Sans titre

66. who was your celebrity gay awakening?

camila cabello & lauren jauregui *cough* CAMREN

Whoever you are, God bless you for asking such good questions! An easy one and a very very hard one.

So, the easy one, it’s the unreleased song I like the most: U Shaped Space. I could listen to that song for hours and hours. I love it. Maybe the lyrics aren’t the best ever, but it just sounds heavenly in my ears. I once was so attached to it that I asked @karlaswine and Music Anon what my brain could possibly like so much about it and why the lyrics just don’t make sense and this is what they had to say: Karla - Music Anon.

About the leaked song I think best represents Lauren and Camila’s relationship, I honestly went and read the lyrics of every unreleased song by Camila available on Genius and I realized, given the several different stages they went through, it would be hard to choose just one song. So I left open the few that I think are more meaningful to their relationship considering the very few things we know about it, and tried to arrange them in some sort of chronological order.

Only Told The Moon: this is one of the Camren anthems, Camila wrote it at 16, if you ask me, when she was wondering if a certain green eyed beauty was thinking about her the same way. Great song, in my opinion. Very Camila. It’s a shame we won’t get a final version of it.

Like Friends Do: when they realized they couldn’t just pass it as a platonic thing anymore. It’s not a full leaked song, but she sang the snippet we know herself in an interview, and it’s pretty straightforward. She mentioned it together with Only Told The Moon, so I would put these two very close in a timeline.

Leave For Good: possibly tied to that time that Lauren talked about in her infamous podcast, where she knew she liked this girl but she wasn’t confident enough in her feelings and sexual orientation to have a stable relationship with her (and she then realized this girl didn’t deserve to be treated that way). Written when she was still in 5H, somebody associated this song with year 2014 in Genius’ page for the lyrics.

The Exchange: Also written while Camila was still in 5H. Take Verse 1, Verse 2, Pre Chrorus and Bridge, and forget about the rest. What you got then is a bit like a Romeo and Juliet story, a forbidden love, the story of two lovers who want to run away together. In the bridge she also mentions a phase of denial (much like Lauren said she went through regarding her queer feelings). But at the end of the day, they know they love each other.

Knows Me: Camila’s most vulnerable times, when she had her darkest times with mental health back during the end of 2015 and all of 2016. She was asking her love to be there for her. I don’t know when she wrote this, but the lyrics reminded me of those times.

Must Be Love: Camila sang a line of it during a live stream on July 2017, stating she had written that song that week. I think this one is like, ‘fuck, we broke up and only now I realize to what extent I love you’. I believe it ties to a big break up Camren supposedly had during 2017 -or so is the speculation in the fandom-. If you asked me to choose only one of these as an answer to your question, I would pick this one. Because it’s bittersweet, like their relationship: it’s a deep, true love, but it had to go through a lot of heartbreak. Nodoby doubts it’s love anyways. Always Love, remember? :P

Taxi: so if you take Verse 1 and Verse 2 and throw them out the window, you realize the song is telling a totally different story (and it has nothing to do with English men or English towns). I remember from the time machine post I wrote with Stuck that Camila was teasing this song on early December 2018, so I would sit this song on a time when they’re back together (cough, confirmed by AMAs 2018, cough) and they know then that their love is resilient, they had to go through a lot (never been easy /// you know my demons by name, I know your beautiful soul) but they’re each other’s home (We'll tell the moon when we're old / The greatest love story that's never been told). As much as for Only Told The Moon, I am deeply offended that this song won’t be officially released.

Anyone: I like to think that this is them since they’re back together. Like, enjoying their time together as much as they can. But still, there’s always a lingering fear there, because you never know what the industry can come up with, or what other struggles their love will have to endure. I’ve not been researching whether this was originally written by Camila or not, I’ve only read in some blogs that these are probably Jon Bellion’s lyrics and Camila just made some adjustments. But still, my reading of it is, she’s once more reassuring her lover (like she already did in Find U Again), that she will always love her ;).

While doing this, I remembered I owe @stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland  a song analysis on Must Be Love. Perdón, amiga!! Hopefully I can do that next!