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God, what a particular brand of horror story Taissa and Van are trapped in. Taissa being buried beneath her “better instincts”, possibly being walled up at the back of her own mind as her alter ego runs the show. Van finding the love of her life again, only to realize it maybe hasn’t really been her—not the way she thought—at all. Taissa only being awake when she’s asleep. Van only getting this woman she loves at a terrible cost. It’s awful. It’s delicious. It makes a horrible sense. Taissa and Van, who could have had this love story—if there’d been time. If they could have been patient. But Van showed up terminal, and there isn’t time for divorce proceedings and slowly warming back up to one another, so…Other Tai grabbed the wheel, stepped on the gas, and made the call. A horror story in the name of love. How epic. How horrendous. I love this show so much.

Also please let’s discuss the Other Tai of it all, because this is important to me. She isn’t evil. It’s incredibly important to understand she isn’t evil. She’s hungry. She’s hungry for all the things that kept Taissa alive in the woods. She IS the thing that kept Taissa alive in the woods, in her own way. She was the very essence of nature. She was dirt and trees and need. What kept Tai alive out there? Food. Meat. Van. What does Other Tai naturally gravitate toward, trying to steer Taissa toward the things she needs? Food. Meat. Van. That political career? Theater. That family polished to a shine? Facade. What really matters, when everything else is shorn away? Food. Meat. Van. Base impulse. First loves and full bellies. She isn’t evil. She’s trying to keep Tai fed and alive, as she always has. It just comes at such a terrible cost.

God, the little-kid panic-excitement of Van going “I’m gonna call my mom!” This woman we KNOW isn’t a present or really functional parent, but Van’s impulse is still to reach for her. Van, who has nearly died so many times, who is faced with a piece of tech that is designed to save her life. Who finds it broken. Who finds it just out of reach. You can keep going, but we’re gonna keep pulling that football before you can kick it. You must keep going, but the flames will just keep licking your heels. Of course she grows up fixing old tech. Of course she does. Of course she still dreams of flames. Of course she does.

Not much to say except that the Taivan tree scene in today’s episode was by far the hottest thing that’s ever happened, and I salute Yellowjackets every time they go hard on the homo stuff.

akilah being a younger sister. travis being an older brother. akilah fully trusting him to protect her from lottie. travis needing to protect her because he couldn't save javi from the other girls and was once a victim of lottie's himself. akilah only voting against ben once travis did. lottie making travis use drugs to dissociate from the grief of losing javi, while akilah tries to ground him and give him a goat that he can hold onto and protect instead. akilah being the only one besides nat who wanted to try to save javi. it got to me okay.