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ZAYN UPLOADED A PHOTO TO INSTAGRAM ➢ ➢ ➢

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zayn:: he said will you marry me you fucking idiot and i said yes. 💍 @heyitsmisha

You guys like bonfires? I was thinkin’ maybe we could all get together, drink some beer, shoot the shit… the thing is, I’m almost 100% sure they wouldn’t let me start a bonfire at an apartment. I guess my question is: who’s lettin’ me come to their house and start a fire? I’ll chop the wood and everything. You won’t need to do any of the work as long as you provide the space. Oh, and I’m bringin’ the guitar, if that wasn’t obvious. Can’t help serenading all my favorite folks. @snowcresthq​

Oh, no, I know. You don’t have to tell me. I’ve witnessed your… bad side firsthand. I think we’ve both earned some bragging rights. The fact that I even survived last night is a brag in and of itself. I can’t wait to call you my husband, Z. I really can’t. I’m so lucky to have you. As great as it would be to tell the grand kids all about it, I’m going to pass on that too. Anyway, I’m starting to feel a little nervous about meeting her. What if she’s scared of my old, wrinkly face?

Mmm, yes, you certainly do. Teach them to fear your wrath - it’s a win-win for both of us. God, you’ve got a mouth this morning. I feel like you’re trying to brag right now. Which, you know, is totally fair considering you… god, I’m not saying it out loud. You know what you did. If she eats your ring, I’ll forgive her, but only because it’s her. But let’s hope that doesn’t happen, because I don’t want to spend my first meeting with your daughter in the emergency room all day.

Those moments kind of make you realize how lucky you are to be a parent and have those children in your lives, you know? That’s okay, you’re allowed to be! I would actually be a little concerned if you weren’t obsessed with your kid, that’s just the way that things go when you become a dad. No, I agree, nothing ever tastes the same as home-cooking. Sometimes I wonder when my kids are my age, if they’ll say that about stuff I made for them for dinner, like, “oh, dad’s potatoes were better,” or something. I hear you, did you get started on unpacking, or are things just sitting in the corner?

I was going to say, a lot of people change up their aesthetic, too, like suddenly they want all of their photos to be black and white, or they might only want pictures of plants. Which is nice, as long as that’s what they want, then they should be able to do it! It was a product of the time, but I still laugh whenever I see those posts. Oh! That’s exciting! Do you have any plans with her?

I don’t know, Z, you might be able to convince them. You do a pretty good job convincing me to do things I’m being too stubborn about. As long as you don’t start crying to get your way. I’ve tried that tactic already - it doesn’t work. I swear I’m not making it up, I’ll let you look at my call history! I, uh, am definitely worn out though and wouldn’t mind spending a little extra time in bed today… if you don’t mind. I’m excited to be here this weekend. Despite all the bullshit from yesterday, last night was… more than I could have asked for. I love you, you know that?

Zayn. You might have to bail me out of jail for assault. No, no. I’m kidding, I’m not Jared. But I’m pretty annoyed, considering they called me again about the convention and it turns out it’s next weekend after all. And you wonder why I was exhausted after 12 years of this. The good news is that I get to spend the weekend with my very handsome future husband and his daughter. || @zaynsalamb​

“Why does that matter?” Misha’s voice was sharp, and the anger that had been still simmering was now coming back to a boil. Then it dawned on him. A humorless laugh burst out of him and he shook his head before pinching the bridge of his nose. “This is about Jensen, isn’t it? I told you that Jensen’s my friend.” Now Misha was irritated. He could understand Zayn being upset and disappointed about him not getting a chance to meet Khai this weekend, but that? He thought this particular conversation was over. 

So when Zayn said he needed a break, Misha threw his hands up, about to say - good, I think I need a break too. But then Zayn was gone, and Misha was standing in his bedroom, alone, angry, and hurt. It was like everything he had ever wanted had been stolen right out of his hands. Because of a stupid convention. He was starting to think maybe he should call his agent, tell him that he wasn’t doing this shit so last minute. But Zayn had left already, and Misha had nothing to lose. Maybe going to Dallas would be a good thing. Him and Zayn just needed some time apart after spending some much of it together. Right?

But after a few minutes, the reality started to set in. “Fuck, I can’t fucking believe this…” He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, gritting his teeth. He was going to be stupid about this, wasn’t he?

Misha didn’t bother changing out of his pajamas - after all, he wasn’t going far. He found himself standing outside of Zayn’s door, fist hesitantly hovering in front of the door. It reminded him of another time he had stood here, just like this - the first time Zayn had ever told Misha that he wanted this to be exclusive. Misha swallowed hard, closed his eyes, sucked in a breath. But he didn’t knock after all - instead, he just opened the door and walked in, because it was practically his place too.

