night in particular, you were completely, horrifically shitfaced after going out with your friends. Likeâsitting on the curb outside the bar, blinking slow because the world wouldnât stop spinning, kind of drunk. Your legs were bare, freezing in the night air, feet aching from shoes youâd long since kicked off somewhere, head floating three seconds behind your body.
All you could think about was Enjin. He was always so warm.
You didnât even remember calling him.
He picked up almost instantly. âTo what do I owe the honor of hearing from you, beautiful? Thought you were out tonight.â
âEnjiinnââ you slurred, dragging his name out, swaying slightly where you sat. Hearing his voice somehow made your head feel even fuzzier. âMiss you sâmuch.â
He paused. âBaby, how drunk are you?â
âNooo⌠mâ not drunk.â you said, then immediately giggled. âWell. Maybe a lilâ. Tiny bit. Like⌠microscopic. Thatâs a big wordâŚâ
âAre your friends with you?â
âYesss⌠they were⌠theyâre waiting for the UberâŚâ You turned your head slowly, squinting into the street lights. âWait. Where did my friends goâŚ?â
âWhere are you?â
âMmm⌠I dunnoâŚâ you hummed, words running together. âHave I ever told you how handsome you are? Like⌠soo handsome. Iâm gonna eat you up.â
He laughed softly. âYou can eat me up when I get you. Where are you, ma?â
You blinked hard, trying to focus on the street sign above you. âThink itâs the bar on South Street. Maybe.â A pause. âMaybe not. I dunno. I canât really⌠see right now.â You started giggling again, shoulders shaking. âEverythingâs blurry.â
He muttered something under his breath, then came back louder. âStay exactly where you are, okay? Donât move. Iâm coming to get you.â
Not that moving was really an option anywayâyou were already half-curled on the curb, phone clutched to your ear.Â
Somehow, some way, he found you.
When his car pulled up, you gasped like he just performed a miracle.
âMy handsome boy!â you squeal the second he steps out, delight all over your face while worry was written all over his. The compliment makes his cheeks warm despite himself. You were always extra affectionate when you were drunkâclingy and sweet in a way he certainly didnât think he deserved.
You try to stand so you can run to him, but your knees wobble immediately. You barely make it two steps before you start tipping forwardâonly for him to catch you, hands landing firmly around your waist.
âYouâre so strong,â you murmur, leaning into him without hesitation. âThatâs so hot.â
He laughs under his breath, steadying you as he guides you toward the car while you keep rambling nonsense into his shoulder. âYouâre like⌠my knight nâ shining armor. Always saving me.â
âYeah?â he says, opening the passenger door.
He helps you slide into the seat, making sure your legs are tucked in before stepping back. âAnything for you, princess.â
âI like that. Say it again.â
He leans down, presses a quick kiss to the crown of your head. âMy princess.â
You grin, already melting into the seat. âYeah⌠thatâs gonna do it.â
Unfortunately, Enjin still doesnât know where you live, so the next best option is bringing you back to his place.
âWhy does my apartment look different?â you mumble. âI really gotta fix the feng shui in hereâŚâ
He laughs quietly, guiding you down the hall and into his room before handing you one of his shirts and a pair of pajama pants. âCan I trust you to dress yourself?â
âYouâre not gonna help me?â Leaning forward, you dip just enough that your dress shifts lower than it should. âI think youâd kill me in the morning if you found out,â he says, unimpressed but definitely not unaffected.
âMm⌠but me right now wants you to help me.â
He shakes his head, gently steering you toward the bathroom. âGo get changed. Iâll stand outside the door in case you fall and bust your ass.â
Normally, Enjin wouldâve jumped at the opportunity. You did look way too goodâwouldâve unzipped the back of your dress slow, let his mouth trail down your spine, dropped to his knees before you even realized what was happeningâ
He runs a hand through his hair and exhales hard, forcing the thought away while he waits outside the door, doing his best to keep it together.
But it takes every ounce of restraint in his body not to lose it at the sight of you in his clothes. Especially with how his shirt hangs off youâway too big, collar slipping just enough to expose your shoulder the tiniest bit.
You flop face-first onto his bed, already half-asleep, and he tries to gently roll you over and tuck you in the right way. He turns to leaveâplanning to grab a blanket and crash on the couchâwhen your hand suddenly shoots out and grabs his arm, yanking him down with you.
Damn, he thinks. Sheâs strong.
âWoahââ is all he manages before youâre climbing over him, straddling his lap. Your lips find his neck, messy and unfocused kisses trailing along his jawâa guttural groan slips out before he can stop it when your hips grind down against his. His hands instinctively land on your thighs, gripping like heâs trying to hold onto what little self-control he has left.
You whine his name all needy, and he shuts his eyes for a secondâbecause fuck, that sound does something to him.
âNghâhey, câmon now,â he gently tried to guide your face away, hands cupping your cheeks.
You pout. âPlease, Enjin⌠wanâ you so badâŚâ
Yeah, the feelingâs mutual. But even heâs not enough of an asshole to take advantage of you like this.
âShh. I know,â he says, pressing his thumb lightly to your lips to quiet youâonly for you to lazily suck it into your mouth. His breath catches, hips thrusting up before he can stop himself, and he curses under his breath when you smirk, clearly proud of yourself.
He shakes his head, grabbing your waist instead. âDonât do this to me. Weâre not doing this right now.â
âYou donât like meâŚâ
âYouâre dramatic. And drunk.â
You give a sleepy little hmph before collapsing forward, laying across his chestâstill very much straddling him. He tries to move you, tries to tuck you back under the covers, but you groan and cling tighter, arms locking around him like a koala.
âYou gotta go to bed, ma.â
âI am,â you whisper. âRight here. Womp womp.â
He sighs, giving up, arms settling around you instead. His hand drifts to the back of your head, gently smoothing your hair, and it doesnât take long before your breathing slows and evens out.
Heâs stuck now.
Which means heâs sleeping here tooâsomething heâs never done. Sleeping in the same bed as a girl always felt way too intimate, too personal. Either they left, or he did.
But right now, thereâs nowhere else he wants to be anyway.
~
Youâd started showing up to almost all of their parties, only skipping when you had academic responsibilities (as Enjin called them) to deal with.
âYou gotta stop being so smart,â He would complain, flopping back dramatically whenever you told him you couldnât come. âIâm gonna be bored without you.â
Things got weirdly dull when you werenât around. He could hang with the guys, drink, laugh, do the same stuff they always didâbut sooner or later heâd catch himself wondering where you were, what you were doing, whether you were already home or still out somewhere.
The guys gave him endless shit for it tooâthe campus fuckboy suddenly acting whipped over a girl. Most of the time he just laughed and ignored them. But every once in a while it stuck in his head, and Enjin thinking too hard about things was never a good sign.
Heâs sat up on the couch playing makeshift poker with a deck of half-bent cards and a pile of spare change in the middle of the table. It kept him busy enoughâmostly because the guys around him were getting increasingly pissed every time he won another round.
Follo tossed his cards down. âNah, thatâs insane. Again?â Enjin didnât even look up, just dragged the winnings toward his pile. âYou guys are just predictable.â
âYou donât even know the rules.â
âNeither do you,â He shot back. âSo relax.â
Gris leans back in his chair, squinting at the table. âIâm pretty sure weâre playing this wrong.â
âDoesnât matter,â Enjin shrugs. âMoneyâs still mine.â
âI swear you count cards or something.â
âIf I was counting cards, youâd already be broke.â
Follo groans, digging more coins out of his pocket. âIâm done playing after this hand. Youâre hustling us.â
âYou volunteered. Donât blame me cause you keep funding my night.â
Corvus clears his throat beside him. âPretty sure your lady just walked in.â Enjinâs head snapped up instantly, attention gone from the cards in his hands. âFollo, your wallet just got blessed. Iâm done playing.â
Follo let out a dramatic sigh of relief. âI owe her my life.â
You felt Enjin before you even spotted himâthe way his presence pulled your attention across the crowded room like a compass. You waved as you walked over. âHi, guys!â
âThe woman of the night has finally arrived,â Gris says, grinning.
âYouâre too sweet,â you coo, sliding into the open spot next to Enjin and curling against his side. His arm wrapped around you without hesitation, like it had become second nature. It didnât go unnoticedâsome of the girls lingering nearby shot you nasty looks. They came from knowing theyâd never gotten that kind of loving from him. You couldnât deny the major ego boost it gave you.
There wasnât a label on whatever this was, but you had something they didnât: his full, undivided attention. Had him locked down like a dog on a leash, and no title was needed for people to see that.
You nod toward the pile of coins and bills on the table. âSo where are you taking me with all these winnings? At least make your gambling addiction useful.â
Corvus laughs from the other side. âYou should feel honored. You just got prioritized over beer and cigarettes.â
Enjin smirks, squeezing your shoulder lightly. âI was gonna spend it on you anyway.â
You reach up and pinch Enjinâs cheek.
âCareful,â you tease, âyour egoâs getting kinda insane tonight.â He grabs your wrist with a grin, but Gris leans forward first. âWaitâwhere have you been? We thought you dipped.â
âI had to pregame with my friends, yâall start parties way too early.â
âYou missed Follo trying to manipulate the DJ. Whole house rioted.â
âOh my god, not this again.â He groans. âDude, it was one suggestion.â You perk up immediately. âWaitâwhat did you play?â
He hesitates like he knows heâs about to get jumped. ââŚThe 1975.â
âOh my god, yes.â
They all groan in unison. âIt was Somebody Else!â He tries to desperately defend himself. âItâs a good song!â
You point at him, nodding. âHeâs so right.â Gris shakes his head. âNext thing we know the whole partyâs gonna be crying in the kitchen.â
âCâmon, Follo, weâre going back up to the DJ booth,â you say, already starting to sit up. âIf I flash him, heâll play it. Trust.â
August nearly chokes laughing. âDamn straight!â
Before you can get too far, Enjin takes his arm around your waist and pulls you back down against him. âYeah, no. The entire house does not need to see your tits tonight.â
âYouâre so lameânow everyoneâs gonna miss out on a banger cause of you.â He just squeezes your waist, sticking a tongue out at you. Across the room, you spot a girl from one of your classes waving you over, already holding up a drink like an invitation.
