under the same stars.

3/23/26

12/27/25

3/17/25

Hey there! Yet again, much has changed and progressed since my last entry. I’m starting to think that’s just life, though. Day-by-day nothing seems all that different, but you look back a few months and are amazed and where you’ve landed.

Welp, first update should definitely be that I’m BACK at my old job. A better fitting opportunity presented itself for me so I jumped on it and am so, so happy! I’m still loving life in my little studio apartment, although my anxiety and fear of death these days are at an all-time high. I’ve really made the space feel like home, though. Oh - LOL. And Brennan and I got a puppy. Yup. Back in January we rescued a little 8-week-old girl and named her Winnie! She is a total doll but also the most energetic piranha I’ve ever met in my life. It’s been an adventure no doubt—one I’m glad to share in with Bren. Buggy is as sweet and good as ever and he and Winnie get along great honestly. Mom and dad are wrapping up the remodel of their sac home and it’s just darling. They truly made it perfect. Grammy’s dementia is getting worse by the day so all we can do is take it day-by-day at this point. Oh, and Soph is pregnant with a baby girl! Due end of August. And she and Zach moved onto the same block as me. You best believe Sunday and Winnie have play dates all the damn time! Bryce and Tess also had their baby boy, Owen, last month. He’s the cutest baby I’ve ever seen in my life, no joke. I can’t wait to have babies with Bren (metaphorically speaking. I can wait actually wait, but in theory I am very excited).

Bren will be moving into my studio next month so we can start saving money for wedding season. We are getting engaged soon (literally any day now. I have NO clue when it’s coming but I know it’s soon). Once my lease is up, we are considering moving into the ADU in Sac to save even more money, but of course—TBD.

My coined phrase for this year is “28 is the new 25” because I want to be as healthy (mentally, spiritually, internally, physically) as I was at 25! I haven’t taken a ton of proactive steps to get there so far but I plan on it. No time like the present!

9/20/24

Man do I feel like I live three whole years in between entires! Well, a ton has changed since my last post so buckle up.

I am now a citizen of San Francisco, CA. I got a little studio apartment out here this month and it’s so bright and cozy and a block from the water. I also started ANOTHER new job. I wasn’t looking for one and then it just kind of fell in my lap once I decided to make my way to NorCal. Speaking of NorCal, my parents officially sold their Truckee house and moved to Sac full time today! Mom has been living in the ADU the past few months, but now dad is officially down there too. Soph and Zach got a puppy, Sunday, and it’s been a dream getting to see her and them often. Also helps that they all live two doors down from the love of my life, the new boyfriend I mentioned in my last entry.

Things will Bren are amazing. I honestly never imagined things could be so good. Amidst a season where everything is changing my faith and Brennan have been the two constants. I’m so lucky to have a pillar and lighthouse in Brennan. He’s so gentle, loving, kind, and all good things wrapped into one handsome as HECK man. He’s everything I’ve ever dreamed of and more.

We are actually going ring shopping tomorrow. Just going to drop that one in casually. We are going to Derco, which is the company my parents have been using in the city. Coincidentally on Brannan street, haha. We aren’t getting engaged asap but more so going so Brennan knows how much he needs to save up for when we are ready.

I’m so excited. Everything is so sweet. Hard, yes. Consistent eye twitch, yes. Anxiety and panic attacks, yes. But amidst it all I feel so lucky and grateful to be closer to family, living life with Brennan and my best friend and bug.

3/16/24

Man, oh man! Many months have passed and life has continued to change as it always does. I moved into my own apartment in October - my very first place alone. Bug and I have grown to love it. It has started to feel like a little cozy bubble. I started a new job shortly after moving which has also been such a blessing. I was miserable at Minted and my role with EEG has been a needed and welcomed change. Community group is the greatest blessing of my life down here in San Diego. I feel so lucky to be surrounded by so many incredible people who I actually want to hang out with. That group is literally God-breathed, no doubt in my mind about that.

I was supposed to run another half marathon with Tay and Dad in Texas last month and injured myself right before which resulted in only a 5k for miss Madeline. And, because of said injury, I cannot compete in the Half Iron Man I signed up for early next month. I’m already trying to figure out how to function again in a body without medication, the injury really doesn’t help. But I have goals and active steps to get to where I want and need to be!

Also, I have a boyfriend. Yeah, I know, it’s nuts. Never honestly thought I would actually find someone I was willing to step back into all of this with. Want to know the best part? He’s Zach’s cousin, someone I’ve known for years. We became official only last week and have been talking since New Years. He’s a walking angel. I’m still navigating the whole relationship thing, it’s not particularly easy to feel like it’s real since we are distance.

