im all by myself. who are you? i love you too.

looking has become the new sex

The person who tweeted “y’all can’t even boycott Chick-fil-A” was right then and continues to be proven right now

i need to get off tumblr i’m at the aquarium admiring the fish and my brain goes “posts that make you want to get in the water” what are you talking about. these are live fish in the room with you. what post.

my birthday is in july! :)

Wile E. Coyote, two milliseconds before he lights a match only to reveal he's surrounded by flammable traps he himself has set and the whole website explodes

Let me click u

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

whats everyones favorite cocktails. i totally adore a sex on the beach. no rum and coke okay i want your favorite gay ass colorful fruity tasting type of drink okay? okay. i trust you. i love you

let's all go to tumblr and order the deformed erotic visage. the look on the mod's face will be an ecstatic contortion

My five year plan is to just see what happens