âWhoâs that?â Enjin asks.
âFriend of mine, Iâm gonna go say hi and grab a drinkââ
As soon as youâre upright, his hands land on your hips, stopping you for a second. He looks up with an exaggerated pout. âLet me come with you.â
âIâm a big girl, I can make it,â you laugh, leaning down to press a quick kiss to his cheek. âIâll be right back, kayâ?â
He lets you go, but his eyes stay on you as you cross the room, watching you laugh at something your friend says.
âDidnât know Enjin was capable of settling down,â a voice says from the wall nearby.
He glances overâone of the regulars who hung around.
âSettling down?â Enjin takes a drag of his cigarette. âWeâre not together.â
The guy whistles low. âDamn. That pussy must be crazy then to have you acting like this.â He smirks. âIf youâre not together, you mind if I take a shot?â
Something in him goes cold fast.
âShut the fuck up.â
The guy raises his hands in mock defense, but the smug look stays. âRelax, man. Iâm just sayingâsheâs bad as hell. And if you donât have a claimââ He continues, staring off at you. âNot to mention, girls who mess with you are always easy.â
Enjin doesnât even remember standing. One second heâs sitting, the next heâs in the guyâs face.
âSay another fucking word about her.â
Corvus is behind him not even a second later, hand clamping down on his shoulder. âEnjin, you gotta back up, bro.â
Heâs seething.
Itâs stupid. It shouldnât bother him this much. Guys say dumb shit at parties all the time. Normally heâd laugh it off, maybe throw something back twice as disrespectful and move on. But the thought of that guy even looking at you like that makes something ugly crawl up his spine. The idea of anyone talking about you like youâre just another name on a listâlike the same girls he used to treat that wayâmakes his stomach churn.
He kind of hates how fast his mind jumps to it. Hates that his first instinct wasnât to laugh, but to step in front of you like he needed to protect you.
Weâre not together.
He shakes Corvusâs hand off, âIâm out.â
Enjin shoves through the crowd, shoulders knocking into people without a single apology as he forces his way outside. The night air hits his face, but it doesnât do a damn thing to cool him off. His head is still racing, thoughts coming in far too fast and far too loud.
What the hell was he doing?
This isnât who he is. Getting defensive. Getting territorial. Getting pissed over some guy talking about a girl he hasnât even properly fucked yet. Heâs had girls he has slept with treated worse than that and never cared enough to blink.
It pisses him off even more to realize how obvious what the real answer here is.
Youâd somehow gotten into his head without him noticing, rewired something that had always been simple and straightforward. For months now heâs been telling himself the same thingâyouâre just some girl. Some girl he wanted his dick in, nothing more. That was the plan. That was always the plan. He wasnât supposed to care about how you felt, or what people said about you, or whether someone else tried to make a move. You were supposed to be another name, another night, another body on his list.
Heâs had more than enough chances by now. Plenty. If this were anyone else, it wouldâve been over weeks ago. Done. Finished. Forgotten. Point blank. Instead, every time things got close, heâs the one pulling back. Slowing down. Taking his time like heâs got somewhere to be with this.
Enjinâs not even really sure who heâs mad at. Itâs not youâyou didnât do anything wrong. But the thought of himself being burned down toâwhat did that guy call it? Pussy whipped?âmakes his blood boil.
The idea of people looking at him like that, like heâs lost something, sets something off in him.Â
All of it makes him angry in generalâbut it makes him angrier on your behalf. Like youâre just some girl who finally did well enough to keep him around. Like youâre some trophy, some body that got lucky.
Like youâre just another name.
Just like you used to be to him.
But youâre not.
âHey, Enjin.â
He turns from where heâs leaning over the patio railing. The voice belongsâironically enoughâto one of the many girls heâs slept with. What was her name again? Something with an M⌠maybe.
âNot very nice of you to leave your girl all alone in there.â
He stares at her, jaw tightening. He knows exactly what sheâs doing. Fishing. Looking for something she can take back inside and whisper about. Proof that Enjinâs finally locked downâthat someone finally got him.
The angel on his shoulder tells him to ignore her. To go back inside, sit on the couch, cool off, maybe go back to playing cards.
The devilâloud and woundedâwins like he always does.
âNot my girl.â
The words feel foreign the second they leave his mouth, same way they did earlier. If you really meant nothing, he wouldnât be standing out here this pissed offâit feels like his entire mind is split down the middle. One side of him knows better, the other does not.
Her lips curl into a knowing smile. âSheâs not?â She steps closer, pressing herself against his arm, confident now. This is all the confirmation she needed. Whatever he says next doesnât even matter.
She feels wrong against himâtoo familiar in the worst way. Nothing like you.
From the kitchen window, all you catch is the exchangeâtoo quickâand then her body right up against his. A sight you recognize all too well.
What did he say to her?
The feeling hits you hard, it knocks the air straight out of your lungs. It shouldnât hurtâthis isnât new. Girls on Enjinâs arm used to be a given. But itâs been so long, and heâs been so yours.
You told yourself not to get your hopes up.
You werenât stupid.
But what were you supposed to think? For months the campus playboy went practically celibate, going months without touching anyone else. Followed you around like a lost dog, acted like your attention was the only thing he wanted.
That meant something, right? It had to. Except now it feels stupid. Stupid, naive, and straight up embarrassing.
You shouldâve known better all alongâknowing that someone like him doesnât change. That no matter how close it felt, you were always going to be nothing more than another girl to a man like Enjin.
You grab the drink you came into the kitchen for and slam it back. Then another. Then one more for good measure.
You push your way onto the dance floor and just move. Move to the rhythm. Focus on the music. Donât think about what you saw outside. Donât think about the past few months, about how you let your guard down because he triedâbecause he kept showing up. Donât think about how small you suddenly feel, how you trusted him and he took it like a thief.
Take, take, take. Thatâs all he ever does, isnât it?
So why did he give you so much in return just to strip it all away?
The bodies around you start to feel too packed in. The walls feel like theyâre closing in, the music too loud, the voices louder. Youâre dizzy now, unsteady, and everything starts blending together until you canât tell where one room ends and the next begins.
You stumble back until you hit a wall, the cold of it pressing into your spine as the bass vibrates through the speakers behind it. You try to take deep breaths, force your head to level out.
Blacking out is a mindset. Lock in.
âYou good?â
The voice isnât familiar. Neither is the face attached to itâthough you canât really make him out anyway.
âWhat?â
âI asked if you were good,â he says, louder this time.
Blinking, you try to focus. Something about him feels off. You canât place it, but you feel it all the same. âYeah. Iâm fine.â You try to move away, aim for the bathroom or literally anywhere else.
âWoah, where you goinâ?â Heâs suddenly there, blocking you before your brain can catch up.
âIâm gonna find my friends.â
You move. He moves too.
You glance around for help, for someoneâanyoneâbut youâre met with nothing. You realize youâre alone in that exact same hallway as before.
Fuck.
âHey, just talk to me for a bit,â heâs leaning in and crowding your space, making it harder to breathe.
âListen, you gotta leave me aloneââ you snap, pushing at him, disgust flashing across your face as you try to get away.
His arm wraps around you from behind, fingers digging into your thighsâand before you can even process it, before you can kick or scream, heâs gone.
Ripped off you.
Enjinâs fist connects with the guyâs nose, blood spraying instantly. The guy barely gets a hit inâjust enough to bruise laterâbefore Enjin swings again, clean and brutal, knocking him out cold.
His chest is heaving. Heâs seeing red. The same guy from earlier. Talking about you like that. Touching you like that.
Enjin looks down at the body, laughs under his breath and spits. âDamn,â he mutters. âHeâs gonna be out for a bit.â Then he turns to you, face wild. âDonât tell Corvus, okay?â
But the second he really looks at youâyour face pale, eyes wideâhe stops.
âHey,â he says, softer now. âYou alright?â He steps toward you, ready to pull you in, to ground you somehow.
You step back.
His brow furrows. Shit. Did he scare you?
âWhat the fuck is your problem?â you scream.
Confusion flashes across his face. You used to like it when he played knight in shining armor. Being his princess. âAw, maââif I freaked you out, Iâm sorry.â
You snort.
âYou couldâve just pulled him off. Told him to leave. Not try to kill him.â
Heâs used to your jabs, your snark, the looksâbut this? The real anger in your eyes? Itâs new and he doesnât like it one bit.
âYou didnât find it hot?â he tries, desperate to crack the tension. A bad joke. A last resort.
âAre you on some shit?â you spit.
Yeah. Didnât land.
You sigh, rubbing your face. âSo did you come find me after you got bored outside?â
He freezes.
Oh. You saw her.
You mustâve left before you saw him push her off. Before he went looking for you. If heâd just stayed by your side, none of this wouldâve happened.
He opens his mouth, but you cut him off.
âWhat is it you wanted, Enjin?â
His face was pure confusion, âWhat I wantedâŚ?â
âYou never slept with me,â you say. âisnât that your thing? Being the campus hooker?â
âIâm sorry?â he says carefully, biting back everything else.
âNo,â you stop him, hand raised. âIâm sorry.â
You swallow hard. Youâre not crying. Not here. Not in front of him.
âIâm sorry I thought you could change. Sorry I believed the effort meant something. Youâre a really good actor, you know that?â
Your shoulders sag. âThatâs on me, Enjin.â
Then, quieterââBut you didnât deny I was your girl. You let me crash at your place. Hell, you slept in bed with me. We both know you donât do that.â A broken laugh slips out. âYou just beat the shit out of that guy for me.â
You slide down the wall, burying your face in your hands.
