Shitpost Blog Probably

fellatio is such an awesome word. sounds like a pasta. but be careful! wouldnt want to order that at a restaurant ... lest some nasty little creature get ahold of that thang

The reason why I can't be trusted into any climate with reptiles larger than me is because if I encountered a baby alligator I would pocket it and run.

I got tagged in this and I should note: Of all the chicken breeds I've met, these are the gentlest and friendliest. Also very somft. All three I've gotten to handle have wanted to cuddle, and they're very warm, like cats.

I got tagged in this and I should note: Of all the chicken breeds I've met, these are the gentlest and friendliest. Also very somft. All three I've gotten to handle have wanted to cuddle, and they're very warm, like cats.

and a cannon is a large mounted gun, usually on wheels, that uses explosives to fire projectiles.

breakdown cancelled, guy in [shop redacted] gave me a discount on my plants ‘just cause’ and then didn’t scan half my other shit either. i was like ‘oh you missed–’ and he goes ‘discount innit’. i think maybe he just hated his job but also possibly humans are good and long story short i’m not mentally ill any more.

If Yao and Ilyukhina lived, i still think they would have eventually started sharing clothes. After some time has passed, Yao is in Grace's fox cardigan, Grace is in Ilyukhina's skirt, and Ilyukhina is wearing Yao's bucket hat. And so on and so forth until laundry becomes practically communal.

I love thinking about Eva Stratt pirating the entire internet. Girl did you figure out how to do that yourself. Fucking amazing. Did you approach some poor government official and force them to do it. That’s fucking wonderful.

Rocky thinking Grace literally said “I have to go and die” on one of their first interactions is so funny to me. Like imagine meeting an alien after almost half a century alone and then they go “ah, bad timing, I’m gonna go lay down and never get up. Nice meeting ya! :)”

The number of times I have been delighted by witty banter only to find out later that I was “Flirting” is both unfortunate and disappointing.

I found out several of my female coworkers were planning on trying to get our male coworker to ask me out because “You guys kept flirting” but I was like “We were literally just goofing around. Like we literally just told jokes to each other. Literally just stuff that friends do, the same stuff you and I do.” I was definitely 100% NOT flirting but everyone thought I was

This might be a good time for Ms. Psych degree here to step in and let ye all know that People Are Unable To Identify Flirting. There are double-blind studies to support this, if you instruct participants to flirt or not flirt with another participant, neither the second participant nor onlookers are able to accurately tell which instruction the first participant was given. Even if you get the flirting participant to rate their attraction to the person they’re flirting with, and only count trials where people are either flirting with people they find attractive, or not flirting with people they don’t find attractive NO ONE CAN TELL WHO IS FLIRTING OR WHO ISN’T.

I’ve heard that people actually have a *less than 50% chance* of guess whether someone is flirting or not.

Thank fuck this isn’t just me failing at humanity

SagePub has one such study here, dated 2014. There might be more recent work, however.

oh thank God! I also thought it was just me.