PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
AO3 Writer Affirmations:
I do not have to reinvent the wheel every time I write fanfiction
I do not have to make every chapter's word count above 1,000 in order for it to be good
It is okay if some things don't make sense
I can write whatever I want
I am writing this shit for free
If people don't like my stuff, they can block me. If they're being mean about it, I can block them.
The most important part of writing fanfiction is having fun
Writing fanfiction is supposed to be fun
I do not have to appeal to people
This shit is fun
I am doing this all for free, and anyone who objects can go eat wet sand and worms from the sidewalk
Character concept:
A guy who is very much a chubby chaser/Fat Dame Enthusiast, and very gently apologetic about it. Not to women he's attracted to, but the ones that he isn't. For reasons beyond anyone else's comprehension, he starts with the assumption that any woman would be distraught and devastated about him not finding them physically attractive. Not in an intentinally insulting way, just gingerly avoiding the subject until he feels like it cannot be dodged any further (regardless of whether anyone else was aware of there being a subject), and gently turning them down (regardless of whether anyone was interested in him in the first place) with like "you're a delightful personality and I'm sure that there are plenty of men who would love to have you, but unfortunately I'm not one of them."
Like an inexplicably oily and greasy elderly dog that sheds endless amounts of loose hair and dandruff and would sneeze on your face with no warning, unpromptedly walking up to you to inform you that sadly he does not want to sit on your lap. He is terribly sorry about this and so genuinely apologetic that you don't have the heart to tell him that you really, really didn't want to pick him up at any point at all.
the fic you write doesn’t have to be a masterpiece, it just has to be the story you want to explore for yourself and your own enjoyment
protect em dashes.
protect “not x, not y, but z” format.
protect short sentence stacking as a stylistic choice.
protect fanfic writers—who are kind enough to share their works with people to read for free—from ai witch hunts, speculations and accusations.
“don’t like don’t read” also applies to any fic that is ai-generated and any fic you think is ai-generated by the way. if you don’t like what you’re reading for any reason, you can always stop reading and exit the fic at any point. but harassment is never ever justified. no matter if you think you’ve found a noble excuse to do it. and also…
witch hunts, speculations and accusations harm the writing community as much as ai does. if not more. I don’t want to see another innocent writer get driven away from the community because someone decides to harass and accuse them for using ai just because their fic happens to have “ai telltales” — the same telltales ai got from having been trained on millions of human-made works to mimic how real humans actually write.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
I'm gonna say it, I do think that even the laziest person imaginable should have a roof over their head, food in their stomach, and access to healthcare
the fact that you so strongly identify as a human being and also gender the moon as male are two aspects of you that stand as examples for why i'm so intrigued by you
Humans are weird enough to be fantasy creatures and the moon is my ex boyfriend it’s pretty simple really
I dunno. People feel really strongly about moon genders for some reason.
the whole moon thing is fascinating of itself, but I'm still hung up on "strongly identifying as a human being"
Is there another option I've not been informed of?
I don’t wanna be an elf because elves are fatphobic and a bunch of people keep trying to convince me otherwise
does that technically make you otherkin? on account of not being elfkin?
I’m a human man.
It's important to note that Chekhov's Gun was not originally about foreshadowing, but a piece of advice to playwrights about how every element in a play should have narrative relevance. The corollary to Chekhov's Gun is that if a gun mounted on the wall in act 1 is never used at all in the entirety of the play, then it should be omitted from the play entirely.
Random storytime:
Back when I was studying interior glass design (like how you make those church windows and stuff), most of my schoolmates were a collection of the gayest looking alt girls considerably possible. Like my class year was about 8-12 people (depending on how you count) and in that section there were two that had a mohawk, two that had dreadlocks, and two that had blue hair. Notable mention to the one who was standing firmly in all three categories, having a blue dreadlock mohawk. But anyway I digress.
On my third year there, the new class of students had a girl who looked so wildly out of place there. Dressed all in soft vintage-y pastels with never-been-dyed sandy blonde hair, no piercings save for pearl earrings, no tattoos. Sweet, quiet, so soft-spoken that she was almost inaudible - to the point that we made jokes that we all have to learn sign language because it's the only way she could make herself heard in a rowdy art school classroom. If you've ever been in a zoo that had one of those tropical enclosures with parrots and monkeys all screaming at ear-shattering volumes and tackling each other for shits and giggles, imagine one of those rooms but there's a tiny little big-eyed white-dotted baby fawn sitting shyly in one corner.
Anyway this one time I was out with schoolmates, and she had come along. Having been at the bar for a few drinks, we retired to another classmate's place - she didn't live in the same student housing as I and most of the rest, she had her own apartment and an adorable pink hairless cat who was oddly extroverted and wanted to personally greet and inspect all guests. Didn't like me very much, on account of my hands being cold.
Anyway we sat in the living room - some on the sofa, some on the floor, drinking beers and other such beverages, talking random shit - when I noticed that Little Fawn Girl wasn't there. I knew she didn't smoke so she had definitely not snuck out for a quick one, so I had to go find her. That didn't take long, she was sitting at the hallway by the door, in the dark, with her shoulders hunched up and the hairless cat loudly purring on her lap. She was softly, very softly, petting the cat's smooth leathery skin.
Figuring she wouldn't be here if she'd want to make a scene of all this, I quietly got to her and asked if she's okay. She had tears running down her face and she was shaking, trying to draw a shivery breath to talk, clearly having difficulties to just form a sentence, not to mention also being audible over the loud rumbling engine of Pink Leather Therapy Goblin 3000 on her lap. Eventually, not being able to speak up any better, she leaned in to whisper into my ear.
"It feels just like foreskin", she said, pointedly stroking at the cat. She was drunk and was silently laughing so hard that she was crying, because the cat on her lap had the skin texture identical to that of a cock.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
The 'ingredients you can pronounce means it's healthy' line implies a world in which the kind of nutrition a person requires scales with their biology education and grasp of phonics. Which isn't true, of course, but sure would imply some interesting worldbuilding if it were
a secret kiss art print
These days, lots of public libraries have a "library of things" collection where you can check out kitchen appliances or yard tools or toys, and, as a children's library assistant, the most popular library of things item that I handle regularly is a plastic scepter thingy called like "unicorn princess magic wand". And whenever I check it out I make a big show of looking at the little kid and being like "do you solemnly swear to use your unicorn princess magic powers only for good and never for evil?"
And pretty much without fail, the little kid will get the world's most mischievous grin and go "I'm gonna use it for EVIL!!!"
my favorite thing ab this is “that’s a flute.” b/c it isn’t

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
once you notice half of all memes are just a picture of a black person with unrelated text over them you really cannot unsee it
this is actually horrific right? we can all agree about that?
I'd never thought I needed to be paranoid about the fact that photos I share on social media might be turned into memes in a discord run by JuicyBigNut but that's what existing in a public space as a black person is like! not to mention the fact that they don't even know who the man in the picture, yet we know who first spread it and no one has beaten that guy to death yet
this is actually
horrific right? we can all
agree about that?
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
phainon wears glasses now