a d r i a n j a y m e s

Today I realized just how lucky I am. I came back home today after being there spotty these last 3+? months of so. Just me and my grandparents in the house I just remember everything being the exact same. But it feels so different-- like a past life. It really hurts deep down, I miss it so much here but I don't want to come back. My home doesn't feel like home anymore. It's a feeling I never thought I would ever feel & some days I wish I were back, some days I don't. I'm so fortunate to have the things I have from my boyfriend, he's helped me with so much it's so unreal. Him and I may have a complicated relationship but at the end of the day, we work. That's all that matters to me. I'm just stuck sometimes, I miss home and my brothers and sisters and everyone in this home. I just don't know if I'm ready to come back yet