âEnjin,â you whisper. âWhat did you really want?â
âYou,â he says.
âWhat part of me?â
Silence.
âRight.â You stand. âIce your eye. And your fist.â
âHeyâwaitââ
You walk away.
He doesnât chase you.
What did he want?
You. He wanted you.
At first, he wanted to fuck. That was it. So when did that stop being the point? When did he start caring more about making you smile than getting you into his bed? About listening instead of talking? About spoiling youâabout being the first person you talked to in the morning and the last one at night?
Because youâre you. Smart. Kind. Funny. Curious. A mind that never stops moving. Beautiful, sureâdevastatingly soâbut it was never just that. It was everything underneath that pulled him in, made him want to crawl inside your head and heart and stay there.
It stopped being about wanting youâand became about wanting to be yours.
~
You give him zero openings this time.
Blocked his number. Blocked him on every social media platform you can think ofâhell, even Roblox caught a stray. You start leaving classes early or showing up late just to avoid him lingering outside like he used to. You stop going to the places you know he learned by heart, because the last thing you need is running into him somewhere that used to feel safe.
But he sure does try!
At first itâs the usual stuffâhaving his friends reach out like middlemen because, as far as anyone can tell, youâve straight-up vanished. They pass along gifts on his behalf. You toss every single one. (Okayâfine. You read the notes first. But they make you cry, so sometimes you set one or two on fire for dramatic closure.)
He even tries to figure out your new schedule, the one you very intentionally built just to dodge him. That doesnât work either. Youâd completely outplayed him, and for once, Enjin doesnât know what move to make next.
Well⌠almost!
âAugust,â Enjinâs dead serious, halfway to begging. âYou dropped the clothes off for her to model at her place. I need the address.â
August doesnât even look up from his cricut. âNah, man! But hella appreciate the enthusiasm!â
âIâm not joking,â He presses. âThis is the love of my life on the line here. Future mother of my children.â
âThought you hated kids,â Semiu mutters from the corner.
âMind your damn business.â
August finally swivels around in his chair, eyebrows raised. âThe love of your life? Thatâs insane coming from you!â
âExactly!â Enjin says, desperate now. âWhich is why I need you to drop the address. So I can be a better man and fix things.â
At this point, nothing feels off-limits to him. Morals? Flexible! Boundaries? Super negotiable. If seeing you again means showing up at the one place you never wanted him to knowâyeah, heâd do it. He wasnât above breaking and entering.
You, on the other hand, want nothing to do with him.
The farther away you are, the easier it is to convince yourself this whole situationship was just a waste of time. That sitting around hurting over it would only steal more days off the clock of your life.
Besidesâthinking about him still pulls too much out of you. Hurt. Anger. Bitterness. And, annoyingly, yearning.
You miss him like hell. Like a bitch.
And every time you catch yourself spiraling over it, you turn the water cold in the shower and give yourself a look in the mirror like, Get it together girl!
So when he shows up at your door out of nowhere, it takes everything in you not to either strangle him or kiss him stupid.
âYouâre actually batshit,â you say flatly, arms crossed, foot tapping. âHow did you even get my address?â
âI have my ways.â He tries to smirk, but it barely lasts a second. He looks miserableâexhausted, hollowed out. You glare at him, and he caves almost immediately. âAugust,â he admits.
You mutter something about having to move now, about getting on Zillow, and start to shut the door in his face. His foot catches it.
âBaby, listen to me.â
âNo thanks.â You shove harder, very intentionally trying to crush his toes.
âHeyâowâcan you at least let me apologize?â
âYou can take your apology and shove it up your ass.â
You kick his foot out and finally slam the door.
âWill you please be my girlfriend?â
Itâs muffled through the wood, but it lands anyway. Clear as day. You freeze as he leans his forehead against the door, letting out a shaky breath.
âYeah, at first I was just trying to fuck you. Iâll be deadass about that.â
You snort despite yourself.
âBut,â he continues, fingers fidgeting with the handle, âI loved you the first night I took you out. When you were staring at the city like it was brand new. You looked so free. And you kept telling me stories about yourself, I just remember thinking I wanted to hear a lot more of thatâand that I wanted to be in themâ
He lets out a short, embarrassed laugh. âItâs cheesy, I know. But I kept saying no because I didnât want to sleep with you yet. I didnât want you to think that was all you ever were to meâdidnât want you thinking that was the only thing I cared about.â
You open the door, and seeing your face almost knocks the wind out of him.
âSo Iâm sorry,â he says, softer now. âFor making you think I hadnât changed. Iâve wanted to change for you this whole timeâit just took me too long to realize. And I didnât know how to do it without fucking it up.â
âWhatever,â you shrug, eyes averted. âItâs fine. I guess.â
But the smile creeping onto your face gives you away.
âCan I come in?â
âSince you already probably have the longitude and latitude memorized, yeah.â
Enjinâs face breaks out into a wide smile the second you step aside, all teeth and crinkled eyes like he just won the lottery. You barely get the door halfway shut before heâs pulling you into him, arms wrapping tight around your shoulders and waist in a hug.
âAghâdude, let go, I canât breatheââ
He only squeezes you tighter, rocking you side to side like youâre something he almost lost (he definitely did). He presses kisses all over the top of your head, your hair, your temple. You shove at his chest half-heartedly, but youâre not really trying that hard.
You missed this. Him.
âDo you accept my apology?â he mumbles into your hair.
âI already said whatever.â
âThatâs not forgiveness,â he says, pulling back just enough to look at you. âYouâre supposed to say, âOf course I accept your apology, Enjin. I love you too!ââ
âDonât get greedy.â
He retaliates by kissing all over your faceâcheek, jaw, noseâeach quick peck followed by a dramatic, âPlease?â
You canât help it. You start laughing, the kind that makes your shoulders shake. âOkay, okayâfine! I accept your apology!â
âWill you be my girlfriend?â
âYes, Enjin. I pretty much already was.â
âAnd an, I love you too?â
âGive me a bit.â
Enjin pauses for half a second like heâs considering arguingâthen just shrugs instead.
He leans in againânot rushed, not greedyâjust soft and slow, but still like his life depends on it. One hand slides to your waist, the other resting warm at your jaw as he kisses you like heâs trying to memorize it instead of steal it.Â
âIâve got all the time in the world,â he murmurs against your lips.
You fist your fingers into his shirt, suddenly very interested in the fabric instead of his face. âSo⌠are you ever gonna have sex with me?â
A grin spreads against your skin.
âYeah. Eventually.â His mouth drifts from your cheek down to your neck, unhurried. âThink Iâm gonna wait till marriage though. Show you Iâm really committed.â
You gasp dramatically. âI have to wait till marriage?â
âI canât believe youâre more upset about waiting to fuck me than me saying Iâm gonna marry you.â
youâve been in love with your best friend from high school, but buried all of your feelings to keep your friendship safe. enjin doesnât realize his own until someone else starts looking your way, and heâll do anything to be the only one in your heart.
tags ËĘâĄÉË modern/college au, frat!jin, fem!reader, best friends to lovers, she fell first he fell harder, jealous and possessive enjin, barely there zodyl and reader (two scenes at the start to push the story forward), mentions of recreational drug use and drinking, swearing, plot with porn, virgin!reader, first time p in v sex, oral (f receiving), implied size difference, mating presses, whole lotta praising, talking you through it, enjinâs a down bad softie!! he's also a biter, and uses a lot of pet names, possible dacryphilia if you squint, kind of proof read but i blacked out halfway through, not beta read
wc ËĘâĄÉË 10.3k
a/n ËĘâĄÉË did i hear someone say more frat!jinâŚ? I AM HERE TO PROVIDE! iâm not the most comfortable with writing smut, but i wanted to give it a shot. i hope it turned out alright, and i do wanna try writing it more, so be patient with me since itâs a bit rough :,) ya girl needs practice lol. not the happiest with this one but i must feed you all with more of my agenda⌠xx
Itâs the most picture perfect Saturday morning in Augustâthe sun coming in all warm and golden through the kitchen windows, the air still cool before it turns gross and sticky later, and birds singing like theyâre only there to romanticize the start of the semester. The first week of classes is over, no assignments due and no responsibilities pulling at you yet. Everything is so quiet and calm. So peaceful.
You should be in bed. Still asleep. Rotting peacefully all warm nâ cozy under your comforter.
But no.
Youâre in Enjinâs kitchen at the ass crack of dawn making this dumbass hangover remedies.
The blender kicks on and he groans from the table behind you like heâs on life support. âDoes that thing know how to be quiet?â
âEnjin.â Could he be any more dramatic? âIt's a blender.â
âOkay? They need to invent quieter ones.â
He went too hard at his fratâs opening party last night. Gris had to physically drag his barely functioning body home earlier this morning, and not even twenty minutes later he was calling you whining and all pathetic, âPlease come help me, ma'âŚâ
Were you shocked by the condition he was in? Not even a little. If anything, this is tame for an early-semester hangover. Youâve seen him way worse, like, foaming at the mouth and nonverbal. Youâre surprised he hadnât died from alcohol poisoning along the way.
Did you start bitching at him the second you walked through the door? Obviously. And did he have the nerve to squint at you and go, âBaby, can you not? My head is literally splitting,â like youâre the villain here? Yes. Which only made you double down, because the audacity of catching an attitude while youâre voluntarily providing emergency services before your internal alarm clock went off is, quite frankly, insane.
But you still got to work anyway.
You set the smoothie down in front of him, then slide over the plate of eggs and toast you made. It looks wholesome sitting next to the half-drunk Gatorade heâs been nursing since he woke up.
He stares at the plate, poking at the eggs and breaking the yolk. âI kinda thought youâd bring McDonaldâs or somethingâŚâ
You smack him upside the head and point at the food. Enjin glares at you, yet takes a bite anyway. He can whine all he wants, but heâs the one who begged you to come overânot to mention your breakfast clears a McGriddle by a mile.