But, that being said, I am planning a move to SF in the next few months. I had the desire and plan to after the holidays up there (it’s not for said boy…promise). I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. Other than my 4 month hiatus, San Diego has been “home” for me for almost NINE YEARS. Almost an entire decade I have driven these roads and felt safe in this space. Stepping out of that safety and into the unknown is insanely daunting. I know I will have community and family close by and that I will be okay, but I’m also leaving so much good behind. I love my apartment, my neighbor, I love San Diego, Shelter Island, I LOVE my church, my community group. I feel very fortunate to be leaving something good for something good. It’s a unique spot to be in, but it makes it that much harder.

Am I making the right choice? Do I need to stay here longer? Forever? Will I hate San Francisco? Will I fall in love and want to stay there forever? It feels as though the wrong decision will send my life spiraling down a path that was never meant for me. But how can I know what is wrong? How can I move any which way in full confidence? I’m learning that I can’t. And I just have to take the leap, knowing I will land on my feet regardless. But dang, I’m scared. And I’m sad. And I’m just trying to soak up every last second here.

7/20/23

Time is just going and going and going. I ran my half marathon with dad. It was amazing. I’m still at my job, yearning for something new. I’ll be moving again in September, but I’ve loved the home I’ve made this past year in Point Loma. I’m dating but also not ready to let go of my independence quite yet. It feels like a yes, but not yet, season for me. So many things feel like they’re on the horizon, yet I don’t feel quite ready to make the leap. I actually feel like that’s when the best things come. When you’re just kind of forced to jump and hope for the best. No expectations other than landing on your two feet, which you always do.

3/27/23

I’m big into running now! I am running a half marathon with dad in June and have been training and truly loving the process. Finding my rhythm and groove with this whole thing has turned out to be a pretty exciting undertaking for me!

I hope it’s not just a phase (as I’m known to go through). I hope I continue to progress in my skills and love for running because right now it’s truly exhilarating!

2/21/23

12/16/22

9/24/22

7/15/22

July 2022. I feel like every time I give an update, there’s so much to be said.

Santa Rosa was horrible. I am glad I did it, I know I needed it to take the space I needed to process my break up, re-center my faith and re-align my priorities. But boy was I ready to get out of there.

So where am I now? After a lot of pulling and yearning, I ended up back down in Southern California in a town outside of Encinitas. It’s been wonderful so far. My house, the town, my routine, being near community and my church - it’s all so good. I’m so happy.

It’s been 3 months since he and I ended and we have hardly talked. The only times we have are because I initiated - go figure. I have been able to process that relationship with my friends, God and myself and I can confidentially say in hindsight - it was one of the most toxic things I have ever been a part of. I am grateful the rose colored glasses are off so I could see it for what it really was. I am able to recognize the good times, but so many of them had toxic fights and insecurities sprinkled within them which taint the way I see them now.

That being said, I’m really just focusing on healing from it. Personally, I feel I have healed and recognized what hurt me. Now I know the next step will be stepping back out and dating again so I can acknowledge and work through the insecurities I now have because of that relationship.

And let me say, I feel ready and equipped to step into something new. Something exciting. I made a comment this year that 2022 is the year for magical feelings and I really hope it is! For my own personal self I am filled with wonder and growth and that in itself has been magic - but I think I’m ready to share in the magic with someone again.

It’s been 7 months since the official breakup.

4/15/22

We broke up in December but had been lightly talking again as of late. We officially called it quits a few days ago.

It’s an odd thing - learning how to stop loving someone you once loved so dearly. Navigating a world without the one person you did everything with.

There was a lot of good in that relationship accompanied by a lot of bad. So many good times but also a lot of tears.

I’ve turned pretty bitter about the whole thing. Bitter about the things I have to unlearn because of him. Bitter by the way he left. But I’ve started to realize that by turning bitter, I’m not allowing room for my healing process to take place in a safe environment.

“There was happiness because of you. And there will be happiness after you. Both of these things can be true. There was happiness, past the blood and bruise.”

It was a mess of two years together, and I’m glad to have been in it for the most part. I’ve grown from it. And I’m glad to know now that he wasn’t the one I was meant to be with, and it’s okay that’s it’s hard to deconstruct this idea I had built in my head that he was.

2/2/22

Boy, do I have an update for you. The last post about my break up with Trent - that wasn’t a real break up, just a break. But now we are really broken up as of December 13th. It’s been an adjustment. I moved away from San Diego. Quit my job at the dentist office. Did I ever tell you I was working there? I’m now living in Santa Rosa, working remote and starting a whole new chapter up here closer to family.

It’s been a lot. I haven’t been strong in keeping space from Trent, honestly. Although I think space is what would be best for me. I’m not sure where this all will take me or us. I miss him every day, but he was my best friend for almost two years. And I love him and I love talking to him so I know it’s meant to be hard. And I’m grateful I had something so good that is hard to lose. It shows how real it all really was.

