Art Of mine

Made a character design based off of spider lilies. I have been drawing lots of more "realistic" people, so I just drew something more cartoony or video gamey. Especially since I just finished my final for my oil painting class. It was supposed to be a self-portrait, but I tend to have trouble when it comes to drawing myself since I don't really know what I look like. Like how if you look at a drawing for too long you have trouble telling what is wrong with it. It is like I have seen how I look for so long I can't tell what my face looks like? Either way I think it turned out pretty good. The only thing is I really did not like either of the art classes I have taken so far. I really wish art teachers gave more freedom to the students especially in beginner classes, I understand teaching fundamentals but no one in that class that is not already interested in art is going to gain any interest if all you have them do is paint or sketch still lives. For context I am in only beginner classes since I have not taken art classes before. That is another thing too, they do not let us explore different shading styles or styles for anything at all. Anyways that's all.

I have been playing a lot of No I am Not a Human recently. The game is really cool to me, and I like how all the characters are so different from each other. I normally don't do fanart, but I thought it would be fun since I think the cashier girl is my favorite of them. I like how they wrote her too. I honestly don't think she actually accepted being a visitor, I think that was just her way of coping with her own situation. The path of least resistance. I think that's a pretty big coping mechanism for many people with anxiety, but I don't think it gets talked about all that much. I also find it really cool how you are made to guess who is or is not a visitor, but you can't exactly use how they look to guess. I mean some of the confirmed humans when I first played the game I thought they were 100% a visitor.

I wish there was a textbook for life, like a guidebook or something. I don't know what I want honestly or who I want to be. I think I like to draw. But also, I like so many things at once. I tried fake tanning today; I don't think I like it.

I don't like how art is treated sometimes. I know that some people think of it likes it is something that needs to be perfect or that it's supposed to have some sort of really big meaning behind it that you have to decipher. I think that can relate to many other topics as well. Even now there is pressure for me to know what I want to do, to know what I want to do in life. But I don't. I don't think most people do. Art is art and whatever we decide to do with it that's our choice, the imperfections are what make art human. Our own imperfections are what make us interesting.