Sitting across from him with your arms crossed, you yawn. You were up late tooâjust not stumbling around his frat house. You stayed in, binge-watching shows to reset your brain after getting handed all your new classes this week.
Enjin had something to say about that too, complaining about how your attendance at his frat was so important to him. But thatâs when all the crazies come out, and there was no way you were dealing with blackout freshmen puking on your shoes.
It was bad enough youâre stuck taking care of an almost-puking Enjin as it is.
He's talking, nearly spitting pieces of egg at you.
âEw, grossâdonât talk with your mouth full. I know your mom taught you better than that.â
He ignores the jab and picks up a piece of toast, holding it out toward you. âYouâre going to make a good wife someday, youâve already had plenty of practice with me.â
You snort. âI donât play wife with you, Iâm basically your maid.â
âMaid, wife. Same difference.â
âYouâre such a dick, you know that?â
Your eyes drift past him to the wall behind the kitchen table. The photos are still taped up unevenly with peeling cornersâpictures of his frat brothers, old high school friends, random blurry party shots. Then there are the ones of you two.
Prom. Graduation. One from the first time you ever hung out outside of schoolâboth of you younger, awkward, not quite this version of yourselves yet.
Youâve been best friends since high school. He was new, and you were assigned to show him around. He wasnât all that different back thenâstill sassy and observantâbut he was quieter, less sure of himself, and you were the first person who made the place feel less foreign for him.
Sometimes you think it was fate that shoved you into each otherâs lives that day, because without it, you probably wouldâve stayed in completely separate circles. You donât think you wouldâve chosen each other on purpose.
As much as you canât stand him some days, youâre inseparable. Heâsâcorny as it soundsâyour person. And if anyone asked him, heâd say youâre his too. Zero hesitation.
And if things werenât already stereotypical enough as is, youâd definitely had feelings for him at one pointâbecause who wouldnât have? Enjinâs always been a hot shot. Even as a teenager he's had that thing about him. It wasnât exactly earth shattering and shocking that you developed a crush.
You had a boyfriend when the two of you first met (sadly your first and only one, actually), which ended a bit after you and Enjin became inseparable. He said it was because of how close you were. At the time it felt crazy dramatic, but looking back, you get it. When youâre young, any attractive guy with that kind of presence feels like competition.Â
Especially one who seems to understand you better than your own boyfriend does.
And once that fell apart, you fell. Head over your damn heels. Heâs cute and funny, makes you feel important and treats you like you're his girlâjust not officially. Princess treatment before it was even a joke between you twoâto this day youâre spoiled absolutely rotten. It wasnât exactly hard to grow heart eyes.
But first and foremost, you were his best friend. That was the foundation, and always had been. And over time, that really did become enough.
It took a little while to settle into that reality, sure. But as you both grew up and matured, you realized something importantâyou didnât want to risk losing your person over feelings that might complicate everything. Being his homegirl, his ride or die, the one he calls firstâthat meant more than anything ever could.
~
One month laterâŚ
âExcuse me.â
You turn at the voice behind you.
Itâs some guy youâre pretty sure you havenât noticed in this lecture beforeâand you feel like you wouldâve remembered him. Heâs got this blank, almost drained expressionâlike he hasnât slept in weeks, which is pretty impressive considering itâs only the second week of the semester. There are faint streaks of grey in his hair too. Damn, how old is this guy?
Okay, he doesnât look old. Just like heâs lived three lives already and none of them went smoothly. Hereâs to a fourth?
âDo you have this weekâs notes?â he asks. His voice is nice, low and deep. Pretty, even. It just sounds like heâs running on a dead battery.
âYeah,â you tap your laptop. âTheyâre all on here though.â He nods once. âThatâs fine.â
Thereâs a pause. Heâs still looking at you.
âSo⌠Do you want me to email them to you, orâŚ?â
He nods again and gestures toward your laptop.
You hesitate for half a secondâbecause, hello, strangerâbut hand it over anyway.
âI feel like I havenât seen you in class before,â you say, attempting small talk while he types in his email. He doesnât look up. âIâm always in the back. I moved up a few seats because someone kept taking mine.â
âThis late in?â You let out a small laugh. âSwear some people donât understand seating rules.â
âThere are seating rules?â
âUm⌠yeah. Like, once you pick your seat the first week, everyone just collectively agrees thatâs your spot.â
He finishes typing and hands the laptop back to you. Youâre still not sure what to make of him. You glance at the email he sent it to. âZodyl⌠cool name.â
âThank you.â
You try to introduce yourself in return, but he cuts you off, âI know.â
Youâre spent thinking about that interaction for the rest of the day. Youâve met some interesting people before, but heâs definitely up there.
Later that evening, sprawled out on your floor and staring at the ceiling while Enjin lounges on your bedâyouâre rambling, replaying every second of it while he half listens, tossing in comments whenever he feels like it.
âHe kind of looks like a bug,â you say, sitting up suddenly. âWait. What if he is a bug and just hasnât figured out human interaction yet?â
Enjin hums. âSounds like youâre bug-phobic.â
âI am not! I can be accepting of bug people. He seems nice enough. Just⌠super weird.â
âMaybe he thought you were pretty. Made him nervous.â
âHe did not seem into meââ
âNah, he wanted a piece of that and short-circuited.â
You smack his leg. âShut up. Quit being an ass.â
âIâm serious!â He kicks that same hand, âGuys get weird when theyâre into someone.â
Heâs not overly concerned about this Zodyl guy, but you forming connections with random men has always made him cautious.
Enjin knows how guys are. He is oneâand youâre his girl to look out for.
âZodylâŚâ He finally looks up from his phone to glance at you on the floor. âIsnât he the one who hangs out with that super wacked-out group?â
You scoff. âArenât you one to talk.â
âI think heâs a narc. Actuallyâno. Maybe not. Pretty sure one of his friends is on drugs.â
âCan you be nice for, like, two seconds?â
âSays the girl who just called him a bug. Guess weâre both hypocrites.â
~
When you walk into class again, Zodyl is sitting in the seat next to yours. He doesnât acknowledge you when you drop your bag down and pull your chair out, just sits there facing forward like a creepy NPC in a horror game.Â
You've started unpacking your things when he speaks. âThank you for your help.â
âWithâŚ?â
âLending me your notes.â
âOh.â You remember. âYeah, no worries. Iâm glad Iâm not taking them for nothing.â
âI didnât steal anyoneâs seat.â Zodyl looks at your confused expression for a brief second before facing forward again. âThe seating rules.â He adds, a strand of hair falling near his nose in a way that feels cinematic. âNo one had been sitting here. I didnât take a seat.â
You canât help but laugh. âI mean, I wasnât filing a complaint.â
âI didnât want you to think I was inconsiderate.â
The professor starts shuffling papers at the front, and students are settling in. âDo you care if I stay here?â he asks.
You look at him properly this time. Okay, maybe he doesnât seem as strange up close. âNot at all,â you say, smiling. âMi casa es su casa.â
âWhat?â
âNever mind.â You wave it off. âYouâre welcome to sit there, Zodyl.â
After class, he hands you a piece of paper. You take it, looking confused as you glance down at it and back up at him.
He gestures toward sheet in your hand. âYour number.â
You blink. âMy phone number?â
Passing you a pen as confirmation, you think he couldâve passed you his phone insteadâbut sure. This works too.
âIf I need more help. You do well with this subject.â
âYeah, of course!â You beam at the compliment. âAlways happy to be of assistance.â You think, just for the faintest moment, there may be the slight chance of the smallest smile on his face. Or youâre crazy.
As heâs going to leave, âI like your sweater. Purple is a nice color on you.â
Later that afternoon, you burst into Enjinâs apartment without knocking. âZodyl asked for my phone number. Well, sort of. He didnât really askââ
Enjin barely reacts to the intrusionâyou do this all the timeâmid-sip of his beer.
âBug-man?â He asks, eyeing you as you pace around his kitchen.
âYes, bug-man,â youâre practically doing laps around the room. âBut heâs not actually that scary up close.â
âHe was up close?â
âHe moved to the seat next to mine. And then asked if it was okay that he stayed there.â Pause. âIt was kind of cute.â
âSo now bugs are cute?â
You grab an apple off his counter and throw it at him. âShut up, Jinâ. Iâm trying to tell you what happened.â
Enjin holds his free hand up in mock surrender. âMy bad, mama. Continue.â
Your pacing begins again, along with the rambling. âHe kept staring at me. Like, a lot. At first it was uncomfortable. Full eye contact, no blinking. I thought he was glitching.â
âSome people pay extra for that kind of attention.â
âWhat did I tell you about shutting up? Anyway, he asked for my number. Said it was for âhelp with class,â but then he complimented my sweater.â
Putting your hands on your hips, you grin at Enjin, all teeth and bright eyes. âSo now Iâm kind of flattered by the staring. Maybe you were right. Maybe he does think Iâm cute.â
Enjin tilts his head, âOf course he thinks youâre cute,â a beer is tossed to you. âIâve been saying that. Took someone long enough to catch up.â
He gestures his can towards you. âJust donât let him steal my spotlight.â
Which, unfortunately, after a few weeks, kind of started happening.
You were talking to Zodyl more. In class, obviouslyâbut outside of it too. Sure, sometimes it was about lecture stuffâhe did need help here and there. But heâd also start talking about projects he was working on, random ideas, or things he was building.
You still made time for Enjin, it wouldâve been crazy not to. The routine included being at his place constantly, or he was at yours, or you were out somewhere with the group, or at one of his parties. You saw him pretty much every day.
But now, sometimes your phone would buzz and youâd glance down mid-conversation. Or youâd cut yourself off to respond to a text. Or youâd casually bring up bug-man (the nickname stuck).
It wasnât that you had a new guy friend. Youâve always had them. You and Enjin share a huge friend groupâyouâre close with Gris, with Follo, with August and Corvusâeven the dweeb kids Zanka and Rudo that Enjin somehow adopted during his fraternity service hours at the high school. You being friends with other guys has never been new, never been weird, and never been a problem.
