yellow dress

The Washington Post Style Guide Now Accepts Singular ‘They’

What do you do when you run into your friend on their birthday? You wish them a happy birthday, of course!

-The Salvation Army [x]

-PETA [x]

-Susan G. Kormen for the Cure [x]

-Autism Speaks [x]

Well than you for the concern anon, I appreciate you taking the time to message me. I have given your worries some thought, and while I thought about it I watched my 2013 crossing line vid: 

And then I thought I would look at last years too while I was at it 

I think I’m gonna be all right but thank you

Picked out a cake at Meijer. Asked bakery-looking-employee if she could write on it for me. She said she would, and after a long time, she came and presented me with this cake. I looked her In the eye and said thank you before I even looked at the cake. After looking, I nervously laughed and headed to check out- it didn’t really matter to me that it looked so bad- I thought people would think it was funny. The cashiers at the self check out didn’t think it was so funny though, and called a few more cashiers and a manager over to look, even taking pictures. To my surprise, after they discussed it, one cashier put her arm on my shoulder and said “the girl who wrote that has Autism. Thank you for smiling and thanking her- even though she’s not supposed to write on cakes, you probably made her day.” So I guess the moral of the story is that kindness is important!“

Seems like a nice little story, doesn’t it? The kind of thing anyone can find on Upworthy.

There’s a lot to unpack here.

First,

How do you know it made her day?

It’s nice for able people to think that the autistic woman went home, grinning at the simple act of kindness that brightened her life. However, that is probably not what happened. 

The Meijer cake woman probably just thought, “Oh, she said thank you. That’s nice,” and carried on with her day, unaware that her employer had outed her as autistic without consulting her first. She probably wanted to go about her day, doing her best and being a hard worker like any other employee. 

She probably went home, and suddenly her cake was posted all over the internet, people treating her like a child, people congratulating her customer for having some basic human decency. The fact that she’s autistic is all over the internet without her consent, even if her name isn’t specifically spelled out. It’s rather easy for someone to find the bakery and narrow down who she is. People are acting like going to the store and buying a cake from the woman is an incredible act of kindness, when in reality, the woman probably wants to live her life.

“But Ally!” I hear you say. “Stop being so politically correct! Can’t we do anything nice for Persons With Disabilities?”

You can, when you’re doing actually nice things, and when you’re not plastering it around the internet and saying, “Look how nice I am as a person.”

Kindness isn’t the absence of cruelty. Kindness is an actual action, not saying thank you to a person like everyone should. The customer doesn’t get a gold medal for not being a bully to someone who differs. 

It really says a lot about how we treat the bullying of disabled people that not being a complete asshole is enough to turn someone into a Benevolent Angel. The standard for treating disabled people with some dignity is so low that basic politeness is considered exceptional. 

This woman isn’t being treated with any dignity, or like an actual person. She’s being treated like a charity case, when in reality you should thank someone and smile at them regardless of the service you’ve received. That’s what I learned at least.

God, I can’t believe I’m schooling allistics on social skills.

I don’t give a fuck how you sit in order to be comfortable. Slouch, lean, sit straight, rest you head on your hand, sit by a window, stand, fucking hang up-side-down on the baggage rack! Awesome! Just don’t take up more than one fucking seat and don’t invade someone’s personal space, dickwad. I don’t appreciate knocking knees with some dude who feels the need to fucking spread his legs wider than a sexually-liberated woman. It’s fucking rude, it’s like the people who put their bags on the seat next to them and then refuse to move it, but I don’t see you championing for their right to sit comfortably. 

My socially awkward ass is tired of sitting like this

Same shit, all the time.

Sanam Talks Bindis, Self-Acceptance & Smilies

From rocking her unique aesthetic to making a starring appearance in Rihanna’s “BBHMM” music video, the Desi beauty is on one helluva roll.

Superhero comics have ALWAYS been political.

Captain America was the creation of two Jewish men, and they had him beat the shit out of Hitler.

The rash of killings of Civil Rights leaders in the 60’s and 70’s (particularly MLK) led to Luke Cage, a black man with unbreakable skin, being created.

The X-Men have ALWAYS reflected the current political times, whether it was the origins in the beginning of the Civil Rights Era, to the reflection of LGBTQA rights during the AIDS crisis with the Legacy Virus.

supportive of women who grow hair in places other than their legs and underarms, no matter for the cause of this

supportive of trans women to affirm they don’t need to get rid of every body hair to qualify as feminine

Women have been a leading force in sanitation strikes, calling for equal treatment and job security. This particular service industry has been the focus of multiple feminist manifestos and employment goals. Women fought long and hard to gain the right to work in sanitation, and they’re continuing that effort to open up the field more. This issue is so big that Parks and Rec even made an episode about it. 

Female sewer workers have repeatedly sued the DEP for unfair treatment, seeking to open up the industry and gain equal status with their male peers. Sewer work is often targeted for its biased hiring practices. Hundreds of female candidates fight for limited available positions, but most are turned away, despite having the necessary experience and skills. Feminist workers recognize that these women are willing and able to do the work, but aren’t getting the opportunity to gain employment here. 

Historically, coal mining is one of the most highly targeted careers for gender bias. Women have been petitioning for the opportunity to mine safely since the Industrial Revolution. This is actually one of the primary and best studied examples of women fighting to enter traditionally male fields. Lots of women, who both succeeded in the mines and didn’t, continue to petition for increased access to this field. 

