Shut the front door

i love watching the olympics. i know nothing about these sports but by hour 4 i’m like, “poor dismount. look at those knees. not enough elevation or rotation on that last move. clear 3/10 points deduction. tsk.”

what would you do if you went to a party and they was playing owl city fireflies

Go hard

Planet earth might turn slowly but this ass don’t

I firmly believe that fanfiction readers have the best poker faces. Like, no one is more sneaky/better at lying then those who have read crazy fanfiction smut in public while looking as casual as if they were responding to a text.

idk im kind of confused on taxes?? 

I like how she didn’t even directly mention men and he still said that

IM HOLLERING RIGHT NOW

you think you’re a better kisser than me??? you think you’re a better cuddler? come over here and prove it punk

best modern family scene ever

It’s like one of those tumblr posts that just can’t catch a break

*gets excited about the story i’m going to act out in my head before i fall asleep*

Beds are so warm and soft when the rest of the world is not

i find it really weird how we can talk to ourselves in our head like how does that even work

someone has to date me eventually right

it’s easy to spot an angel you just gotta start telling a story in a group situation when people are too busy talking over each other to hear you. look for that one person who notices and makes eye contact and smiles encouragingly till you’ve finished talking– that’s the angel. same genus as that friend who, when everyone else is jokily slagging you off about something, notices that one comment has hit a nerve and subtly changes the subject or says something in your defence. these people are pure and go straight to heaven.

why do drugs when you can do me