What was new was that this guy was clearly into you.
And, again, Enjin knows how guys are. Enjin is guys. Mr. Easy. Mr. I-know-exactly-what-theyâre-thinking-because-Iâm-thinking-it-too. So yeah, it made him stressed. Not because he thought you couldnât handle yourselfâbut because he knew how quickly things could flip. He didnât like the idea of you getting played, used, or fed some bullshit.
You were his to look out for.
At first he didnât pay much attention to Zodyl. But now? His guard was fully up, because if anyone was going to rescue you from a bad situation, it was him.
He crashed out a little when you skipped your weekly fast-food movie night to study with that⌠thing. You hadnât missed one since you started them as teenagers. Sick? Heâd just show up at yours. Busy? Youâd make it work.
But no. Here comes the cockroach, interrupting tradition.
It didnât help that Zodyl knew who he was, too. Which, okayâfair. Enjin was known campus-wide for more than a few reasons. That wasnât the shocking part. What was shocking was how much he knew.
âOkay, so heâs a narc who hangs out with a druggie and now heâs a stalker,â Enjin said at one point, throwing his hands up after you casually mention something Zodyl knew about him that felt way too specific. âHow the hell does he know about my lucky umbrella?â
You sigh, rubbing your forehead. âFirst of all, heâs not a druggie and his name is Jabberââ
âThe fuck kind of name is Jabber? Thatâs not helping his case.â
ââSecond of all,â you continue over him, âyou carry that umbrella everywhere. Even when itâs sunny. Zodyl is just observant.â
âWhy am I being observed?â Enjin demands. âAnd how does he know itâs lucky!â
He didnât like Zodyl. Not at all. And technically, he didnât even know him. Even if Zodyl somehow knew too much about him.
One time, Enjin spotted him in passing on the way to class. Decided to be mature about it for you. If this guy was going to be in your life, the least he could do was be polite.
He waved. Gave him his best smile, pearly white canines flashing in greeting. âHey, man!â
Zodyl didnât even look at him.
But Enjin had always been your number one complication when it came to men. Either he scared them offâbecause being best friends with a hot, confident guy is intimidating (see: your last boyfriend)âor he attracted the wrong ones. The kind who only got close to you because they wanted proximity to him.
Zodyl was neither. He didnât seem repelled by Enjin, and he didnât seem particularly interested in knowing him personally either. No weird fan behavior. Outside of, okay, maybe some mildly stalker-ish observational habits.
It was a nice change of paceâhaving someone who seems interested in you and not because of who youâre friends with. Even if Zodyl was kind of weird, and you could never fully get a read on what was going on in his head.
Enjin stayed cordial. For the most part. Heâd toss in a comment here and there when you brought Zodyl upânothing too serious, just enough to let you know he had opinionsâbut he never outright fought you on it. Unless it was something justified, like ditching movie night. That was so different.
Even with all his side-eyes and sarcastic remarks, he knows youâre an adult. He knows youâre not naĂŻve. If anything, he knows you too well to think youâd let yourself get played without noticing.
That doesnât mean he stops thinking about it.
Or worrying about it.
~
Follo squints at you, Semiu, and Tomme as you push your way into the kitchen. âWhat are you three supposed to be?â
Itâs Halloween, aka the biggest party of the semester. The house is so packed you can barely see the floor, just a blur of shoes and spilled drinks and strobe lights.
âWeâre kiss, marry, kill,â Semiu says, lifting the plastic knife sheâs been carrying around all night.
âThatâs basic.â
Her eyes narrow at him. âAnd what are you?â
Follo taps the crooked paper plumbob taped to a headband on his head. âIâm a Sim.â
You laugh. âBe serious.â
âI am serious.â
Semiu turns to Gris, whoâs leaning against the counter with fake blood smeared across his shirt. âAnd youâre⌠bloody Adam Sandler?â
âI didnât have time to get a costume, and the blood is from Corvus fighting for his life with Party City vampire gel. At least Iâm not dressed as a prisoner.â Gris nods toward Enjin, whoâs standing there in an orange jumpsuit. He just smirks. âIt was either Ghostface or this, and I wanted to get handcuffed.â
Semiu clicks her tongue. âOf course you do.â
Tomme glances over her shoulder. âTamsyâs somewhere in the living room as an angel.â Youâre still laughing at everyone, all the shots in your system from the pre-game making things way funnier than they are. âSo weâre all just Pinterest stereotypes tonight, letâs call it even.â
You make your way over to Enjinâs sideâlike you always doâand hold your hand out for his drink. He passes it without question. Your first instinct is to chug, then just as quickly you gag. âEw, what the hell is in this?â
âA lot,â he takes the cup back. âWe all brought different alcohol and just mixed it together. August added grenadine though, so itâs pretty much a cocktail.â
âThatâs not a cocktail. I feel like I just drank water straight from Chernobyl.â
He laughs and throws his arm around you, pulling you into his side. In a house this packed, being next to him is the best place. Heâs your designated safe spot.
âAre you supposed to be âkissâ?â he asks, poking one of the lipstick marks Semiu left on your cheek.
âWell Iâm not wearing a veil or holding a knife, am I?âÂ
âDo I get one?â Enjin puckers his lips dramatically, and you slap your hand over his mouth. âGo find someone to put you in handcuffs so I donât have to deal with you.â
âI tried, there are no cop girls here. Very disappointing.â
âShouldâve gone with Ghostface. You wouldâve gotten laid faster.â
Gris leans over Enjinâs shoulder, eyeing you. âSo. Whereâs your boyfriend?â Heat flushes your face. âHeâs not my boyfriend.â
Enjin feels something hot twist in his chest. He couldnât even get thirty minutes of standing next to you without that thing getting brought up. âHe doesnât seem like the party type anyway,â Enjinâs jaw clenches, voice tight.
âYeah, but I asked if he wanted to come anyway. He wasnât interested.â
Thank fucking God, he thinks.
And then, like clockwork, your phone lights up.
Every ounce of relief he had evaporates the second he sees the name on your screen.
âHe canât get enough of you, huh?â Follo throws in.
Enjin is actually going to punch someone.
You look down at your phone, and your lips curve softly. Your face lights up in a way that makes something in him snap. Before he even thinks about it, he snatches the phone out of your hand and lifts it above your head.
âEnjin!â you shout, jumping for it. âGive it back!â
âGet off your phone,â he holds it higher as you try to climb him. âLive in the moment.â The messages are still open. He sees the photos you sent earlierâyour costume and a selfie of your trio.
zodyl !!
You look pretty.
Have fun tonight.
His grip tightens around your phone. For a split second he considers smashing it. Instead, he locks the screen and shoves it into his pocket. âNo more phone tonight.â
âWhatever,â you shrug him off, visibly annoyed. âWhat is your problem?â
He doesnât answer.
âCâmon,â you grab Semiu and Tommeâs hands. âI wanna dance.â
You drag them away to the group of people that are dancing in the living room, but never leaving Enjinâs line of sight. He never let you at parties.
Listen, you havenât had a boyfriend since high school. Youâve never really shown much interest in dating either. So the idea of you actually having something with this guy?
The hairs on the back of his neck stand up.
Leaning back and watching you dance, Enjin decides to actually look at you. Like, really look at you. Figure out what it is thatâs suddenly pulling Zodylâs attention your way.
He starts with your face. Glitter highlight catching the lights, eyeshadow sparkling every time you turn your head. That loose, drunk smile painted in lipstick that matches the kiss prints on your cheeks and collarbones. Your hair falling in messy pieces around your face, swaying as you move.
Then lower.
The lace bra strap peeking out from under your little red dress, the fabric hugging you just right to leave very little to the imagination. His eyes trace the dip of your back. Your eyes. Your hair. Your neck. Your lips.
Your tits and ass.
You.
Oh.
Oh shit.
When did you get this hot?
He suddenly becomes hyper-aware of how you stand out from everyone else in the room.
Youâre the most attractive girl at this party. And not in a âsheâs my best friend so Iâm obligated to think thatâ kind of way.Â
Itâs a âIâve suddenly opened my eyes and realized my best friend would be more than capable of getting my dick hardâ kind of way.
Heâs never thought you were ugly, of course heâs always known youâre pretty.
Itâs justâback in high school, you were so dorky. In his head, thatâs kind of where you stayed. His silly best bud.Â
When youâve known someone that long, they sort of freeze in your mind. You stop updating the image. So heâs always seen you as that teenage girl he met freshman year.
He realizes youâre not that girl anymore. Youâre grown. Youâve been grown.
Fuck, when did that happen?
Had you always gotten this kind of attention looking like this, and he just never clocked it? How did he, of all slutty men, miss your glaring sex appeal?
Is that why all of his past lovers got so angered by you? Because youâwhoâs objectively funny, smart, and clearly very attractiveâwere his girl best friend?
He always brushed it off as jealousy over the attention. And yeah, sure, he gave you a lot of it. Now heâs starting to think that wasnât it. They werenât just annoyed, they were threatened. Just as bad as the guys who saw him with you.
You were competition.
And if he were in their shoes? Heâd feel insecure standing next to you too.
Now, knowing there are guys looking at you like that, something fires up under his skin. It doesnât feel protective anymore, not like it usually does.
It feels territorial.
Youâre his girl. Youâve always been his girlâand now there are other men looking at you?
Absolutely not.
That doesnât work for him. Thatâs never been how this goes.
~
It becomes Enjinâs number one mission to steer Zodyl away from you. Or better yet, steal you back. Not that youâd actually been taken from him, but his ego took a hit that night, and something in him shifted. Thereâs this new awareness when he looks at youâand he doesnât know what to do with it except act.
Operation: Kill The Roach.
After the party, heâs insufferable. Groaning every time your phone lights up. Rolling his eyes when you answer a call. Going dead silent the second Zodylâs name gets mentioned. Any hint of him in your sentence and Enjinâs already bitching.