He didn’t know where Zayn was in the apartment. Misha made himself known. “Zayn, you can’t say shit like that and then just leave.” 

zayn honestly hadn’t expected misha to come after him this time too. he had gone after him so many times when zayn was being dramatic, when he had been hurt, or overthinking things. when would he get tired of doing this very thing multiple times? but there he was. zayn stuck his head out from the balcony, meeting misha’s eyes. he still felt them to be red and irritated from the tears he had pushed away, trying his best to ignore. he dropped his cigarette in the ashtray and got back inside, hands in the pockets of his sweats as he watched misha.

“i know,” he took a deep breath. and then he spoke. “i get that you... have to go and... i know that... there will be times when i have to go but i just... i didn’t know it could hurt this much. i was just so ready for this weekend, mish. and i was so ready for... well... khai to meet you,” he mumbled, looking down at his feet. he struggled looking at misha because he wanted to be in his arms now more than ever but he knew he had to say this. and if he got distracted, he wouldn’t say it at all. he would end up begging misha to hug him and they would kiss and then all would be lost until misha would leave and zayn would be upset again. he couldn’t do it, not right now.

zayn took a deep breath. “i think... i think i might just need some time. to... handle things like this. and i don’t know... i don’t want to be too... dependent on you being here. i don’t want to feel as if my whole world falls if you... go away for a weekend,” he looked up now a tear trickling down his cheek, threatening to fall to the floor. he wiped it away. “so maybe... maybe it’s best if you go and maybe... it will be... a good break. for... us,”

he couldn’t believe what he was saying. was he still being dramatic and dumb? overreacting? well, maybe that was what he had to stop. he took a step closer, leaning in to kiss misha softly. “i love you,” he mumbled, eyes closed as he kept his face close to misha’s. “but i don’t know if my reactions are healthy right now and maybe... i need a break to know that i can make it without you if i have to,” his hand trembled as he reached to his neck, taking off the necklace and put it in misha’s hand, closing his fingers around it for him. when he met his eyes again he was having trouble seeing because his vision was so blurred from tears. 

This is exactly what Misha had feared. He felt nauseated by all of this, and he was trying to find the right words to try and fix this. He clearly hadn’t chosen correctly before. “Please wait.” Misha grabbed Zayn’s wrist gently, holding him there. “Please, just… just hear me out, alright?” He didn’t let go of Zayn’s wrist as he began to spill words, unfiltered, an absolute ramble of ideas that probably made all of this sound even worse than it already did. But he had already started, and there was no stopping him.

“They sent the wrong dates to us, and yeah, that’s fucking stupid and I’m still wondering who the hell let that happen. I tried to convince them to only keep me on Saturday, but I’m contracted for this. I can’t back out unless it’s some kind of emergency. Zayn, I…” He brought Zayn’s hand up to his lips, and kissed it gently. “I want to meet Khai, more than anything. It’s one of the most important things to me right now. You have to believe me. I’ve been so excited for this and now I’m…” What? Angry? Sad? Anxious? All of the above? “I’m disappointed because I’d much rather be here with you and your daughter than stuck in some hotel room in some city I could care less about for the weekend.”

And that was the truth. It was all that Misha could say. Once the words were out, his mind went completely blank. He let go of Zayn’s wrist and his hand dropped back to his side. “I don’t want you to go… I don’t…” Misha had to swallow hard, the acid in his throat choking him up, “I don’t want you to leave but I understand if you need space.” But it was obvious that he was hurt - they were both hurt. But heavy emotions like this often took rationality and threw it right out the fucking window. So Misha watched, and waited, wondering how Zayn was going to react now.

“who will be there?” zayn asked, but he regretted it almost immediately. it didn’t matter. none of it matter. misha was leaving and that was it. he shook his head, to show that he didn’t care about who would be there. he understood contracts, hell, he had lived with only contracts for multiple years in one direction and he knew the hell that had followed when he had broken them. but this was... he hadn’t expected this. for some reason he just hadn’t thought that they would end up with this.

he felt selfish and ashamed but he also really wanted misha to say, screw the contract, screw the convention, there will be other times because this was important. he knew the same could be said for hanging out with him and khai - zayn and misha had been glued to each other for over a week now and well, khai wasn’t going anywhere. it was just that zayn couldn’t shake the feeling that he was... let down. disappointed. and the thought of being away from misha for a whole weekend like this was just, something he had hoped he would be getting some more preparation for than what he was getting now. about a day. and then he was supposed to be by himself for the whole weekend and sleep alone and...

khai wouldn’t get to meet him. zayn fought back tears. he just hated plans falling through and he hated that work was important because being away in montana had felt so good, as if it was just the two of them and no problems, nothing that could get to them -- and now the harsh reality was just hitting zayn. that they couldn’t always have everything their way. 

