semper ameris

The fact that she could talk amazed her. After all the guttural screaming and crying in agony, Yar was shocked she had even an ounce of voice left in her. It ached to talk, but sometimes it was worth it. Hearing her mother reassure her that she was actually alive was absolutely worth it. 

She wasn’t quite sure she could move, nor did she want to try, feeling that her chest was still rather tender from the celestial weapon she’d been slashed with. But damned if she didn’t want to try to at least sit up. She knew her mother would likely urge her not to move, in fact, she’d likely insist, and Yaretzi didn’t have the energy to argue. 

“I feel like shit, but thanks for asking, Mum.” she answered, trying not to laugh at her own stupid answer. “Where’s Dad?” 

Not that she wasn’t grateful that her mother was there, but she was shocked that her father wasn’t right beside her in worry. “I’m glad you’re here.” She gently tilted her head into her mother’s caress, knowing the warmth of her fingers were soothing on her aching cheek.

              elegant   fingers   push   strands   of   blonde   hair   away   from   a   swollen   face   ,   trying   to   get   a   better   look   at   her   daughter   ,   disbelieving.   of   habit   ,   lilith   sends   healing   magicks   through   yaretzi   where   their   skin   touched   ,   careful   and   weak   —   too   much   and   she   may   find   herself   asleep   yet   again.   healing   is   hard   work   ,   even   when   assisted   by   magic   ,   and   requires   rest.   perhaps   it   is   selfish   ,   but   lilith   is   unwilling   to   release   her   child   to   sleep   yet   ,   not   when   she   was   so   recently   torn   from   her.   not   when   she   JUST   got   her   back.  

              “   he’ll   be   here   soon   ,   ”   lilith   promises.   there   is   no   place   lucifer   would   rather   be   than   beside   their   recovering   daughter   ;   lilith   knows   this   the   way   she   knows   the   sky   is   blue   ,   an   unquestioned   fact.   but   as   they   are   parents   ,   they   are   rulers.   their   responsibilities   beacon   them   elsewhere   on   occasion.  

              and   how   intriguing   an   occasion   this   is.  

              azrael   does   not   visit   alone.   she   brings   an   ARMY   of   guests   alongside   her   ,   begging   for   refuge.   lilith   is   desperate   for   details   ,   wishing   to   split   herself   in   twain   and   know   both   who   azrael   brings   alongside   her   and   why   —   and   to   be   here   whispering   calming   words   to   her   daughter   and   nursing   her   to   health.   lucifer   had   considered   ignoring   his   sister   upon   her   arrival   ,   until   the   messenger   gave   word   of   her   entourage   and   dishevelment.  

              none   of   this   is   information   yaretzi   needs   quite   yet.   not   until   they   know   more.  

              lilith   sends   her   husband   a   prayer   ,   informing   him   of   their   daughter’s   state   and   demanding   knowledge.

              yartezi   must   be   so   thirsty    —    the   echoes   of   her   screams   in   her   prayers   will   haunt   lilith’s   memory   for   the   rest   of   her   existence.   upon   leaning   back   in   her   chair   ,   lilith   pours   a   glass   of   water   from   the   pitcher   beside   the   bed   ,   offering   it   to   her   daughter.   there’s   a   straw   in   the   cup   so   she   won’t   have   to   strain.   it   is   an   ORDER   to   drink   ,   and   to   do   so   carefully.  

              “   do   you   hunger   ?   what   do   you   require   of   me   ,   lovely   ?   ”  

Soon… 

She had to give thanks to everything she believed in, because without her father's heaven sent power, she likely would have been just another loss to her parents. Yaretzi knew that couldn't have been the end of her. She was too much of a fighter, taking after her mother and some of her stronger siblings in that way. 

Every inch of her ached for one reason or another, and it took so much focus not to want to go back to sleep, even for a little while. She knew she'd heal faster if she slept, but she could feel that there was something else going on, which was why her father wasn't there. She craved to know what was happening, but she also knew that her mother would likely tell her in due time. 

Hearing the water being poured roused her back around and the attention was back on Lilith, who offered the drink. Yaretzi took a couple of small sips from the glass, before gently shaking her head. She didn't really know what she needed. She felt like she was barely treading water, as it was, so thinking took her longer than her usual quick witted replies. 

She wondered if she had died, actually. The immense amount of pain she felt had ceased, and she felt light, somehow. Yaretzi almost wondered if she’d been kidnapped, and the gown she had seen hadn’t been her mother’s at all. Had she imagined it? Calling out for help, hoping they would come? Had it all been a pain induced moment of hysterics? 

She didn’t know. 

She was somewhat lucidly aware that her body was healing, but her subconscious was stuck on working through the fight, over and over. Places she could have been better, moments she did well; it was all on repeat. Her heartbeat dipped when she reached the moment when she thought she died, and would come back when her brain started the cycle over again. 

She did also wonder briefly if this is what a hell loop felt like… 

She aches from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. The celestial wound in her chest is still tender, even though she knows her father was the one to heal it. Yar can’t separate all the different parts of her that hurt, every injury feeling warmer than usual. A quiet groan rumbles in her chest, as she feels light kisses on her hand. 

Home. 