âI dunno babe, I just get bad vibes. Like, he ate birds as a kid or somethinââŚâ
âBirds?!â
Youâre over it. Completely.
What used to be light teasing turns into actual arguments. Every time you say youâre going to hang out with Zodyl, itâs a fight. Every. Single. Time. He argues like itâs his job. You can see the jealousy plain as dayâitâs written all over himâbut what you donât understand is why it showed up out of nowhere. He was fine before!
You try reassuring him. Tell him heâll always be your best friend. Which, apparently, is the worst possible thing you could say. Nothing lands right anymore. You donât even know what he wants from you at this point.
You and Enjin argue sometimes. Thatâs normal. But itâs never been like this between the two of you.Â
After one particularly nasty fight, youâre sitting on his bed, laptop open, trying to focus on a paper. Heâs right beside you, silent. You can practically feel the heat radiating off himâthe tension is suffocating.
Youâre too tired to deal with it anymore.
âHey.â
You donât even look at him. âDonât start again.â
âDo you think Iâm hot?â
That makes you turn. âCome again?â
Heâs staring at you like heâs dead serious. âI asked if you think Iâm hot. Sexy. Attractive. Whatever.â
âI mean, yeah. Who doesnât?â You squint at him. âIsnât that what gets you pussy?â Snorting a little. âDefinitely not your personality.â
âOkayâŚâ His jaw tightens. âDo you think Iâm hotter than Zodyl?â
âWhat are you talking about?â
âPretty straightforward question, ma.â
âItâs not though?â He was being insane.
âWhoâs more attractive? Me or him?â
âDude, where is all of this coming from?â
âIâm not dude.â
âOkay, Enjin. Get your panties out of a twist.â You roll your eyes and scoff at his attitude, turning back to your laptop.
He shuts it mid-citation.
You barely have time to react before he moves in, bracing his arms on either side of you and popping your personal space bubble. You fall back slightly onto the pillow behind you, catching yourself on your elbows.
âStop avoiding the question.â His eyes are locked on yours, and this doesnât feel like your usual play-fighting.
âIââ
âSwear to God, if you dodge it again.â
âI donât know!â Youâre flustered now, fully. Heâs not backing off. You swallow. âI guess I havenât really thought about it?â
âThen think about it.â
You hesitate.
Sure, Zodyl is attractive. In his weird, bug-adjacent way. Handsome. Broody. That whole mysterious thing that works on people if you ignore the super off-putting energy.
But Enjin is⌠Enjin.
He has a reputation for a reasonâanyone with functioning eyesight would say heâs sexy. Youâve also seen the parts no one else gets to. The real personality under the persona. You watched him grow into the man he is today.
And heâs one hell of a man.
âUm⌠you?â It comes out sounding like a question.
Heâs way too close. âWhyâd you say it like that? You lyinâ to me?â
âNo.â You push at his forehead with one finger, trying to create space. âI just had to think about it.â
âDo you need to be convinced?â
A squeak slips out, âConvincedâŚ?â
Your face is burning. He doesnât even fully know what he meant by that, but youâre flushed and breathing shallow and looking at him like that, and his mouth is running ahead of his brain.
One of his hands lands on the headboard behind youâleaning in to where you can feel his breath on your cheek. âYeah,â he murmurs. âI can convince you.â
You donât know what to do with your hands, folding your arms awkwardly across your chest. âJinâ⌠be honest, are you jealous?â
He jerks back like you slapped him. âJealous?â The idea is preposterous. What heâs feeling is far deeper than that. âNo. Iâm not jealous.â
You give a small, unimpressed laugh. âItâs been kind of sounding like it.â
He sits back with a huff, and youâre still half-reclined, heart racing, trying to process whatever the fuck just happened.
âAwh, câmon. Youâll always be number one in my heart.â There you go, trying to reassure him again. Youâre teasing, but the way you phrase it makes something twist in his chest.
Number one. Like thereâs a ranking. Like there could be a number two. A number three. Like you could still choose someone else, and heâd justâ
No. It doesnât matter if heâs first or hundredth. Thereâs no room in your heart for any other man.Â
He doesnât even know what he wants out of that. A relationship with you?
A relationship?
With you?
The two of you already have one. Just not the romantic kindâand the ideas never really crossed his mind before.
But now that it has, it wonât leave.
And the more he sits there, the more one thing becomes very clear to him. He wantsâno, needs you to be his.
Enjin only ramps it up from there.
Heâs working overtime with you now. Picking you up from every single class, whether you ask him to or not. And when you walk out of the one you share with Zodyl, he makes a whole production out of itâgrabbing your arm, tugging you into his chest, telling you how much he missed you. Even if he literally saw you twelve hours ago.
Zodyl doesnât react. No expression. Just a quiet âgoodbye,â and he walks off.
Then texts you anyway.
So Enjin starts getting more physical. Not that physical affection was ever weird between you twoâitâs always been a thingâbut this is different. Itâs doubled and bolder. A hand sliding onto your thigh with a squeeze while he drives. Pulling you tighter against him during movie night and pressing kisses to the top of your head. Fingers threading through your hair while youâre trying to focus on homework.
At parties, where he used to just rest a steady hand on your lower back to keep you grounded and near him, is now both hands planted on your hips. Your back flush against his chest, chin resting on your shoulder.
He even starts stripping down when he knows youâre coming over. Shirt gone. Sweatpants hanging low on his hips. Hair loose instead of slicked backâthe way he knows you like it. He corners you in the kitchen once while youâre cooking, pressing in close under the excuse of âjust grabbing a cup.â Tattooed biceps right by your head as he reaches above you.Â
Once, knowing you were coming over, he walked out into the living room straight from the showerâstill dripping. Water tracked down his chest, droplets falling from the ends of his hair.Â
He stretched slowly, arms lifting over his head so his muscles flexed and shifted on purpose, towel falling enough to make you nervous he was about to flash you. Then he looked at you like heâd just noticed you were there. âHey, pretty girl,â cue a very fake yawn, âwhenâd you get here?â
Itâs way more intimate than itâs ever been. Friendly affection got left behind a mile ago.
Heâs pulling out every trick he has. And Enjin has magic. He knows exactly how to use his charm, his presence. Heâs slutting himself out more than ever before, and heâs laying it on thick.
Maybe too thick. More than he needed to.
Because thereâs one thing he doesnât know.
You used to have feelings for him.
You were still frustrated with him. Still violently annoyed. He was overbearing, dramatic, and utterly impossible lately.
But after that nightâafter he had you pinned between pillows and freedom, barely any space between youâyou couldnât ignore the feelings that slowly started to resurface.
The energy between you felt different. The way he looked at you wasnât the same anymore. The way he touched you for sure wasnât.
You started feeling like that same teenage girl who had the fattest crush on her best friend. The one who read too much into every lingering touch and every half-smile. He was getting you all hot nâ botheredâit was embarrassing. You thought youâd grown out of that.
Youâre adults now. You donât get to have dramatic, delusional fantasies about your best friend suddenly realizing he wants you. Thatâs middle school shit.
Even if, lately, heâs been acting like heâs fighting for his own damn life every time youâre around.
~
âI wanna go bowling,â Follo announces, taking a drag from the blunt as he lays practically horizontal across the back of the couch. Enjin and Gris have shoved him off at least three times already just to mess with him, but he keeps climbing back up like itâs his assigned seat.
Everyoneâs at Enjinâs place for the night. Thereâs a movie playing in the background that no oneâs actually watching, drinks scattered across the coffee table, his favorite cracked ashtray sitting in the middle as a decorative piece.
Follo pushes himself uprightâimmediately losing balance and sliding off the couch again. âOw,â he grunts. âWho wants to go bowling?â
âRight now?â Gris looks at him like heâs insane.
âYeah. Right now.â
âWe are not going bowling right now,â Enjin snatches the blunt from his hand. âMaybe this weekend.â
âCanât this weekend!â August calls out from the floor. âI have a project due!â You sink back further into the armchair. âI canât either.â
Follo groans dramatically. âYou of all people should be able to go. Please?â
âI already have plans. Iâm sorry though.â You give him a sympathetic look and he whines at it. Tomme shifts on the floor, propping her chin on your leg as she looks up at you. âWhatâs got you busy?â
You hesitate for half a second. âUh⌠I have a date.â
That gets everyoneâs attention.
Gris lets out a low whistle, and Semiu nods approvingly. âYou go girl. Your years of celibacy are finally over.â You flip her off playfully. âShut the fuck up, itâs not like that.â
âFine,â Follo sighs, still pouting. âYouâre excused from bowling, I guess. Congrats that he finally grew a pair.â
âThank you for approving my time off, Follo.â
Enjin goes completely still where heâs standing. Lips pressed into a thin line. Teeth grinding so hard it looks painful.
âYou look mad,â Folloâs still beneath him on the floor. âBe happy for her!â
Enjin shoots him a look that could kill. âYouâre too high,â he mutters, planting his foot against Folloâs chest and nudging him back. âGreen out. Right now.â
Follo starts dramatically thrashing like Enjinâs actually crushing him, even though heâs barely applying pressure.
He canât even look at you. He knows if he does, heâs going to say or do something he canât take back. And he has no idea what that something would even be.
But youâre looking at him.
And Folloâs right. Why canât he just be happy for you? Heâs your best friend. Heâs always been your loudest supporter, and your biggest cheerleader. Every win, every milestone, every dumb little achievementâyouâve never had to question whether heâd show up for you.
So why is this so different?
You canât deny that when Zodyl first asked you out, your instinct was to hesitate. With the way Enjinâs been acting lately, and old feelings creeping back in at the worst possible timeânot to mention the possibility that actually dating someone could put space between you and himâyou were torn.
Enjin doesnât look at you for the rest of the night.
He stays mostly silent, tossing in a response here and there so he doesnât completely kill the vibe. But he wonât meet your eyes. Wonât laugh at your jokes. Wonât even brush past you the way he usually does.