Ice cold dread seeped into every part of Misha’s body as Zayn spoke, knowing that he was about to drop a bomb on him. Misha inhaled slowly, then exhaled just the same - a little meditation - before he found the courage to speak. “Um, about that… there’s been a change of plans.” Misha had to stop then, because the feeling of his stomach dropping made him feel a little queasy; he swallowed the bile rising in his throat a few times before making any attempt to continue. “They got the fucking… they got the dates of the convention mixed up, and it’s actually this weekend. So they’re putting me on a flight tomorrow afternoon to Dallas and I won’t be back until Sunday night…” Then he added, barely a whisper, “I’m so sorry, Z. I’m so, so sorry.”

Misha kept his hand on Zayn, attempting to provide comforting touch as he continued. “But you know what? Maybe Gigi will let us take Khai out for a day next week. I’m sure she would be okay with that. Or we can wait until the weekend after next, since she’ll be with you again.” He was rambling now - trying to present alternatives, knowing all too well that if it was him on the other side of this, he would be so disappointed as well. Misha just wanted Zayn to know that he was serious about meeting Khai and that this convention wasn’t some excuse he was using to get out of it.

“I’m just really sorry, Z. I’m… a lot calmer now that I’ve had time to sit and think about it, but it still pisses me off. This isn’t typical though thankfully.” At that point, all Misha could do was wait for Zayn to respond, and every second that past felt like hours. How was he going to react? Had Misha talked it to death and now it sounded like he was making excuses? His anxiety brain was not cooperating with him right now. He was just going to overanalyze every detail. Misha held his breath, and waited, fingers trembling ever so slightly.

zayn was still half asleep, so at first he didn’t even register what misha said. he just licked his lips sleepily, by habit grabbing for misha to get him closer, which he always always did when he woke up and misha wasn’t in his close proximity. but then he heard, the absolute flood of words and zayn froze. he froze. eyes widening and then he sat up. “wait, what?” he asked, a feeling of dread seeping through all his veins at once, making him feel all cold inside.

“what do you mean, wrong weekend?” he said, confused, sleepy and starting to feel upset already even though he was still not really awake and not sure what he was going to do. “how do they get the weekend wrong? misha, we have plans this weekend,” his eyes started to feel wet as his lower lip trembled. if he hadn’t been so sleepy, he might handle this better, he wasn’t sure, but now he felt like he wanted to cry. he had been so nervous and looking forward to this weekend so  much, misha finally meeting khai and khai finally meeting misha and now... what?

“but i already told her we’re meeting you this weekend,” he protested, and sat up, not even aware he was moving away a bit from misha when he did. the flood of words had confused him and all in all it started to feel more like excuses. like it didn’t make sense. who planned things this wrong? it just didn’t make sense. “if you didn’t want to meet her you could just say so,” he told him finally, his voice trembling now, dangerously close to breaking but then, he pushed it away, like he always did when things got too emotional and too much at once.

Which is pretty much what we need, right? Gotta keep things interesting and lively. Yeah… they are… awake in the morning and honestly, it’s amusing but at the same time I like to sleep. But yano, kids. We couldn’t have the fun kind of trouble without you. How have you been keeping up? Happy to be home?

Even just the quiet moments of laying on the couch together, watching TV. I think a lot of times parents expect the big moments to be the only ones that matter and they miss out on the things you wouldn’t expect to be special, like you said. Did she pass down to you how to make it, or is it something that just doesn’t compare when you try? Flight hasn’t been too bad so far, even if it’s not always the most fun to wrangle all the kids on a plane.

For what it’s worth, you’re not alone in that! I’ve seen a lot of people delete their Instagram activity after a while, I’m not sure why. But I get you keeping it clean, I just… live with it. Even the embarrassing filters and stickers from years ago. It works out good for everyone that way, yeah? I’m glad! I mostly have just relaxed, read a little, did some trip planning with Zac, but I’m ready to land.

Fine, okay, I believe you, but only because I haven’t found any weird zippers or pull-tabs on you to indicate you might just be wearing a human suit. You are very cute and I will gladly accept all of your love. I think I’ll pass on the hamster. Something about cleaning a hamster cage is… well, I don’t want that responsibility. Maybe we could get a cat or a dog or something though. If you wanted that, of course. Okay, I do have to admit the perks are great. I don’t know Zayn, I’ll be carrying all of your shit again, need I remind you, so you might be carrying your happy ass to bed yourself. Maybe my place? Since it’s less stairs. I haven’t changed my mind, Zayn. You know I’m not really the type to get cold feet about things.

You make a good point. But even if I’m physically or mentally tired, I’m never tired of you. I mean, you’re digging yourself into a hole by providing a lot of valid reasons why you are a snake, so can you blame me? I don’t think I ever had a hamster as a kid but I had a bit of a… strange childhood. Listen, I love you, but sometimes… sometimes being on your side is a scary place to be. Like when you’re trying to argue that snakes are less scary than spiders. I’ll miss this place, but I agree. I can’t wait to be back in our bed. Wait, uh, I guess… either of our beds. A bed - with the two of us in it. And I’m excited for the weekend too, sweetheart. Just don’t change your mind or something, because it’ll break my heart. I… really can’t wait to meet Khai.