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i forgot how to sneeze last week, i couldn’t initiate the sneeze, i’d inhale like i was going to but i would fail on the actual sneeze.

I feel like the lesson at the end of the tortoise and the hare should be changed, the tortoise won because the hare was being an arrogant asshole and making needless stops on his way to the finish line. The tortoise was going slow and should have lost if the hare was actually concerned about winning the race. “Slow and steady” does not win the race. Speed and efficiency wins the race.

Today I was at a Hawaiian Falls and while I was eating a burger I saw some grackles and fed them Doritos and they were good boys for Doritos so I named them Goody, Scruffy, and Fluffy but there were two bigger grackles bullying them and I named them meanie and tailless (because one was missing tail feathers)

where is u/ExceedinglyGayOtter’s Tumblr I know he’s here I can sense it

Enough with this ”association” stuff. We should start calling things guilds again. Homeowner’s Association? Homeowner’s Guild. NASA? National Spacecraft Guild.

“Oh, you can sit on the sofa over there.” Stop being so pretentious it’s called a couch.

If you slip your hand inside of your pillow case instead of under it is way more comfy

Hircine better reveal himself to me soon and give me the blessing of lycanthropy or I’m quitting life.