Even after everyone leaves and you stay behind to help him clean upâlike you doâhe acts like youâre not there.
When youâre done, you grab your things and head toward the door. âIâm leaving!â you call out. Your hand is already on the handle when you hear footsteps, quick and uneven.
âWait.â
He canât let you walk out like this. You turn. âYeah?â
Enjin closes the distance in two strides and pins you against the door. One hand on either side of your face, holding you there.Â
âAre youâŚâ he starts, then stops, thoughts racing faster than he can control. âAre you going to go on that date?â
Heâs so close that you can feel his breath. It pulls you straight back to every moment lately where heâs been inches away, touching you like he does. Your heart is pounding so hard you think he can hear it.
âWhy wouldnât I?âÂ
âBecause I donât want you to.â
You should be furious. You should call him controlling. Tell him to get over himself. But instead, youâre just hurt. âWhy canât you be happy for me?â
The question hits him harder than anything else tonight. It loops in his head until only one answer presents itself.
âThereâs only room for me.â
âIâve already told youââ
âNo.â His voice is stern. âThereâs only room for me.â
âListen to me,â you plead. âYou'll always be my best friend, and thatâs never going to change. Itâs okay for me to try out a relationship. I wonât leave you behind. I promise.â Your hand lifts to give him a pinky promise, and he pushes it away. âThen try it out with me.â
You freeze. âWhat?â
âA relationship. Have one with me.â
âJinâ, hey. Like I said, youâre my best friendââ
Those words land wrong just like the others.
Enjin steps back, retreating. âYeah. Youâre right. Sorry, maâ. I overstepped.â As much as he hates to do it, heâll throw in the towel if you werenât willing. âBe safe getting home, okay? Have fun this weekend.â
âStop.â
âItâs late, and I know you like your Saturdays quiet andââ
âEnjin.â Your voice snaps, sharp. âWhat the fuck are you talking about?â
âWhat are you saying to me? What have you been saying to me?â You step toward him. Every step feels loud. âDo you like me?â Youâre right in front of him now, grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him down so he has to look at you again. He lets out a half-laugh, half-breath. âUnderstatement.â
âSince when?â
âIâve always liked you, baby.â
âWhen?â
He runs a hand through his hair, frustrated. âThink it started when you came in talking about that bugââ You tighten your grip. âSorry. Zodyl. When you told me he was texting you nâ shit.â
âAnd then it was thing after thing, and I realized youâre my girl. Nobody elseâs. Youâre my girl in every way, whether you feel the same or not.â
âI donâtââ Your voice wavers. âI donât understand.â
He sighs, disgruntled. âWell Iâve been trying to show youââ
âThen show me now.â The words make Enjin's heart stop. âIâll be receptive. Help me understand.â
âYou donât know what youâre asking.â
âI do,â you push. âHelp me understand what youâre feeling.â The way he hesitates makes you frustrated. âPlease?â
He surges forward and bites down on your neckâhard. Aggressive enough that you know itâs going to leave a mark. He pulls back just enough to drag his tongue over the indents of his teeth, like heâs making sure it sets.
Your hands fly from his collar to his shoulders with a sharp gasp. It hurtsâreally fucking badâbut the way heâs kissing over it now makes your stomach twist and heat pool.Â
âMy girl,â he mutters against your skin, words rough between messy kisses and lingering nips. âAll mine.â His hand slides up your waist to your collar, tugging it aside so he can press another bite into your shoulder.
âNghâJinâ, waitââ you whimper as he does it again.
âShowing you,â heâs completely lost in it. In you. In the act of marking you up. âShowing them.â His hands are gripping you like he thinks youâre about to disappear. Like if he loosens his hold for even a second, youâll slip through his fingers.
When he finally pulls back, his pupils are blown wide, chest rising and falling too fast. He looks utterly wrecked. âIâll do anything for you, maâ,â he breathes, voice rough, almost breaking. âSo quit lookinâ at other guys and just belong to me. Shitâdo I gotta get on my knees and beg?â
This is Enjin. The cocky, arrogant, campus-famous flirt whose ego usually fills the room before he does. And right now heâs undone.
For you.
You rub his shoulders, trying to soothe him, thumb brushing over his cheek, under his eye. âYouâre so stupid, you know that?â
He frowns slightly.
âStupid and blind.â A laugh escapes you as you recall how obvious you were about your feelings when you were younger. âI had the biggest crush on you in high school, I was so down bad.â
âWas?â he hones in on the word.
âWell, yeah,â you tap his cheek. âI had to get over myself if I wanted to stay your friend. And I did. I learned to be okay with that because I knew the chances of you feeling the same were slim to none. I figured I wasnât your type.â
âMy⌠my type?â
Thinking back nowâlate nights next to someone else, wondering if you got home safe, if youâd eaten, if you were laughing somewhere without himâhe realizes youâve always been the woman that mattered the most to him. Checking all of his boxes.
âYou always teased me. Called me a dork or weird like I was just your annoying little sidekickââ His fingers hook into your belt loops and he yanks you forward before you can finish, lips crashing against yours.
Itâs desperate, rough and messy. Nothing like the soft, perfect first kiss with him you imagined when you were sixteen.Â
Your hands paw at his chest as he kisses you like itâs life or death, like this is the only way he knows how to prove himself worthy for you. With those fresh bite marks burning against your skin, a declaration of his claim on you, youâre living out your childish wet dream of your best friend.
With Enjin.
He pushes you backward and you stumble, falling onto the couch with a breathless laugh that dies the second he follows.
Enjin doesnât hesitate. Heâs on you immediately, bracketing you in, one hand planted by your head while the other grips your waist. He wedges his leg between yours to keep you right where he wants you. âShouldâve realized sooner,â frustration and want tangled together in him. âCouldâve saved us so much time.â
He rolls his hips down just enough to make you gasp, a soft sound slipping out before you can stop it.
âFuck,â he growls into your mouth. âYouâre so hot.â
The compliment goes straight between your legs. The idea of Enjin looking at you like thisâwanting you like thisâused to feel delusional, so far fetched. And now youâre pinned beneath him while he kisses you stupid.
This is different from anything youâve ever had. Your kisses with your ex-boyfriend donât even compare. Those were childish polite pecks.Â
The way he makes out with you is art. He nips at your bottom lip, drags his tongue along the seam of your mouth until you part for him. His hands slide under your shirt, palms warm against bare skin, fingers splaying like heâs mapping you out because he never got to before.
Heâs going to make up for lost time.
Enjin knows youâve never done anything like this before. Semiu wasnât joking about your years of celibacy, and the fact that heâs the one youâre here with right now does something reckless to his ego.Â
He wants to be the one you remember, the one your body responds to without thinking. The one who teaches you what this is supposed to feel like. He wants it burned into you so deep that no one else even registersâin a way where when you close your eyes, itâs him. When you think about being touched, itâs him. When you imagine wanting someone, itâs him.
Heâs not just trying to winâheâs trying to make sure thereâs no competition ever again.
A hand slides up your stomach to the underwire of your bra, teasing the edge and making you shiver. His thumb brushes over your nipple, leaving you gasping for airâa silent plea for more. All while his other hand finds the waistband of your pants, tugging impatiently as he kneads your breast. Every touch of his ignites your skin.
Enjin pulls back just enough to look at you, hand still hooked at your waistband, thumb brushing the skin there while his lips trail back down to your neckâslower this time, less frantic.
âIs this okay?â Heâs bracing himself for rejection. âIf you donât want this, Iâll stop. We can pretend it never happened.â
âYou can go on your date,â he adds, voice rough but steadier than before. âAnd Iâll stay in my place.â
As much as Enjin doesnât want you to deny him, he meant it when he said heâll do anything you ask of himâeven though the erection in his pants hurts so bad right now.
âNo,â fingers fisting into his hair as you try to pull his lips back onto yours, you thrust your hips up to meet hisâdesperate for any friction to satiate the pooling between your thighs. âI donât wanna stop, donât wanna goââ
In one smooth motion, heâs lifting you up and carrying you straight toward his bedroom. The door barely makes it open before heâs tossing you onto the bedâhands everywhere, guiding you, pressing you down.
He goes for your shirt first, tugging it up and over your head with impatient hands, barely giving you time to catch your breath before heâs working at your pants too.
Enjin sits back to look at you, nearly bare in nothing but your undergarments. Your chest is rising and falling, cheeks pink with swollen, glossy lipsâhis eyes trace your form, staring at the marks on your neck and shoulder. The expanse of your skin to leave more.
He feels his dick twitch and drool.Â
Shrugging his shirt off and tossing it aside, the tattoo along his stomach makes his abs stand out every time he moves. That mixed with the view of an imprint of his ever so hard cock beneath his sweats? Youâre salivating.
Enjin catches you looking and grins. âLike what you see?â
âI could say the same for you.â
âIs that even a question?â He laughs under his breath. âFuck yeah I do.â
He leans down, mouth trailing lower, lower, lowerâkissing along your stomach, over your hip, until heâs hovering right where you need him the most. He hooks one of your legs over his shoulder, pressing a slow kiss to the inside of your thigh.
Itâs soft, almost sweet. And then he bites again.
You jolt, and he looks up at you with that dangerous half-smirk as a faint red mark begins to bloom. âAnd this,â he traces his finger in a circle around the mark, âis for only me to see.â
His breath ghosts over your soaked panties, hot and teasing. Your hand presses against his forehead to stop him, and he groans at your touch. âWait,â your hips twitching up despite yourself. âYou donât have to⌠I know some guys donât likeââ Â
Enjin makes a show of pulling the lace down with his teeth. He flicks his tongue along your slit just once, slow enough for you to feel every damn nerve ending scream for more before pulling back with a shit eating grin. âNah, that ainât me, mama.â
The second those words leave his mouth has you clenching around nothing.
