Jack! ★

✦ ⠀⠀⏖　Ladies, gentlemen, and all curious little things peeking in from the back row, welcome!

　﹙☆﹚　You may call me Jack of All Trades.

❝⠀⠀.⠀⠀ That is not a boast, mind you. It is a courtesy. I would hate for you to wonder what I am capable of and receive a dull answer. —⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ This blog is here for questions, confessions, curiosities, and any other little thought that has been scratching at the inside of your skull. Drop something in the box, and I shall answer!

　Do be careful, though. 　I enjoy nosy people, 　but I enjoy polite ones more.

anyway hi!!!!!

Hello, then!

Five minutes is a respectable amount of hesitation. Long enough to reconsider, short enough to prove curiosity won! I do like that in a person.

& I have some sweets for you, as a gift for being my favorite performing carnie…

🍬🍫🍪🧋

🤲🏻

Oh, Widdow. You’ve brought tribute. How sensible of you!

I do have a few things planned for the audience, yes. Nothing too cruel to start with. A game or two, perhaps.

No, I won’t spoil it. Half the fun is watching people agree before they’ve thought properly.

And “favorite performing carnie” is dangerous flattery. I hope you know that. Say that too sweetly and I may start expecting gifts every time you come to the stage!

Little crow.

You have circled a lady’s face in red and presented it to me with far too much confidence. What a bold little hobby you have!

Yes, I know her. That is Layla Lovelace, and you have caught her looking terribly sweet for someone being dragged into your mischief!

Careful, now. I become very attentive when people bring her name near my stage.

Which what, now? Creepypasta. Is that a food, or has someone invented another category while I was busy elsewhere?

You will have to explain it properly, little guest. I refuse to choose favorites from a word i have no knowledge in.

Oh, an easy one! How kind of you.

Toffee, I think. Properly sticky toffee! Chocolate is always welcome, of course. I am not so difficult to please that I would turn away a good piece of chocolate. I do have standards, friend, but I am also reasonable when bribed correctly!

Peppermints have their place as well. I like a sweet that can sit in a pocket for ages and still taste fresh.

A better, more charming performer? Oh, friend. We’re doing fantasy now?

Still, I am not petty enough to turn talent away. Talent is useful. But if someone truly managed to outshine me, I would be gracious!

Other clowns? Careful, little crow! That sort of question gets people shoved out of dressing rooms!

I believe clowns can be lovely company, provided they understand the work. The bad ones are harder to forgive. They only make noise and hope the joke finds them eventually.

What a well-dressed question, Scrabeloo! You may come closer.

Ah, you caught that!

They are part of the act, and like most performers, they behave beautifully right up until they remember they have pride.

A type? How forward. And with a wink tucked in there, too. Very bold of you!

I like people who do not react quite how they are supposed to. Someone sweet enough to make me want to come closer, and calm enough that I have to wonder whether they are brave, foolish, or simply being difficult.

A pretty face is pleasant, of course. Good manners help! What keeps my attention is someone who can look at me and speak as though I am not the strangest thing that has ever stepped into their evening.

And/or things you enjoy doing in your free-time

Question mark

“Question mark.” How considerate! I should like all punctuation announced so politely from now on.

When I want to relax, I usually do something with my hands. It keeps me from becoming unbearable, or at least keeps me unbearable in a quieter way. There is always some little thing around the fairground that needs fixing, and I do enjoy making a stubborn latch behave itself!

I like card tricks when no one is watching. Which is important. Once someone watches, it becomes work, and then I have to be impressive about it.

Sometimes I sit with the smaller performers and let them bother me for a while. They pretend they are not pleased by the attention and i pretend I believe them.

What a very particular question you’ve brought me, little guest.

Yes, I like birds well enough. Clever things. Quicker than people think, and far less embarrassed about stealing what catches their eye!

Pets? Not quite, no.

There are a few little things around the fairground that have learned looking pathetic near me gets results.

A dangerous reputation, really. One offers a scrap once, and suddenly everyone believes one has a gentle heart.

i have all these worms but too bad I won't have any groceries to feed them with when they come out 💔 boo 💔 boohoo 💔💔💔

“When they come out” is a phrase I would like removed from the evening at once. I do not care for it, and I care even less for the little sob story you’ve tied to my confiscated tomatoes!

You were warned about the tomatoes. Do not pretend this is tragedy when it is very clearly poor planning with worms attached.

Take them back. All eight of them.

Mind your little exclamation marks! I am answering, not taking orders.

Snapdragons, I think. They have a good sense of humor. Press them properly and they open their mouths, which is more than I can say for some audiences.

Marigolds are acceptable too. Bright, stubborn, a little rude to the nose.

🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅

whhoops dont mind that COHGH AHEUGH AHEM those are. my groceries. these prices huh??? ppppheww

Do not “whoops” at me! I know a tomato thrown with intent when I see one!

Eight of them, too. You came to my stage prepared for public disgrace!