yeahmayben

I hate how dependent I am on energy drinks now. I might be the world's biggest hypocrite. I preached and preached about how energy drinks were bad and wrong and all that, until I tried it. Now, that's not always a bad thing, unless it actually is a harmful thing you're saying is bad (ex, saying oh smoking bad, trying it and liking it, vs oh ravioli is bad , trying it and liking it). I ended up trying an energy drink for the first time when I wasn't in a good place mentally, I was in a really bad depressive episode (or maybe it's just depression and it got worse then, because really it's always lingering, but I don't wanna self diagnose) when I tried it, so it was really an impulse buy and try. But, I bought it, and It was shocking to try at first, I liked it but it made me feel really weird. Then I went and bought another one after that, realizing I liked how it made me feel and obviously you can see where this is going. Now I often think about drinking them, to the point where sometimes I plan my day around if I'm getting one or not; stupid ik. I found when my possiblydepression(butmaybenot)butmaybejustanepisode(ormaybenot) got bad recently, instead of the "common" things of thinking about; id think about doing things I knew were bad for me on top of the "common" things. Example, and specifically I have thought of drinking energy drinks, and vaping. Weird combo, ik. I don't think I could ever vape, and I will never. But energy drinks have become such an annoying part of my life, and they sometimes make me, mentally, feel more secure about not eating (eating disorder). Idk fam ts pmo

I hate feeling stressed when there's nothing that I need to actually be stressed about

I hate wearing glasses and not wearing glasses because wdym they're a pain to wear but wdym I can't see without them like please I just wanna see far away