LEO

I hate how you're not about it. Maybe you are. Maybe it's cuz we've been friends for so long it's just weird. Fuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Assfgjjkflff

I had soo many chances aksjskajdjdk uughugh

Out of place everywhere i go

But I have to keep pushing.,.. Focus, You got this 

It’s times like these that really push me to just drop everything and give up. I’m so fucking tired of all the bullshit around me and the feelings I feel inside; I just wanna kill myself and hope to start anew in the next life. Am i depressed? I don’t even know… I mean I definitely love my family and friends, and it would be really selfish of me to to commit suicide just so see them cry over me.. Plus I’m too pussy enough to do it LOL. So no I don’t think I am. Maybe I’m just sad? But the thing is I’ve been feeling this way for a very long time. No one can be this sad for this long.. I don’t remember the last time I genuinely woke up with a big grin on my face… Maybe I’m not looking forward to the important things in life… Well how can I? Not doing well in the most important thing in my life right now, Pharmacy school, and it’s only going to get harder. The stress and the work is so unbearable; the amount of coffee and sleepless nights is not helping me out at any point and studying has made me less anti-social than I already am. I mean sure… I’ve met such great people at college… But I don’t see them as “long-term”… well.. at least not yet; I haven’t seem to “click’ with any of them yet. Most have been supportive of my endeavors though and I am grateful for that. Others, although, have been toxic; I don’t know why I haven’t cut them off… I feel like I’m just using them for school work; it’s justifiable because I’m helping them too… right? well.. Idk.. so selfish of me.. this whole post seems selfish. asdffghjkl… Well to the matter at hand. I believe that I’m not surrounding myself with the right people. This is the stage in life where it’s important that you do and I’m failing hard right now. When I graduated high school, I promised myself to be better than I once was but I feel like I’ve lost my way, with myself, my family and especially with God. I admit defeat. Yep…I lost… I’ve become the person I promised myself I wouldn’t be… I’m a hypocrite.

(yeah i quoted taylor, square up punk)

Bruh just do it lol.... What's the worst that can happen? 🙄🙄🙄🙄