She was home, and safe, and all the tension she’d been holding onto in her slumber melted away. Puffy eyes slowly up opened to see her room around her, and she slowly tilted her head, ever so slightly, so she could see her mother beside her. 

“Mum…” she smiled as best as her bruised face would allow.

                    her   name   is   music.

                    it   is   so   beautiful   it   lines   her   eyes   with   tears   ;   never   has   she   heard   as   beautiful   a   sound   as   her   name   on   her   daughter’s   lips.   mum.   

                    lilith   squeezes   yaretzi’s   hand   tight   ,   watching   her   blue   eyes   flutter   open.   she   was   bruised   and   swollen   and   so   ,   so   beautiful.

                    the   worst   of   her   injuries   had   been   healed   in   that   alley.   the   gasping   pain   of   ripping   yaretzi’s   soul   from   death   had   mended   the   worst   of   her   injuries   to   the   point   that   they   would   not   cause   immediate   death.   from   there   ,   lucifer   had   taken   over    —    brought   them   home   and   ,   within   the   safe   walls   of   their   palace   ,   ·····rebuilt   her   broken   bones.   the   bruises   remained   ,   the   swelling   and   discoloration.   healing   the   wound   from   that   blade   had   taken   so   much   more   ENERGY   than   they   had   been   prepared   for   ,   and   they   feared   yaretzi’s   body   could   not   take   much   more.   healing   was   not   an   easy   process.

                    lilith   can   hear   the   flutter   of   her   daughter’s   heart   ,   stronger   now   that   she’d   woken    —    still   much   too   weak.

                    but   alive.

                    but   ALIVE.

                    she   needs   send   word   to   her   husband.

She wasn’t quite sure she could move, nor did she want to try, feeling that her chest was still rather tender from the celestial weapon she’d been slashed with. But damned if she didn’t want to try to at least sit up. She knew her mother would likely urge her not to move, in fact, she’d likely insist, and Yaretzi didn’t have the energy to argue. 

“I feel like shit, but thanks for asking, Mum.” she answered, trying not to laugh at her own stupid answer. “Where’s Dad?” 

                    the   exhaustion   is   bone   deep.   every   single   movement   aches    —    and   beyond   it   ,   the   weight   of   the   world   is   heavy   on   her   shoulders   ,   the   hatred   and   rage   and   sorrow   of   yet   another   loss.   her   heart   is   sore   ;   the   memory   of   yaretzi   in   so   much   PAIN   steals   her   breath   away.   her   cry   for   help   will   echo   endlessly   in   the   queen’s   head   ,   a   final   hail   mary.   had   she   even   known   she’d   called   ?   had   it   been   instinctual   ,   to   scream   for   her   parents   when   all   hope   was   gone   ?every   time   lilith   blinks   ,   she   sees   her   child.   her   golden   hair   caked   through   with   blood   and   ichor   ,   red   matting   into   the   strands.   she   had   put   up   a   good   fight.   although   lilith   wishes   she   never   would   have   had   to   ,   she   is   so   proud   that   yaretzi   battled   ,   refused   to   go   easy.   it   had   been   a   close   fight.   

                    but   everything    —    the   fatigue   ,   even   the   pride    —    fades   in   the   face   of   this   encompassing   RELIEF.   there   is   no   sweeter   song   than   the   beat   of   her   daughter’s   heart.   it   flutters   lightly   ,   fades   to   near   nothing   ,   before   returning   again.   but   it   is   there.   she   is   alive.   

                    lilith   reaches   out   to   hold   yaretzi’s   hand.   not   touching   her   feels   wrong.   it   feels   as   if   ,   without   a   touch   confirming   her   daughter’s   existence   ,   she   will   disappear.   that   she   would   fade   into   the   ether.   the   emotion   is   remarkably   familiar   ,   bur   rarely   quite   as   strong.   when   yaretzi   would   return   to   hell   from   an   exploration   ,   lilith   would   feel   this   same   relief.   this   thrill   that   her   daughter   had   not   been   lost   to   angels   seeking   glory   and   approval.   that   some   IDIOTIC   human   had   not   destroyed   her   in   the   name   of   the   lord.   lilith   has   lost   too   many   children   to   similar   efforts.   she   has   known   the   crushing   horror   of   it   when   they   do   not   return.   

                    the   angels   had   never   tried   in   her   presence   before.   for   all   their   presumption   ,   they   had   been   too   smart   to   so   much   as   toy   with   her.   

She didn't know. 

She was somewhat lucidly aware that her body was healing, but her subconscious was stuck on working through the fight, over and over. Places she could have been better, moments she did well; it was all on repeat. Her heartbeat dipped when she reached the moment when she thought she died, and would come back when her brain started the cycle over again. 

She did also wonder briefly if this is what a hell loop felt like… 

She aches from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. The celestial wound in her chest is still tender, even though she knows her father was the one to heal it. Yar can't separate all the different parts of her that hurt, every injury feeling warmer than usual. A quiet groan rumbles in her chest, as she feels light kisses on her hand. 

Home. 

She was home, and safe, and all the tension she'd been holding onto in her slumber melted away. Puffy eyes slowly up opened to see her room around her, and she slowly tilted her head, ever so slightly, so she could see her mother beside her.