I’m leaning into the Bible and my faith more than ever. I had a conversation at Shelter Island with Morgan last month about God and it was the first time a faith conversation made it all truly click for me. So here I am, deep diving into my faith. Truly in awe of it for the first time honestly in my life. I’m realizing now how detached I was before - caught up in the image of being a Christian more than I was in my actual relationship and devotion to learning more about God. But I’m enchanted by the Bible right now. I got a new beautiful hand covered one off of Etsy as well as a Bible Study guide and it’s helping me see God in the everyday like I never have before.

We will see where the months lead. I’m leaning in and trusting. On the seventh day, God rested. I’m calling this season, my seventh day. A season of rest after many seasons of moving and going (not nearly as much as creating the earth, however). Im doing things for myself again, though. Things that fill me. Give me purpose. Climbing. I’m touring a farm tomorrow I want to start volunteering at. I want to buy a keyboard to improve my piano skills and start taking ASL classes online.

I’m always eager for companionship but also I love being alone - I want to be okay being in this season without Trent. I want to be okay to be alone for once in my life. I feel God moving through me in big ways for some reason - He will reveal it this year I know it.

6/11/21

Well, Trent and I broke up last week. That was unexpected. How am I doing, you ask? How do you anticipate I am doing? Haha. The last few days I’ve been able to choke back tears which is good. I wonder if it’s killed him like it has me.

I don’t have much to say on it right now. I just needed a space to write it down. We might get back together but we also might not. Time will tell. I know that, despite either outcome, I will land on my feet. I just keep reminding myself of that much. I will always land on my feet.

1/27/21

Well, 2021. You crazy little thing, you. You aren’t much better than 2020, but what did we expect? At least Trump isn’t in office. Praise Jesus! I’m only one month in and I feel a tremendous amount of growth. Personally, physically, spiritually, relationionally, emotionally, mentally - all of it. All of me has grown. That’s pretty incredible.

Personally I have learned to stand up for myself and to put my foot down when I am being mistreated. I have learned to not let people walk all over me and how to make my voice heard.

Physically I have lost a lot of weight. Mostly because of the heavy anti-seizure meds I am on but also because of how I have learned to listen to my hunger and how I’ve adjusted my diet. I am feeling very physically healthy and fit.

Spiritually I feel very in-tune with God. I see Him in the day-to-day and I am constantly wanting to challenge myself to grow closer to Him. I am also in a season of wanting to listen to worship music constantly.

Relationally, Trent and I hit a rough patch due to an old pal of his who still reaches out to him and has feelings for him. We had to have a lot of tough conversations and work through a really hard time in our relationship. But we grew together and fought for our relationship and we came out of the other side stronger and better because of it.

Emotionally I have learned to be more open with how things affect me. I have realized that keeping things in does me just as much good as it does the other person. And so I have learned to communicate how I am feeling better and more effectively.

And finally - Mentally - I am stronger. I don’t let the anxieties of the world break the barrier of my mind. I have learned to hold confidence in God and in the path He has me headed in. I know tomorrow will bring the sweetest of fruits and the kindest promises. And even when it doesn’t, I can cling to the truth that someday, it will again.

Although 2021 isn’t all butterflies and rainbows, it isn’t all hurricanes and tornadoes either. It’s something in the in between. Maybe it’s a steady stream or a foggy morning. It’s all just a little weird. And that’s okay. It’s not meant to be perfect. We’re all still figuring it out and catching our breath.

12/28/20

I just wanted to hop on here and update before the new year. We are still fighting the pandemic. The vaccine was just released to healthcare workers - soon to be given to elderly and at-risk populations as well! Hopefully 2021 will be a bit better on the pandemic side of things. In mid-October I developed a headache that lasted until about a week ago. Yeah - 3 months. Day in and day out. It was as gnarly as it sounds! MRIs, MRAs, CT scans, blood work, all of it. I’m currently on anti seizure medication and I think it’s doing the trick, finally, now that I’ve gotten up to the correct dosage! I came up to my parents house for all of December to adjust to the meds and to heal. It was good. I needed to get out of my house. I miss Trent though! I’m still with him and he’s so good. He’s coming to see me tomorrow!

I’m going to quit my job in 2021 and find a new one in a full time position again! I can’t make ends meet on a part time salary anymore. I kind of want to go to dental hygiene school, actually. I’ve been kind of obsessing over it the past couple of days, haha! I’m going to give this one 6 months to fester and if I’m still feeling this way I’m going to pursue the pre-reqs!

What a wild life filled with craziness and love and opportunities and heart break and pain and illness and magic and wonder and faith and hope it will all work out. Here’s to the new year and here’s to hoping it can go even the slightest bit up than the last. Please :) Thanks God for all You’re doing that we can’t even see yet. I know You’re moving. I know You’re working. I know You’re healing. Cheers to 2020 and here’s to 2021!

6/6/20