i'm still here

follow recs are v welcome if anyone wants to recommend your artist friends or cool mutuals or whatever!! most of the blogs i was following are many years inactive at this point

i miss

i keep having the thought “if there was a single older male figure in my life who was worth looking up to at all, i would surely be a man” and like, i know what i would say to someone who expressed that TO me, but it’s different when it’s Me and i fucking hate the men in my family so so so so so much. f

thinking a lot about how when i was a kid, my "hurricane prep" was always duct taping and bungee-cording my plushies onto whatever shelves they were on bc 1. they had their place and had to stay exactly there and 2. if they fell and touched the ground it was over forever, there was no worse fate than one of my beanie babies touching the ground

tired. miss having a support system. miss caring about things. wish i’d found a therapist who worked well for me when i had good insurance. wish someone could fix my brain. wish i’d been diagnosed as a kid and gotten the skills i needed to function. tired.