His tongue drags a filthy stripe from your entrance to your clit, and the second he tastes how wet and sweet you are has him grinding into the bed. âFuck," he rasps, âlook at that. All for me?â His thumb replaces his mouth just long enough to circle slow, maddening patterns while his other hand pins your hips down.Â
You choke on air when he finally sucks hard on that swollen budâthe vibration of his groan shooting straight through you as one finger sinks inside without warning. âMine,â Enjin repeats like a prayer between licks, teeth grazing where it makes stars explode behind your closed eyelids.
Your fingers fly to weave through his golden strands of hairâletting out a louder moan than you intended toâbefore slapping a hand over your mouth to muffle your sounds.Â
No, he canât have that.
With his free hand, he pulls yours away to lace your fingers together. âAwh, donât do that. Let me hear you.â
Rough tongue sending sparks coursing through you, he slips in another fingerâcurving them just right to hit that spot inside of you and drive you mad. His fingers tighten around yours, holding your hand like a lifelineâand you can see him shaking, straining as he fights the need to just get closer to you.Â
Youâre practically crying from just his mouth and fingers aloneâyou canât imagine what itâll feel like to have him inside of you. âAghâfuck! Oh, Enjinââ
âThat's it,â heâs purring against your clit, âkeep sayinâ my name just like that.â
Itâs too muchâtoo good. When you unconsciously try to wiggle away from his hold, Enjin tskâsâgrabbing your thigh by his head and pulling you back, pushing your hips down again to keep you in place. âWhere are you runninâ off to?â His eyes are locked on you. âYou're stayinâ right here, princess.â
âPlease, pleaseâJinâ, pleaseââ You havenât got the slightest clue what youâre begging for, but you just know you need more.Â
The obscene sound of you soaking his fingers punches an embarrassing moan from Enjinâs throat. Your back arches off the bed because of itâlips parted around his nameâwhile he watches with pupils blown black.
Enjinâs hips continue to jerk mindlessly, and he swears heâs going to bust his load in his pants from just the taste and sight of you.Â
âNghâEnjin, I think Iâmââ Attempting to warn him of your increasing climax, youâre cut off by him pulling away, coming up to kiss you. Itâs softer this timeâat least compared to his rough, desperate lips earlier. âNot yet.â
Taking off his pants, he finally releases his cock from its hold. You canât help but gape at itâtip red and angry, drops of precum leaking down. Itâs unfairly pretty.
And itâs big.
He reads the slightly fearful look on your face, rubbing soft circles into your hips. âHey, weâll take it slow, okay?â Every touch is a silent promise to youâthis is Enjin, youâre safe. Heâll always take care of you.
Lining himself up at your entrance, he looks at you for confirmation. This okay?
You swallow, nodding. He smiles, leaning down to press a kiss against your cheek as he pushes just the tip in.
âShitââ You wince in pain with a sharp inhale. Enjinâs lips brush over your temple as he pushes in inch by inch. âRelax, baby. Just breathe, Iâve got you.â
Bottoming out has him moaning, head dropping to the crook of your neck. âYou feel so good.â
Every muscle in his body contracts, trying not to moveâthis is your call, and heâll wait however long he needs to. Eventually, the pain subsides into a dull acheâbut underneath it is something better. When you feel his dick twitch inside of you, it makes your breath hitch.
You tap his shoulder.
âYou can move.â
Enjin pulls back ever so slightly, before rocking back into you. âYou're shaking,â He nuzzles the curve of your shoulder, inhaling the scent of sweat and your perfume. âYou okay?â
The feeling of that first thrust catches you off guard, and you gaspârunning your hands down the ink on his chest. âPerfect.â You nod profusely. âPlease donât stop.â
Slowly but surely, his hips start rolling in more shallow movements as he watches your face twist with newfound pleasure. Youâre clenching around him so hard itâs taking everything in him to last, which was no easy feat right now. âYouâre so tightââ
âYou sound like thatâs a bad thingâŚâ
That makes him laugh, even though half-way through it he chokes on a groan when you tighten up on him again. âNo, baby. Far from a bad thing.â
âYouâre so wet,â a kiss, âand grippinâ me like this,â a thrust. âFuck, maââitâs makinâ me lose my damn mind.â He picks up speed, and it feels so good that you are crying now. Big, fat tears beading at your lashes and running down your face.Â
âShh, donât cry baby,â Enjin cooes, catching the drops of salty tears with his tongueâlapping them up as they fall. Your nails claw down his backâso hard he thinks he may be bleedingâbut that only turns him on more.Â
Itâs kind of wildâseeing you laying beneath him, eyes glazed over and glossy with tears, moaning his name and crying, all fucked out on his dick. Never in a million years would he have thought heâd be balls deep inside of youâbut now heâs cursing himself for not doing this so much sooner.
His cock is hitting nerves that your fingers or toys could never reach, and your back arches into him every time it kisses your cervix. You also couldnât believe you were having sex with Enjinâsilently thanking whatever higher power is up there for finally granting your wish.
âYouâre so beautiful.â His hips roll in mind blowing circles. âAnd youâre so smart, funny, and kind.â Every praise is accompanied with a thrust that knocks sounds you didnât even know you were capable of from your lips.Â
âYouâre all mine, right?â You babble, nod, whatever. But thatâs not what he wants. He takes one hand and grabs your jaw, the other reaching down to circle your clit. The added stimulation along with him hitting all of the right spots in your gummy walls makes your vision blur. âNghâyes! Right thereâfeels so goodâŚâÂ
âWrong answer, try again.â His thrusts are brutal now, all softness out the window. âLet me hear you say it.â He grips your jaw harder, forcing you to look him in the eye, âI know you can. Câmonnnâjust use your words, princess.â
âYours!â You cry out, âMâ yoursâall yours, oh!â One particular snap of his hips has you practically screamingâyou make a mental note to write an apology letter to his neighbors. âOnly wanna be yours, Enjinââ
âAlways have beenââ You take his face in your hands, âNever loved anyone elseââÂ
Your nails raking down the sweat-slick nape of his neck has him moaning and moving like a damn dog in heat, hips jerking like a live wireâs been shoved up his spine. âI never ever will!âÂ
Your voice is like cupidâs arrow right in his heart. No pussyâs ever had him this drunk on it beforeâlosing all of his self controlâbut that was just the spell you had on him. Constantly pulling at his heart strings, and shit, he wished he'd always loved you this way.
Maybe he had. Maybe you were right that he was stupidâhe never really was very good with feelings. Heâll never make a mistake like that again.
âThatâs my good girl, always sayinâ exactly what I want to hearâŚâ Heâs trying so hard to hold on. âGodâMâ sorry, mamaââ Enjinâs hands lock around your thighs, hiking them up until theyâre flush with your chest and heâs wearing them like a necklace. âDidnât mean to make you wait this long.â
You didnât think it was possible for him to get any deeperâbut fuck, he wasâthe stretch burning so good, and you can practically feel him in your stomach. His thick cock bullies into your tight cunt with little to no mercy, forehead pressed against yours, and your walls flutter around him as the coil in your stomach tightens.
âYou gonna cum for me?â He goes faster, harderâhe could win an Olympic medal at this point. âPlease, baby. Need you toââ The pace of his thumb circling around your clit speeds up, giving you about 30 seconds until you fall apart. âNeed you to cum all around my cockââ
Your vision goes white as you snap, orgasm rushing over you in mind blowing waves. You fall forward, this time biting down on his neckâhard enough to bleed and bruise.
âMineâmine, mine, mineââ If youâre going to be his, then heâs going to be yours. No more Mr. Playboy. Youâre not about to let him claim you without claiming him right back. If he wants you locked down, then heâs locking the fuck down too.
âFuckâyeah baby, just like thatâŚâ Enjinâs cumming harder than he thinks he ever has in his lifeâthe feeling of your walls spasming and clenching as you experience your own release, your teeth sinking into his skin, the sound of your cries and chanting right by his earâit leaves him fucking you rough and filthy through both of your highs.Â
You think this must be what heaven feels like. If you died right now, youâd be at complete and utter peace with the life youâd lived.Â
His hips slow, easing your legs gently back down around his sides. Youâre utterly wrecked beneath himâflushed and panting, skin glowing with sweat, shimmering almost like the glitter you always dust across your collarbones at parties.
Youâre the most beautiful thing heâs ever seen.
The way your hair fans out on his sheets. The way your lips are swollen and bruised from kissing him. The way your eyes are looking at him right now. He wants to burn the picture of you into his brain forever.Â
Enjin slowly pulls out and you mewl at the overstimulation, then at the loss of him inside of you. âWas that okay?â His eyes search your face like heâs looking for any sign he messed up.
âMore than okay,â you reach up to trace the mark you left on him. Itâs dark and gnarly. You wince. âSorry about that⌠But was it okay for you, too?â
âBest sex Iâve ever had, baby.â
Enjin drops back onto the bed and pulls you into his chest where you belong. âAnd donât apologize. I liked it, was hot as fuck. I feel branded nowâmight go get it tattooed.â
âYouâre gonna get so much shit from the guys.â
âDo I look like I care?â
You run your fingers over the lines of his tattoos, tracing them absentmindedly while he presses a soft kiss to the top of your head. âWe should probably get you cleaned up.â
Heâs right, your thighs are sticky from your combined juices now leaking outâbut you whine and cling tighter to him. âNooo. Not yet. In a bit.â
âYouâre such a spoiled brat.â
âYour spoiled brat, if I remember correctly.â
âYeah, my pain in the ass.â
His heartbeat thuds beneath your palm, his hand rubbing slow circles into your back like heâs trying to lull you to sleep. âGot a question for yaâ.â
You lift your chin to look at him. âWhatâs up?â
âYou still going on that date this weekend?â
You roll your eyes and pinch his cheeks lightly. âDonât ruin the moment.â
He grins. âSecond question.â
âGod, what now?â
âGirlfriend?â
Your heart fluttersâthe best word that couldâve come out of his mouth. You smile softly and nod.