And yeah, women want white collar jobs too. Go figure - A diverse population of women, with different abilities, interests and levels of education, are all fighting for the right to seek diverse forms of employment. Fighting for equality in one sphere doesn’t mean that we’ve forgotten about the others. 

And by “too harmful to women” I of course mean “too harmful to their uterus.*”

Like, there was a case back in the… 80s, I think? where some women worked at some sort of factory or plant or something. (I’ll be honest, I don’t remember a lot of the details of this— Google, however, informs me that I was right and it was in the 80s).

Anyway, there were hazardous materials in the plant. And, using laws that were intended to protect pregnant women, the company basically realized, “hey, wait a minute, we don’t need to have any women working here and we can get away with it!” Because, see, hazardous materials like that are bad for fetus.

So the company basically told a bunch of women “you can’t work here anymore because you can have babies and it’s not safe for you.” But, you know, one thing they could do would be to get sterilized, and then they could keep working there. So women did— women who would not otherwise chosen to have been sterilized got sterilized because it was either that or lose the jobs that they desperately needed.

And then the company fired them all anyway.

Like, no joke. They even made a movie out of it.

Stuff like this gets ignored all the time. I hear the argument all the time “well women can’t be drafted…” Well, first off, let’s set aside the whole issue of the draft because that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms. But you’re acting like there aren’t any women who would want to volunteer to be in the military. There are plenty. Only lots don’t because they’re discouraged from it or aren’t allowed to serve in the role they want. Or they do join but often leave because of severe sexual harassment and even sexual assault.

Saying that women “don’t want” these jobs is ridiculous on multiple levels— but what it does do is work to affirm the idea of women as illogical, weak, and “naturally” not suited for particular jobs.

Dear Non-Muslim Allies,

I am writing to you because it has gotten just that bad. I have found myself telling too many people about the advice given to me years ago by the late composer Herbert Brun, a German Jew who fled Germany at the age of 15: “be sure that your passport is in order.” It’s not enough to laugh at Donald Trump anymore. The rhetoric about Muslims has gotten so nasty, and is everywhere, on every channel, every newsfeed. It is clearly fueling daily events of targeted violence, vandalism, vigilante harassment, discrimination. I want you to know that it has gotten bad enough that my family and I talk about what to keep on hand if we need to leave quickly, and where we should go, maybe if the election goes the wrong way, or if folks get stirred up enough to be dangerous before the election. When things seem less scary, we talk about a five or a ten year plan to go somewhere where cops don’t carry guns and hate speech isn’t allowed on network television. And if you don’t already know this about me, I want you to know that I was born in this country. I have lived my whole life in this country. I have spent my entire adult life working to help the poor, the disabled and the dispossessed access the legal system in this country. And I want you to know that I am devoutly and proudly Muslim.

I am writing this in response to a non Muslim friend’s question about what she can do. Because there is much that can be done in solidarity:

If you see a Muslim or someone who might be identified as Muslim being harassed, stop, say something, intervene, call for help.

If you ride public transportation, sit next to the hijabi woman and say asalam ‘alaykum (That means ‘peace to you.’). Don’t worry about mispronouncing it; she won’t care. Just say “peace” if you like. She’ll smile; smile back. If you feel like it, start a conversation. If you don’t, sit there and make sure no one harasses her.

If you have a Muslim work colleague, check in. Tell them that the news is horrifying and you want them to know you’re there for them.

If you have neighbors who are Muslim, keep an eye out for them. If you’re walking your kids home from the bus stop, invite their kids to walk with you.

Talk to your kids. They’re picking up on the anti-Muslim message. Make sure they know how you feel and talk to them about what they can do when they see bullying or hear hate speech at school.

Call out hate speech when you hear it—if it incites hatred or violence against a specified group, call it out: in your living room, at work, with friends, in public. It is most important that you do this among folks who may not know a Muslim.

Set up a “learn about Islam” forum at your book club, school, congregation, dinner club. Call your state CAIR organization, interfaith group or local mosque and see if there is someone who has speaking experience and could come and answer questions about Islam and American Muslims for your group. They won’t be offended. They will want the opportunity to do something to dispel the nastiness.

Write Op Eds and articles saying how deplorable the anti-Muslim rhetoric has gotten and voice your support for Muslim Americans in whatever way you can.

Call your state and local representatives, let them know that you are concerned about hate speech against your Muslim friends and neighbors in politics and the media, that it is unacceptable and you want them to call it out whenever they hear it, on your behalf.

Out yourself as someone who won’t stand for Islamophobia, or will stand with Muslims—there is an awful lot of hate filling the airways, and there are an awful lot of people with access to the media and/or authority stirring the pot about Muslims. Please help fill that space with support instead. Post, write, use your profile picture or blog to voice your support.

Ask me anything. Really. Engage the Muslims in your life. Make sure you really feel comfortable standing for and with your Muslim friends, neighbors, coworkers.

I can tell you that in addition to the very real threat to their civil and human rights that Muslims are facing, we are dealing with a tremendous amount of anxiety. While we, many of us, rely on our faith to stay strong, we are human. This is not an easy time. What you do will mean everything to the Muslim Americans around you. Thank you for reading and bless you in your efforts. Share freely.

3-D printing may allow the visually impaired to experience visual art